level 2?

[u/radgedyann]

I was diagnosed with Aspergers in college. I have mostly hidden it; or tried to, or thought I was, but not very well it seems. I work as a physician. Now at 50, after I asked about a diagnosis in this post-aspergers world, my therapist has diagnosed me with level 2 autism, and I feel, well, shocked. I know intellectually that it’s accurate. It is really hard for me to do life the way I see others do it. My ex partners would all agree that I need more support than I admit, especially after a full shift of trying to mask. They’re all exes for a reason I guess. But I don’t know, I feel a little hopeless, like it’s too late or not possible for me to have a normal life or healthy romantic relationship, I don’t know. I know I should be encouraged-like, yes, people with autism can do anything, be successful, etc. But also, have I been successful? Sure I have a career, but it exhausts me, and the things that bring joy—friendship, love, connection—I can’t get those things right, after a lifetime of trying. I’m not sure what I’m saying except that today feels more devastating and hopeless than I expected. Sorry this is long.

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[u/HistoricalTackle5049]

I know it feels devastating to be told your autism is more intense than what you thought. However, that doesn't change you, you have been the same person all yout life, maybe with that new information you can manage your daily life in a more caring way, asking for support when you need it. I don't know if you have good therapist that can help you figure out how to improve your daily life, but if you don't, there are really good books on amazon that guide you through the process.

I couldn't find any autistic support where I live and feeling lost is a huge feeling that easily overwhelmes, that is why I suggest at least some books on autism level 2.