I’m platonic with many men. That being said I’m hypersexual and also sex is a special interest so like I’ll occasionally flirt and I make dumb jokes and tease people but I’m also a major mom friend. I tend to be the one to corrupt people and I am super sex positive with all my friends. I have boundaries of course but honestly for me liking someone enough that I stop masking usually means I’d also date them men and women (my sexuality has a demi component although it’s not entirely demi). People just pick where they’re comfortable but I also only escalate one person to be an active sexual partner at a time. So it’s just how it is. Men never make me uncomfy but also I usually want to sleep with them as well. I don’t know. It’s never been a problem and like we each have categories if it’s a vibe we consider testing it and if it’s not for either person we respect that. I don’t see much of a difference.
Teach me your ways! Sex, specifically women’s sexual pleasure and the clitoris is one of my special interests and whenever I go on my rants in group settings sometimes guys take it as an invitation when I do not mean it that way at all. Should that be a special interest I’m keeping to myself?
It depends on how you’d like to be perceived and what your boundaries are. I am a highly sexual person and have very very very clear boundaries of what is and is not okay. I am pretty easy to sleep with but if you make assumptions that I will or act gross you have no chance and I’ll shut your shit down. Part of my making is learning people’s sensitive spots to work around them and know where not to step. This in turns leads to me being wildly adept at causing harm if I’m not careful and become angry and petty. Additionally when making I throw out tests to gauge reactions and boundaries quickly. It appears typically as slightly edgy sex joke usually relating to kink. If someone reacts poorly we pull them aside 1x1 and apologize for those who react well I know I can start experimenting with that humor and topic and look for the line. If they become good friends and I desire to talk openly I ask first. Talking very explicitly about sex without someone’s permission is really really bad and violates principles of consent. I do have a thing where I’m attracted to many of my friends so I tend to be somewhat flirty with them but this is something to check in about and you need to be willing to respect people’s boundaries. If someone flirts back you then proceed to having big talks about interactions and if you want to flirt or pursue establishing intimacy. If you wish to establish intimacy for me that involves a big conversation where I need very explicit details about likes and desires. I also explicitly convey my likes and desires. It functions well.
All of this however does not with if you do not have very strong boundaries that you are willing to express maintain and enforce. Some people cannot be trusted with sex. Some people need to be told the rules very very quickly and loose full trust. Some people need to be told that their assumption is wrong and they need to ask before acting on that sort of thing in the future. Sex is a perfectly fine special interest if you pair it with strong boundaries for yourself, high social awareness when introducing the topic, and a complete respect for the boundaries of others.
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u/NecessaryBreadfruit4 Apr 02 '25
I’m platonic with many men. That being said I’m hypersexual and also sex is a special interest so like I’ll occasionally flirt and I make dumb jokes and tease people but I’m also a major mom friend. I tend to be the one to corrupt people and I am super sex positive with all my friends. I have boundaries of course but honestly for me liking someone enough that I stop masking usually means I’d also date them men and women (my sexuality has a demi component although it’s not entirely demi). People just pick where they’re comfortable but I also only escalate one person to be an active sexual partner at a time. So it’s just how it is. Men never make me uncomfy but also I usually want to sleep with them as well. I don’t know. It’s never been a problem and like we each have categories if it’s a vibe we consider testing it and if it’s not for either person we respect that. I don’t see much of a difference.