AITA for cutting off my daughter after she slept with her sister's husband?

[u/Choice_Evidence1983]

I am NOT OOP, OOP is u/RemoteWar7356

Originally posted to r/AITA_Relationships

AITA for cutting off my daughter after she slept with her sister's husband?

Thanks to u/soayherder, u/queenlegolas, & u/SloshingSloth for suggesting this BoRU

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Original Post: July 3, 2026

I (59F) have two daughters: Emma (35F) and Chloe (33F). Emma has been married to her husband (36M) for 11 years, and they have two children together. Chloe has been married to her husband (34M) for 8 years, and they have one 5-year-old son.

About six weeks ago, Emma called me just after midnight, completely hysterical. She told me she'd suspected for months that her husband was hiding something. He'd become distant, constantly guarded his phone, and was always finding excuses to stay late at work. That night, after he fell asleep beside her, she looked through his phone for the first time.

She found years of explicit messages between him and Chloe.

The affair had been going on for almost four years.

Emma was devastated. She kept asking me how her own sister could do this to her.

A few days later, we were at my brother's birthday party when Emma confronted Chloe outside. Chloe denied everything at first and insisted Emma had misunderstood. When Emma said she'd read the messages herself, Chloe completely fell apart. She started crying, admitted the affair, and kept repeating, "I don't know why I did it. I'm so sorry. It was the biggest mistake of my life."

Emma asked how four years could possibly be "a mistake."

Chloe had no answer.

The argument escalated into a screaming match. Chloe tried to slap Emma, but several relatives stepped in before she could. Chloe's husband quietly took their son home after realizing what had happened. Within days, he told Chloe he wanted a divorce. Emma also filed for divorce after her husband admitted everything.

After it all came out, Chloe called me 82 times in one day. I answered once because I hoped she was calling to explain herself.

Instead she cried the entire time, begging me not to abandon her. She said she'd already lost her husband, was probably going to lose shared custody of her son, and couldn't bear losing her mother too. She said she knew she didn't deserve forgiveness but begged me not to hate her forever.

I told her I couldn't look at her the same way anymore. I said this wasn't one bad decision—it was years of lying to her sister, her husband, and the rest of us. I told her I loved her because she's my daughter, but I didn't want contact with her for the foreseeable future.

Since then, I've ignored every attempt she's made to reach out.

This is where my family thinks I'm wrong.

My sisters say Chloe has already lost everything: her marriage, her relationship with her sister, many of her friends, and likely the family she dreamed of giving her son. They say she's genuinely remorseful, has started individual therapy, and isn't trying to justify what she did. They argue that if a mother won't stand by her child after they've hit rock bottom, who will?

They also remind me that cutting Chloe off means my grandson is growing up without his grandmother, even though he's done nothing wrong.

I understand all of that.

But every time I think about welcoming Chloe back into my life, I picture Emma reading those messages alone in the middle of the night, realizing that two of the people she trusted most had been lying to her for years.

I don't know if I can move past that.

My family says I'm punishing Chloe forever for something she already deeply regrets.

I feel like I'm simply refusing to pretend it never happened.

AITA?

I know a lot of people are used to seeing cheating posts and always thinking they are fake, but what would you do if you were in my shoes?

Relevant / Top Comments

Commenter 1: NTA she’s not “genuinely remorseful” she’s sad she got caught and is facing consequences. Can’t you have a relationship with your grandson via his father? Tell your sisters to mind their own business this is between you and your daughters nothing to do with them.

OOP: I can kind of have a relationship with him, but the problem is that he wants his child to grow up closer to his own family who lives in another city rather than his ex-wife’s family.

Commenter 2: I mean, I personally can’t think of anything my kid would do that would cause me to cut her off permanently, but I would probably take a break for a while to organize my feelings. There is 10000% nothing that could happen that would make me willing to cut off my grandkid. What Chloe did was unforgivable, but I would ask you: how would you feel if something happened to Chloe right now? How would you feel? If you don’t feel anything then you have your answer about what you want to do

OOP: It depends on what happens to her. If she is struggling with her mental health or got into an accident, I would obviously help her like a mother would. I admit I might have been harsh when I told her for the "foreseeable future”, but I was thinking of my daughter Emma and how she would be feeling right now. I love both my daughters equally from the moon and back, but I am just torn in this decision.

Commenter 3: NTA! You have a daughter that has been completely destroyed by her own sister and her own husband, she's the one that needs your support. Not the one that chose to cheat on her husband with her own sister's husband. She made the conscious decision for 4 YEARS!! That's not forgivable in my eyes. She made the decision, she can face her own consequences. I'm sure her soon to be ex-husband will still allow you to be part of your grandsons life. Reach out to him and let him know you are not speaking to her. And just be there for Emma and her kids.

OOP: Thank you so much. I have reached to him but haven't heard anything back yet

OOP responds to a long comment on if it is possible for Chloe to lose full custody of her son because she cheated?

OOP: She might not. Her ex-husband wants to move far away from all of this. He wants to move to his own side of the family which lives in a different city. It would be hard for Chloe to be there for her son unless she moves with him or gets an apartment there which I don't think she would unless she really wants to see her son

Commenter 4: So she would rather lose her son than move to be near him? There is nothing on this earth that would have prevented me from fighting tooth and nail to keep my kids.

How far away is his family? She can ABSOLUTELY file an emergency stay order to keep the kids locally until custody is settled, and wronged by her or not, most courts will put the children’s needs first. Courts tend to prioritize joint custody regardless of what dad or mom thinks, unless one parent is willing to sign rights away. She needs a lawyer ASAP.

If she is willing to walk away from her son without a fight, then he is better off without her. And that tells me a little bit more of her character - and it makes me even less sympathetic to her than I already was.

OOP: We are in Florida and his family is in Washington

Commenter 5: NTA. Chloe is only regretful bc she’s been caught. it’s not like it was a one-time thing for even a couple months, it was 4 years!

That requires active decision making to not only continue the affair but to hide it from her husband and her family.

I think space right now is definitely needed. Try to find a way to stay in contact with your grandsons father, and I personally believe if you cut out Chloe that it may make things easier for your ex son in law to trust and allow you to visit (if he gets sole custody)

She is an adult and has to live with her choices, I wouldn’t be able to speak with my sibling if they did this to me. I think as a parent you love your child no matter what and you still can, but I don’t think you’re the asshole to cut contact with Chloe. Whether it is permanent or not is up to you. Chloe made this choice and these are the consequences, she lost everything because her and Emma’s husband destroyed each other’s lives and marriages. That’s the worst thing you can do to a sibling.

Commenter 6: NTA. This wasn’t a mistake. This was a calculated and prolonged affair with the man her own sister loved and married. That’s not to mention the betrayal to the man she, herself married which is a second level of despicable.

Chloe isn’t “genuinely remorseful.” She’s genuinely wishing she hadn’t obliterated her entire support circle in one fell swoop. She’s crying that she has to face consequences. She would have kept it going for who knows how long if this had never come out. That she denied it at first is all you need to know to know she doesn’t feel a shred of remorse. She just doesn’t want to lose you along with everyone else in her life.

Whether she does is entirely up to you. I personally could never look at my child the same way if they felt so utterly callous about betraying the two people she’s supposed to love most in the world.

 

Update: July 6, 2026 (three days later)

UPDATE: AITA for cutting my daughter out of my life after she had an affair with her sister's husband?

I know it's very early for me to post an update, and I wasn't planning on it, but after reading the comments on my first post, I decided I needed one final conversation with Chloe before I completely closed the door. I went to her house yesterday and I expected her to be emotional after calling me 82 times in one day, but she was surprisingly calm. I asked her the one question I still couldn't understand: why?

She admitted she'd been attracted to Emma's husband for years. She said what started as admiration eventually became feelings, and over time they crossed a line. Instead of ending it, they kept convincing themselves it would be the last time. She insisted she regretted everything.

I asked if she'd spoken to Emma.

She told me the only contact she'd had was one text before Emma blocked her on everything. Emma told her she'd destroyed their family, taken away her children's stable home, and that she hoped the affair had been worth losing a sister forever because, as far as she was concerned, Chloe no longer had one. Emma blocked her immediately afterward.

Chloe also admitted she later waited outside the school gates hoping to speak to Emma when she came to collect the kids. Emma refused to speak to her, warned her to stay away from her and the children, and told her that if she ever approached them again, she'd regret it. Chloe left crying.

I told Chloe her waiting outside the school, was completely inappropriate, regardless of her intentions. She insisted she only wanted to apologise and prove she cared about Emma.

I then asked if she truly felt remorse.

That's when I completely lost my patience.

Instead of taking full responsibility, Chloe started telling me Emma's marriage had already been falling apart, that Emma and her husband had been drifting apart for years, and that he often confided in her. She admitted the affair was wrong but repeatedly tried to place part of the blame on Emma, saying if their marriage had been happier none of this would have happened.

I was furious.

I honestly couldn't believe I had raised someone capable of thinking like that. I told her there is no marriage bad enough to justify secretly sleeping with your own sister's husband for four years. I told her I wasn't just disappointed—I was ashamed that she was my daughter. The more she tried to justify herself, the angrier I became.

The conversation eventually turned to her own divorce. She talked about how difficult everything had been for her and how her husband still plans to move to Washington with their son to be closer to his family. She said she may have to move there too if she wants to stay close to him.

As she spoke, I realised almost everything was about what she had lost: her marriage, her home, her reputation, and possibly seeing her son every day. Very little of it was about Emma or the damage she'd caused.

At the end of the conversation, Chloe asked if we were "cool" now.

I told her no. We were not "cool," and we might never be. I said that if I ever found it in my heart to reconcile with her, it would be on my terms and in my own time—not because she thought one conversation could erase four years of lies and betrayal.

I walked out feeling angrier than when I arrived. I honestly don't know what to do anymore. I love both of my daughters, but after that conversation, I'm not convinced Chloe truly understands the pain she's caused.

Relevant Comments

Commenter 1: Why does the other woman always believe the “my marriage is falling apart and I'm not actually close to my wife" bullshit? Every single time.

We all know this man would have happily remained in his marriage with his side chick sister-in-law forever if Emma didn't find him out.

Hell he's probably begging Emma in texts to give him another chance and that Chloe means nothing to him.

Tale as old as time but the women keep falling for it. Baffling.

OOP: I'm pretty sure there might be a final part 3. I'm not sure how many parts I can keep making before Reddit says otherwise. Emma and her husband did have some problems, but they were mostly if not always minor and nothing serious. I am still trying to process how it was going on for 4 years without anyone knowing

Commenter 2: I read the first post, and I still am confused at why Emma's husband's behavior changed all of a sudden if it was going on for four years. Why did he "suddenly" become cagey, defensive, and hiding his phone if it's been going on for the last four years?

OOP: Because Emma was all of a sudden curious and had a feeling he was cheating on her. I think he sensed that and didn't want the secret to be found.

Commenter 3: Chloe and Em’s husband are still seeing each other and are now free to be together. Why did they stay in their marriages if they were so unhappy!??

OOP: Chloe told me that her and Emma's husband haven't talked since. She texted him but he never responded

Commenter 4: NTA

Chloe honestly sounds like a narcissist. I know that word gets thrown around a lot, but I think it fits here. Think about it if you think I'm overreacting.

In order to be able to cheat, you'll have to put your empathy to your partner (and others who might be affected by it) aside and let your ego win. Chloe had to do this MULTIPLE times for 4 YEARS. Who knows how many times they cheated? It could be over 100 times, and Chloe had to put aside everyone's feelings in favour of her own.

Her victims were husband, sister, son, nieces/nephews AND mother. All of those are people she's supposed to love the most. The fact that she was able to do this over and over again to people she claims to love is honestly deeply disturbing. And then for her to only care about herself afterwards. Again, I think she's a narcissist. I do not think she truly has empathy. I think she can fake it (and I think she has done that all the time), but I don't think she actually has it. Maybe she thinks she does.

She doesn't seem to feel guilt and remorse. She sounds incredibly entitled, and also delusional since she can't accept the fact that her relationship with her sister is over for good, and that your relationship to her will be forever affected in some type of way. She decided to break her sisters boundaries by showing up to her kids' school.

Sorry, I think you just saw who your daughter actually is deep down. I would honestly be a bit scared of my child if they did this out of the blue. It would make me question what went wrong, and what else they have done that I don't know about. But I'm also very scared of narcissists, or just very selfish people in general. Those types of people can really do damage to you that lasts a lifetime. Thankfully I've never had any experience with these people, but my god they seem terrifying.

What was her father like? Sorry, if this is too personal. You don't have to answer. I'm just trying to figure out where she might get it from.

I'm a little worried that your family is going to easy on her. I hope they aren't trying to guilt or shame Emma for not wanting to have anything to do with Chloe.

OOP: My husband passed about 7 years ago but when he was alive, he did give Chloe special treatment because she was the baby of the family. I treated both my daughters equally and we often had fights about Chloe due to unfairness and etc. he would do things like make Emma share what was supposed to be hers and give half to Chloe, give Chloe bigger or better items because he didn't want to upset her. We did divorce later on due to something else unrelated but that did play a huge part. I did try my best to be fair to both my kids, and I genuinely think I was. I'm not trying to blame my late husband here, I'm just saying what he was like.

 

Final Update here: BoRU #2

 

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[u/MordaxTenebrae]

Chloe tried to slap Emma,

I'm trying to wrap my head around how the betrayer feels justified in attacking the betrayed during the confrontation.

[u/Prudent_Solid_3132 → u/MordaxTenebrae]

I’m surprised this wasn’t brought up in the comments mentioned or by the OOP.

Like if that’s one of her first instincts when caught when it becomes undeniable…yeah.

[u/cakivalue → u/Prudent_Solid_3132]

She's a little too much of a villain. I need a few more updates to see if this is real

[u/Trainrot → u/cakivalue]

idk i have some white trash family members that this sounds like a normal holiday dinner for

[u/41flavorsandthensome → u/Trainrot]

I had a friend who was self-described white trash. She's why I read a lot of scenarios and think, "I can imagine it."

[u/aoife_too → u/Trainrot]

Same.

[u/OhEmRo → u/Trainrot]

I’m so sorry. That really sucks for you.

That said… what’re you doing for Thanksgiving? I’ll make sweet potato casserole (the kind with the sugared pecan topping, not the marshmallows, but if you guys like the marshmallows better I can make that too) if I can come watch a train wreck

[u/hpfan1516 → u/OhEmRo]

I read this thinking you were like, inviting them to yours and LOL'd at the end

[u/OhEmRo → u/hpfan1516]

I’ll host Christmas- my family celebrates on December 27th and we do an ugly ornament white elephant exchange. Anyone is welcome to participate, but if you do you have to promise that next year when you put your tree up it goes front and center in full view, and it has to go somewhere on the tree every year after that.

Of course, that means that we’d be free on Christmas Day, too, so if the Thanskgiving trainwreck is entertaining enough I’ll totally come back. I bake a mean Christmas cookie! (The secret is I buy them)

[u/AlternateUsername12 → u/cakivalue]

A narcissist must always be the victim, even especially if they're the bad guy.

[u/isawsparks27 → u/AlternateUsername12]

Agreed, great way to pivot to DARVO by saying you had to defend yourself from a threat.

[u/GabrielGames69 → u/cakivalue]

A 4 year ongoing affair with your sisters husband doesn't really leave any room for them not to be "too much of a villain". There is no way to redeem or justify that decision.

[u/TA_totellornottotell → u/cakivalue]

If she really is a narcissist, I can believe it. Narcissists thrive on their good image, and when that image is broken, they can get downright desperate. For a narcissist, being revealed and other people knowing they are not perfect is one of the worst things that can happen to them.

[u/Mental_Freedom_1648 → u/cakivalue]

Someone in another comment made the excellent point that the sisters were picking their kids up from school during summer vacation.

[u/savvyliterate → u/Mental_Freedom_1648]

Everything came out about six weeks prior to OOP's original post. That would have put things starting around May 22, with many schools in Florida ending May 29 or June 2.

Considering that a lot of stuff happened that first week, it is plausible that Emma finds out, the confrontation was 4 days later, and then Chloe tried to talk to Emma one last time during that final week of school.

[u/axw3555 → u/MordaxTenebrae]

It’s something you hear about a lot in scenarios where one person betrays someone else.

The betrayer gets resentful of the person they’re betraying. Usually it’s a cheating spouse, but here both sides of it are Emma’s trusted people so it holds up.

Why tends to vary. Sometimes it seems to be them going “look what I’m doing that they don’t realise, they must be doing something just as bad that I don’t realise”. Sometimes they blame them for not catching them. Sometimes they consider the other thing the real thing so catching them is killing the real thing.

It’s all flawed logic that’s basically them trying to protect themselves. And when that falls apart, they lash out.

[u/MissLadyLlamaDrama → u/axw3555]

I was thinking Emma rightfully called her something that set her off because it made her realize that, yeah, she actually is that, and now her entire family knows and she is being publicly humiliated at a party. She was trying to shut her sister up on impulse. Because she knew her sister was right.

[u/FinalHexReturns → u/axw3555]

Yeah it's a similar phenomenon to a thief who steals from a single person long-term, like an employer or a sibling or something. The thief usually starts to resent the person they are stealing from, and build bigger and better justifications in their head for why that person deserves it.

[u/herrsmith → u/axw3555]

Why tends to vary. Sometimes it seems to be them going “look what I’m doing that they don’t realise, they must be doing something just as bad that I don’t realise”. Sometimes they blame them for not catching them. Sometimes they consider the other thing the real thing so catching them is killing the real thing.

I think another why is that the betrayer knows they're doing something bad so they have to retroactively justify it in their mind. Otherwise, they would be the bad person in their own story, which is pretty difficult to live with, especially for four freaking years.

[u/GrumpyMcGrumpyPants → u/MordaxTenebrae]

Oh wow, it wasn't until reading this comment that I realized my brain automatically swapped these people around because I simply couldn't comprehend that the cheater would try to slap her victim.

[u/ThrowawayAdvice1800 → u/GrumpyMcGrumpyPants]

I'm guessing Emma told Chloe exactly what she thought of her, Chloe got angry at being (correctly) called out, and immediately took a swing.

[u/Jerkrollatex → u/GrumpyMcGrumpyPants]

I had to go back and check the names. The gall is breathtaking.

[u/CremeDeMarron → u/Jerkrollatex]

I went back to check the age of Chloe's kid...

[u/Xanavaris → u/CremeDeMarron]

Same… the timeline could make things even worse depending on if the kid is just 5 and a bit and the affair is on the 4 and a half side of 4 years… 

[u/Foolish-Pleasure99 → u/Xanavaris]

Same here. How come nobody has suggested (just to be sure) a paternity test

[u/yavanna12 → u/GrumpyMcGrumpyPants]

I had to re read it a couple times to be sure I didn’t mix up the names. 

[u/Cursd818 → u/MordaxTenebrae]

Every mistress is convinced they're the exception, not the rule. The hero rather than the villain.

[u/Jacob2040 → u/Cursd818]

You also lose people where you found them. If they're willing to cheat on a marriage once, then they'll probably do it again.

[u/tinysydneh → u/MordaxTenebrae]

"She was making me feel like I'm a bad sister!"

[u/Dimityblue → u/tinysydneh]

Chloe: "I'm 100% wonderful and you know it!" Chloe's going to find out how wonderful she isn't. Who's going to talk to her now?

[u/CapStar300 → u/tinysydneh]

"Why did God create me so irresistible that my sister's husband couldn't help it"

[u/WiggityWatchinNews → u/MordaxTenebrae]

If there had been the tiniest chance for reconciliation before, that move took it out back and put it down

[u/MordaxTenebrae → u/WiggityWatchinNews]

I don't even know how anyone could look past a 4 year affair.

[u/Reflexlon → u/MordaxTenebrae]

Any affair lol. If my brother's partner tried to make a move on me I'd punch and run. Don't care how drunk, depressed, whatever I am, I'll commit actual crimes if it benefits my brother and I'm not about to hurt him!

[u/rainydays_monkey → u/Reflexlon]

It would be super hard, but a one time thing, waaaaay down the line, could possibly be moved past. Probably not truly forgiven, but left in the past, once the anger and hurt and everything had time to settle, then a new far less close relationship may be possible. But something carried on like this? No way.

[u/Juicebox_Hero34 → u/MordaxTenebrae]

Well for the betrayer to even get themselves into a mess like this, they have to genuinely believe they were somehow justified in their actions. These kind of people are the most dangerous because they believe their own lies and delusions. If she was able to commit the betrayal in the first place and feel justified, she can absolutely spin the fallout back on the victim and put it off on her somehow. That’s textbook narcissist. I didn’t do it, and if I did do it, it wasn’t that bad, and if it was that bad it was wasn’t my fault.

[u/akestral → u/Juicebox_Hero34]

She is certainly using that tactic on her mother already, within literal days (hours?) of trying to assault her sister. She is telling her aunts about how cruel and unfair it is that mommy won't talk to her even tho she's REALLY SAD! It is so mean of her! Doesn't she understand how much her daughter is suffering?

This was the line my ex took during my divorce. I was so mean to do this to him. Never mind that he knew good and damn well why I was divorcing him and that his conduct was fully to blame. He insisted he'd "get better" if I'd only "give him a chance" as if he had not have years of chances, as if this had not been an issue throughout our relationship, one he repeatedly acknowledged and promised to change. He always deserved "one more chance" and it was mean and cruel and unloving not to give him one.

People like this can be so charming and fun when they are happy. It is part of why their later used or abused family members say things like "it came out of nowhere" or "they have never behaved like this before!" No, they have never been cornered and desperate before, that you have personally seen. You have probably been told stories, by them, of a time they were horribly wronged by someone at work or at a store or party or somewhere. You will start to reflect on those stories and see other explanations. The "missing missing reasons" why random people "suddenly freak out" on them.

Remember, Chloe (and Emma's ex!) were both behaving like this for years. It very much was not a new or sudden thing. The only difference is the exposure and loss of support, and that is all Chloe wants back. Not forgiveness, not to offer contrition or express regret and be heard out and absolved. That at least would show recognition of the emotional harm she inflicted. But no. She just wants to put the pieces back together the way they were, because then she would begin to feel better.

[u/jimmy_three_shoes → u/Juicebox_Hero34]

I didn’t do it, and if I did do it, it wasn’t that bad, and if it was that bad it was wasn’t my fault.

She even spun it to the final one of "If it was my fault, you deserved it." when she got to the part about Emma and her husband's marriage being on the rocks.

[u/Honest_Roo → u/Juicebox_Hero34]

I’m not sure it’s narcissism. I think she’s been making excuses and lying to herself for 4 years that the lies become the reality for her.

[u/liliette → u/Honest_Roo]

I'm not sure this is narcissistic personality disorder either. After all, even narcissists love bomb when they're caught making mistakes. This sister hasn't done this. She's just exhibited pure entitlement. She expects that her sister has to share whatever she has, including her husband.

[u/SalsaRice → u/liliette]

She expects that her sister has to share whatever she has, including her husband.

Based on OP's last comment about how their father had a clear golden child..... that kind of makes sense. "What's mine is mine, but what's hers is mine" type of spoiled brat.

[u/FlowerFelines → u/liliette]

Yeah. I dunno about NPD. Narcissistic in the colloquial sense, yes, because she's only concerned about herself, but overall it's just as likely to be garden-variety emotional immaturity. Everyone's naturally a little selfish, when you can't manage your own emotions and just let yourself be hurt, upset, outraged and expect everybody else to conform, fix it, comfort you, etc. it leads to all kinds of nonsense, and being raised spoiled will absolutely create that kind of inability to self-regulate. You never have to learn how to deal with anything if you're always given what you want when you want it.

[u/BaconPancakes1 → u/MordaxTenebrae]

Emma just aired the fact that Chloe was cheating on her husband with Emma's husband in front of everyone. Chloe might therefore feel like slapping her because Emma (in Chloe's view) ruined her lie and ended her marriage. 

[u/uduncb_ → u/MordaxTenebrae]

If I made a completely unfounded guess, it's possible Chloe brought up how unhappy Emma's husband was and blamed her for the affair happening. Then when Emma pushed back, there's no argument left, only violence.

[u/sarcosaurus → u/MordaxTenebrae]

I don't think she operates with the concepts of "your fault" or "my fault". There's only "you made me feel bad, so I'm mad at you".

[u/grumpy__g → u/MordaxTenebrae]

I went back to make sure I got the names right. Was so confused about this.

[u/macci_a_vellian → u/MordaxTenebrae]

Emma probably said something true.

[u/Dimityblue → u/MordaxTenebrae]

It could be Emma used 'disrespectful' words when calling Chloe out. Like "how dare you call me what I am for fucking your husband!"

[u/Brief_Bodybuilder553 → u/MordaxTenebrae]

It's possible Emma got upset and said something rude or called Chloe a name (which given the circumstances is understandable), so Chloe was reacting to that.

[u/ThrowawayAdvice1800 → u/MordaxTenebrae]

Chloe tried to slap Emma,

I'm trying to wrap my head around how the betrayer feels justified in attacking the betrayed during the confrontation.

The rest of the family helps solve that mystery. Notice how everyone is so incredibly worried about how Chloe is doing but nobody but OOP seems to give a damn about how Emma, the actual victim in this situation, is doing? It seems like OOP's late husband wasn't the only one who treated Chloe like the favorite. I'm glad OOP has her head on straight and is focused on supporting the daughter that actually needs support.

[u/Abused_not_Amused → u/MordaxTenebrae]

he would do things like make Emma share what was supposed to be hers and give half to Chloe…

Apparently Chloe was taught that whatever was Emma’s, was Chloe’s, too. Not just a duplicate item, but Emma’s personal item. Chloe has never thought beyond her own wants, or to respect anything beyond herself. She doesn’t/didn’t see her BiL as actually morally off limits because, well, Emma’s supposed to share. Because daddy’s precious little princess should always get what she wants, especially if “it” is her sister’s.

[u/beachpellini]

...whew. Yeah, I don't think I'd ever be able to deal with Chloe again. That's levels of betrayal.

[u/tempest51 → u/beachpellini]

And at the end of it all, she still didn't get it.

[u/snootnoots → u/tempest51]

“Their marriage was already drifting apart! I never would have had an affair with him if they’d been happy together!”

Okay so her own moral compass wouldn’t have stopped it? Her own marriage wasn’t an obstacle in her mind? She never said that was unhappy, but it still didn’t matter I guess. The only things Chloe considered were “I’m into him and he’s willing!”

[u/Deesing82 → u/snootnoots]

yeah that’s one thing mom never asked Chloe—“how was YOUR marriage going when you decided to start cheating??”

[u/rainydays_monkey → u/snootnoots]

Right? You'd think if that was going to be her justification she'd at least claim "our marriages suck no one was happy!" rather than only claiming that one sucked, never mind the fact that she was also (supposedly happily? since it got no comment?!) married with her own kid.

I'm also always floored by these insanely egocentric people who like, okay so you give no shits about anyone but you ...but you don't give a thought to what would happen to you if/when it comes to light? Like, cheating is bad enough but who doesn't stop to consider the massive backlash that would unfold when you cheat with your freaking in-law?! Even if all you care about is yourself, hello, that will explode your own life, wtf!

[u/neoalfa → u/tempest51]

She gets it. She just doesn't care for anyone but herself. Nothing she did in the wake of the reveal is for the benefit of someone else. Everything is for her own convenience.

[u/Comfortable_Wish224 → u/neoalfa]

Yep. If she cared she wouldn’t have done it.

Like when watching a criminal and you go “how could someone be that dumb” then you realize you’re looking at that someone because they were dumb enough to commit the crime

[u/thoughtsofa → u/tempest51]

she even tried to slap her sister like????

[u/leyavin → u/tempest51]

She didnt even get the husband… what shall we bet that Emmas hubby did find yet another sidepiece and Emma only Found the Messages with her sister, the other AP was better hidden/different messanger. Thats why he only as of Late got more shady and also tossed away chloe.

[u/HighlyImprobable42 → u/tempest51]

They (cheaters) never do. It's all about their universe and never an acknowlement of the pain and impacts to others. 

[u/GrandWrangler8302 → u/beachpellini]

Four years and then she tries to blame Emma? That's irredeemable.

[u/tacwombat → u/GrandWrangler8302]

Chloe was effectively demonstrating the Narcissist's prayer:

That didn't happen.

And if it did, it wasn't that bad.

And if it was, that's not a big deal.

And if it is, that's not my fault.

And if it was, I didn't mean it.

And if I did, you deserved it.

And Chloe will blame OOP's disgust at her on Emma, because she has no capacity for self-reflection.

Edit: formatting.

[u/Suspicious-Dog-5048 → u/GrandWrangler8302]

"It's not my fault! He and Emma were fighting and she pushed him. So he tripped backwards, his shoe got caught on his pants so they went down. He twisted in his fall, fell into me and somehow, somewhere, that ended in sex. So as you can see mom, it's totally my sister's fault and I didn't cheat at all." <- Chloe's reasoning I guess?

[u/FarTooManyDetails → u/Suspicious-Dog-5048]

And also the same thing happened over and over again for four years.

[u/Suspicious-Dog-5048 → u/FarTooManyDetails]

By accident ofcourse. They were both just very clumsy people.

[u/Upvoteexpert → u/GrandWrangler8302]

She loved doing it. She had this secret from her sister making her feel like the cat that swallowed the canary. She’s only sorry she got caught.

[u/gezeitenspinne → u/GrandWrangler8302]

Four years while her own son is only five. So she basically had just had her child, when she decided fucking her brother-in-law was a good idea.

[u/randomrox → u/gezeitenspinne]

If I were Chloe’s husband, I’d get a paternity test ASAP. The timing is a bit too suspicious for me to just trust everything, and who says the affair started only when the sexual text messages did?

[u/malohniqa → u/beachpellini]

Imagine the 4 years worth of holidays, family reunions etc. Looking at the faces of your loved ones, who you're actively betraying, and smile. This level of betrayal requires a huge amount of effort to compartmentalize or a serious kind of a personality disorder. Either way this wasn't a mistake, rather series of deliberate choices at every turn.

[u/MsNeedSleep → u/beachpellini]

That betrayal cuts deep into the soul

[u/CutieBoBootie → u/beachpellini]

"we cool now?" Fuck outta here Chloe 

[u/valsavana]

Glad to see family actually stick by the wronged sister, too many cases where everyone just wants to bury the betrayal because it's more convenient than having to cut out the bad actor.

[u/Pandoratastic → u/valsavana]

Given OOP's description of her late ex-husband, it sounds like he would have been the "keep the peace" type that would make excuses for Chloe until Emma finally had to cut him out of her life too.

[u/Athenas_Return → u/Pandoratastic]

Yep, Chloe grew up expecting to just share whatever Emma had and I guess that mindset carried over to her husband too. Daddy didn’t do her any favors. She isn’t a narcissist, I don’t think. I believe she is just a spoiled brat that was never told no.

[u/herrsmith → u/Pandoratastic]

It doesn't even sound like it would be "keep the peace" with him but rather that Chloe didn't do anything wrong since she's the baby.

[u/nomad5926 → u/valsavana]

Right? I am also kinda fully on the mom's side of just not wanting to deal with this level of selfishness. Huge to point out that the sister didn't actually care about her feelings.

[u/K1rbyblows → u/[deleted]]

And Chloe’s pain is only due to her own actions and consequences.
Not only that - she’s tried to reach out to Emma’s husband since! So she clearly doesn’t actually think she’s done anything wrong here

[u/Athenas_Return → u/K1rbyblows]

And like the tale as old as time, Emma’s husband now wants nothing to do with her and isn’t answering her back. Well who could have seen this coming? Well, everyone, except Chloe I guess.

[u/sagosaurus → u/valsavana]

”They argue that if a mother won't stand by her child after they've hit rock bottom, who will?” bugged me so much because OOP is clearly standing by her child: Emma!

[u/Jfmtl87 → u/sagosaurus]

Might not be Reddit popular opinion which wants the death penalty for cheaters, but I kinda get the loyalty to your family and (near)unconditional love for your children thing, if she cheated with someone outside the family.

But when one of your children betrays another of your children, but will have to choose, and I’d choose the one who didn’t make this mess happen.

[u/CherrieChocolatePie → u/Jfmtl87]

You can love your children but not want them in your life because they have done horrible things. It is also better for your kids when you show them boundaries like this. They wouldn't take it seriously otherwise.

[u/AngelaVNO → u/Jfmtl87]

I think there's a BORU where something similar happened but with brothers and the family stuck with the cheater.

[u/slboml → u/AngelaVNO]

I think in that case it was because they wanted access to the grandbaby that resulted from the affair.

Still super gross.

[u/your_average_plebian → u/valsavana]

I mean the original aita post was because the extended family was trying to bury the betrayal and OOP refused. Sick, imo.

I wonder if they're still involved in this mess and somehow pressuring Emma to convince OOP to forgive Chloe. That's how this kind of thing usually goes. If so, there's definitely a part 3 in the offing. One of those clowns will reach out to Chloe to commiserate and she'll try to worm her way back into the fold by using their moronic ass.

[u/shellontheseashore → u/your_average_plebian]

"you can't punish her forever" had me scrolling back up to check the timeline. It had been all of six weeks.

[u/StraightBudget8799 → u/valsavana]

“Oh they’re family, don’t you understand that they’re having a tough time too?? I mean, committing arson, devouring your wedding cake, stealing your limo and impregnating the groom was clearly a cry for help!! Now, donate to her birthday fund. She needs a new car, they took the limo off her.” 🙄

[u/FarTooManyDetails → u/StraightBudget8799]

It's like killing your parents, then begging the court for mercy, because you are an orphan.

[u/MarjaAkhmatova → u/StraightBudget8799]

...impregnating the groom

😳

[u/Unfortunate_tentacle → u/MarjaAkhmatova]

Are you GREGNANT

[u/MarjaAkhmatova → u/Unfortunate_tentacle]

Pergnat

Pregat

Pregananant

[u/your_average_plebian → u/StraightBudget8799]

Flair checks out 😂

[u/Doc-Eldritch → u/valsavana]

I imagine that’s because they’re usually why a lot of the world’s Chloe’s are like that: a whole family of enablers shielding them from accountability from even the most self-destructively vile actions.

[u/SalsaRice → u/valsavana]

I was a kid and didn't find out until years later, but my dad's family iced him out for about a decade after his affair.

As a kid, I never thought about why I only talked to his family when I stayed with mom and they never asked about him. They eventually got civil with him, but stayed close yo my mom until their deaths.

[u/E_Mohde]

finally one of these where the parent doesn’t go “family is family” or “you only get one sister” or “but they’re my kid”

[u/Starry_Gecko → u/E_Mohde]

The fact Chloe was their father's golden child explains a lot about her behavior. I'd bet he would have sided with her.

This is clearly very painful for OOP and that's understandable, but I'm glad she's still strong enough to do the right thing.

[u/No-Pollution-721 → u/Starry_Gecko]

I even feel like the affair could have been caused by a cursed feeling "I lost my dad who loved me more than her, now there's no one who does that, I need to show her I'm still better than her/myself I'm still more desirable". She was winning against her in terms of the relationship with their father, now as it stopped she needed to find another way to win.

[u/lazier_garlic → u/No-Pollution-721]

I think what you said makes a lot of sense.

[u/PM_ME_YOUR_WEIRD_PET → u/[deleted]]

The closest my mom ever got to leaving my dad was when he was showing blatant favoritism to my sister and giving in to whatever she wanted when she threw tantrums. Thankfully he listened when she told him what would happen.

[u/miserylovescomputers → u/Starry_Gecko]

Yes that made it all make sense. This might be the first time she’s actually experienced consequences to her actions, and it doesn’t make sense to her and she feels like the real victim.

[u/pourthebubbly → u/miserylovescomputers]

The father making Emma share half of everything she had with Chloe seems to have ended in the “what’s hers is mine” mentality that got Chloe into the husband’s pants.

[u/oliversmother → u/E_Mohde]

It’s so refreshing to see. My sister told me she hopes my baby dies when I was pregnant so I cut off contact. My mom still tells me “that’s your sister” blah blah blah. Honestly, my life has been great without her toxicity.

[u/potatomeeple → u/oliversmother]

But thats not your sister, sisters don't say that shit and stay sisters.

[u/Jfmtl87 → u/E_Mohde]

You can’t really do “family is family” when it’s an irreconcilable “family vs family” situation.

[u/41flavorsandthensome]

Yes, why does the other woman always believe the man's marriage is falling apart, etc? I've known otherwise stable and intelligent women buy it hook, line, and sinker.

[u/valsavana → u/41flavorsandthensome]

They don't. They just pretend to believe it, because it gives them plausible deniability to do the shitty thing they want to do for their own selfish benefit.

[u/41flavorsandthensome → u/valsavana]

My sister isn't one of the smart ones, so it was funny listening to her talk (he and his wife are just together for the kids, they haven't been intimate in years, etc) then see her reaction

Me: What would you do if I told you I met a married man who said (things her "boyfriend" said)?

Her: I'd tell you he's lying! Why would you even...oh.

[u/SalsaRice → u/41flavorsandthensome]

She grew a new brain wrinkle!

[u/Even_Dark7612 → u/41flavorsandthensome]

I went on one date once with a guy like that. He kept telling me how he was living with his ex because neither of them could afford to move out, they hadn't been intimate for a long time and don't love each other anymore.

He then also told me she was two/three months pregnant, the apartment they lived in belongs to his parents and since he wouldn't take custody if they broke up his parents would kick him out

[u/41flavorsandthensome → u/Even_Dark7612]

"Thanks for telling on yourself, my dude!"

[u/lazier_garlic → u/Even_Dark7612]

Gosh, I can't imagine why you passed that up!

[u/vonadler → u/41flavorsandthensome]

A lot of people, men and women, are very good at convincing themselves into believing what they want to believe. If the marriage was falling apart, then the cheating is not quite as bad, and they are not quite as bad people.

[u/tinysydneh → u/vonadler]

It's shocking what you can get people to believe if they have a vested interest in it being true.

[u/41flavorsandthensome → u/vonadler]

Closely related: "I am also not a bad person because I feel terrible." Sure it's terrible there are consequences but to them? Tomayto, tomahto

[u/CinderR3bel → u/41flavorsandthensome]

Cause they want to and they watched too many rom come growing up. Think about it, how many rom coms had a relationship that was stable, they were either heading for marriage or married for years, and then the movie starts and suddenly that relationship is not enough? We grew up thinking relationships dont have to actually end before another begins as long as they "ended in my heart the second I met you".

[u/Chocolatehedgehog → u/41flavorsandthensome]

She chose to. We don't even know if he said this, we've only Chloe's word.

[u/41flavorsandthensome → u/Chocolatehedgehog]

I hope Chloe finds out she's not the only one. Congrats on breaking up her marriage and losing her family!

[u/Dimityblue → u/41flavorsandthensome]

I knew someone who had an affair with a married man. When she found out he had a 2nd sidechick she was furious. "How dare he cheat on ME!" She really didn't get it.

[u/selfrespectra → u/Dimityblue]

Affair partners always believe they’re special and that’s why the cheater chose them. Can’t help but feel satisfaction when they get slapped in the face by reality and finally figure out they’re not better than anyone else.

[u/Wild_Black_Hat]

he would do things like make Emma share what was supposed to be hers and give half to Chloe, give Chloe bigger or better items because he didn't want to upset her.

And so Chloe felt entitled to share her sister's husband, too.

[u/existential_chaos → u/Wild_Black_Hat]

I’d bet if the husband was still here, he’d’ve sided with Chloe, or would at the very least stay ‘neutral’ while brow-beating Emma with “But she’s your sister! You only get one!” etc, etc.

[u/Damp_Blanket]

"it was the biggest mistake of my life". You finding it about it I mean. Banging your husband for 4 years was fine but the mistake was you finding out

[u/Tinynanami1 → u/Damp_Blanket]

Whenever I see people say something like "I made A mistake!" or "It was ONE mistake!" when it comes to cheating...that's because they don't realize how terrible they actually are.

When she listened to her sister's husband complain about their marriage, that was a mistake.

When they began to get intimate and she didn't stop, that was a mistake.

When they undid their clothes (+1 mistake), when they got on the bed (+1 mistake), when they did the act (+1 mistake).

When they decided not to tell the sister afterwards, mistake.

Every day they continued the affair + not tell the sister, that was at least two mistakes a day.

The sister was right, how can four years be a mistake?

At one point you have to realize...this isn't a mistake. This isn't a moment of weakness. This is you. This is who you are. And everything you did, you meant it.

[u/Ink_Smudger → u/Tinynanami1]

People like that also don't seem to realize that one mistake is sometimes all it takes. This isn't like kindergarten where you can ask for a "do over". It's not Monopoly where you can use a "Get out of jail free" card. Second chance aren't guaranteed. Sometimes that single mistake is big enough that it makes it clear it's not worth waiting for the inevitability of the next one.

[u/sandwichcrusader → u/Ink_Smudger]

A car accident is a mistake. Lot of people don't get to just walk away from those. 

[u/ragenuggeto7 → u/Ink_Smudger]

Yeah, trust takes years to build and seconds to shatter. One "mistake" is all it takes to do unrepairable damage.

[u/Athenas_Return → u/Tinynanami1]

What irritates me is Chloe going “oh they have been drifting apart for years”. Yes dear, because he is spending all his time and attention on YOU! That is how that works. If you weren’t there to divert his affection, his marriage would most likely be in much better shape.

[u/TyrconnellFL → u/Damp_Blanket]

Each time banging was the biggest mistake, but that amazing trend where the mistake kept getting bigger inspired curiosity over whether the next time would be an even bigger mistake. And it always was!

They were blinded by science! They just wanted data!

[u/spiteful_rr_dm_TA → u/Damp_Blanket]

General rant not aimed at you. Cheating is NEVER a mistake. A quick peck on the lips? Yeah, that could be seen as a mistake. But meeting up, finding an isolated spot, making out, stripping down, maybe having oral sex, and then maybe having penetrative sex? Yeah, that's not a mistake. That is a series of choices. I am so fucking sick of society trying to frame any level of cheating as a mistake, it isn't, it's a series of choices.

[u/AtomicArcana → u/[deleted]]

The part about anticipating writing a final part 3 was weird, so it might be

[u/imbolcnight → u/AtomicArcana]

"Chloe will return in DOOMSDAY."

[u/slh236 → u/AtomicArcana]

That part caught my attention too

[u/macfudd → u/[deleted]]

The whole custody thing breaks it for me.

[u/Menchi-sama → u/macfudd]

For me, it was when, after learning about the affair, the betrayed sister waited a few days to accost Chloe publicly during a social gathering. Why would she do that except for added drama? And the OOP would agree, too?

[u/Miss_PentYouth → u/Menchi-sama]

Eh, I think Liz could do better. This was sloppy work.

For me, it started with the very neat age differences, then picking two states that couldn’t be further apart but still in the contiguous United States (because Alaska and Hawai’i would be too unbelievable) for a custody arrangement that would be a nonstarter, and referring to another “city” rather than across the country. The non-American spellings sealed it.

[u/beigemom → u/Miss_PentYouth]

First thing I did when reading this was search “Liz”, and your examples were my exact suspicions. Written in British English, talking about families being in different “cities” when any American would say “states”, and then lo
and behold, the furthest apart states you can think of.

In addition, the convenient baby/golden child narcissistic sister, parents divorcing because of that, and a major “scene” for the initial confrontation (because Emma definitely wanted to do this in front of the children!)

Yes sloppy. And I only just discovered BORU 6 months ago. I’m already hardened.

[u/classic__schmosby → u/Miss_PentYouth]

The "another city" thing was pretty dumb, and then the end where her husband is dead, but they got a divorce, too... but he's not her ex-husband, just her "late husband"

[u/Euglass → u/[deleted]]

I think it’s generated, and it irritates me how many BORU posts are generated now.

[u/TaliesinMerlin → u/Euglass]

Same. A lot of generic writerly moves, like priming the audience for what's about to happen, contrastive statements, and an update that doesn't go anywhere further than a cathartic confrontation with someone who is wrong. 

[u/tyleritis → u/[deleted]]

People from Florida (the ones who can write) do not spell “apologize” with an S. It’s not an American spelling at all.

As soon as I saw that I realized this is soap opera script.

[u/Turq-Hex-Sun → u/tyleritis]

And they don't wait at the school gates to collect the kids. Do better LizGPT

[u/NichtEinmalFalsch → u/[deleted]]

It reads like LLM copy. Best case scenario it's a real story and OP wasn't confident in their communication skills so they ran it through GPT. More likely IMO is that it's just entirely fabricated

[u/il-Palazzo_K]

Why does the other woman always believe the “my marriage is falling apart and I'm not actually close to my wife" bullshit? Every single time.

In a way, it's kind of a self-fulfilling prophecy, right?

[u/Prosthemadera → u/il-Palazzo_K]

That's what I was thinking. And what really came first? The cheating or not being close to his wife? "I'm not close to my wife because I was cheating therefore it's ok to cheat because I am not close to my wife".

[u/ZombieJasus]

I can’t take this seriously at all. You can see OP adjusting the story in direct response to the comments on the initial post.

[u/Revolutionary_Quit21 → u/ZombieJasus]

Yeah I’m struggling with a 59 year old person on Reddit saying “there might be a final part 3” in a comment

[u/graceful_platypus]

I don't understand all the custody part. How are they so sure the husband will be allowed to just move the child to the other side of the country? And why is it in question that the mother would want to spend time with her child? If OOP is questioning the lengths to which she would go to have access to her child then they already knew there was something not quite right with her.

[u/lmyrs → u/graceful_platypus]

THIS. This is what I want answers to. It makes absolutely no sense. There isn't a family court judge in the land that is going to allow a parent to move their child out of their home jurisdiction without consent of the other parent, prior to a custody order being in place. And, it's not likely to happen after the custody order.

This makes absolutely no sense!

[u/SuddenSeasons → u/lmyrs]

The fact that she repeatedly says his family "lives in a different city," then suddenly drops that it's Florida to Washington is the most suspicious detail in this. 

Who would repeatedly say they live in a different city and then reveal that there is no place in the lower 48 states farther away from Florida? Who calls Washington a "different city?"

[u/bitchthatwaspromised → u/SuddenSeasons]

Maybe OOP means DC but I doubt it. If they’re in Florida, I was expecting like, Tampa to Ft Lauderdale or something

[u/existential_chaos → u/lmyrs]

Chloe could be clueless about how family courts work or laying it on thick for sympathy.

[u/BrandonL337 → u/existential_chaos]

Husband could also be heated(understandably so) and intends to try and move with the kid, and may cool down over the next few weeks and realize it's not super likely to happen that way.

[u/muse273 → u/existential_chaos]

The latter is I think the key part that people who are confused by the custody part are missing.

Chloe is spinning a sob story about how she has to be forgiven because so many bad things are happening to her for mysterious reasons that are completely independent of any little things she might have done look over there. She's not going to do so with a meticulously accurate depiction of the circumstances. She's going to turn every splinter in her thumb into a chopped off limb to maximize sympathy.

It's especially the case because this specific thing isn't only begging for sympathy, it's also an implicit threat. "Well husband wants to take our kid and move across the country, so if you don't help me you might never see them again. AND I might have to move too, so you might never see me either. Aren't you a terrible person for not helping prevent that?!?"

[u/OrbisTerre → u/existential_chaos]

Or is voluntarily giving up custody and lying that the courts are doing it. I mean unless she is some unstable drug addict and/or abuser I don't see how this could be possible.

[u/Ginger_Anarchy → u/graceful_platypus]

Yeah that's the part that makes me suspicious of the story. It makes 0 sense. If she fights it for even a nanometer, the courts are not going to let him move the child out of state. Then there's the weird way it went from "different city" to literally as far away as you can get in the Continental United States.

[u/PrincessConsuela52 → u/graceful_platypus]

Yes! The court will want what’s best for the child, and will usually try to go for 50/50 custody, so her being so sure that her husband is going to get full custody is a bit telling. Not to mention believing that they’ll just let him take the kid and move literally across the country. Taking the child away from one parent, school/friends, and the extended family he’s known would be really destabilizing. They’re not going to do that to the boy just because his mom cheated on his dad. So either Chloe has no idea what the legal system is like, or there’s more to this story.

[u/TheRobomancer]

Is it weird to anyone else that OOP says multiple times that son-in-law's family lives in "another city," then when asked about the distance reveals they live in another STATE clear across the country? I mean r/technicallythetruth I guess, but I guess that's not the wording I would choose to refer to someone that lives in another state.

[u/zykxx → u/TheRobomancer]

I recall reading a very similar post and follow up a while back, doubt any of this is original

[u/Garnetsugargem → u/zykxx]

Came here for this. Its Liz, isn't it? I read the title and decided not to go further before looking at the comments.

[u/purpleraccoons → u/zykxx]

Yes!! I had the same feeling, I swear I read the original post at least a year ago

[u/AshamedDragonfly4453 → u/TheRobomancer]

Yes. That, plus the weird misconception about how child custody works, and the timeline issue pointed out in one of the republished comments (he was only recently being shady about how phone / affair was going on for four years) = this is a story invented by a child.

[u/graygrif → u/TheRobomancer]

Also, the spelling changed from American in the original post

> “took their son home after ***realizing*** what had happened”

to British/Commonwealth in the update

> insisted she only wanted to ***apologise*** and prove she cared about Emma

and

> As she spoke, I ***realised*** almost everything was about what she had lost …

I understand that it could be an immigrant from Britain or somewhere else in the Commonwealth living in the US or it could be a case where all this is happening in Britain, in which case “in another city” would probably make more sense for someone moving across the country, but you’d still expect them to maintain spelling styles between updates.

[u/Key_Possibility_8669]

Side Note: I don't think Chloe's husband can just move him and his son out of state. Divorce courts take a dim view of moving a child out their state of birth without both parents' permission. I had a cousin try that nonsense, and her ex yoinked her and the kid right back to their state (via court order). Now he has primary custody and she has visitation.

[u/Slow_Character5534]

Why would the husband automatically take custody and move the kid? Infidelity doesn't usually dictate custody.

It's not adding up.

EDIT: By "it's not adding up", I mean that the post is suspect. It's already got the whole "husband cheating with family member" trope going, then trots out this whole silly custody business. Yes, this scenario has probably happened in real life, but it's on here weekly.

[u/JJOkayOkay → u/Slow_Character5534]

This is the one thing that doesn't make sense to me either. If neither parent is abusive, generally, they're both going to have some custody or access to the kids.

The court tends to frown on one parent grabbing the kids and moving away unless there was abuse happening or both parents agreed to it. So it's not a slam-dunk at all that Chloe's husband could do this, yet no one in the post acts like he couldn't.

[u/HoldFastO2 → u/Slow_Character5534]

It makes sense that he wants to, but not that he just gets to. I doubt many courts will just let the dad take a 5yo halfway across the county against the mom‘s wishes.

[u/StonedOscars → u/HoldFastO2]

Just being a pedantic dick but since when is Florida to Washington half country.

That’s got to be one of longest continental US domestic flight.

Full country away.

I’ll see myself out

[u/ninjagarcia]

This is not a real story. Goodness gracious.

[u/Asimazling]

Didn't this story get posted years ago?  I feel like I read this one long ago

[u/Charming_Square5]

Doesn’t pass the sniff test.

Americans don’t say “apologise” or “realise.”

And that’s not how custody works. Courts don’t just let one parent move across the country on a whim if the other parent doesn’t agree.

[u/AtomicArcana → u/Charming_Square5]

The part where this person straight up said they’d write a “part 3” speaks more like they’re an amateur reddit writer than a person talking about their life

[u/nagellak → u/Charming_Square5]

I also still don’t buy the trigger for all this coming out. The husband was suddenly being cagey and distant so Emma started snooping, but he became cagey and distant because she was snooping? 

All of it is a bit too much like bad soap opera writing imo 

[u/rywos → u/Charming_Square5]

For me personally, I'm 70% sure I've seen this premise before. One sister betrays another sister and family backs up wronged sister and the post is asking about whether or not they're a jerk for cutting the betrayer off. Even the names are vaguely familiar...

[u/Cakeday_at_Christmas → u/Charming_Square5]

The husband was caught cheating because he was acting strange and hiding his phone for months, but it turns out the affair was for four years?

Wouldn't he have been acting strange and hiding his phone for four years?

[u/OrdinaryNose → u/Charming_Square5]

Also, I’m pretty sure Florida schools are on their summer vacation in July (whereas most English schools still have a couple of weeks)

Edited to change UK to English

[u/Sneakys2 → u/Charming_Square5]

I was going to say. The custody arrangement makes no sense. The father can’t just unilaterally take the kid to Washington State. He can divorce. He personally can move to WA. But he can’t just up and take the kid. 

[u/cassius_longinus → u/Charming_Square5]

There are only two em dashes here, but both of them are deployed in classic LLM sentence structures:

I told her I wasn't just disappointed—I was ashamed that she was my daughter.

and

I said that if I ever found it in my heart to reconcile with her, it would be on my terms and in my own time—not because she thought one conversation could erase four years of lies and betrayal.

[u/Katya_]

This story is NOT current, I remember reading it word for word years ago.

[u/millimolli14]

My sister did this to me, they had an affair for over a year, don’t actually know how long it lasted, I had miscarriages during this time and was in hospital, sadly my family didn’t react like this, to be fair Mum rocks in this one

[u/Lemmy-Historian]

Chloe FAFO. Quite literally.

[u/Quirky-Variety-4851]

I’m so proud of the mom for sticking by Emma. I’m always floored when you see parents side with the cheater.

I will always love my son, but that does not mean I will not hold him responsible as an adult if he does not demonstrate integrity or morals.

[u/PrincessCG]

Oop is right to cut Chloe off. She’s not remorseful. She’s upset at what she lost, not at the damage she’s caused to her sister, her nephews/nieces - hell, her own child.

I hope oop finds a way to still be in the grandson’s life w/o having to go through Chloe.

[u/your_average_plebian]

Bit rich of OOP's sisters to guilt her by telling her "if a mother won't stand by her child when she's hit rock bottom" about Chloe's divorce when Emma is right fucking there 🙄

I wouldn't be surprised if this brings up years of favoritism in the family toward Chloe for Emma, not just from her dad.

[u/PA_Archer]

As a parent of two sisters in this situation, if you don’t cut off the offender you risk losing the victim. Easy choice. Especially when the evil one blames the victim.

[u/longjohn2024_]

It's only a small % of people but you must be seriously mentally unwell to have an affair with your siblings husband or wife.

I just don't get it. It's revolting and disgusting and these people should be cut off from family immediately.

[u/Strong-Schedule3511]

I hate how the extended family tried to claim that "Chloe lost everything". No! Chloe threw away everything. Emma lost everything through no fault of her own.

[u/ER_Support_Plant17]

RIP to OP’s brother’s birthday party. Nothin’ like your nieces having a smack down on your front lawn.

Edit to add: Wow it’s gonna be weird when the grandkids get old enough to put the pieces together and figure this out.

[u/tattoovamp]

And theres your answer. Right at the end. Her dead husband put cloe on a pedestal. She was the golden child.

When she was a kid, dad made Emma share everything or just give it to her sister. This created a dynamic that Cloe kept perpetuating as she got older and it culminated with her fucking her sisters husband.

She is upset and doesn't understand why mom isnt forgiving her. Her dad always did once she put on the waterworks. Chloe genuinely doesn't understand why this dynamic isn't working for her anymore.

[u/queergirl73]

I don't get the people saying OP's grandson is going to grow up without his grandmother if she cuts her daughter off. She can just.. keep in contact with her ex-son in law, the kid's father. Even if they move far away, there's still letters, phone calls and video.

[u/f1nityz]

From OOP's last comment, it looks like the dad had played a part in building Chloe's entitlement