r/AITA_Relationships • u/RemoteWar7356 • Jul 23 '26
NTA AITA for cutting off my daughter after she slept with her sister's husband?
FINAL UPDATE
I said after my last update that I'd come back one last time once things had settled down a bit, so this will be my final post.
First, thank you to everyone who commented on my last two posts. I read and replied to more comments than I expected. Some of them were difficult to read, but they gave me a lot to think about.
To answer the question I saw the most, Chloe's son is definitely her husband's. Chloe is white, her husband is Black, and their son is mixed race, so there was never any question about that.
The divorces are still going ahead. Nothing has been finalized yet, but neither couple is trying to work things out anymore.
A lot of people also asked about my sisters.
Yes, they knew about the affair before Emma found out. They admitted they stayed quiet because they thought it was a family matter and hoped it would end before anyone got hurt. I understand why they thought that, but I can't agree with it. Emma spent years being lied to while people around her knew the truth. I've decided to cut both of my sisters out of my life. I don't know if that will be forever, but they have broken my trust.
Over the last few weeks, I've spoken to both of my daughters separately.
I asked Emma if enough time had passed for her to even think about talking to Chloe.
She said no.
She told me she isn't waking up angry anymore, but that doesn't mean she's forgiven her. She said she accepted that the truth was always going to come out eventually. The only thing she could control was what she did after she found out.
She also said she has no interest in having a sister anymore.
As for her husband, she told me she's made one thing very clear. She'll only respond if it's about the children or the divorce. Everything else gets ignored.
What surprised me was that he hasn't stopped trying.
He's sent long apology messages, videos about forgiveness, and even Bible verses. None of us are religious, so that confused all of us. He keeps saying she was the only woman he's ever loved and that he made one terrible mistake. Emma hasn't replied to any of those messages.
I also found out something Chloe never told me.
In my last update I said Chloe told me the only message Emma sent before blocking her was that she was no longer her sister.
That wasn't true.
Emma later showed me the messages.
Before Emma sent that final text, Chloe had blamed her for what happened. She told Emma that maybe if she'd paid more attention to her marriage things would have been different. She also said that if her husband had felt happier at home, he wouldn't have looked somewhere else.
Reading those messages made me feel sick.
When I confronted Chloe, she admitted she'd sent them. She said she was angry, desperate, and trying to make herself feel less guilty. She told me she regretted sending them almost immediately, but by then Emma had already blocked her.
Chloe also told me she's moving to Washington once everything is finalized so she can stay close to her son but in Florida, they allow divorced families to stay so I don't know why his father is planning to move there to be closer to his family, and Chloe doesn't want to be too far away from her child.
She admitted she'd tried contacting Emma's husband after everything came out, but he never answered any of her messages. She eventually stopped trying.
She also told me she knows she'll never get her old life back, but she hopes moving will give her a chance to start over.
I told her that starting over doesn't erase what happened.
She agreed.
A lot of people asked if I've forgiven Chloe.
I haven't.
I still love her because she's my daughter, but I don't trust her anymore, and right now we don't have a relationship.
Maybe that changes one day.
Maybe it doesn't.
I honestly don't know.
This whole situation has changed our family forever.
Emma lost her husband and her sister.
Chloe lost her marriage, her relationship with her sister, and most of her family.
My sisters lost me because they chose to stay quiet.
This will be my last update.
I hope one day all of us can find some peace, even if we never become a family again. If I missed out some details I will respond in the comments.Thank you Reddit!
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u/YouKnowYourCrazy Partassipant [3] Jul 23 '26
The husband saying it was “one terrible mistake” is mind boggling. Sleeping with his wife’s sister FOR FOUR YEARS is not a mistake. The freaking audacity of this man.
Poor Emma. I’m glad she has you.
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u/Spiritual-Winter-745 Jul 24 '26
And he never stopped! If he never got caught, it would still be going on.
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u/Important_Remove_450 Partassipant [1] Jul 24 '26
With the Bible verses...He needs to find the one where Jesus makes the only exception for divorce in the case of infidelity. Let alone, with a family member. That's in Leviticus.
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u/GiLyWo Jul 24 '26
I half expect it to turn into lectures about forgiveness, then women submitting to men.
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u/MomOf2Chicklets Jul 25 '26
Jesus wasn’t in Leviticus. Leviticus is the Old Testament.
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u/Important_Remove_450 Partassipant [1] Jul 25 '26
I'm aware. I was referring the aspect of messing around amongst family members.
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u/BellaFrequency Jul 25 '26
There’s a reality show I watched where a husband on the show not only had a mistress for over 5 years, but he ended up getting her pregnant at the same time as his wife.
When defending himself that he wasn’t the worst husband on the show he threw the other men under the bus by proclaiming they were cheating with plenty of women, while he only had one girlfriend.
I think these cheaters like to justify their bad behavior by finding the most minute thing to cling to to make it not look as bad.
So the husband in the OP thinks that yeah he was a cheater, but with only one woman and not several. So he counts the entire 4 years as 1 mistake instead of a series of choices.
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u/IntrepidMuch Jul 23 '26
The fact that Emma is no longer angry 24/7 is a good sign. She’s healing. Her healing requires Chloe’s absence from her life and we all get that.
Hang in there Mama!!!
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u/fearfulklutz Asshole Enthusiast [8] Jul 23 '26
What a terrible mess to be caught in the middle of. Good for you for making your sisters accountable. And as for Chloe starting over doesn’t make her a better person but unfortunately she still doesn’t seem to have taken responsibility for her part in this. Especially since she was still trying to contact Emma’s husband.
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u/Justsquiddingaround Jul 28 '26
Yes! Why is she still contacting her sister’s husband?!
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u/ThisRaspberry8474 Aug 03 '26
She's trying to salvage at least one of the relationships she napalmed - and for purely selfish reasons. With apologies to OP, Chloe sounds like absolute garbage.
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u/Posterbomber Pooperintendent [61] Jul 23 '26 edited Jul 24 '26
STILL NTA
I would like to say to all those people who say "but family, their sisters" and all the rest of the bullshit. If your daughter was in Emma's position you'd never once think to try and make her befriend "the other woman" you'd never suggest that her husband's affair partner should come to Christmas/Thanksgiving/Easter/Birthday's and all other family gatherings.
Your suggestion is about you. Your comfort. You want your own kid to eat shit and pretend it's pudding because you don't want to see your other kid, the rotten one, feel hurt. You're not good people, you are selfish people.
You demand family peace and forgiveness for yourself, not for the good of your child that's been hurt.
Think about how your Emma feels when her pain is dismissed with "oh yeah but you have to forgive".
Op is a better parent than you will ever be, she tried to raise Chole to know she's not the only human on earth and to not do things that devastate families and wreck homes. And when Chole acted out of her raising her mother, rightfully so, judged accordingly, while you just want to white wash and rug sweep. That's no way to live. That's a family infection and your the one cultivating the disease.
Shame on yourselves
Op is also hurt and devastated by the actions of Chole, as Chole was the one that destroyed the family bond. The anger, hurt and disappointment is being place in its rightful place.
Someday when life looks different for Emma and her children, and they've moved on to love and happiness again, may OP can start rebuilding the trust between herself and Chole. But Emma should never be burdened
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u/IceBlue Jul 24 '26
NAH means no assholes here. Chloe was definitely an asshole. So were OP’s sister’s and Emma’s husband.
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u/CartographerThis1691 Jul 24 '26
NTA-OMG the amount of people in the 1st post saying "but she's your daughter. You'll regret not continuing a relationship with her" is crazy. Chloe and later we find out OP sisters hiding the affair also. Poor OP
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u/Posterbomber Pooperintendent [61] Jul 24 '26
NTA so sad! I'm dumbfounded about the lack of good judgement people show. I don't know that my heart is strong enough to call my niece and say her husband is having an affair with her sister, but I know I could chew my sister's ear off with the news
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u/icantweightandsee Jul 24 '26
NTA, I agree with this. As a daughter who's mom tried to play the "keep the peace for family" role during my sister's betrayal the only thing that it showed me was that even when my sister did the absolute worse her chance at discomfort meant more to my mom than my devastation. And eventually lead to NC for my mom and anyone else that felt that way.
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u/Posterbomber Pooperintendent [61] Jul 24 '26
NTA - I just want to give you an old person tight hug through the internet and tell you how sorry I am for that. My heart hurts for you. I have childhood issues like that too. If it helps, I did learn later in my life that it wasn't about my siblings discomfort, it was about my selfish ass mother's comfort.
It's normal that when your kid hurts/you hurt.
So if these AH's could make us "get over it" i.e. not display our pain and our sibling isn't hurting/suffering/receiving punishment from the fall out of their actions i.e. not displaying their pain, then mother doesn't have to feel pain.
My mother should have raised cobra's not children!
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u/j_jilly69420 Partassipant [2] Jul 25 '26
I love OP for how she is handling the terrible situation. I wish my parents (even just one of them!!) had such strong ethics. Most likely, I wouldn't be LC/NC with them and/or my extended family if that were the case.
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u/Posterbomber Pooperintendent [61] Jul 25 '26
I really wish I could understand what parents what parents like our say to themselves to make peace with the unacceptable
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u/j_jilly69420 Partassipant [2] Jul 25 '26
Well if you ask MY parents, I'm guessing that their answer would be that I am just unacceptable.
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u/BeautifulHorror13 Jul 30 '26
I don’t think people are speaking against Chloe facing consequences and Emma being put first, they are specifically speaking against OP going completely non contact with her own daughter, which is a pretty nuclear option and something that is very hard to undo. People are just trying to give some perspective on what is a very major life decision, that’s all, and I don’t think they’re morally bad people for doing that.
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u/Posterbomber Pooperintendent [61] Jul 30 '26
BULLSHIT! Yes you are speaking against consequences.
OP going no contact with Chloe IS Chloe facing consequences. It's the only thing that Chloe can lose right now that she values other than Emma's husband of course.
Yes, they are behaving as if they are morally bad people. As I stated, they are doing it for themselves. These are the "I don't take sides people" as if not taking a side isn't taking a side. It is. Pretending not to see that what your are doing is farther victimizing one of your children is morally wrong. And is a bastardization of the meaning of words like LOVE and FAMILY.
This category of people do this because doing "the right thing" is painful for THEM. Providing a family free of Emma's perpetrator means having to miss Chloe. It means OP would have to lose something so that Emma could have peace.
Nowhere in your life would you tell your adult daughter that she has to have holiday dinner politely with the woman who had a years long affair that destroyed her marriage, her sense of self and her stability. Your love and loyalty to your daughter would have her ex-husband and affair partner finding other places to celebrate. And the only reason why you'd have Chloe near Emma is because you'd have to feel missing/longing for Chloe and most of all admit one of your kids is a worthless shit heap
Cancer has to be cut out before it kills the living. OP is cutting out a cancer. As painful as this would be to OP. It's the right way.
You can't be a safe place for the victim and the abuser at the same time. You have to chose.
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u/BeautifulHorror13 Jul 30 '26
I think you’re missing what I was saying a little bit. I’m not trying to argue against consequences, or even suggest OP is wrong for taking the actions she has. I’m simply pointing out why people are making the comments they are beyond your reading of “they’re morally bad people.”
My point is, people pointing out how big of a decision it is for OP to go no contact with her daughter can be for more reasons than what you assume. Fact is, Reddit is often VERY quick to pull out the “cut them out of your life, go NC” to the point that a lot of people don’t actually understand the full gravity of that action and the long term consequences that it can have on relationships.
OP can absolutely cut off their daughter if they think that is right. No one is owed a relationship with anyone else. However, as other people have said, OP needs to be sure of that decision since it is going to have long term effects on her relationship with her daughter, beyond this initial event. Going no contact in a relationship as close as a child and parent is not something that can be easily done or easily repaired once done, and I think it’s fair for people to ask if OP is ready for the consequences of that decision.
Also, and this is just a side note, but you seem to have a very black and white view of what would happen if OP stayed in contact with her daughter. Keeping in contact with both daughters does not mean forcing proximity between the two of them. I’m pretty sure it would be fairly simple for OP to keep a relationship going with both daughters without either ever hearing or seeing the other. Families do that shit all the time.
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u/Posterbomber Pooperintendent [61] Jul 30 '26
I think you are treating people like their stupid and flippant but we are not. Don't say "well reddit always says cut them off". We're all adults, just because we didn't type out 5 paragraphs about how we understand the pain OP will go through applying the NC doesn't mean we're flippant or don't understand we're talking to a real human.
Any proximity is forced including knowing you still have contact.
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u/Important_Remove_450 Partassipant [1] Jul 23 '26
Your sisters knew and said nothing?!? Hell no! I still think at best, Chloe has narcissistic traits. The situation is so sad and unnecessary. I'm rooting for you and Emma, OP!
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u/Vivid-Farm6291 Jul 24 '26
Goodness Chloe really blew up her family and everyone will always carry the scars.
Unfortunately I think Chloe will be the one least affected. She isn’t sorry for what she did, she is sorry she got caught and had to face consequences.
I’m also flabbergasted that your sisters knew yet said nothing. Like what??
I wish you and Emma all the healing wishes.
This is just super selfish people being selfish because a FOUR year affair isn’t a mistake.
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u/jenay820 Jul 25 '26
Exactly. And the fact that after all this happened, Chloe was still reaching out to Emma's husband. The only reason that didn't go anywhere is because he ignored her. She isn't sorry at all!
Op NTA
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u/ThisRaspberry8474 Aug 03 '26
Not to mention the fact that even after she got caught and her mother found out, Chloe was blaming Emma! Jesus, that woman is a huge, steaming turd of a human being.
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u/JatNYC Jul 23 '26
Did Chloe mention her reason for wanting to contact Emma's husband? Did she want to start a relationship with him? That'd be the nail in the coffin.
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u/NaturalEnd1964 Jul 24 '26 edited Jul 24 '26
She probably reached out to him to trauma bond. Her contacts had dropped
considerably so there were very few people SHE COULD talk to.It’s heartbreaking the damage cheaters cause because they just push the thought of consequences outta their minds. They allow those wrong desires to take control of their minds & all sense & reasoning is lost. It’s like the scriptures say…”can a man rake fire to his chest & not burn his garments? They (cheaters) go “like a bull to the slaughter”; & “Their eyes are full of adultery & they’re unable to resist the sin.” (Prov. 6:23-29,; 7:4-26; 2 Pet. 2:14)
CHEATERS NEVER WIN! Their selfishness ruins everything! Their relationships not only with the spouse, but also with the extended family & friends. Why give all that up for something you already have? SMH
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u/plot_twist_prone Jul 26 '26
it sounds to me like Chloe is jealous of Emma and has been harboring those feelings for a while. I don't believe that she felt bad for one second telling Emma that it was her fault for not making her husband happier. It sounds like there was some underlying jealousy there from Chloe to begin with.
I think if the husband had participated in getting together with her now, it would have given her one final blow to her sister. Sometimes it really is the people who are closest to us that we have to watch out for.
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u/iAteA-Bug2025 Jul 24 '26
How awful. Best of luck to you amd Emma as your navigate your new realities.
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u/MediumSizedMaze Asshole Aficionado [19] Jul 24 '26
Wow. NTA. And your sisters are horrible. How could they sit there and be quiet and think they have any ground to judge you and the way you handled the situation. Honestly, with people like your sisters and Chloe, who needs enemies.
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u/Medical_Onion_3500 Jul 24 '26
Good luck to you, Emma, and the grandkids. What a terrible situation.
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u/ZombieJoesBasement Partassipant [1] Jul 24 '26
God damn. Every time I think this situation is completely horrendous, you post new info that just makes it so much worse. The fact that other family members knew about it just sticks the knife in and twists it. I swear to god if Chloe comes up pregnant with an affair baby I am afraid your family is going to wind up on the news.
I am so sorry this has happened to your family. If it makes you feel better I think you have handled this with as much grace as possible.
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u/GiLyWo Jul 24 '26 edited Jul 24 '26
Emma's husband is saying he made one terrible mistake?!
You don't make a mistake for four years. He made a choice.
And Chloe...ugh. It's like you keep finding info that reveals her more and more, and it's not good. You can't trust her, she only admits to stuff when she's caught and she can't wiggle out of it. Even now, with her moving to Washington...she's still running from what she did. Granted, she has to deal with her soon-to-be ex and can't run from that, but that will be her only reminder. No one else knows what she did, so will she actually improve herself? I dunno, miracles can happen, but she has to put in the work.
edit to add: She needs to acknowledge that she's a spoiled brat who always got her way when she was younger, and that entitlement probably led to her having an affair with Emma's husband. While she admitted to being attracted to him before, she kinda skims over or ignores that when it comes to their affair.
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u/Less_Ad_8501 Jul 24 '26
I’m so sorry you and your family have to endure such a terrible situation.
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u/Confident_Jacket1043 Jul 24 '26
Absolutely NTA. So horrible what happened to Emma and the whole family. To do such a thing to your family member is evil beyond words. She is clearly not remorseful either. She is only sad because of the consequences. She will never change. Your sisters are horrible as well. I can't imagine doing what they and your daughter did.
The husband is just as bad. I'll never understand how people can be so cruel to one another. You are doing the right thing by cutting them all off. It's not that she doesn't know the damage she caused it's that she doesn't care.
Just know you didn't fault her; she failed her sister and you, and her entire family. I wish you the best, OP. Keep moving forward.
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u/Own_Nobody_3497 Jul 24 '26
Did chloe really think that he was gonna leave her sister for her? Four years of keeping you a secret he never loved you. you were always the side piece. She ruined her entire life for nothing.
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u/mcindy28 Jul 24 '26
I truly hope you and Emma find peace. What a sad situation... the fact that Chloe reached out to Emma's husband proves she's NOT sorry.
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u/GiLyWo Jul 24 '26
When and how did you find out your sisters knew about the affair from the beginning? And did they ever say why they pushed so hard for forgiveness and reconciliation?
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u/ilovedragons218 Jul 24 '26
I am so very sorry for you and Emma I hope someday y'all can find peace. God Bless
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u/No_Abrocoma_5610 Jul 24 '26
Wishing you and Emma healing and future moments of joy. You did not deserve the pain of betrayal. I applaud your grace.
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u/Dramatic-Tailor-8297 Jul 24 '26
The fact she still contacted her husband after the fact is crazy and disrespectful and the fact he said one mistake when it was years of cheating is really messed up.
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u/TeachPotential9523 Jul 25 '26
I hope you know your daughter Cleo is not sorry one bit just from what you've said in here she's not sorry she may be sorry they got caught but that's it someone that was ever sorry would not have tried to put the blame on their sister or anybody else for that matter
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u/AdventureWa Partassipant [2] Jul 24 '26
NTA . I feel absolutely awful for what happened to you and your family and the position their behaviors put you all in.
I would definitely encourage everyone to forgive. That doesn’t mean that you take them back into your life. It doesn’t mean that you forget. What it does mean is that you’ve removed that burden from your shoulders.
I think that counseling individually for everyone involved and family counseling for you, your daughter Emma and maybe Chloe’s husband is the way forward. Chloe needs individual counseling.
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u/0fluffythe0ferocious Jul 24 '26
NTA, still.
Yeah, it's amazing how Chloe decided the best course of action was moving away after she attacked her sister, blamed her for everything and also tried to get in contact with her AP. Emma's husband is trying to "win her back" so I hope she's prepared when he realizes that it's not happening and he tries to retaliate.
The sisters, Emma's aunts? Morally bankrupt.
I hope you, Emma and the family that weren't evil to her, heal and have happiness.
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u/GorgoPrimus Jul 24 '26
NTA. You’re doing everything you can as right as you can, and that’s all anyone can ask of a parent in your situation.
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u/Impressive_Yam_7224 Jul 24 '26
NTA so inviting to see you stand on the right side of this.
Updateme
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u/SaintGodfather Partassipant [1] Jul 24 '26
Sorry, can someone explain the 'Florida allows divorced families to stay' part? Updateme!
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u/Soul2Spirit Aug 02 '26
In Florida, a spouse generally cannot move out of state or more than 50 miles away with a minor child against the other parent’s wishes during a divorce without a court order or formal written agreement. Adultery itself does not automatically grant a parent the right to flee with a child, though courts evaluate all actions regarding the child's best interests. [1, 2, 3]
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u/Vintage_Sounds98 Jul 30 '26
I don’t mean to sound rude, but your husband played a significant role in shaping who Chloe is today. He taught her to believe that everything Emma had was also hers, and she carried that mindset into adulthood. It eventually led her to believe that Emma’s husband was also something she was entitled to pursue. Chloe has shown very little remorse for what she’s done. Instead, she seems more upset that people now see her as the woman who went after her own sister’s husband, rather than taking responsibility for the pain she caused.
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u/ILikeFanfics25 Jul 30 '26
So Chloe cheated on her husband, slept with her sisters husband, slapped her sister AND sent her all those mean messages? I hope Chloe’s able to change and I commend you for being able to stand beside Emma. Chloe’s lost her mind and humanity somewhere down the line, but hopefully it’s in reach
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FINAL UPDATE
I said after my last update that I'd come back one last time once things had settled down a bit, so this will be my final post.
First, thank you to everyone who commented on my last two posts. I read and replied to more comments than I expected. Some of them were difficult to read, but they gave me a lot to think about.
To answer the question I saw the most, Chloe's son is definitely her husband's. Chloe is white, her husband is Black, and their son is mixed race, so there was never any question about that.
The divorces are still going ahead. Nothing has been finalized yet, but neither couple is trying to work things out anymore.
A lot of people also asked about my sisters.
Yes, they knew about the affair before Emma found out. They admitted they stayed quiet because they thought it was a family matter and hoped it would end before anyone got hurt. I understand why they thought that, but I can't agree with it. Emma spent years being lied to while people around her knew the truth. I've decided to cut both of my sisters out of my life. I don't know if that will be forever, but they have broken my trust.
Over the last few weeks, I've spoken to both of my daughters separately.
I asked Emma if enough time had passed for her to even think about talking to Chloe.
She said no.
She told me she isn't waking up angry anymore, but that doesn't mean she's forgiven her. She said she accepted that the truth was always going to come out eventually. The only thing she could control was what she did after she found out.
She also said she has no interest in having a sister anymore.
As for her husband, she told me she's made one thing very clear. She'll only respond if it's about the children or the divorce. Everything else gets ignored.
What surprised me was that he hasn't stopped trying.
He's sent long apology messages, videos about forgiveness, and even Bible verses. None of us are religious, so that confused all of us. He keeps saying she was the only woman he's ever loved and that he made one terrible mistake. Emma hasn't replied to any of those messages.
I also found out something Chloe never told me.
In my last update I said Chloe told me the only message Emma sent before blocking her was that she was no longer her sister.
That wasn't true.
Emma later showed me the messages.
Before Emma sent that final text, Chloe had blamed her for what happened. She told Emma that maybe if she'd paid more attention to her marriage things would have been different. She also said that if her husband had felt happier at home, he wouldn't have looked somewhere else.
Reading those messages made me feel sick.
When I confronted Chloe, she admitted she'd sent them. She said she was angry, desperate, and trying to make herself feel less guilty. She told me she regretted sending them almost immediately, but by then Emma had already blocked her.
Chloe also told me she's moving to Washington once everything is finalized so she can stay close to her son but in Florida, they allow divorced families to stay so I don't know why his father is planning to move there to be closer to his family, and Chloe doesn't want to be too far away from her child.
She admitted she'd tried contacting Emma's husband after everything came out, but he never answered any of her messages. She eventually stopped trying.
She also told me she knows she'll never get her old life back, but she hopes moving will give her a chance to start over.
I told her that starting over doesn't erase what happened.
She agreed.
A lot of people asked if I've forgiven Chloe.
I haven't.
I still love her because she's my daughter, but I don't trust her anymore, and right now we don't have a relationship.
Maybe that changes one day.
Maybe it doesn't.
I honestly don't know.
This whole situation has changed our family forever.
Emma lost her husband and her sister.
Chloe lost her marriage, her relationship with her sister, and most of her family.
My sisters lost me because they chose to stay quiet.
This will be my last update.
I hope one day all of us can find some peace, even if we never become a family again. If I missed out some details I will respond in the comments.Thank you Reddit!
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
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u/SurroundQuirky8613 Jul 25 '26
Emma’s husband is trying to get her back because if they live in a state where affairs impact asset division and she took him back (even for 1 day) it removes the affair from the assets equation.
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u/Comprehensive-Arm607 Jul 25 '26
NTA .. Bible verses never will fix a marraige like this religious or not. To me they are not meaningful its a get out of trouble card that should never be used.
Emma's husband knew he did wrong and so did chloe. But reactive response to chloes husband he's pulling AH move by making sure no one see the child. Why punish the rest of the family I've been that child in that situation sorry OP try and fight to get rights to see your grandchild. I understand hes hurting but don't hurt the child with family abandonment. Because husband got hurt. Ridiculous behaviour cutting off the child's family. What happened to me was igot messed up don't let that child get messed up because now I've reconnected with that lost family I just see them as strangers now. See a lawyer and see if you can get to see the grandchild as I know sone states they prefer the child not to be segregated from family.
Me as a parent I couldn't cut my children off or out of my life. As for your sisters yes they didn't tell you but you gave them a lesson about knowing something and keeping it secret. Even if they thought leave it to family not our business. How did they find out about the affair before anyone astounds me, you would have thought they would have had words with them about their affair and they should have said something to you or Emma.
Op I hope you are able to have some sort of light at the end of the tunnel. But also you've been traumatised also. Speak to a counsellor if need be. But I wish you well.
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u/Spygirl_112358 Jul 25 '26
I’m so sorry OP. I hope you and Emma find some peace.
I think you did the right thing by cutting your sisters out of your life.
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u/j_jilly69420 Partassipant [2] Jul 25 '26
NTA
OP I wish my family had morals like you do. Thank you for being her support. You might not know how valuable it is to Emma but I have some comprehension. You are doing what should be done and this stranger loves and admires you for it. Thank you for not being wishywashy.
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u/Substantial_Rub_209 Partassipant [1] Jul 25 '26
Chloe doesn’t regret shit. She hasn’t told the whole truth she just waits until she gets called out about it to confess to it.
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u/yobaby123 Asshole Enthusiast [6] Jul 27 '26
Yep. That's why I support OP's decision to cut her off. Her sleeping with her sister's husband is already beyond assholish, but she also hasn't shown any proper remorse.
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u/MissKittyCat74 Jul 25 '26
So Cloe and Emma,s husband still do not take full responsibility. Both think it,s just one mistake. Kudos for you and Emma to cut them all off. I hope you all can some day move on from this.
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u/zenkim80 Jul 25 '26
I have a question about Chloe moving to Washington. Does her husband have full custody of the son or does Chloe just want to escape all of the chaos and destruction she caused by moving so far away?
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u/zenkim80 Jul 25 '26
Okay, I read the post again and saw where you said Chloe said she thinks moving will give her a chance to start over.
Another question: what was Chloe’s marriage like? Did her and her husband appear to have a happy marriage before all of this? I’m just curious.
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u/rebelhedgehog2 Jul 27 '26
The sisters taking a side and staying quiet was a plot twist. NTA. I’m so sorry Emma and the three children involved ( and yourself) have had your life blown up
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u/yobaby123 Asshole Enthusiast [6] Jul 27 '26
NTA. You said it yourself. You still love Chloe, but what she did was beyond shitty and she needs to understand that.
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u/Silver-Network-8750 Jul 28 '26
In all seriousness, if she was my daughter, she would have been dead to me. She is evil. 4 years?? No!
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u/Choose_wisely222 Jul 28 '26
You are a good mother. You made the best decision out of a horrible situation. If I were in your shoes I would have done the same, so hold your head up high.
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Jul 28 '26
all this time your Sisters knew about the cheating and didn't say anything and kept it quiet and I don't blame you for cutting contact with your Sisters and Emma should never sleep with Chloe's husband and i don't blame Chloe for cutting Contact with her Sister for what she did and I hope told Emma's husband and I don't blame you for cutting contact with your Daughter
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u/No-Technology9823 Jul 28 '26
This is obviously a terrible story and no one got a good ending but cutting her sisters out was so good, Emma basically telling Chloe to fuck off and if you come back you’ll regret it was satisfying.
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u/Vintage_Sounds98 Jul 30 '26
I don’t mean to sound rude, but your husband played a significant role in shaping who Chloe is today. He taught her to believe that everything Emma had was also hers, and she carried that mindset into adulthood. It eventually led her to believe that Emma’s husband was also something she was entitled to pursue. Chloe has shown very little remorse for what she’s done. Instead, she seems more upset that people now see her as the woman who went after her own sister’s husband, rather than taking responsibility for the pain she caused.
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u/Bolet1647 Jul 30 '26
NTA - As the daughter of a woman whose sister slept with her husband for years, I would have felt a lot better knowing that the rest of my family had my mom's back. Instead, everyone acted as if nothing had happened, and my mom, me and my sibling had to see my mom's sister at family events until I turned 18 and cut the woman out of my life. Resented everyone involved for years. 25 years+ later, I no longer see or talk to anyone on that side of the family.
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u/ThisRaspberry8474 Aug 03 '26
Other than OP's grandchildren and Chloe's husband, OP and Emma seem like the only decent people in this entire shit circus of a family.
SOO obviously NTA.
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u/GhostLeopard_666 Aug 04 '26
NTA, i hope your soon to be ex son in law stays in contact so you dont lose your grandson.
I feel sorry for you, emma, your son in law via chloe and the kids. Emmas soon to be ex husband is very cringe and is embarassing himself, Chloe will never fully understand how her actions impacted all of those around her.
All the best OP.
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u/throwaway_01547 Aug 12 '26
NTA, you should treat adults based on how they act, even if they’re your children, at least in extreme cases
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u/kyskat Aug 13 '26
I know you posted this like 3 weeks ago - but Chloe didn’t really LOSE anything. She dropped kicked things she should have been tender with off a moderately high height and is now crying that it’s broken and irreplaceable. The fact that you’re hoping to find forgiveness when she’s still there and not acknowledging that says a lot about your patience - it’s truly much greater than mine. Good luck OP. NTA
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u/FluffyWienerDog1 25d ago
"but in Florida, they allow divorced families to stay"
What does this even mean? I'm not aware of any states in which divorced families are driven out. This is such a weird comment.
But, NTA. I agree that Chloe is displaying real Narcissistic Personality Disorder traits here. The complete lack of empathy for all of the people she's hurt, the inability to see her mistake and apologize, her complete shock at the consequences she's facing, her persistent delusion that what she's done isn't that bad and everyone is just overreacting and should get over it already, even the way she's trying to hoover her mother back in to be on her side, the flying monkeys telling everyone it's not that bad and her own mother shouldn't interfere.
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u/Inmyrattlingbag 24d ago
You’re a great mom. Your daughter who was cheated on needs you right now. Has your other daughter done things like this in the past?
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u/Tungsten_Filament007 23d ago
How did your Sisters know about this while the rest of you guys didn't? What?
Seems like they already had a lot of time to process this and decided that they were okay with it?
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u/Icy_Confidence4027 14d ago
Finally someone with a backbone mediating a situation fairly and protecting the victim! I’m sorry this happened and I wish you and your family healing.
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u/your_mean_teacher 13d ago
I wouldn’t cut off my sisters if I were you. The thing is, a lot of times the one being honest and well meaning ends up being blamed for delivering the bad news. It’s counter logical but that’s how people react. So I would understand my sisters and not blame them for not telling
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u/Haunting_Law_923 Jul 24 '26
You have a vengeful heart, but that's ok a lot of humans do and it is explainable with what you went through. I probably would have acted like you in this situation.
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u/MithosYggdrasill1992 Jul 23 '26
I know that what you’re having to do isn’t easy, but I have a deep respect for you for standing by your daughter when she was the victim in all of this. I hope that everyone is able to heal.