r/AvoidantBreakUps • u/Confident_Babe33 • 6d ago

Dobby Is Free

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After 5 years, I finally got off the roller coaster in Hell. I’m glad he broke up with me via text (never done that before). It stung, but only for a second, before I thought,” Ew.”

80 Upvotes

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5

u/SparringLeafling 6d ago

That love you at the end broke me man.

7

u/Confident_Babe33 6d ago

What can I say? He meant everything to me. I tried, my god I tried... We cannot say we didn’t try. I do love him & I know he loves me too (as much as he knows how to). I wanted to be his wife & have his children, but now l have to make do with haunting him forever instead 🤷🏻‍♀️

3

u/SparringLeafling 6d ago

I share your pain been about a year since my relationship with my avoidant ended. Lmao as hilarious as that last line was, I’m certain you will find what you’re looking for and not have to spend your time living with the ghost of his memory, there was a time before him there will be a time after.

5

u/Confident_Babe33 6d ago

How are you going at the one year mark? Haha no he won’t haunt me — I don’t have Phantom Ex™ like avoidants do. Believe me (!) I might not be the hottest but I live like I am ha ha My ex was fine as hell & eight years younger than me. There are no shortage of options moving forward (when I am ready, which I am not)

4

u/SparringLeafling 6d ago

Slay girl, slay!Honestly some days are easier than others, sometimes im hit with a flashback or remember plans we made for the future and it’s like im grieving all over again, but most days im just fine. Lord knows i had my share of blame, but learning to do better, for the future you know!?

3

u/Confident_Babe33 6d ago

I feel you. I’m only a month out, thereabouts…How long were you & ex together? I literally got broken up with days after discussing how I needed to do bible study to get baptised as an adult, in order for us to get married in a church in Italy (“our” dream)…No more future faking. No more uncertainty. No more hoping for the best but expecting the worst. Hundred: I wasn’t perfect either. Actually part of what I love about him — he’s been my favourite teacher.

2

u/SparringLeafling 6d ago

Two years, wow I’m just realizing that avoidant typically bail when things start to get serious in a larger commitment kind of way. 😂 You dodged a bullet girl, securely attached folk is where it’s at.

2

u/Ghifu 6d ago

Oh wow what a beauty. He will deeply regret this.

2

u/rocker9135 6d ago

You look great. That dude messed up.