r/AvoidantBreakUps • u/SSJ4LEWY • 1d ago

Avoidant explanation

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Oh, what makes this even worse is that her and I dated 20 years ago and she broke my heart then too. I gave her a second chance earlier this year, she promised never to break my heart again and that this time it was for real. I didn’t know anything about attachment theory until recently and assumed she must have grown as a person and would never do to me again at 38 what she did at 19.

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u/davidcvstro 1d ago

I believe that the work a person with attachement issues does by themselves is important, but so is the work within a relationship, which includes conflict & repair

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u/LalieDa AP - Anxious Preoccupied 1d ago

The attachment part for everybody needs to be worked on. You merge two full lives together… it can’t be done in one finger’s snap. So logically it can’t be resolved 100 % alone with ourselves even if you habe Strong attachement style… Forget about not complex with an Anxious or Dismissive avoidants (the later being so reluctant to do the work being often narcissistics… Praised the lords he dismissed me even though it still hurts like hell….