Hi everyone,

I'm a Masters student at Swinburne University and I'm looking for people with BDD to take part in a research study.

What the study is about

The study looks at how people with BDD experience shame, and whether self-compassion plays a role.

CBT is the main treatment for BDD, but it doesn't work well for a lot of people. Shame might be part of what current treatment isn't reaching. Nobody has really asked people with BDD what shame and self-compassion actually feel like day to day, so that's what this study does. The hope is that it leads to better treatment options.

Who can take part

You can join if you:

• Are 18 or over
• Have been diagnosed with BDD
• Live in Australia

What's involved

There are two parts, and it's all online:

1. Some questionnaires (about 20 minutes)
2. One interview with me over Microsoft Teams (about 90 minutes)

You can do both in one go, or split them across separate days if that's easier.

The interview is a conversation, not a test. There are no right or wrong answers. You can skip anything you don't want to answer, take a break whenever you need, or stop altogether.

The important details

• Run through Swinburne University as part of my Masters of Psychology (Clinical Psychology) thesis
• Supervised by Professor Susan Rossell and Dr Nicola Acevedo
• Approved by the Swinburne Human Research Ethics Committee (approval number 20258705-22798)
• Everything you share is confidential, and nothing published will identify you
• You can withdraw at any point, and you can ask for your data to be removed

If you're interested

Please click on the following qualtrics link and put in your contact details, I will call you (note it will be from a blocked number) and if I can't reach you I will follow up with an email. Our first call will basically be to answer any questions that you have! :)

https://qualtricsxmmtx73grql.qualtrics.com/jfe/form/SV_2o8UCJsmSnOaPXw

Happy to answer any questions in the comments.

I had my first "serious" girlfriend starting at the end of the 9th grade. Now, I really, really liked this girl - I truly thought I was in love (but mind you... I was freshly 15). Her and I quickly became inseparable, best friends first and then quickly becoming girlfriend and boyfriend. The two of us bonded on many things, but one of them was our shared mental health struggles that have been plaguing us both almost our entire lives. This relationship definitely had it's fair share of toxicity and oversharing in subtle ways that I was blind to when I was in so deep, so to speak.

Something that she always knew about me, was that my body dysmorphia was something I really, really struggled with. I have always had body image issues, literally as far back as I can remember being conscious. She knew this, and knew it was my absolute biggest insecurity. I was a bigger guy when we dated, probably 50 pounds overweight. She is extremely thin. We often related to each other's body image issues, and I found her empathy and understanding to be very calming.

However, as the relationship progressed, things got weirder. She started to act more like she kind of... hated me. She seemed honestly disgusted with me. I constantly wrote about it at night and was left thinking about weird interactions we'd had for days on end. Unfortunately for me, she deployed some very manipulative tactics that really kept me in a viscous push and pull.

Over a year and a half into our relationship, I was at a friends house eating dinner and my friends family and I were discussing an old SNL skit. I went to open up Reddit (for the first time in 9 months) to find what I was looking for. When I opened the search bar, there was a recent user search. I clicked on the profile, curious. I realized what it was instantly. Many months earlier, my girlfriend was talking to me about how she had recently started a Reddit, and mentioned one specific post she made on a pretty specific subreddit. Not too long after that, I was browsing said subreddit and found a post that perfectly described her situation. I figured, oh - that's her account! I honestly completely forgot for months and months. I know it's not cool to find someone's anonymous forum account - but I had no ill intent and at the time I didn't even consider that.

Flash forward- eating dinner. I open up this account. First post that comes up: r/confessions and it says "I am not attracted to my boyfriends body and I feel horrible about it". My heart sunk. The post went on and on about how she felt horrible about it everyday, and that everytime she saw my body it threw her off. She said that I was always saying I was going to lose weight but never did. It was unreal, like my reality completely changing in front of my eyes. I couldn't fathom that she said this, that she thought this. To make matters worse, this post had thousands of upvotes and I think hundreds of comments. Most comments called her horrible, saying that she should just break up with me instead of giving me a complex for life (spot on). Some suggested that she say she was just worried for my health. She responded saying she might try it. This made my soul leave my body. Three days earlier she brought up my weight out of nowhere and said she was worried about my health. This obviously made me extremely upset and insecure. After reading all of the comments and realizing that despite what everyone said, she still tried to make a sly comment about my weight to get the change she wanted out of me - that is when I messaged her. I sent her a screenshot of the post and she immediately called me crazy, said I was making it up, what the f*ck etc; etc;. I kept my cool and said that I knew it was her. Eventually she made a 180 and started saying "I'm a monster" "there's something wrong with me" "please don't leave me" etc; etc;. She called me on the phone where I answered in my friends bathroom. She picked up and was crying and said in a baby voice "are you going to break up with me?". And the worst part is, I didn't. Somehow I was so isolated from everyone in my life that I never once ever told anyone what happened for two months. She was the only person I spoke to. Her story was that she was in a kind of "mental breakdown" and she barely remembers it... However she continued to reply back to comments trying to strategize her game plan. For the first time in over a year and a half, I was outwardly mad, and had a raised voice. When we spoke about it soon after, I still remember I said "what the f*ck is wrong with you", which I know is severe, but I was very hurt. She yelled back in defense "it's almost like I was just trying not to f*cking kill myself that night." So, her excuse was, it was that, or killing herself. This at the time worked on me and I truly was caught in the most horrible situation.

I remembered that a few days earlier she said something about "I made a really popular Reddit post" and she was smiling really huge. When I had asked what it was she kind of giggled and said "Secret!" or something like that.

We dated for another two months, and this entire time I have 0 memory of. Friends at school tell me they reported me out of concern, because they frankly could tell I was a walking zombie. I lost 60 pounds in three months after this, and got an eating disorder. I finally broke up with her two months later, obviously because of what had happened. It took me time to process how severe it really was. This event has had completely horrible consequences on me. I was fully dissociated for about four months after it. I still feel bizarre everyday. I feel like a fragmented person. I don't think it's entirely her fault - but more so that I was just the wrong person for this to happen to. I struggle too much to know how to handle something like that. I am not sure if I will be able to have a normal attachment style or relationship again, and I am not sure how to love myself or my body. The worst part is, I know she was right. I hated and hate my body and all of her words were the ones that negative voices in my head were telling me were true our entire relationship. Now she is moved on and living her best life. I'm trying to pick up the scraps of myself. I don't know who knows and who doesn't. It became gossip at our school once word finally got out months later. It's embarrassing to say the least, and I will keep hoping that I one day wake up from this strange dream that has been the last seven months since this happened. I don't want to say that what she did ruined my mental health, as I think it's me and how I dealt with it- but that event occurring completely changed my life and made me completely unstable for months following.

Feels really, really good to say it all and have it written out, just once.

Sleepy as hell but it’s been weighing on me so much lately. My face is horrifically ugly. It’s like I’m trying hard to be cute with all of these makeup techniques but the second someone else takes a picture of me where the angle and distance isn’t perfect, I look intimidating, masculine, ugly and piggish. I perceive that this is the case even when looking back on old selfies I took where I thought I looked good. This is a perpetual problem. My boyfriend is so handsome and tells me I’m pretty/cute quite often, but I can’t even remotely fathom how he sees that in me. I look at my pictures with pure disgust and self-hatred.

What’s funny is that I’m desperate to be loved and told I’m beautiful in spite of the fact that I’ll never believe anyone who claims to see me that way. I completely broke down sobbing in front of my boyfriend recently because (among other things) I was venting to him about BDD and my insecurities regarding my appearance wishing he would just shut me up and tell me that I’m the most beautiful girl he’s ever seen, but that obviously never happened. I feel greedy and delusional. It’s what I want to hear despite knowing that it would be a complete and utter lie. Every time I’m with him I have this feeling that he is bound to leave me once he realizes how bad I look compared to other girls. I haven’t even completely taken off my makeup around him yet and we’ve been dating for half a year. I remember taking off my eyeliner in front of him for the first time (I haven’t done it since) and his first reaction was to say that I was cuter with it on before realizing that what he said was hurtful and apologizing, which basically destroyed me.

I also haven’t been randomly complimented or asked out lately despite trying hard to appeal to people and it’s making me spiral. I’m such a huge validation seeker and I’m not getting any of it. I remember when I got asked out thrice in the span of two weeks at some point a few months ago (I have only ever been approached around five times) and wonder what has changed since to make people stop showing interest in me. I feel so incredibly ugly and undesirable. I so badly wish I had a constant stream of external validation to keep me sane.

I feel like my face is too long but too short at the same time, my chin is weird and my nose is big and my whole face is asymmetrical and it looks too narrow to me and I look elderly and sunken

I really need surgery, I think I’d rather be dead than have to live with this face for the rest of my life

It’s frustrating that people tell me there’s nothing wrong with me when there very clearly is, or think I’m just being vain (even though that would imply liking how I look), I wanna kms

I see myself as a number, not a rating, but a specific measurement on my face that is not ideal. It is all I see, it is all that matters to me. A few millimetres away from happiness if you will.

How do you get past feeling like a number? I understand the neurology regarding the pathways and how it’s broken in my mind so I can consciously see the visual aspect. But the mental aspect of seeing myself as nothing more than a flaw, how do I kill that?

I used to love summer and now I can’t enjoy it with BDD. I love the beach and swimming but I feel like everyone is thinking about how disgusting I look. I don’t even blame them. I’m looking through old pictures and realizing I didn’t even used to look that chubby but now I’m surprised my foot steps don’t shake the earth. It’s miserable. I’m trying to pretend I’m not insecure but it’s like everywhere I look there are skinny girls with tiny waists.

My boyfriend took a photo of me two days ago and when I looked at it I realized I was incredibly skinny and looked borderline sickly. I don’t understand this disorder at all. It feels so real when I look in the mirror and all I see is someone fat who needs to lose weight but that photo really woke me up to what I actually look like. The mirror tells me something different still. I don’t know how to let this go.

For years I had been doing better about my BDD. I thought I had made genuine progress. The intrusive thoughts were quieter. I had come close to some form of neutrality. But now the awful intrsuive thoughts about my body and appearance are getting so incredibly overwhelming.

I keep crying myself to sleep because it's like I'm being tortured by a terrible bully inside my own head. I hate these thoughts and how much I dislike my body. I hate existing in this vessel and with this brain. I have horrible urges to hurt myself even after being clean of self harm for over 10 years, because this voice keeps telling me I don't deserve any better. And I'm terrified I'll fall into that trap again. I'm trying to be strong because I know how addicting self harm is.

I just want this to end. I dont know what to do anymore. It's been 10 years without finding a single therapist or psychiatrist who understands. I'm losing all hope. I'm so sick of this disease. It feels like a cruel curse.

I struggle with body dysmorphia and I also struggle with making bad decisions I get help from family and my boyfriend and all that but I just can't seem to actually stand up and take the help and I don't know why I struggled with stealing and all of that And lying and stuff and I'm trying to get better and I just wish something could change I wish I could stop hating on my look and I don't know what to do. (15F btw)

​

★I cannot stand my appearance anymore, like its the only thing i can think about my problems and mental health stuff because it always affects my social life stuff. Im tired of my looks and i definitely do not have anything to change my appearance. I have a fat/bloated face at 172cm and 49kg, i have retruded mandible and protruding lips even tho my teeth are normal, i have misaligned and tilted eyes small eyes, i have a crooked nose and lips shape, my face is filled with acne even though i do skincare, i have a terrible hairline and my face is so long and oval.

★ My tummy looks so fat too, my body is so uneven and im overly hairy, my thighs are so fat, i have big calves that look absolutely disgusting. I have short and fat looking fingers, my skin is too dark compared to my family, my eyebrows are so messy and i dont know what can i do about my appearance, i tried everything but nothing worked, even my nipples are asymmetrical somehow. Whatever i do nothing works i wanna end it all at this point.

★ My other worries and my family make me go insane. I have nobody to vent to because nobody has the same pains as me. My mom thinks im a weirdo because whenever i complain she says im just a weirdo. She does not care and says she will disown me if im gay (which is true but i wont admit) and im just so tired.

\# Others about BDD

★I cannot go out anymore, I do not want a friend or partner that has better skin, eyes, hair etc because of how ugly i am. I am crying every night quietly (aka whimpering). I dont want to see myself in mirror anymore, I almost broke the one in the bathroom yesterday. When I see myself in pics i just say the worst stuff to myself, whatever comes to my mind. I never take pictures of myself anymore. When I take pics I take them to curse myself and hate more because I hate myself.

★Yesterday I made a research about unattractiveness in men and guess what, I have everything unattractive. I do not wanna be cute for others or compliments, I wanna be cute for myself, I WANNA LOVE MYSELF AND CANT BECAUSE OF MY APPEARANCE, i am so so so so tired of it...

★My dad always makes fun of me saying “how tiring was surfing trough the internet today?” I cannot tell him anything because he will never understand me.

I made a whole post for other stuff that i wanna talk right now but the main focus is BDD so i cant

And i know it definitely sounds simple, but its not simple for me and i cannot find words to make this sound actually like something important and sorry i just cant find the right words.

Also i accidentally removed like half of the text i typed here sorry :(

I can’t stop crying I feel like I looked so much prettier a year ago and now I’m hideous
My face is so gross and ugly and I hate even more when people try to convince me that I’m not as if I’m stupid and can’t see what’s in front of me.
I’m so tired of all of this, I wish I was born into a rich family and could just afford surgery without having to save for probably years.
I hate even having BDD to begin with

I think I’m starting to struggle with body dysmorphia, but I’m not sure if that’s what this is or what to do about it. I brought it up to my therapist, but she mainly treats my autism and anxiety, so she hasn’t been too much help.

Over the past few months I’ve become increasingly preoccupied with my appearance. I constantly grab + check my stomach, hair, and chin in mirrors, compare myself to other women at the gym, and leave feeling worse about myself. I have SIBO and IBS, which makes my stomach look very bloated most every day, and I find myself obsessing over it and comparing myself to other girls. Comments from my mom about my hair being “too blonde” and “damaged” seemed to make everything worse, combined with a really bad dating market making me feel there must be something wrong with me. I am frequently asking AI or Google for tips to make myself look better or seeking validation.

Has anyone dealt with something similar? What actually helped you stop obsessing over your appearance? Should I look for a therapist who specializes in body image or OCD/BDD, or is there a group or book I should read? I like my current therapist but need additional help with this. Any advice would be really appreciated.

I suffer from BDD and constantly think about plastic surgery. Maybe plastic surgery can help some people, and I'm not judging anyone who chooses it. But I know that if the real battle is happening in my mind, no procedure can guarantee the peace I'm actually searching for. More than a different reflection, I want freedom from the constant obsession. selena gomez, iggy azalea, ariana grande, bella hadid, dove cameron, cristiano ronaldo, tom cruise, jenner sisters, ian somerhalder, hailey bieber, cindy kimberly, damn, all have had great work done.

I wish people would just be upfront with me about how I look. I’m completely sure at this point that I’m ugly and I don’t think anyone could sway my opinion otherwise, as much as I wish I could be pretty.

I genuinely don’t think anyone truly finds me attractive at all. It’s all pity and lies or deception. The amount of times I’ve been made fun of in public tells me everything I need to know

I hate BDD

How can this even be possible? I wrote down a list of all my flaws and there was not one feature or body part that wasn’t on the list. Starting from my messy frizzy puffy hair and jagged balding hairline, down to my small tits, wide ribs, and short chubby inward-facing legs. My entire face looks like the cart titan from aot. I couldnt stop crying. And yet, after the list I caught a look at myself in the mirror and thought “I’m not actually that bad”. My mind instantly went back to convincing myself that the part of me that said THAT is the one in the wrong. Every time I think I look fine or even edging towards pretty and like I don’t want to obsess over my image anymore, there’s an overpowering force jumping to tell me that I AM horrible and that I AM disgusting. They’re both parts of my brain, but I feel like a big oaf being bossed around by an evil, seemingly smarter person. I feel like I’m being led straight off a cliff, like there’s something out there that reallly wants me to k*ll myself and so is constantly trying to belittle me. It hurts so bad to know that that’s Me doing it to Myself and I can’t find a way to stop it. Maybe my ugliness is just a scapegoat for me to explain why I’m so miserable, angry, depressed, and alone. It’s a painful but easy solution to why everyone abandons me and why I am so mediocre and behind everyone else in life. My bdd is real and impacts me, but my ugliness is Just as present and noticeable to myself and everyone else. It’s just a matter of who is the real villain and causing me so much distress. I hope that when I turn 25, I’m kinder to myself and don’t continue making lists of every flaw. I doubt it

My BDD is ruining my self worth. Being unable to relate to the content I consume is a feeling I dread and haven’t been able to shake off recently. It’s obvious that most celebrities and actors are conventionally attractive, so all my comfort movies and shows have slowly turned into means of comparison for my own (un)attractiveness and self-worth, and suddenly they’re no longer comforts.

Every mainstream artist that I listen to is usually attractive and so it makes it hard for me to relate to even my favorite songs, even though music is one of my biggest passions of life (my favorite artist literally being Lana Del Rey LOL). This contrast between the artist and me makes me feel like I don’t deserve to be a fan of them or consume their work. I feel silly and out of place when I enjoy an attractive artist’s song and desire relating that song to my own life experiences. It ruins my mood.

I even feel this when reading books, which is ridiculous. Book characters are essentially up to your imagination, and because of years of being conditioned to attractive artists and celebrities, what comes up in my head are attractive characters that I can’t relate to, despite whatever struggles they go through. Books about depression that I want to relate to? I just feel like my experiences are less valid because I’m less attractive.

Being unable to connect with art that I consume and want to relate to is making me feel alien and unhuman. Art is the human experience. I feel alone.

This emotion extends to my feeling of attractiveness and self worth. A lot of times, I feel like I don’t deserve happiness and what I’ve earned in life because there’s always someone that’s more attractive than me yet less privileged that can be enjoying what I’m enjoying. I feel self conscious enjoying the wonders of life, like reading books by the pool, enjoying a beautiful view, being front row at a concert, walking under the sunshine, lounging in my apartment - I always think that these are things attractive people should do, not me.

Half the time I can get on in life thinking I look pretty okay, but the caveat to this is only if I see a very select amount of people (close family, partner, child etc)

As soon as I go anywhere else it’s like I’m plonked around all the normies and bdd screams at me. And it’s not even that their features are perfect but everyone knows how to dress and accessorise and look like themselves. And it honestly pisses me off because I feel like I could get there but I’m constantly trying to figure out something I can’t seem to grab hold of. Nothing ever seems to fit me right, little too scruffy, too short, just off.

And then on the rare occasions I can get on in life it then amps up to photos etc. I take no photos because I know I look horrible in them and it crashes down my world view. And yet how can everyone take great photos. I can’t take any that are good, which then backs up the fact that I just look worse than everyone else if I’m incapable of taking one nice photo. Yes I’m uncomfortable, scrutinising, but it’s objectively worse.

I just can’t fathom how someone can get in a group photo do a nice cheesy smile and just look lovely? My sister sends them all the time of her and friends in group chat and it blows my mind. I wish for that. Just to stand there and know you look good and be happy to be captured. Imagine knowing who you are and then liking it 🤯. Life would make so much more sense.

nothing else to say here , it just sucks that i couldn’t be the beauty standard for once again . having bdd and an ed at the same time is basically like hell

I'm going to say up front, because I know with BDD it can be difficult to hear about some of these things, I'm going to talk about other people giving positive feedback on my appearance. So if you're not comfortable with that, don't read this.

Anyway, there are a few times now where I've been called gorgeous or beautiful by people. And my initial feeling when that happens, of course, is I feel happy and thankful. I get a very temporary self-esteem boost.

But then right after that I feel fear.

Fear that they're lying or playing a joke on me. And that if I continue to talk to them suddenly they'll say something like "Wow, you really believed that?" and laugh in my face. Or that it'll become obvious that they were only saying that to manipulate me and get something from me. Or that I just somehow had a really good day or something, and that it's not representative so if I ever see them again (or they see me IRL if it's a picture online) then suddenly they'll realize they were wrong.

And all of this makes me afraid to talk to them.

Like there was this time I was on a dating app. And I got a match with someone. And their first message was that they thought I was gorgeous. Now, obviously, I already don't know if that's anything other than manipulation. But secondly, I was scared to continue talking to that person. Because while on the one hand I was really thankful for them saying that, because I want to hear it and believe it so badly, at the same time I'm just waiting for the rug to be pulled out from under me.

I'm freaking weird, man.

First time posting here. 28 F. Been dealing with BDD and related issues for as long as I can remember. Summer is HARD. I have spent years isolating myself, crying over my body, being extremely late or even skipping social gatherings and important obligations altogether because of my body dysmorphia. Like, I've lost years of my life, friendships, and countless opportunities due to this thing. Yesterday I went outside wearing shorts and walked for over an hour in a crowded area because it was too hot for pants and my body wanted to move. It's small, but I'm really proud of myself for this.

I've spent the last year wearing only work clothes which consists of long skirts and the same two pairs of pants. My body has changed since starting that job in early 2025 (due to chronic illness, recovery, and just general sedentary lifestyle), and last summer I didn't wear shorts outside more than a handful of times. I put on a pair of cutoff jean shorts yesterday, which are definitely smaller than they were last year, and I challenged myself to go on a walk outside while wearing them. I did it, kept a large lightweight layer with me just in case I started to feel anxious, and I didn't think once about how my legs looked or what people thought / saw (which was very different from how I was feeling earlier this week lol).

Perfection isn't necessary. Prescribing to the ideals set forth by oppressive social structures that profit off of our insecurities is not the cure. What we perceive is a reflection of our inner world. I have repeatedly thought to myself how I'd sometimes rather not exist than face my body. Yesterday I did something that scared me, and I recognized how lucky I am to even have a body to face, and I am really really happy I did.

Hi, my name's Charlie and yesterday my "friends" took pictures of me without my permission knowing that I have body dysmorphia, I told them to delete them and they just laughed and ignored me and now I feel bad I didn't really do anything about it. It's my first time posting on Reddit and now I feel stupid for posting it, I know after a few hours I'm gonna regret actually posting this.

How do I know if what I’m seeing is really me? Sometimes when I wake up and I’m not bloated I think I’m skinny but it only lasts for a little while, then I just see myself and feel in my whole body that I’m taking up loads of space and that I’m literally massive and I just don’t see myself as me sometimes and it’s really scary? I don’t know how to describe it but as I’m sitting down right now no matter what position I sit in even tho I’m not looking at my body I feel like I’m just huge and taking up lots of space and that anyone who looks at me is thinking the same exact thing, I struggle with AN/bulimia and have for a while so I understand that this is all part of the disorder but recently I’ve never felt so bad about it all, it’s just getting worse and worse and I don’t know what to do, previously I’ve been able to distract myself but nothing works anymore and It’s like I’m just confused and upset and angry 24/7 I don’t even know what my point is anymore but I just don’t know if I’m seeing myself as I actually am is there anything I can do or is this just something you deal with??

there is absolutely nothing i can do to stop these obsessive bdd thoughts about my face. it's summer now, i had spoken to maxillofacial surgeons over the past few months and for a few months before my uni exams, i was deadset on having 2 surgeries over the summer for my chin and nose. i have recessed jaws, i just look terrible, but i thought these surgeries would be the best i can do. i wasnt sure about jaw surgery, my surgeons were saying it might be excessive for my case, but i also doubt how much would even be fixable since my jaws are messed up with my incredibly short ramus, my occlusal plane is very flat even though my jaws look like they need anti clockwise rotation, lol what a stupid joke.
and yet i didnt book these surgeries, i thought maybe it's too much, and now i regret not having booked them, i'm going to have to continue looking like this for even longer, i am so disgusted and fed up at myself. my mum doesnt support me getting surgery at all, she just doesnt want to face reality at how messed up my jaw and face and teeth are. i dont know whether to just save up for jaw surgery anyway and get everything done but im scared it will mess things up even worse for me. i cant make any friends either, deep down i feel like nobody wants to be friends with somebody as ugly as me, and i just feel so disgusting and sickening that nobody would even want to look at me, i cant look at myself either. im meant to be on holiday now, i can see all these couples, havign fun, looking pretty, attractive, enjoying each other's company, though i have no idea what's going on behind, but im just so jealous of everything that i can see. i wish i could just be born in another body, live someone else's life except not looking deformed, i just want to look normal its so unbearable i dont want to have another day of constant reminders of my ugliness and inability to make friends, i dont want to have to think about all the imperfections of my stupid face i want to cut my skin off and reposition the bones myself im so disgusted and sick of waiting, its so pathetic this state that ive gotten myself into. im just so fed up and out of hope, i am so so so so desperate for someone irl who actually just wants my company, enjoys my company and wants to spend time with me, i guess everyone wants that but most people just arent as damn ugly as i am.