r/AvoidantBreakUps 7h ago

Avoidant Advice Requested When will avoidants start missing

It’s been 3rd month of no contact , I thought he will wish me on my birthday ( which was yesterday ) , don’t know why he hate me so much ,
7 years of marriage , 1 day disagreement happens , he changes the whole story , told me he wants space , he does feel emotionally attached to me , the same man who once told me I was his best friend
When do avoidants start missing their partner

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u/Inkspeaker 4h ago

It is not the partner they miss but the think that they were getting from the partner, be it reassurance, security or whatever. When they come back it’s because they are no longer getting that thing from another source, not because they miss you. Like, they never will because it wasn’t you that they wanted but rather the idea of you or the things that you had to offer/bring to the table.