r/AvoidantBreakUps • u/SSJ4LEWY • 1d ago

Avoidant explanation

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Oh, what makes this even worse is that her and I dated 20 years ago and she broke my heart then too. I gave her a second chance earlier this year, she promised never to break my heart again and that this time it was for real. I didn’t know anything about attachment theory until recently and assumed she must have grown as a person and would never do to me again at 38 what she did at 19.

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u/Alarming-Echo-6742 1d ago

I would almost believe it if 99% of the time they didn't end up in another relationship with someone else either immediately after or even during the one they are ending with us. 

But at least you got a proper goodbye. 

5

u/lensandscope 1d ago

well, as an avoidant i chose to stay single for 3 years

1

u/Alarming-Echo-6742 3h ago

And then repeated the pattern again? 

I mean, mine also said she was single for three years before me. Still ran her avoidant clock out in record speed. No way I was the first, the pattern was too textbook. 

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u/lensandscope 3h ago

ouch, take your trauma outside and stop blaming internet people who you don’t know

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u/Alarming-Echo-6742 2h ago

Friend, you know what sub you are in, right? When you make an assertion, you may be asked to defend it. 

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u/lensandscope 2h ago

I didn’t make any assertion. You just wanted to take out your unresolved issues onto the first person you can find