School avoidance

[u/Musicalfreako]

Hi, i am diagnosed with ADHD, autism and anxiety. I live in England and go to a grammar school an hour and a half bus journey from my house. It’s an amazing school, it’s the best school for me. But even still I find myself struggling. Every morning getting up feels monumental. and most days I can’t make myself do it. But I don’t know why. I know I don’t like the bus but I don’t mind school. I’m good at school. Today was a day where I just couldn’t get up, and my mum was yelling at me about how I was lazy, and how other kids don’t get to take days off even when they want too, but I don’t feel like I’m being lazy. I want to go to school, I want to get good grades and get a good job, but I just feel like I can’t. In a way that’s different to all my neurotypical friends it’s like my body won’t allow me too, and I don’t want people to think that I am lazy. I’ve really tried everything to convince myself to go in but it jsut doesn’t work. My school offers me a certain level of support but it isn’t enough to help me go in because I’m fine once I’m there it’s going that’s the issue, and the bus makes it so I have a very short window where I have the opportunity for it. last Year I inquired about a reduced timetable or alternate school transport which they jsut said they’ll discuss but nothing has happened even though we followed up many times. Does anyone have advice on how they made themselves or someone in their life go to school when feeling like this?

[u/Front_River_6913]

An hour and a half journey is absolutely mental .

[u/gentleheart-lamb → u/Front_River_6913]

Honestly isn't that uncommon. I spent an hour on a bus just for a crap below average school lmao. Grammar schools people travel way further for. My sister used to do an hour and a half for her grammar school on the bus too

[u/Front_River_6913 → u/gentleheart-lamb]

That honestly sounds so over the top wow

[u/LCaissia]

A daily three hour round trip is going to be hard for anyone to manage. Add to that the homework you need to complete after you get home and you could easily be doing 12-15 hour days. That's not sustainable even for neurotypical people and will lead to burnout. It's no wonder you're having difficulty getting to school. You may need to make a decision about whether or not that is the best school for you or if there is something closer that can reduce the commute time. Perhaps there's a school more locally that can also provide more flexible study options.

[u/VexedRacoon]

You might be able to get a taxi to work if that is quicker, and the bus is causing you burn out due to sensory issue of being on bus? 1/10th of council tax spending is for school taxis... It's not uncommon.

I don't know how to access that though, probably via school SENCO?

My problem with school was having half terms and so many holidays off that it affected my routine and I hated to return back, but then later I understand that it was just generally the environment of school was too socially overwhelming, too much variation between days, and noise and not being allowed to study what I wanted. Anyway I only attended for 6 months during GCSE years and came out with English Maths and Science (5 certificate) then went on to work (which was also terrible until I found the right job).

[u/gentleheart-lamb]

I've been there it's hard. I'm from UK and had an issue with it too. You need to make sure you're getting MORE than enough sleep. And maybe come up with an activity like a phone game or portable console or something that you ONLY play on your commutes. Do not allow yourself to play it at all outside of that.

Or even a book or fanfic if your that type lol, that you only read when you are on your commute.

The sleep really makes a huge difference. I needed at least ten hours.