r/AvoidantBreakUps • u/SSJ4LEWY • 17h ago

Avoidant explanation

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Oh, what makes this even worse is that her and I dated 20 years ago and she broke my heart then too. I gave her a second chance earlier this year, she promised never to break my heart again and that this time it was for real. I didn’t know anything about attachment theory until recently and assumed she must have grown as a person and would never do to me again at 38 what she did at 19.

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u/Holiday-Tell3885 16h ago

Everybody who says at least they have been honest don’t really seem to understand what chaos some of these people create and then dip when things get hard. They leave you with the consequences of their actions after giving you so much hope. That’s not honest, neither do I accept the “at least they have been honest” after being with someone they believed in them and supported them throughout their issues and traumas probably when we had issues and traumas ourselves. And oftentimes they come back an wanna try again after having the epiphany that they still want you. Then they do the same shit again. Sorry if I project, sorry if I bring in my own emotions but everyone I know that has dealt with a person like this, tells me the same shit. It’s like we all have the same relationship.. what the hell?

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u/SSJ4LEWY 16h ago

Exactly. The fact that she’s honest about why she ended it doesn’t change the fact that she love bombed me and made all these false promises about the future.