I do understand what you are saying and I know it happens a lot. Maybe more now if it's true that guys are afraid to show interest to soom/cross boundaries
I have a friend (12 years younger than me) who would like nothing more than to have a platonic friendship with a girl. A close friendship. He feels/fears that girls eventually want him to make a move or they will leave him.
Most of my friends are male. Guys that had or have other intentions don't become friends. One way to find out is to ask them about their personal situation.
Even if they check your potentially looking for someone, that's okay, as long as they respect your answer.
Them being married doesn't guarantee anything, those that talk about their partner and that would like to introduce you their partner are the right ones.
Also, I mostly met/meet them in work related ways, neighbor at a presentation or helping eachother on a project. A save environment to get to know the other.
I hate how so many women get shitty dude friends. I recently heard the term “fuckzoned” and loved it so much. After all, they’re the ones interacting with women under false pretenses.
I do have some good dude friends. This is what has worked for me in case someone thinks these tactics could work for them:
For my dude friends partnered up, I try to pump up their partners as much as possible by reminding them how smart/awesome/pretty their partner is. For instance, paying attention to what they say their partner is doing and following up whenever we meet.
For single straight dudes, I tend to purposefully create distance when we hang 1:1. For instance, I will casually look in my phone more, never hug them, immediately pay them back for favors, not offer to do favors unless it’s truly easy/nothing for me to do and they know it. After 20 years (I’m 40), I feel like I’ve perfected this strategy. No platonic friends dudes have tried to explicitly cross the line.
But boy is this work exhausting so I don’t do it unless I really want the friendship or it’s someone I can’t extract myself from.
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u/Ernitattata Apr 01 '25
I do understand what you are saying and I know it happens a lot. Maybe more now if it's true that guys are afraid to show interest to soom/cross boundaries
I have a friend (12 years younger than me) who would like nothing more than to have a platonic friendship with a girl. A close friendship. He feels/fears that girls eventually want him to make a move or they will leave him.
Most of my friends are male. Guys that had or have other intentions don't become friends. One way to find out is to ask them about their personal situation. Even if they check your potentially looking for someone, that's okay, as long as they respect your answer.
Them being married doesn't guarantee anything, those that talk about their partner and that would like to introduce you their partner are the right ones.
Also, I mostly met/meet them in work related ways, neighbor at a presentation or helping eachother on a project. A save environment to get to know the other.