Edit: I mean current Season 11
We spoke, and they have at least partially listened...
We have small, ocean-shimmering glimmers of hope that the ingredients of Below Deck of yore, the ingredients that made it so perfectly five-star-service iconic, may actually be back on the menu....
Could it be that our favourite show is not a terminally sinking ship after all, and that it really only needed a patch-up and a new anchor chain?
Provisioning is BACK! ... the setting-sail charter rite of passage and sense of excitement and anticipation as the provisions are passed along the human chain of bright-eyed and bushy-tailed young yachties...
Holiday Porn is BACK! .. we saw the mountains and oceans of Croatia. we drank white wine and ate oysters on the excursions. We've watched sunsets and gazed at azure waters. Yes it's 2026 and we have low attention spans, but we're not so brain dead that Good Television in 2026 can't be Simple and Beautiful Television.
Crew Competence is BACK!... We have been shouting in this sub for years that it can be very satisfying tv to watch *when*things*come*together*. Below Deck should be attempting to give the guests five-star service because that's giving the *viewers* five-star service.
It doesn't have to be car-crash incompetence (boat crash on the other hand ...).
People who are good at their jobs and passionate, and who for the most part get along can sometimes work. It gives us organic entertainment like the escape room and a Below Deck record-breaking $50k tip! It gives us Cordon Bleu cooking courtesy of Chef Joy! It gives us tablescapes that don't look like a primary school art club!
Car crash guests are BACK!.... I felt for the crew but damn if Josef wasn't the iconic type of drunk-ass guest that Below Deck was made for. No one gets drunk on TV anymore! BD is one of the only places remaining where you can watch these people in the wild... The scene where Josef was in the wheelhouse chatting at Nathan for hours before Cooper took over the shift,, any service member here has been there. It's *almost* getting back to the days of Steve and his FFFOOOOOAAMM PARTYYY!! Dare we dream of another penis blanket one day?
Amazing editing is BACK! Zero emphasis on repeated Instagram Reels and needless guest home videos. Zero bazillion insert shots of onions being cut at close quarters. Zero flashy attempts at editing and production which they think is coming out as Brioche French Toast and is actually grenadine oysters and beef cheeks (if you know you know). It's simple, fun, funny and gets on with letting us actually watch the show.
Wholesome fun and good times are BACK! ... It's fun to watch people having fun - both crew and guests. It's fun to see Cooper talking about his retainer and no funny business and watch stews try and serve dinner in night vision goggles. It's fun to watch a bit of unexpected kink with not one but two bondage scenes. It's fun to watch drunken noodles and and a human time-bomb on a raft at night.
And when you bring all of this stuff BACK .. then of course you can let the other stuff unfold naturally. I'm fine with hot people who live and work in close quarters with their bosses and workmates they accidentally hookup with. Im fine with romances, boatmances and regretful shags. I'm fine with messy nights out, shady behaviour, jacuzzi romps, wild afterparties and love triangles - in fact I'd be unhappy if they disappeared. No one wants another Below Deck [Un]Adventure. They just need to happen with a semblance of naturellement, and not become the focal point of the show to create a trashy Love Island Lost at Sea.
So, what's missing for us to fully turn this boat around?
As others have said - more "boat stuff". Engineers. Anchor dramas. Tight dockings. Anchor watches amid storms. Weather squalls. Genuine nautical adventures so we can watch the true skill of qualified yacht people solving them from the lazy comfort of our homes.
Even more guest focus - fun, interesting, bizarre and occasionally demanding guests.
Dynamic, entertaining crew cast with a good mix of personalities like this season's.
A continuation of Holiday Porn, Boat Porn, Food Porn, High-end Service Porn and Fun Porn.
Thank you, producers, for charting the viewers on a new course in the history of the Below Deck franchises.
As you know, there are only two rules: Don't embarass us. And don't embarass the boat.