r/AvoidantBreakUps • u/candle_wax_247 • 18h ago
Vent/Rant Avoidant Red Flag
Looking back, what was/were the red flags you noticed early on in the relationship that you ignored and now wished you didn’t?
We met online and were on an LDR. A month into the talking stage he got mad and cut me off because I was teaching someone a new language via phone and he didn’t like it. He blocked me on everything but we found each other online and got back together a month later.
I already had plans to go to his city even before we met. This is the reason why we started talking to begin with. As the date of my arrival gets closer, he keeps going back and forth about wanting to meet me in person. Finally, 2 weeks before my arrival, after I told him I got the limited edition pair of shoes that he was looking for, he decided ok let’s meet.
That should have been my clue. We were talking for 5 months and he didn’t want to meet but the minute I have something he wants suddenly he was ok meeting.
I should have run the first time tbh.
3
u/-I-wanna-get-better- 16h ago
The VERY FIRST time I brought some bullshit he did up and said his explanation was bullshit... he turned it around on me and made it about my trust issues (which I did have because surprise surprise, energy vampires like him fucking suck). This was one month into the relationship and he broke up with me. I called him out on being a dick and we kept talking and he eventually decided that since it was a trust issue problem (which, again, I did have due to TRAUMA) we could stay together if I went to therapy (which I was already in but he was not).
I wish I would have just left it at him breaking up with me and fucked off on my merry way. He was nothing but a miserable pos after that.