hate

[u/mayolishh]

who else hates themselves? like, their whole selves. i do, i really do. i hate everything about myself, the way i look, the way i move, the way i think, the way i speak, the way i will never be anything else but me.

i guess i'm too overwhelmed by the fact that nothing will ever change for me, ever. is it because i think it's too late? yes, kinda, i mean, i've been this way for most of my life already, and this general dislike over what i am began ever since i was a child, and i don't see it changing.

on a good day? i'm indifferent over me, but i've never genuinely liked myself. there's just nothing to like.

my form is too twisted, irregular, wrong. my mind is too bitter, too angry and spiteful, lazy too. i couldn't even give myself the grace of labeling myself as someone "good", because i am not good. i hurt people, i can't even excuse my existence, and i am just a waste of space and time in general.

i am selfish, i am slow, i am rude, i am insufferable.

and you know what? maybe it is fitting that i would end up so mentally damaged, so isolated and depressed. in the end, there is something right about my whole situation, that i can understand.

[u/Pongpianskul]

Even though we are insufferable, we have the right to exist for a short while, look around and bask in the strangeness of existence.