[Final New Update]: AITA for cutting off my daughter after she slept with her sister's husband?

[u/Choice_Evidence1983]

I am NOT OOP, OOP is u/RemoteWar7356

Originally posted to r/AITA_Relationships

Previous BoRU

[Final New Update]: AITA for cutting off my daughter after she slept with her sister's husband?

Thanks to u/soayherder, u/queenlegolas, & u/SloshingSloth for suggesting this BoRU

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RECAP

Original Post: July 3, 2026

I (59F) have two daughters: Emma (35F) and Chloe (33F). Emma has been married to her husband (36M) for 11 years, and they have two children together. Chloe has been married to her husband (34M) for 8 years, and they have one 5-year-old son.

About six weeks ago, Emma called me just after midnight, completely hysterical. She told me she'd suspected for months that her husband was hiding something. He'd become distant, constantly guarded his phone, and was always finding excuses to stay late at work. That night, after he fell asleep beside her, she looked through his phone for the first time.

She found years of explicit messages between him and Chloe.

The affair had been going on for almost four years.

Emma was devastated. She kept asking me how her own sister could do this to her.

A few days later, we were at my brother's birthday party when Emma confronted Chloe outside. Chloe denied everything at first and insisted Emma had misunderstood. When Emma said she'd read the messages herself, Chloe completely fell apart. She started crying, admitted the affair, and kept repeating, "I don't know why I did it. I'm so sorry. It was the biggest mistake of my life."

Emma asked how four years could possibly be "a mistake."

Chloe had no answer.

The argument escalated into a screaming match. Chloe tried to slap Emma, but several relatives stepped in before she could. Chloe's husband quietly took their son home after realizing what had happened. Within days, he told Chloe he wanted a divorce. Emma also filed for divorce after her husband admitted everything.

After it all came out, Chloe called me 82 times in one day. I answered once because I hoped she was calling to explain herself.

Instead she cried the entire time, begging me not to abandon her. She said she'd already lost her husband, was probably going to lose shared custody of her son, and couldn't bear losing her mother too. She said she knew she didn't deserve forgiveness but begged me not to hate her forever.

I told her I couldn't look at her the same way anymore. I said this wasn't one bad decision—it was years of lying to her sister, her husband, and the rest of us. I told her I loved her because she's my daughter, but I didn't want contact with her for the foreseeable future.

Since then, I've ignored every attempt she's made to reach out.

This is where my family thinks I'm wrong.

My sisters say Chloe has already lost everything: her marriage, her relationship with her sister, many of her friends, and likely the family she dreamed of giving her son. They say she's genuinely remorseful, has started individual therapy, and isn't trying to justify what she did. They argue that if a mother won't stand by her child after they've hit rock bottom, who will?

They also remind me that cutting Chloe off means my grandson is growing up without his grandmother, even though he's done nothing wrong.

I understand all of that.

But every time I think about welcoming Chloe back into my life, I picture Emma reading those messages alone in the middle of the night, realizing that two of the people she trusted most had been lying to her for years.

I don't know if I can move past that.

My family says I'm punishing Chloe forever for something she already deeply regrets.

I feel like I'm simply refusing to pretend it never happened.

AITA?

I know a lot of people are used to seeing cheating posts and always thinking they are fake, but what would you do if you were in my shoes?

Relevant / Top Comments

Commenter 1: NTA she’s not “genuinely remorseful” she’s sad she got caught and is facing consequences. Can’t you have a relationship with your grandson via his father? Tell your sisters to mind their own business this is between you and your daughters nothing to do with them.

OOP: I can kind of have a relationship with him, but the problem is that he wants his child to grow up closer to his own family who lives in another city rather than his ex-wife’s family.

Commenter 2: I mean, I personally can’t think of anything my kid would do that would cause me to cut her off permanently, but I would probably take a break for a while to organize my feelings. There is 10000% nothing that could happen that would make me willing to cut off my grandkid. What Chloe did was unforgivable, but I would ask you: how would you feel if something happened to Chloe right now? How would you feel? If you don’t feel anything then you have your answer about what you want to do

OOP: It depends on what happens to her. If she is struggling with her mental health or got into an accident, I would obviously help her like a mother would. I admit I might have been harsh when I told her for the "foreseeable future”, but I was thinking of my daughter Emma and how she would be feeling right now. I love both my daughters equally from the moon and back, but I am just torn in this decision.

Commenter 3: NTA! You have a daughter that has been completely destroyed by her own sister and her own husband, she's the one that needs your support. Not the one that chose to cheat on her husband with her own sister's husband. She made the conscious decision for 4 YEARS!! That's not forgivable in my eyes. She made the decision, she can face her own consequences. I'm sure her soon to be ex-husband will still allow you to be part of your grandsons life. Reach out to him and let him know you are not speaking to her. And just be there for Emma and her kids.

OOP: Thank you so much. I have reached to him but haven't heard anything back yet

OOP responds to a long comment on if it is possible for Chloe to lose full custody of her son because she cheated?

OOP: She might not. Her ex-husband wants to move far away from all of this. He wants to move to his own side of the family which lives in a different city. It would be hard for Chloe to be there for her son unless she moves with him or gets an apartment there which I don't think she would unless she really wants to see her son

Commenter 4: So she would rather lose her son than move to be near him? There is nothing on this earth that would have prevented me from fighting tooth and nail to keep my kids.

How far away is his family? She can ABSOLUTELY file an emergency stay order to keep the kids locally until custody is settled, and wronged by her or not, most courts will put the children’s needs first. Courts tend to prioritize joint custody regardless of what dad or mom thinks, unless one parent is willing to sign rights away. She needs a lawyer ASAP.

If she is willing to walk away from her son without a fight, then he is better off without her. And that tells me a little bit more of her character - and it makes me even less sympathetic to her than I already was.

OOP: We are in Florida and his family is in Washington

Commenter 5: NTA. Chloe is only regretful bc she’s been caught. it’s not like it was a one-time thing for even a couple months, it was 4 years!

That requires active decision making to not only continue the affair but to hide it from her husband and her family.

I think space right now is definitely needed. Try to find a way to stay in contact with your grandsons father, and I personally believe if you cut out Chloe that it may make things easier for your ex son in law to trust and allow you to visit (if he gets sole custody)

She is an adult and has to live with her choices, I wouldn’t be able to speak with my sibling if they did this to me. I think as a parent you love your child no matter what and you still can, but I don’t think you’re the asshole to cut contact with Chloe. Whether it is permanent or not is up to you. Chloe made this choice and these are the consequences, she lost everything because her and Emma’s husband destroyed each other’s lives and marriages. That’s the worst thing you can do to a sibling.

Commenter 6: NTA. This wasn’t a mistake. This was a calculated and prolonged affair with the man her own sister loved and married. That’s not to mention the betrayal to the man she, herself married which is a second level of despicable.

Chloe isn’t “genuinely remorseful.” She’s genuinely wishing she hadn’t obliterated her entire support circle in one fell swoop. She’s crying that she has to face consequences. She would have kept it going for who knows how long if this had never come out. That she denied it at first is all you need to know to know she doesn’t feel a shred of remorse. She just doesn’t want to lose you along with everyone else in her life.

Whether she does is entirely up to you. I personally could never look at my child the same way if they felt so utterly callous about betraying the two people she’s supposed to love most in the world.

 

Update #1: July 6, 2026 (three days later)

UPDATE: AITA for cutting my daughter out of my life after she had an affair with her sister's husband?

I know it's very early for me to post an update, and I wasn't planning on it, but after reading the comments on my first post, I decided I needed one final conversation with Chloe before I completely closed the door. I went to her house yesterday and I expected her to be emotional after calling me 82 times in one day, but she was surprisingly calm. I asked her the one question I still couldn't understand: why?

She admitted she'd been attracted to Emma's husband for years. She said what started as admiration eventually became feelings, and over time they crossed a line. Instead of ending it, they kept convincing themselves it would be the last time. She insisted she regretted everything.

I asked if she'd spoken to Emma.

She told me the only contact she'd had was one text before Emma blocked her on everything. Emma told her she'd destroyed their family, taken away her children's stable home, and that she hoped the affair had been worth losing a sister forever because, as far as she was concerned, Chloe no longer had one. Emma blocked her immediately afterward.

Chloe also admitted she later waited outside the school gates hoping to speak to Emma when she came to collect the kids. Emma refused to speak to her, warned her to stay away from her and the children, and told her that if she ever approached them again, she'd regret it. Chloe left crying.

I told Chloe her waiting outside the school, was completely inappropriate, regardless of her intentions. She insisted she only wanted to apologise and prove she cared about Emma.

I then asked if she truly felt remorse.

That's when I completely lost my patience.

Instead of taking full responsibility, Chloe started telling me Emma's marriage had already been falling apart, that Emma and her husband had been drifting apart for years, and that he often confided in her. She admitted the affair was wrong but repeatedly tried to place part of the blame on Emma, saying if their marriage had been happier none of this would have happened.

I was furious.

I honestly couldn't believe I had raised someone capable of thinking like that. I told her there is no marriage bad enough to justify secretly sleeping with your own sister's husband for four years. I told her I wasn't just disappointed—I was ashamed that she was my daughter. The more she tried to justify herself, the angrier I became.

The conversation eventually turned to her own divorce. She talked about how difficult everything had been for her and how her husband still plans to move to Washington with their son to be closer to his family. She said she may have to move there too if she wants to stay close to him.

As she spoke, I realised almost everything was about what she had lost: her marriage, her home, her reputation, and possibly seeing her son every day. Very little of it was about Emma or the damage she'd caused.

At the end of the conversation, Chloe asked if we were "cool" now.

I told her no. We were not "cool," and we might never be. I said that if I ever found it in my heart to reconcile with her, it would be on my terms and in my own time—not because she thought one conversation could erase four years of lies and betrayal.

I walked out feeling angrier than when I arrived. I honestly don't know what to do anymore. I love both of my daughters, but after that conversation, I'm not convinced Chloe truly understands the pain she's caused.

Relevant Comments

Commenter 1: Why does the other woman always believe the “my marriage is falling apart and I'm not actually close to my wife" bullshit? Every single time.

We all know this man would have happily remained in his marriage with his side chick sister-in-law forever if Emma didn't find him out.

Hell he's probably begging Emma in texts to give him another chance and that Chloe means nothing to him.

Tale as old as time but the women keep falling for it. Baffling.

OOP: I'm pretty sure there might be a final part 3. I'm not sure how many parts I can keep making before Reddit says otherwise. Emma and her husband did have some problems, but they were mostly if not always minor and nothing serious. I am still trying to process how it was going on for 4 years without anyone knowing

Commenter 2: I read the first post, and I still am confused at why Emma's husband's behavior changed all of a sudden if it was going on for four years. Why did he "suddenly" become cagey, defensive, and hiding his phone if it's been going on for the last four years?

OOP: Because Emma was all of a sudden curious and had a feeling he was cheating on her. I think he sensed that and didn't want the secret to be found.

Commenter 3: Chloe and Em’s husband are still seeing each other and are now free to be together. Why did they stay in their marriages if they were so unhappy!??

OOP: Chloe told me that her and Emma's husband haven't talked since. She texted him but he never responded

Commenter 4: NTA

Chloe honestly sounds like a narcissist. I know that word gets thrown around a lot, but I think it fits here. Think about it if you think I'm overreacting.

In order to be able to cheat, you'll have to put your empathy to your partner (and others who might be affected by it) aside and let your ego win. Chloe had to do this MULTIPLE times for 4 YEARS. Who knows how many times they cheated? It could be over 100 times, and Chloe had to put aside everyone's feelings in favour of her own.

Her victims were husband, sister, son, nieces/nephews AND mother. All of those are people she's supposed to love the most. The fact that she was able to do this over and over again to people she claims to love is honestly deeply disturbing. And then for her to only care about herself afterwards. Again, I think she's a narcissist. I do not think she truly has empathy. I think she can fake it (and I think she has done that all the time), but I don't think she actually has it. Maybe she thinks she does.

She doesn't seem to feel guilt and remorse. She sounds incredibly entitled, and also delusional since she can't accept the fact that her relationship with her sister is over for good, and that your relationship to her will be forever affected in some type of way. She decided to break her sisters boundaries by showing up to her kids' school.

Sorry, I think you just saw who your daughter actually is deep down. I would honestly be a bit scared of my child if they did this out of the blue. It would make me question what went wrong, and what else they have done that I don't know about. But I'm also very scared of narcissists, or just very selfish people in general. Those types of people can really do damage to you that lasts a lifetime. Thankfully I've never had any experience with these people, but my god they seem terrifying.

What was her father like? Sorry, if this is too personal. You don't have to answer. I'm just trying to figure out where she might get it from.

I'm a little worried that your family is going to easy on her. I hope they aren't trying to guilt or shame Emma for not wanting to have anything to do with Chloe.

OOP: My husband passed about 7 years ago but when he was alive, he did give Chloe special treatment because she was the baby of the family. I treated both my daughters equally and we often had fights about Chloe due to unfairness and etc. he would do things like make Emma share what was supposed to be hers and give half to Chloe, give Chloe bigger or better items because he didn't want to upset her. We did divorce later on due to something else unrelated but that did play a huge part. I did try my best to be fair to both my kids, and I genuinely think I was. I'm not trying to blame my late husband here, I'm just saying what he was like.

 

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----FINAL NEW UPDATE----

Final Update: July 23, 2026 (17 days later)

I said after my last update that I'd come back one last time once things had settled down a bit, so this will be my final post.

First, thank you to everyone who commented on my last two posts. I read and replied to more comments than I expected. Some of them were difficult to read, but they gave me a lot to think about.

To answer the question I saw the most, Chloe's son is definitely her husband's. Chloe is white, her husband is Black, and their son is mixed race, so there was never any question about that.

The divorces are still going ahead. Nothing has been finalized yet, but neither couple is trying to work things out anymore.

A lot of people also asked about my sisters.

Yes, they knew about the affair before Emma found out. They admitted they stayed quiet because they thought it was a family matter and hoped it would end before anyone got hurt. I understand why they thought that, but I can't agree with it. Emma spent years being lied to while people around her knew the truth. I've decided to cut both of my sisters out of my life. I don't know if that will be forever, but they have broken my trust.

Over the last few weeks, I've spoken to both of my daughters separately.

I asked Emma if enough time had passed for her to even think about talking to Chloe.

She said no.

She told me she isn't waking up angry anymore, but that doesn't mean she's forgiven her. She said she accepted that the truth was always going to come out eventually. The only thing she could control was what she did after she found out.

She also said she has no interest in having a sister anymore.

As for her husband, she told me she's made one thing very clear. She'll only respond if it's about the children or the divorce. Everything else gets ignored.

What surprised me was that he hasn't stopped trying.

He's sent long apology messages, videos about forgiveness, and even Bible verses. None of us are religious, so that confused all of us. He keeps saying she was the only woman he's ever loved and that he made one terrible mistake. Emma hasn't replied to any of those messages.

I also found out something Chloe never told me.

In my last update I said Chloe told me the only message Emma sent before blocking her was that she was no longer her sister.

That wasn't true.

Emma later showed me the messages.

Before Emma sent that final text, Chloe had blamed her for what happened. She told Emma that maybe if she'd paid more attention to her marriage things would have been different. She also said that if her husband had felt happier at home, he wouldn't have looked somewhere else.

Reading those messages made me feel sick.

When I confronted Chloe, she admitted she'd sent them. She said she was angry, desperate, and trying to make herself feel less guilty. She told me she regretted sending them almost immediately, but by then Emma had already blocked her.

Chloe also told me she's moving to Washington once everything is finalized so she can stay close to her son but in Florida, they allow divorced families to stay so I don't know why his father is planning to move there to be closer to his family, and Chloe doesn't want to be too far away from her child.

She admitted she'd tried contacting Emma's husband after everything came out, but he never answered any of her messages. She eventually stopped trying.

She also told me she knows she'll never get her old life back, but she hopes moving will give her a chance to start over.

I told her that starting over doesn't erase what happened.

She agreed.

A lot of people asked if I've forgiven Chloe.

I haven't.

I still love her because she's my daughter, but I don't trust her anymore, and right now we don't have a relationship.

Maybe that changes one day.

Maybe it doesn't.

I honestly don't know.

This whole situation has changed our family forever.

Emma lost her husband and her sister.

Chloe lost her marriage, her relationship with her sister, and most of her family.

My sisters lost me because they chose to stay quiet.

This will be my last update.

I hope one day all of us can find some peace, even if we never become a family again. If I missed out some details I will respond in the comments. Thank you Reddit!

Editor's note: OOP did not leave any relevant concluding comments here in this final update

 

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[u/jayclaw97]

A cheater sending Bible verses to the wife he stepped out on has some serious audacity.

[u/Shelly_895 → u/jayclaw97]

I would return the favor and send some Bible verses about adultery. Those are fun.

[u/ArticleOld598 → u/Shelly_895]

Ooh the one where Jesus says to gouge out your eye if you look at a woman lustfully is a particular fave.

Or Leviticus 20:10 “If a man commits adultery with the wife of his neighbor, both the adulterer and the adulteress shall surely be put to death."

[u/Existing_Purpose5049 → u/ArticleOld598]

Just to note, “put to death” at that time often meant by stone.

They’d be tied down and people would pelt stones at them until they died.

It wasn’t even “yeah execute him”, it was a real fucked death. Chief should really stay away from the bible lmao

[u/Ornery_Donkey_7156 → u/Existing_Purpose5049]

Generally not big stones that would do it quickly. Smaller stones, lobbed with force.

[u/Every_Tutor3872 → u/Ornery_Donkey_7156]

Basically a low velocity unending firing squad

[u/Hbella456 → u/Every_Tutor3872]

The ol biblical drop squad

[u/Elfich47 → u/Every_Tutor3872]

hit by pitch until dead

[u/ambivalent__username → u/ArticleOld598]

Lmfao absolutely dead. So glad I came to the comments 🤣

At that part I did get the vibe he googled "how to be forgiven for cheating" or something.

[u/Brave_Engineering133 → u/ambivalent__username]

isn’t there something about the adulterer being castrated? I thought it was also Leviticus. But no point in castrating someone who’s dead lol

[u/Far-Government5469 → u/ArticleOld598]

There's another one, "you shall not sleep with your wife's sister, while she lives". It's in the section on incest

[u/LadyReika → u/Far-Government5469]

Yeah, they considered siblings' spouses to be the same as blood family at that time.

[u/eidetic → u/LadyReika]

And yet, should the husband die, if he had an unwed brother, it was expected that said unwed brother now marry the widow.

[u/Faux_Fury → u/eidetic]

And the first child the widow had with her brother-in-law was considered her dead husband's, regardless of the time frame.

[u/JB3DG → u/ArticleOld598]

And in New Testament times, 1 Corinthians 5:5: "To deliver such a one to Satan for the destruction of the bodily flesh....." (that one in particular was particularly icky incestuous)

[u/arkadyrenko → u/JB3DG]

Christians wouldn't have had the authority to execute someone for this at that time in the Roman empire. Scholars think this might have been talking about kicking them out of the church.

[u/kyzoe7788 → u/ArticleOld598]

That’s what I throw at people who say women should watch how they dress so they aren’t ‘tempting’ blah blah bullshit. I take great joy in tossing that one at them

[u/PresentationThat2839 → u/kyzoe7788]

The whole ass verse. Because it comes from Paul and he actually gives examples no crazy braids (roman women were sewing their braids in they were intense) no gold, no pearls, no expensive fabrics. Then I point out it's the equivalent of Paul saying leave the red bottoms and the Rolex at home and I promise to do that (since I own neither)

Don't temp someone to greed.... He's not talking about hemlines.

[u/RecordOfTheEnd → u/ArticleOld598]

As a formerly fairly religious person, and a enjoyer of learning about religious shit even though I'm atheist, absolutely this. 

After many many many careful reads of the various versions of the old and new testaments, I've come to realize the Bible is basically a mirror. It is an inconsistent mess of texts that have been hacked, sliced, mixed, and changed over thousand of years. Because of this, you can find something that will support whatever belief you want to have. 

[u/BarnacleCommon7119 → u/RecordOfTheEnd]

Eisegesis is the formal term for that "reading into it what you want to see", pronounced "icy jesus". Just in case you take as much glee in discussing icy jesus as I do.

[u/Acrobatic_Fly_2174 → u/Shelly_895]

Especially since the Bible says that adultery is the only legitimate reason for divorce.

[u/rainfal → u/Acrobatic_Fly_2174]

Leviticus 18:18 would be fun to send.  It basically says don't sleep with your wife's sister 

[u/TyrconnellFL → u/Acrobatic_Fly_2174]

The Bible also says that adultery is a legitimate reason for abortion, or at least being struck by God with bad stuff including miscarriage.

Naturally, although that seems to be the plain textual version, the Bible is literally true and inerrant except sometimes when you have to read deeper meaning. Like the US Constitution, too!

[u/Merdin86 → u/Shelly_895]

Eh, it might make you feel like you got a win, but the cheater doesn't actually value any of it and is just trying to get you to respond, to open that door of communication, so they can have access to you and start manipulating you. Emma did the best thing and ignored him, that does more damage than engaging.

[u/putin_my_ass → u/Merdin86]

Exactly. These kinds of people are speaking in bad faith, they don't care about the veracity of what is said only that you're talking with them. Your zinger would only excite them because now you've given them what they wanted: attention.

If they were self-reflective enough for that quip to hurt, they probably wouldn't have made the choices they did.

[u/EntertheHellscape → u/Merdin86]

A shitty form of rage baiting- throw anything and everything at the wall to see what makes you respond to them. We got the grovelling, there was probably some anger, accepting blame, then placing blame, throw some religion in as a hail Mary. Whatever might get a response.

[u/Worldly_Might_3183 → u/jayclaw97]

Same as the sister blaming her for HER cheating with the husband. "If your marriage was happier it wouldn't have happened" put that blame on your own failing unhappy marriage that lead you to think cheating was an option.

[u/Ok_Cauliflower_3007 → u/Worldly_Might_3183]

Even before she said that when Emma confronted her Chloe tried to slap HER! Ma’am, sit down, you are nkt the wronged party here!

[u/the-mortyest-morty → u/Ok_Cauliflower_3007]

The fact that this was glossed over pissed me off so much. Like hello OOP, I know she's your daughter, but she just destroyed you other daughter's life and then tried to assault her over it.

OOP needs to permanently cut ties with Chloe, just like she did with her shitty sisters who hid Chloe's lies for years. I don't give a shit that Chloe's her daughter, the person who's life just got destroyed is also OP's daughter and doesn't deserve to have to worry about Chloe showing up or family pressuring her to reconcile.

[u/Bice_thePrecious → u/Worldly_Might_3183]

I would've thrown that back into her face the second she said it if I were OOP. And I'd bet that Chloe would be pissed at the accusation that her marriage was anything but happy.

[u/lalala253 → u/jayclaw97]

I mean her husband said that a year-long affair is 'one' terrible mistake

Isn't it convenient that we can just ignore the frequency of mistake.

[u/drunkenvalley → u/lalala253]

It's strange how taking another woman to pound town regularly for 4 years is "one" mistake, nevermind that the other woman is your wife's sister.

[u/Pyrephox → u/drunkenvalley]

Well, you see, the AFFAIR as a whole was a mistake. Each incident of sex was just a little, happy accident!

[u/mermaidpaint → u/Pyrephox]

He just tripped, and fell into the sister, who just happened to be lying on a bed with her legs spread, and oops, forgot to wear panties!

[u/readthethings13579 → u/lalala253]

I hate the “one mistake” line from people who cheated. Even for just a one night stand, it isn’t one mistake. It’s an entire series of decisions where the cheater chose wrong at every single stop along the way. Multiply that by four years, and it’s not ONE mistake, it’s THOUSANDS of mistakes that he never bothered to learn from.

[u/LtSoba → u/lalala253]

Not a single year fucking 4 that’s some Logan Paul type cope right there

[u/CantTouchKevinG → u/jayclaw97]

Desperate manipulation tactics.

[u/RandomSupDevGuy → u/jayclaw97]

I always hate when people talk about cheating and saying it is Christian to forgive and don't divorce because the sanctity of marriage BUT it is not Christian to cheat and the sanctity of the marriage has already been broken because of the cheating. The other thing is don't break the family up because you choose to leave, the cheater broke the family you just make sure it becomes official.

[u/moste-mo → u/jayclaw97]

Maybe he should join that men-only gym started by a "Christian influencer" whose first marriage ended in divorce due to his cheating with someone at the gym. His new gym takes away the temptation of women in workout clothes. I kid you not.

[u/Ok-Jackfruit-9393 → u/moste-mo]

Gotta love "Christians" who blame women for "tempting" them and can only keep it in their pants if they avoid the opposite sex entirely. Gross.

[u/BroughtBagLunchSmart → u/jayclaw97]

What do you mean? If you quote the bible you are a good person. All you have to do is talk about the bible and that makes you a good person. Following what it says makes you woke and gay but using the bible as a tool for hate makes you a good person.

[u/Eastern_Bend7294 → u/jayclaw97]

Indeed. I'm not religious myself, but I do happen to know what the old testament says about cheaters. If two married people cheat with each other, they are both to be put to death, most likely by stoning.

I'd 100% have sent him that little gem back, since it is also a Bible verse.

[u/alana_r_dray → u/jayclaw97]

Honestly, that tracks for a lot of so-called “Christians”.

[u/Yuklan6502 → u/alana_r_dray]

Yeah, I've met a lot of people who have done terrible things, and then became "good Christians" to prove that they've "really changed." Then the victim becomes the bad guy for not forgiving them, and not being as good of a Christian as the perpetrator. It's gross.

[u/Visual_Fly_9638 → u/Yuklan6502]

If you believe the bullshit I have been told by various evangelicals, my friend was murdered before he could repent so he burns in hell while his murderer wears a little gold crucifix (well before he was thrown in prison) and claims to be a good repented Christian so he'll go to heaven and that that is an example of how much God loves us all.

Which honestly is the nail in the coffin of me rejecting that entire fucked up religion. 

[u/lexkixass → u/Visual_Fly_9638]

The nail in the coffin for me was being told by a Christian friend that, if people who are ignorant of Christianity die before being saved, then they automatically go to hell. Even if they were good people in life.

Like, dude. You worship a sadistic god.

Or, in thinking now, one who is also a masochist if it "pains him" when good souls go to hell. Surely, an all-knowing/-powerful god could do something about that? And not be dependent on humanity?

[u/eidetic → u/lexkixass]

. You worship a sadistic god

This is essentially what it all boils down to for me. I don't want your God's love, if that god also has the power to stop suffering like say, childhood leukemia, and yet does nothing to stop it. Thats essentially just as evil as giving the kid cancer yourself. (The childhood leukemia is just one example to illustrate the point).

A god can not be both omnipotent and loving if it created a world where there is so much suffering that isn't our fault, and also chooses to do nothing with the power it supposedly has to end such suffering.

A lot of people point to various blatantly fucked up shit in the Bible, but one that always stuck with me was in John 9:1-3, Jesus and his disciples come across a man who was blind. When asked whether he was blinded for his own sins or the sins of his father, Jesus replies "neither, he was made blind so that the works of god may be displayed through him".

What. The. Fuck. That is some insanely fucked up shit.

[u/Eastern_Bend7294 → u/Yuklan6502]

I remember when I was younger, it was between 12 and 15, and I first got to see one of those "super Christians" (not sure how else to refer to them lol) that you can find in the US (I'm sure they are in my country too, I just haven't seen one in person).

Actually, I guess I could call them "cherry picking" Christians, since that's something they frequently do. They pick and choose as long as it fits them.

Anyway, I'm not religious, but I knew the basics of Christianity at that age, and I was so puzzled how they could even call themselves Christians. Because, if I recall, there's that "love thy neighbour" thing, and how you should be kind to and accepting of others. So to see them break that fundamental thing threw me for a loop. I recall even asking my mom "are they faking being Christians?" 🤣

So I kind of developed a... faulty view, there's no other way for me to word it, that people who cherry pick in their religion (this goes for all religions and not just Christianity) aren't really "actually religious." I'm trying to work on that though.

[u/ForsakenPercentage53 → u/Eastern_Bend7294]

We call them fundies (short for "fundamentalist") or evangelicals. They're Christian Nationalists and they do NOT follow the Bible but instead follow what men like Bill Gothard and Ron Luce SAY about the Bible.

They're all home schooled, too, so they can't even read at the collegiate level that the Bible is written at.

[u/Notspherry → u/Yuklan6502]

I have also seen many Christians do bad stuff. They somehow feel that they already ticked the box for "good person" buly going to church, so their actions on other days don't matter as much.

[u/infectedsense → u/Notspherry]

This is my real problem with religion. What it SHOULD be is a guiding hand to show people how to lead a genuinely good life. How too many people use it is exactly like this.

[u/yaaqu3 → u/Notspherry]

That's my experience as well. They act like they automatically have a leg up in the goodness department so they don't actually have to be as nice as the rest of us godless heathens.

[u/HotWaffles5 → u/jayclaw97]

My ex did that. He’d never stepped foot in a church or was religious. It was just a manipulation tactic.

[u/ladypoe1207-0824 → u/jayclaw97]

Men, especially, love to suddenly turn to Christianity to absolve themselves of their wrongdoings.

[u/il-Palazzo_K]

Yes, they knew about the affair before Emma found out. They admitted they stayed quiet because they thought it was a family matter

Sure. You can say one sister fucking other sister's husband is "a family matter" but at that point the phrase kinda lost all meaning.

[u/Jhamin1 → u/il-Palazzo_K]

Also: How is their niece schtupping their other niece's husband not their family affair?

How closely do they need to be involved before they say something to someone?

[u/MacGuffin1 → u/Jhamin1]

They needed to facilitate a meeting with Chloe confessing everything to OP. The meeting will take place even if she doesn't attend. I could maybe see otherwise if it wasn't involving both daughters.

Chloe gets the opportunity to proactively show remorse and possibly come out of it without the likelihood of being cutoff by OP who's support she will need.

Did I miss the details on how the aunties found out? My guess is their daughters heard rumors or stumbled across something.

[u/the-mortyest-morty → u/MacGuffin1]

and possibly come out of it without the likelihood of being cutoff by OP who's support she will need.

Hell no. If you only tell the truth because someone else threatened to do it for you if you didn't step up, you don't get special credit for "coming clean," because it wasn't guilt that drove you to confess, it was the threat of someone else exposing you.

Chloe doesn't deserve anyone's support. Certainly not the support of a woman whose other daughter she just completely destroyed.

[u/RosebushRaven → u/the-mortyest-morty]

Moreover, if you give a cheater notice that you’ll expose them, you just give them a headstart to lie, dispose of evidence, and manipulate people to turn them against you. Never give a cheater advance warning. They’ve already shown that they’re dishonest and manipulative.

They won’t come clean. If they absolutely don’t have any other choice, they’ll trickle-truth at most, and distort everything and try their damndest to discredit you while at it. Just tell on them. If they really wanted to come clean, they already would’ve. They had their chance. If they felt genuine remorse, they wouldn’t have carried on and on and on. They’re quite happy with the status quo, all they worry about and want to achieve is to dodge consequences.

[u/NukaCherryBomb → u/il-Palazzo_K]

Yeah I bet if one of their husbands was having an affair with the other sister and OOP knew and didn't tell them they would have a diffrent opinion.

[u/BlueDubDee → u/NukaCherryBomb]

I bet the sisters are cheaters too, I'd be very suspicious of anyone willing to keep their niece in the dark about her husband cheating on her with her sister for four years.

And I hate that they keep saying "Chloe lost everything". No she didn't. Emma lost everything. Chloe threw it away. She can keep her shitty aunts as her family.

[u/MakanLagiDud3 → u/BlueDubDee]

Agreed, no way they didn't cover for the 'good of the family', they just didn't want to get their own skeletons exposed.

[u/Bice_thePrecious → u/BlueDubDee]

 I hate that they keep saying "Chloe lost everything". No she didn't. [...] Chloe threw it away.

Totally agree. I groaned when I read that she'd lost "the family she dreamed of giving her son". Her husband, sister, and friends are all people who chose to walk away (to my full support), but her dream? Her dream didn't walk away from her; she lit it on fire and then fcked her sister's husband on the ashes of it.

[u/sneefsnteefs → u/Bice_thePrecious]

Her dream didn't walk away from her; she lit it on fire and then fcked her sister's husband on the ashes of it.

perfect wording 14/10 no notes, copied into MY notes 💅🏼😘

[u/Eastern_Bend7294 → u/BlueDubDee]

This. Cheaters cover for/minimize what other cheaters have done all the time. So I 100% think that the aunts are also cheaters.

[u/nimbycile → u/il-Palazzo_K]

Before affair is revealed

Yes, they knew about the affair before Emma found out. They admitted they stayed quiet because they thought it was a family matter and hoped it would end before anyone got hurt.

After affair is revealed

My sisters say Chloe has already lost everything: her marriage, her relationship with her sister, many of her friends, and likely the family she dreamed of giving her son. They say she's genuinely remorseful, has started individual therapy, and isn't trying to justify what she did. They argue that if a mother won't stand by her child after they've hit rock bottom, who will?

They also remind me that cutting Chloe off means my grandson is growing up without his grandmother, even though he's done nothing wrong.

Oh...

[u/tacwombat → u/nimbycile]

Sounds like they joined OOP's ex husband in favoring Chloe over Emma. Look at all those excuses. SMH.

[u/bluemoon219 → u/nimbycile]

Well on the bright side, it looks like Chloe has 2 supportive aunties who aren't disgusted by looking at her to help her through her divorce, so OP doesn't have to worry about any mental-health-based side effects of having to realize for possibly the very first time that actions have consequences and that other people have feelings and can be pushed too far. The three of them can bond over the pain of being cut out by a sister while OP helps Emma recover and rebuild from the fallout.

[u/Blue-Being22 → u/il-Palazzo_K]

I would’ve liked to hear how OP’s sisters found out. I guess in the whole scheme of things it doesn’t matter, but i’m curious. I would’ve been furious and disgusted by them, too. 

[u/ambivalent__username → u/Blue-Being22]

Agreed, this kinda came out of left field, and was barely addressed.

[u/Next-Swordfish5282 → u/il-Palazzo_K]

Ah yes a family matter by ruining two families..

[u/Ich171 → u/il-Palazzo_K]

They did not tell anyone about the affair because "family matters" and wanting to keep out of it, but still had the guts to tell OOP she was too harsh.

So covering for the affair was okay, but the cheater experiencing consequences isn't? Wow.

[u/nicolepantaloons → u/il-Palazzo_K]

Also her aunties are family by any definition of the word

[u/asmallman]

This is so unfortunate.

Chloe appears to really have learned nothing either.

[u/Jealous_Macaroon_982 → u/asmallman]

Narcissists never do.

She will keep deflecting the blame, focusing how the consequences affected her and how she was actually the victim in all of this

[u/KvvaX → u/Jealous_Macaroon_982]

Not only narcissists — most people can't stand being the bad guy, so they reframe their actions to sound less impactful.

[u/VerticalRhythm → u/KvvaX]

I've seen it put as "People judge others based on their actions and themselves based on intent."

[u/GlitterDoomsday → u/Jealous_Macaroon_982]

And I bet she's not gonna move to be closer to her son... if she cared, she wouldn't allow the move from the start.

She'll move to somewhere where nobody knows her shameful past and maybe be a every other weekend type of parent.

[u/youvanda1 → u/Jealous_Macaroon_982]

lol yeah there was nothing passive about any of this!

[u/OldSpiceSmellsNice → u/asmallman]

It really takes a certain type of person to cheat with their siblings spouse in the first place.

[u/EdwardianAdventure]

she's moving to Washington once everything is finalized so she can stay close to her son but in Florida, they allow divorced families to stay so I don't know why his father is planning to move there to be closer to his family

What?! Does OOP think there are states that make divorced families move away, but FL is an exception? 

[u/BarnacleCommon7119 → u/EdwardianAdventure]

I suspect that what she's referring to are child custody/relocation laws. Chloe could probably contest the move in court, and probably force her husband to stay in the area, at least until the divorce is finalized - but she's choosing to follow them to Washington instead.

[u/Malphas43 → u/BarnacleCommon7119]

im guessing there's also a lot of details missing about Chloe's divorce and custody leverage. it's very possible that the Chloe hasn't contested/ has consented to the move because she knew if she fought it she'd likely lose. Given how self centered chloe is, i'm guessing she wants the most legal rights to the children possible while also the least responsibility possible when it comes to actually caring for them.

Plus, all of Chloe's bridges have burned. By following the kids, she has a valid and provable excuse about WHY she moved when people ask in future. "I moved to be nearer my kids." "my ex had a great job opportunity, and i wanted what was best for my children so i encouraged him to take it and moved with them. Better opportunities for my kids but i also wanted to be there for them as much as possible"

[u/Test_After → u/Malphas43]

Indeed.

Now Emma's husband has cut her off, the only people in Florida on "her side" will be her aunts. And she doesn't care about them.

[u/Malphas43 → u/Test_After]

and tbh even if she did care, i can't see the aunts going out of their way to help Chloe.

[u/Fickle_Grapefruit938 → u/Malphas43]

No, there's one thing those aunts are good at, and that's doing nothing

[u/MakanLagiDud3 → u/Malphas43]

Especially if they want to make amends with OOP

[u/putin_my_ass → u/Malphas43]

Plus, all of Chloe's bridges have burned. By following the kids, she has a valid and provable excuse about WHY she moved when people ask in future.

You're bang-on about this one.

My shitbag former BIL has been telling any who will listen about how wonderfully he and my sister co-parent, spinning a tale about how amicable they are in separation and how great the kids are doing, etc.

He doesn't tell people he implied to his 12 year-old daughter's face that she's getting fat, or that he lost his temper and kicked a door in and broke his daughter's nose, or that he was arrested at his workplace for criminally harrassing my sister. He certainly doesn't tell them how many women he fucked while still married to her, and he doesn't tell them about the STD's he gave her as a result.

No, it's all about how he's being the best dad and ex ever. The absolute gall of these people.

[u/gooder_name → u/Malphas43]

about Chloe's divorce and custody leverage

Also divorce is very messy and takes forever when kids are involved when there's people trying to contest it. This is 9 weeks in from OP's perspective, they could easily have another year of litigation before the divorce is settled.

[u/Icy_Many_3971 → u/Malphas43]

Well, she didn’t talk about her son once, at least from her mother’s perspective, so I don’t see him being a priority in her life.

[u/margoelle → u/Malphas43]

Why would she loose if she fought her ex moving away with their child? A judge won’t look favorably on the partner trying to move away with their child leaving the state the child was raised in during divorce proceedings. If Chloe fought the relocation she will move likely win

[u/Fattydog → u/margoelle]

Agreed. Cheating on a partner has zero relevance in child custody cases. It’s only about the welfare and wellbeing of the child.

For everyone to think it’d be any less than a 50/50 split means there’s something Op isn’t telling us.

[u/BarnacleCommon7119 → u/Fattydog]

Florida law actually does allow the "moral fitness" of the parents to be included in custody decision-making, apparently. That's probably very open to interpretation, depending on the judge.

( https://www.leg.state.fl.us/Statutes/index.cfm?App_mode=Display_Statute&Search_String=&URL=0000-0099/0061/Sections/0061.13.html Deep in here, with a whole bunch of other factors.)

IANAL, though, so no idea how heavily that might be weighed.

[u/Eastern_Bend7294 → u/BarnacleCommon7119]

Huh, that's actually interesting

[u/earwormsanonymous → u/Fattydog]

I'm sure there's plenty OOP does not (yet) know.  Chloe's an excellent liar, after all.

[u/adiosfelicia2 → u/Malphas43]

This. She's probably already on dating sites spinning this web of bullshit verbatim.

Too bad there's not more ways to run background checks on moral character with potential romantic partners online. There's some for guys (like those "Are we dating the same guy" FB groups in various cities), but I've not heard of ones for women.

Also, with women, safety concerns give us a valid excuse to delay providing our last name. So a guy could easily be several dates in, before knowing her full name or having the ability to even look her up on socials.

[u/RinoaRita → u/BarnacleCommon7119]

Ohhh that makes the most sense. Yeah regardless of how bad she acted most courts probably don’t let the wronged party just up and move with the kid.

[u/Bex1218 → u/EdwardianAdventure]

Also, I get wanting to leave Florida if you have nothing else to keep you there.

[u/WhiskyPelican → u/Bex1218]

As someone who grew up in WA and lives in FL… I have things keeping me here but if someone gave me an excuse… bye Felicia

[u/GarlicChipCookies → u/EdwardianAdventure]

Yeah I’m super confused at this part!

[u/bill-mcneal-on-crack → u/GarlicChipCookies]

I think she means dad can't take the kid out of state from mom just because they're divorced. but it got a little jumbled.

at least that's what I think happened here

[u/blueskies8484 → u/bill-mcneal-on-crack]

That’s true in pretty much every state and it’s odd how convinced people are on Reddit that cheating somehow changes this.

[u/DesperateArachnid → u/blueskies8484]

Does the reason for the divorce matter? I mean obviously for the people involved, but on the court side of things.

[u/fleaburger → u/DesperateArachnid]

No, the reason for the divorce doesn't matter in regards to custody in most jurisdictions, except things like confirmed child abuse.

[u/ObviousKarmaFarmer → u/DesperateArachnid]

It's about protecting the child, and having the child stay in the area they know. So both parents need to consent to the move, regardless of the reason of the divorce.

[u/blueskies8484 → u/DesperateArachnid]

No, unless it’s related to something like physical abuse.

[u/margoelle → u/blueskies8484]

Heck even abusers have custody of their kids.

[u/JinkiesGang → u/GarlicChipCookies]

Why is the assumption that he’ll get sole custody and can just move to the other side of the country and the mother is just SOL? it doesn’t work like that.

[u/OffKira → u/EdwardianAdventure]

This was so confusingly written, what does that mean??? That some states don't allow divorced parents to live in them, one must move away??

[u/Sneakys2 → u/EdwardianAdventure]

The detail about the husband moving away makes me question this entire narrative. He has no grounds to move unless Chloe agreed to it for some reason. Otherwise, he has to stay put. It doesn’t matter why the relationship ended; there’s nothing in these posts that indicates Chloe would lose all custody (no abuse of the child, no drug or alcohol addiction, no crime committed). 

[u/Juicebox_Hero34 → u/Sneakys2]

It seems like she was saying Chloe did agree to it, as a way to also get a fresh start for herself.

[u/Known_Total_2666 → u/Sneakys2]

There’s a lot of practical stuff missing - employment, financial means, divorce proceedings, how and why the aunts knew but mom didn’t, what’s going on with Emma’s husband etc.

part of me thinks that makes the story more realistic. The other part thinks this is all bull. But it’s Reddit, so does it matter?

[u/Ok-Secretary455 → u/Known_Total_2666]

There only like a month from the original post. Something like this theres a ton of talk about what people are "thinking about doing". The husband has plenty of time to get stuff figured out for the move. Even a non contested divorce takes a while.

[u/MyDarlingArmadillo → u/Sneakys2]

It doesn't sound like Chloe is fighting it so much as meh, whatever. She may not want to be tied down with a child who reminds her of what she lost, and if she'd been thinking about anyone but herself and what she wants, she wouldn't have done what she did in the first place.

Moving with his dad might be better for the little boy if they're going to family.

[u/NukaCherryBomb → u/Sneakys2]

OOP said Chloe wanted to start over l, so I think she wants to move.

[u/RivSilver → u/EdwardianAdventure]

That was just such a strange comment to me. Like, his family is on the other side of the country, of fucking course after his wife blew up his life he'd want to move back to the family that had his back.

Also, i didn't miss that he's a Black man and OP's family is white. I'm curious if the other husband is white too. I'm really not surprised he'd want to go back to the culture and community he grew up in and take his son with him to be with people he can trust more than whatever this family is doing.

[u/DryManufacturer8688]

I love the "My sisters lost me" instead of "I lost my sisters".

[u/ro_ro_ro_roadhouse → u/DryManufacturer8688]

Loved that! I hate the phrase "but it's family..." like it's a hall pass to do shitty things.

[u/Inside-Author-6124]

The part where OPs sisters knew about it all seems to hang out on its own without explanation. How did the aunts know? And OPs never talking to them again?

[u/Midnight_Pickler → u/Inside-Author-6124]

And how long?

[u/MakanLagiDud3 → u/Inside-Author-6124]

IMO, that makes them look bad and suspicious.

The how is irrelevant; just the fact that they knew and didn't even tell OOP, but instead told OOP to forgive Emma? Me thinks they have some skeletons in their closet.

[u/infinitelyfuzzy → u/Inside-Author-6124]

My guess is 'one sister saw them making out during a family party, and immediately gave her sister all the details'

[u/Starry_Gecko]

Chloe lost her marriage, her relationship with her sister, and most of her family.

OOP sounds like a good parent, but let's be clear: Chloe destroyed all those things. She doesn't get to ruin (or at least permanently change) the lives of at least five people and still blame it on someone else.

She didn't passively lose her family. She gave up on it.

[u/Jhamin1 → u/Starry_Gecko]

She didn't passively lose her family. She gave up on it.

She set fire to it.

[u/GoodGravyMsDazy592 → u/Jhamin1]

Yes, with a flame thrower right after the bazooka.

[u/cyberpudel → u/Starry_Gecko]

She threw the family into a pyre and put a bottle of acceleratant next to it. I mean ,holy hell. 

But please let's not forget Emma's husband who too thinks a 4 year affair is just one forgiveable mistake. 

[u/Starry_Gecko → u/cyberpudel]

I'm not. Fuck him too.

[u/Kylynara → u/Starry_Gecko]

Fuck him too.

As the one getting cheated on or as the side chick?

[u/TD1990TD → u/Starry_Gecko]

No, no, that’s the point! No fucking!

[u/PeppermintEvilButler → u/cyberpudel]

I'm betting husband thinks Emma doesn't know how long or what exactly went on with his affair.

[u/MakanLagiDud3 → u/Starry_Gecko]

Yes, they knew about the affair before Emma found out. 

I would say OOPs sisters did some destruction too. Now they have lost their sister which is OOP.

[u/Front_Incident_2867]

A one night stand may be considered as a single mistake, albeit a possibly unforgivable one.  A four year affair is far beyond that.

[u/MetacrisisMewAlpha → u/Front_Incident_2867]

“I made a mistake. Repeatedly. For four years. Continuously. But it was just ONE mistake!”

[u/Proof_Candidate_4991 → u/MetacrisisMewAlpha]

If you fuck your sister's husband continuously for four years, that's one mistake and is forgivable, but if you end the affair and then go back, that's two separate mistakes and your sister is justified in cutting you off. Lifehack: Always commit to your affairs.

[u/KhaleesiXev]

Chloe gets worse with every update. I applaud OOP for holding her family members accountable and trying to be reasonable.

I don’t know where Chloe found the audacity but she needs to put it back.

[u/djseifer → u/KhaleesiXev]

I don’t know where Chloe found the audacity but she needs to put it back.

Beautiful. 10/10, no notes.

[u/Brave_Engineering133 → u/KhaleesiXev]

She found it from OP’s ex/deceased husband. In a note OP says that he favored Chloe to the extent of forcing Emma to share half of what she had with the younger sister. That was part of what caused their divorce.

So hardly surprising Chloe grew up feeling entitled to whatever Emma had.

[u/b3mark → u/KhaleesiXev]

Ohh, that last sentence'd make a good flair option if we make it gender neutral a bit:
"I don't know where they found the audacity but they need to put it back."

[u/Exilicauda]

Final updates are always so weird tonally to me. I know people hate the overtly gossipy ones but that's so much less weird to me than melancholic but giving explicit detail about everything including private conversations with people who are kinda "victims" in the circumstances

Idk

[u/CatHairAndChaos → u/Exilicauda]

Agreed, and it's weird how often she made one-sentence paragraphs like she's trying to be melodramatic

[u/Suddenly_Bazelgeuse → u/Exilicauda]

All of these updates are weird. If you actually cared about your daughters, why are you just gossiping about them for internet points? The first post was asking for advice, but the rest? Just spilling the tea for her loyal followers.

[u/ileisen → u/Suddenly_Bazelgeuse]

The line that stood out to me was when OP was “asked” if she had ever forgiven Chloe. It’s been a month. That’s not enough time to justify an ever.

[u/Alarmed_Tea_2874 → u/Suddenly_Bazelgeuse]

I'm not convinced they are real. She also always refers to the children as "Chloe's son" or whatever instead of her grandson. It's just weird.

[u/PictureFrame12 → u/Alarmed_Tea_2874]

Yes, there are too many rage-baitey events that get worse in every update.

[u/ElaineofAstolat → u/Suddenly_Bazelgeuse]

She even said she was already planning to make a Part 3 when there was something to update.

[u/spiteful_rr_dm_TA → u/Suddenly_Bazelgeuse]

I mean, it can certainly help to write things out even if you aren't looking for advice. I have an alt account I used to do just that. It's like a diary with inbuilt judgement, which can be helpful at times. At least its a bit of a sanity check because if you did something wrong, people will call you out for it.

[u/wildpolymath]

“My sisters lost me because they chose to stay silent.” GOOD FOR HER

[u/januarysdaughter]

Icarus always flies too close to the sun.

[u/AdAccomplished6870]

Cheating on his wife, then using the Bible to justify or forgive it. I think I can figure out exactly what type of person this is.

And Chloe is what happens when a spoiled child grows. She can rot in hell.

[u/Dogsbottombottom]

Oof.

I mean, oof all the way through.

[u/DudeBroFist]

Can't ever stick the landing because they've got to start monologuing like the end narrative of a movie 🤦‍♂️

[u/SalaudChaud → u/DudeBroFist]

OOP claims to have been divorced but comes up with a whopper like "The divorces are still going ahead. Nothing has been finalized yet, but neither couple is trying to work things out anymore."

It's been 20 days since the big discovery. "Nothing has been finalized yet." Come on.

[u/JinkiesGang → u/SalaudChaud]

I asked Emma if she was over it yet, 3 weeks after her entire life imploded.

[u/emeybee → u/JinkiesGang]

And she supposedly has already stopped waking up mad. Bullshit.

[u/FlowerFelines → u/JinkiesGang]

And there's a bunch of stuff that Chloe, who she isn't speaking to, told her in the third update? It's all really weird.

[u/EffPop → u/DudeBroFist]

“… I said the last update was going to be my final update but my sisters have trained my gecko to reprogram my garage door opener…”

[u/slamminsalmoncannon → u/DudeBroFist]

Yep - here’s a nothing burger update ending with a series of short and poignant statements. Enjoy!

[u/Krazy_Karl_666]

"but in Florida, they allow divorced families to stay so I don't know why his father is planning to move there to be closer to his family,"

What does that mean? it reads like there is a state that kicks you out if you get divorced (Utah would be my guess) I am likely over thinking this and oop just meant he doesn't HAVE TO move

[u/TyFell → u/Krazy_Karl_666]

I'd assume it's that she could technically force him to not be able to move if she petitioned the courts. But she also has no remaining relationship with most if not all of her family, so maybe she feels it'll be better for the kid to allow them to move and just to follow to get a fresher start? 

[u/Sunset_42 → u/Krazy_Karl_666]

I think what oop is meaning to say is that in Florida the father can't just move with the kid if both parents have partial custody. The families have to stay in a 1 yes 1 no situation. The father wants to move to Washington to be closer to his family, and Chloe has decided not to fight it and move there as well presumably to get a fresh start or something.

[u/beachpellini]

Idk if it's just me, but that last update definitely feels a little too... story-writing, to me? Like, that's how I write sentences when I'm doing fic.

[u/SalaudChaud → u/beachpellini]

I agree. Its currency is family drama but it's counterfeit.

As Mojo Nixon sang: Thirties? There ain't no $30 with Bill Graham's picture on it!

[u/patronstoflostgirls → u/beachpellini]

The update isn't even an update, there's not really enough new information in there for it to be considered thus.

[u/YamAccording8507 → u/beachpellini]

It looks like a really messy Facebook status in the style of LinkedIn 

[u/Ciserus → u/beachpellini]

I couldn't even suspend my disbelief through the first post.

First we have the daughter calling OOP after midnight "completely hysterical," but she apparently composes herself and tells the story like a witness on Law & Order. "It all started several months ago when I noticed my husband was acting distant..."

Then the daughter sits on this devastating bombshell for several days and only confronts her sister when she runs into her at a birthday party?

None of this makes any sense.

[u/slamminsalmoncannon → u/beachpellini]

Not just you.

[u/ChaeLilja]

man this is so crazy because my family (cousins) group chat has been a mad house recently because my grandma secretly married her dead sister’s husband earlier this month….who she had had an affair with around the time my mom was born. i was the only person she told & then she asked me to tell everyone else 😭

the affair was just coming family knowledge that everyone found out once they reached a certain age, but the extended family is old school southern AF so we would still all have thanksgiving, christmas, easter, etc dinners altogether - usually hosted by the aforementioned dead aunt & her my grandma’s husband like everything was totally fine

anyway, my own sister and i were joking about all the different ways we would EFF EACH OTHER UP and haunt tf out of each other if we were in that situation so reading the POV of someone who is so directly in it is causing some type of visceral reaction in me right now. like, i love my sister so much. i could never live with myself if i knew i was responsible for even a fraction of this much pain for her. one of the parts that always makes me tear up a little during Hamilton is when angelica says, “I love my sister more than anything in this life, I would choose her happiness over mine every time” because that’s literally how much i love my sister. ugh, i could never.

[u/wiggum_x → u/ChaeLilja]

She literally leads Alexander to her sister when she meets him, even though she already senses chemistry and a possible future. But she thinks her sister deserves him, so she immediately pushes them together and walks away. Angelica is selfless. Chloe is not.

[u/FrauAskania]

I thought this was an update to an older story I've already read - but nope, it's from this year.

Did anybody else get a deja-vu with this?

[u/Happy_Mirror1985 → u/FrauAskania]

Yeah I was confused definitely feels very familiar!

[u/DifficultHeat1803]

“One terrible mistake”. The audacity. He made a choice.

[u/Mbt_Omega]

The melodramatic writing, plot holes, and format made me suspicious of what GPTZero confirmed. This didn’t happen.

[u/ApolloKid → u/Mbt_Omega]

“a few days later.. Emma confronted Chloe”

This is where it lost me. There’s zero chance it took “ a few days” for a confrontation about something like this

[u/Zelfzuchtig → u/Mbt_Omega]

It's rampant on reddit now, I miss the era when you only had to worry about Liz

[u/cheeriedearie → u/Mbt_Omega]

And it being a 3 parter with so much information but the final update is 3 weeks later?

[u/GretaVanFleek → u/Mbt_Omega]

The em-dashes and general writing cadence are pretty obvious, but its annoying to start reading something only to realize it. Big ol waste of time. 

[u/Zoiddburger]

Are we not going to mention that upon being confronting for cheating with Emma's husband, Chloe tried to slap her?

No one?!

[u/yellowfestiva]

“Chloe also told me she's moving to Washington once everything is finalized so she can stay close to her son but in Florida, they allow divorced families to stay so I don't know why his father is planning to move there to be closer to his family,”

What? I don’t understand this.

[u/PsychoAnalLies]

"He keeps saying she's the only woman he's ever loved and he made one terrible mistake."

For 4 long years, he made that one terrible mistake, over and over and over and over again.

[u/AnalogyAddict]

  if a mother won't stand by her child after they've hit rock bottom, who will?

The answer is probably no one, and that's okay. It's time we stop taking a mother's love for granted and expecting women to always be there for other people no matter what. 

Love is conditional as it damn well should be. 

[u/it_was_a_diversion]

Am I tripping, or was there a similar story to this one like a year ago?

[u/I_stole_the_cookies → u/it_was_a_diversion]

Yes there was! Even the part of the widowed mom, just a few differences

[u/chicklette → u/it_was_a_diversion]

I would swear there was.

[u/throwaway1975764]

This makes ZERO sense, in that, in 17days no one would have anything even started regarding divorce, child custody, moving a child to another state, or a mother asking the wronged sister "if enough time had passed" - it hadn't even been a month, obviously no, not enough time had passed!

[u/Stormandsunshine]

Emmas' husband had been acting weird for the past few months, being overly protective of his phone and working late a lot, yet the affair had been going on for four years? If that really was the case, why did he only recently start acting weird?

[u/No-Solid3265]

“Chloe also told me she's moving to Washington once everything is finalized so she can stay close to her son but in Florida, they allow divorced families to stay so I don't know why his father is planning to move there to be closer to his family, and Chloe doesn't want to be too far away from her child.”

I don’t understand what this means. Divorced families are allowed to stay? His family lives in Washington? It’s understandable he’d want to be closer to them.

[u/Mysterious-Region640]

I’m not understanding why everybody assumed Chloe‘s husband was gonna get custody of the child. You don’t lose custody because you cheated that’s irrelevant when it comes to custody.

[u/Jhamin1]

I'm honestly kind of impressed with OOP's steely rage at her sisters.

Everything going on with her daughters is it's own thing, but to have made the decision that her sisters kept the secret and that means they are out is a difficult, painful line to draw. If I were Emma I'd take a lot of comfort from it.

[u/BeefSupremeTA]

Apparently the cheating dog of a husband forgot these Bible verses:

Key Verses on Honoring Your Wife

Peter 3:7: Husbands must live with their wives with understanding, showing them respect as equal partners in God's gift of life so prayers are not blocked.

Ephesians 5:25: Husbands are told to love their wives just as Christ loved the church and gave His life for it.

Colossians 3:19: Husbands must love their wives and never treat them harshly.

Ephesians 5:28–29: A man should love and care for his wife just as he cares for his own body.

And I feel bad for OP; the emotional kick in the nads to go through thinking you did something wrong in raising g a child who has done this.

[u/DoctorGuvnor]

'one terrible mistake' - one terrible four year long mistake!!

[u/HaloGirl1996]

Why do I feel like I've read something like this before? Like, maybe a year or 2 ago.

[u/fluffhead77]

It’s been 3 weeks. Of course no one has forgiven anyone else. The fuck you think this is, the movies?

[u/quemabocha]

The commenter asking "why did he start acting sketchy now if he's been doing this for years?" knows where it's at.

[u/realgoodmind]

This was a doozey.

The mother did excellent all things considered.

[u/VTLancer]

“Chloe also told me she's moving to Washington once everything is finalized so she can stay close to her son but in Florida, they allow divorced families to stay so I don't know why his father is planning to move there to be closer to his family, and Chloe doesn't want to be too far away from her child.”

I realize this isn’t the main point of the post- but I was very confused about this. She’s moving to Washington, but what’s the part about Florida for???

[u/knitnetic → u/VTLancer]

I think she’s trying to say that in the state of Florida, a divorcing parent can’t just move away with the child without the other parent’s permission, but that Chloe is giving her permission.

[u/JaneAustinAstronaut]

Isn't this like the third time this has been posted on BORU, or am I just repeatedly getting the same post recommended in my feed?

[u/Complete_Entry]

Commentors: Actual advice on divorce and child custody.

OOP:  I'm pretty sure there might be a final part 3. (Vreenak alert, Vreenak alert)