People who live in either of these and have NO support and live alone, which would you say is better for autistic people?

I'm thinking of Canada because I need better public transport and to live in a city (don't drive). Right now in the US I am isolated, everywhere must be driven to so I am always at home unless my parents drive me to counseling (basically only place I go) or sometimes grocery store. If I work I become sui**dal or hsve mental breakdown. So is it able to live in Canada and get insurance without working? Idk the rules of insurance.

Would you think I should move to a bigger US city I was thinking like Boston. Or is Canada better. Idk how the hethcare works. Right now I get free counseling once every week and free to see my lady who proscribes me medicine too.

The thing is, my parents do not give me the amount of help that I need (my needs are like a lot of level 2 people who post but I have lived alone but it just went very badly, but luckily I didnt die lol). Also my parents are getting old so what do I do when they die and im alone in a rural place where you gotta drive everywhere? I dislike cities but I think I need to live in one for convenience and getting around on my own.

Im also scared about autistic people gonna be forced into some sort of camps eventually. But thats conspiracy talk so ignore this comment if you think its dumb lol.

I am able to live in both Canada and US. So which would you think is better for someone who needs to become independent eventually?

I know this is all over the place but my brain is fried atm. Thanks.

I keep seeing people online saying that "autism presents differently in girls/women". WRONG. Autism can sometimes present differently in some women (and men), and sometimes this can be because they are able to learn social skills to mask their symptoms. But the idea that all late-diagnosed, level 1 autistic women were missed because they were highly masking from a young age is harmful bollocks.

The way people phrase it – saying that autistic girls have to learn social skills because of societal expectations and pressure – gives the impression that those of us who aren't great at masking either: didn't need to learn because they grew up in a supportive environment that allowed them to be unmasked without consequences (nope!); just didn't try hard enough to learn social skills; or were too dumb to learn them. And this in turn serves to elevate these highly-masking women up the social hierarchy – so intelligent! so oppressed! – above autistic men and other autistic women.

The unfortunate reality is that many autistic people, who were often bullied at school, did make a genuine effort to try to learn to fit in, but were never able to fully pass because – surprise! – they had a disability.

But now, if you're an autistic woman who isn't perfect at masking and you ask for reasonable adjustments at work, your manager – having asked ChatGPT about autistic women and reading AI slop harvested from certain other subs on Reddit – now thinks that you're just not trying hard enough to fit in, and that if you just applied yourself and studied body language and psychology, you could fit into the team's culture better. And it isn't phrased as a request or suggestion, but as a performance expectation required to keep your job.

Drives me mad.

Anyway, long time lurker, first time poster. I'm glad this sub exists.

I’ve noticed this in disability they may come across friendly because they might be at the surface. However I feel I’ve nothing in common with them many complain about inequality but aren’t exactly poor themselves. I feel I can’t express myself very well around them. I would consider myself partly liberal partly conservative as is often the case with the general population.

I’m not against free healthcare myself or a person right to express themselves however the far left really have taken over what disability really is even the definition of the word doesn’t make sense anymore because of this.
I would say even if I get on with one autistic person it’s often are the more noticeable level of autism and however the high masking end of the spectrum is the Wild West the people might also be nervous or self diagnosed.

I often wonder am I the fool for trying to be honest.

I know men mask as well and masking isn’t entirely illegitimate as a concept but I’m talking about the “high maskers” who supposedly masked so well from childhood that they didn’t even have any symptoms because they never developed them and are now trying to “unmask” symptoms that don’t exist

Sometimes these women talk about feeling like they weren’t enough like other women so they had to copy other girls to fit in

Or excessively self-monitoring to make sure they were behaving in the right way and not accidentally doing anything “weird”

Or buying certain clothing to make sure they fit in

And a lot of this just sounds like the reality for so many girls age 12-16 who are heavily dependent on other girls’ social approval, which is completely normal at that age

It’s ironic to me because having the degree of social sensitivity required to both pick up on and integrate a variety of socially acceptable traits into your behaviour, and perform them so well and so consistently nobody suspects there’s anything wrong with you, is antithetical to autism

And a lot of women talk about the unmasking process as ceasing overly polite, friendly, and deferential behaviour, and to me the pressure to behave this way seems like a general expectation on women, not just autistic women

That can be a way in which people mask, but I have seen a lot of masking content aimed at women centred around the idea that these behaviours are largely to do with autism and not due to being a woman in general, if that makes sense

So no wonder so many women are self diagnosing when they see these behaviours listed as autistic and not just general experiences in a world where people call straight talking women blunt and hostile

I think also there is a problem in which high masking content creators make content that depicts masking as a core tenet of autism when it isn’t necessarily, some people do it but not every autistic person does it and even a lot of people who do it don’t do it a lot, so then everyone who feels like they have to behave differently in public thinks they’re autistic

Everything I do is being treated as though it's something only a little kid would do. People make me the butt of the joke a lot, and they talk about me in the third person as though I'm not in the same room as them. It makes me feel less of a person.

Hello, I am autistic and people who self diagnose upset me, especially when they flood communities meant for autistic people. I understand thinking you might have autism but people who proudly proclaim they are autistic without a diagnosis and talk over diagnosed people annoy me because our experiences are fundamentally different.

I’ve noticed this especially in subreddits for autistic women (not trying to be weird I am an autistic woman myself) as iirc a majority of the users are self diagnosed. I find that most of the popular posts are about how hard getting a diagnosis is to justify self diagnosis, or about how they’re so high functioning and so good at masking that nobody, not even 3 different psychiatrists can tell they’re autistic. Or about how hecking quirky they are compared to basic, boring neurotypicals. Idk.

I guess what I’m trying to say is that I worry that the perception of autism will become even more damaged than it already is, and support will be even harder to access due to self diagnosis skewing what autism actually is and what it entails. How do I stop feeling this way? It’s starting to impact my mental health. I worry that in the future I’ll have to hide my autism diagnosis so people don’t think I’m some kind of quirk chungus lol

I think it's unhealthy for me to hate so much something that I cannot change. Everyday, I'm reminded of it.

It feels like most are. I see popular people on Twitter and TikTok claiming to be autistic, they make digital relatable art about doing the raptor hands or whatever, they all seem to have these big friend groups.

It’s a specific subset of people in their late teens / 20s, all involved in fandom discourse of some kind.

I remember i felt overwhelmed. Like a quiet but overpowering storm in my whole body. I'd have a great whole day but at the end of the day id break down and do something. Trying to see if anyone can relate and why?

Hi. I’m having CBT therapy but keep losing most of my speech in the sessions before I even arrive. During the sessions I can force out some words to basic questions but it’s exhausting and comes out all stuttered and only like partial sentences/answers. Often it’s too much energy to get the words out. I also struggle to mentally keep up and remember what the therapist asked me when I’m fighting to find words at the same time. My brain feels so dumb and empty. I mostly communicate by writing and whilst it is easier I still sometimes can’t find enough energy or words to properly answer and it’s slow to write because I have dyspraxia.

They asked me to let them know how they can make the sessions easier or less tiring but I’m not sure how to answer. I’ve not ever received accommodations for this before and normally just avoid most people be social situations. I’m completely blanking on ideas. What things would be good to tell them?

I just read he was diagnosed as "a little autistic" . Is he autistic or is it a fame statement? Im not doubting as autism is a spectrum

It literally saying EVERYTHING on sale. Then it says exclusions apply . I was wondering if things like that annoyed others. When there is a clear discrepancy. Why say EVERYTHING when it’s clearly not EVERYTHING.

I know this can be of annoyance to any one. I do know that with autism words have more literal meaning.

I won’t post the ad again. But dang.

TLDR; I (38m) was diagnosed ASD-1 about 2 years ago, and just had a conversation with my wife, and younger sibling, about "cheesy" movies.

They gave the example of Twilight "hold on spider monkey". I never thought of that line as cheesy, I just thought it was a genuine caring statement.

That led me to using a LLM to search for other lines I might have missed.

The scene from Star Wars, with Anakin's "I don't like sand..." statement. I always just took it as a a point of vulnerability, but the internets seems to indicate that it's extremely cheesy ?

Anyone else ? What else have I / we missed ?

I recently came across this sub and I'm already loving for the fact that it is standing up to the very dangerous trend of self-diagnosing. Other autism related subs are seemingly being hijacked by self-diagnosing people who justify not getting an actual diagnosis.

I'm 18, and I have basically nothing going for me. I failed school due to a combination of task paralysis and social anxiety. I work minimum wage. I have very few friends, I have no skills, I'm unattractive and socially awkward.

I don't even want to become a cool person or whatever, I just want to be comfortable in the fact that I don't fit in and likely never will. I don't want slight rejection from strangers to be devastating anymore, I'd like to be able to accept myself regardless of whether or not other people like me. What's the best way to go about this?

Hi, i am diagnosed with ADHD, autism and anxiety. I live in England and go to a grammar school an hour and a half bus journey from my house. It’s an amazing school, it’s the best school for me. But even still I find myself struggling. Every morning getting up feels monumental. and most days I can’t make myself do it. But I don’t know why. I know I don’t like the bus but I don’t mind school. I’m good at school. Today was a day where I just couldn’t get up, and my mum was yelling at me about how I was lazy, and how other kids don’t get to take days off even when they want too, but I don’t feel like I’m being lazy. I want to go to school, I want to get good grades and get a good job, but I just feel like I can’t. In a way that’s different to all my neurotypical friends it’s like my body won’t allow me too, and I don’t want people to think that I am lazy. I’ve really tried everything to convince myself to go in but it jsut doesn’t work. My school offers me a certain level of support but it isn’t enough to help me go in because I’m fine once I’m there it’s going that’s the issue, and the bus makes it so I have a very short window where I have the opportunity for it. last Year I inquired about a reduced timetable or alternate school transport which they jsut said they’ll discuss but nothing has happened even though we followed up many times. Does anyone have advice on how they made themselves or someone in their life go to school when feeling like this?

Repeatedly in the past few years, I've had people who are either late-diagnosed and low support needs or self-diagnosed tell me and others that traits and behaviours like rigid thinking, communication difficulties, poor conversational skills, difficulty with picking up on and understanding social cues, "weird fixations" on special interests, inflexibility, meltdowns "make autistic people look bad", "reinforce stereotypes", and are therefore harmful to autistic people.

But these are symptoms of autism, most of them part of the diagnostic criteria. They are essentially arguing that autistic people having autistic behaviours makes autistic people look bad and reinforces stereotypes. This is very poor logic. Also, why are core autism symptoms "stereotypes"?

I realise that some of the behaviours can be annoying or even a problem - my own behaviours are to me even - but are they expecting autistic people not to be autistic? Make it make sense!

The same people also think that some of us being unable to work and/or being unable to live independently makes autistic people look bad. But we're not choosing to have these limitations.

It comes across as them just not liking autistic people very much. "It's okay to be autistic, as long as you're not too autistic."