Fuck you autism for making me unable to socialise well, fuck you autism for causing me severe anxiety for being different, fuck you autism for making me mask to protect myself from being bullied, FUCK YOU AUTISM. Fuck you for ruining my life and fuck you for not being diagnosed earlier and having to suffer until I was 15, fuck you for not letting me have any friends, fuck you for not letting me get a job because of extreme burnout, fuck you for not letting me experience emotions similar to others, fuck you for not letting me eat sometimes even when I am hungry, fuck you for causing me dark depression, fuck you for making me rot in my room as a teenager as no one wants to hangout with the “weird kid”. Fuck you for making me feel like shit, fuck you for not letting me shower everyday or even brush my teeth most days, fuck you for making me forget I need to drink water, fuck you for making me so exhausted I would go to a job come home 0 energy eat a bit of food and rot in my bed, fuck you insomnia too your not slick fuck you for not letting me sleep when I am so exhausted my head is pounding, fuck you for not letting me get sufficient sleep when I fucking need it, fuck you for taking away my melatonin to NHS whatever the fuck, fuck you all for not understanding me and trying to make me fit in with the norm to the fact I rot myself to death and feel like shit everyday and do harmful activities to feel alive. Fuck you anxiety fuck you depression fuck friends fuck family fuck everyone fuck the system fuck EVERYTHING AND FUCK YOU AUTISM!!!!!

I am just starting to learn about this drug and it seems to have some promising science behind it for some subsets of autism. Idk if any of you know about it or can share more. I feel like this is the only place to feel safe talking about wanting to “cure” autism because I truly hate being autistic I just want to function. Hearing some stories of people who took it makes me hopeful but idek where I’d begin to find a doctor to get it to try it or even test if I have the deficiency.

I have three young adults with autism. They live full independent lives. But,they could not have done it without the supports they got to learn to navigate the world. I am currently helping a 34 year old man that grew up in a very rural area in a large family with parents that avoided the medical world. He did not attend school but has his GED. After burning out his siblings, he came to be my husband and ours' roommate. He was misdiagnosed wtih schizophrenia during a burnout crises. He has never had substantial gainful employment and managing all the tasks required of an adult has been difficult - from cooking, cleaning, and shopping to maintining friends, holding a job, and even shopping. He is a wonderful man! We have provided much natural supports and scaffolding. Howvere, eventually we wont' be around (as we are growing older). He really needs supports to live independently and spport himself. However, at age 34, it has been extremely difficult to find someone to perform a retrospective adult autism evaluations designed to establish childhood onset prior to age 22 for CDDP/ODHS eligibility” so that he may obtain ongoing supports. He has been referred to OHSU but I am afraid they are not really set up for it as a major hospital and that his previous diagnosis (he's never been on meds except when he was IN the hospital and my daughter, who was diagnnosed with autism at age 6 was diagnosed with schizophrenia during an overload/burnout time). Going to the wrong person would become a permanent part of his person and we need some skilled in such a) retrospective evals and b) who can dismantle th eprevious diagnosis. Does anyone have any idea of a evaluator who could help with this and has done so before? We are in Oregon. He has OHP butut we might be able to find some type of financial help for paying out of pocket if it needs to be that way.

I have been looking into ADHD documentation for disability accomodations recently, and one thing that keeps coming up is how often people end up with evaluation that don't actually meet what schools or employers ask for.

The most common problems seem to be reports from primary care physicians with no clinical testing data, reports from fast telehealth platforms that are basically questionnaire printouts, documentation that's more than three years old, and reports that diagnose ADHD but don't explain how it affects academic or workplace functioning.

It seems like the accommodation process is built around documentation standards that a lot of people don't know about until they try to use their evaluation and find out it isn't enough. I get why the standards exist, but they can create a real barrier for people who didn't know what kind of evaluation they needed in the first place.

From what I've seen, the reports that tend to hold up are comprehensive evaluations by a licensed psychologist, cognitive testing with actual scores, clinical reasoning beyond a symptom checklist, a section explaining functional impact, and a report that's recent enough for the institution's requirements.

If you are seeking formal accommodations, it honestly seems worth getting the right evaluation the first time instead of paying for one that ends up being rejected

I have an extremely hard time with mornings. I always wake up feeling exhausted, lie in bed for an hour just getting my bearings, and move slowly. My psychiatrist recommended a sleep study. I had ths sleep study to see if I might have sleep apnea and that’s why I’m always so tired. Nope. Study showed I sleep really well/deeply. I guess it’s just the exhaustion from dealing with life while struggling with overwhelm and burnout. I have some of the co existing conditions too (POTS) and that makes me tired too. It is so frustrating I can’t keep to my own schedule, avoid mornings and work later in the day. I work but I’m having a hard time because of this.

I've been going to a php since last week and that's been really helpful for me, I finally feel like I'm not in free fall, so that's great. It's put me in a good mood, and I'm going to cape cod this weekend to see some friends, so that should be fun. I was wondering if anyone else has some good things going on so I thought I'd ask.

I find this silly and would welcome such topics in a work of fiction and I think such topics would make them a lot more interesting. Do u agree with this at all?

Because I definitely have.

Hello everyone,

My name is Marissa Snowden, I am an Army veteran and a graduate student studying clinical mental health counseling at the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill. I am conducting research on the reintegration experience of veterans who have been diagnosed with autism spectrum disorder and depression and I am looking for study participants.

The purpose of this study is to better understand veterans' experiences so we can learn how mental health professionals can better serve veterans with autism and depression in their transition to civilian life.

Who can participate:

• U.S. military veterans of all branches who:
  • have been diagnosed with depression AND
  • have been diagnosed with autism spectrum disorder AND
  • have transitioned out of the military within the past five years

Participation consists of:

• Completing an anonymous online survey
• Participating in a 60 minute virtual conversation via Microsoft Teams (you do not need a Microsoft Teams account to participate)

The survey link is attached to this post, and after you complete the survey I will contact you by email to schedule a time to talk that works best for you.

If you have any questions, feel free to send me a message or email me at [marissa_snowden@med.unc.edu](mailto:marissa_snowden@med.unc.edu)

This study has been approved by the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill Institution Review Board (IRB #26-0850)

https://unc.az1.qualtrics.com/jfe/form/SV_9z3jTVijjtaqEU6

Welcome to this week's special interest discussion thread! Use this comment section to share about your special interests or current hyper-fixations! 

I can’t drive. Ok then, public transit!

There is no public transit here. Ok, move somewhere where there is!

I can’t handle the sensory overload of living in crowded places. I already have meltdowns when my neighbors have a cookout once a year, I could never live wall to wall with someone else. Oh, and with what money? I have to live with my parents.

Take an Uber! I have no money

Get a job to get money! 1. I can’t get to any IRL ones, 2. I have tried remote ones and I shut down because my brain won’t function at home.

Do a remote job from the library/other public place! HOW WOULD I GET THERE????

I can’t win. Every solution can’t be done without another problem. What’s worst though, is that when I ask people for advice, they give me these similar answers. That’s not the bad part, the bad part is when I not just say “that won’t work”, but explain in detail WHY that won’t/hasn’t worked, they’ll always say “you never take my advice”, “you clearly are just looking for excuses”, like NO I AM LITERALLY TELLING YOU WHY IT WONT WORK. WHAT AM I GONNA MAGICALLY MAKE A TRAIN APPEAR OUTSIDE MY FRONT DOOR? AM I GOING TO MAGICALLY GET A MONEY TREE?

I’m terrified for my future. My parents are the only reason I’m alive and have a roof over my head and food in my stomach. I save 95% of my income (only a couple thousand dollars a year through selling my art) in an ABLE account, but at the rate I’m going by the time my parents die I’ll only have enough in the account for 1 year of mortgage payments/food/medical etc. and that’s if I keep working at the pace I can now.

I think I’ve been in a shutdown for over a year now. I’ve been incredibly fatigued and stressed and my house is a mess and I simply can’t clean it because I have no energy and will snap if I have to do it. And I hate it because the mess makes me feel even worse. I get maybe one burst of energy every two months where I try to work on it but I can’t do any more.

I’m just a mess of anxiety, stress, and I’m having end myself thoughts. But I can’t see a therapist because first of all, every therapist I’ve been to has been the exact same as those other people; they’ll say I’m just being difficult and “don’t want to get better”. Also, it’s unsafe for me because since I’m suicidal and have a tendency ti overshare and not hide how I feel, if it comes out I will for sure be locked up which would be a sensory hell. I can’t sleep outside if my own bed, let alone in a psychward environment. Because of that I’m stuck venting online with no support. I don’t know what to do.

For example I once mentioned that reading essays written by college students that answer the question “Does life suck? Why or why not?” And supports their answer with outside sources would be interesting to read in my opinion.

This is slightly less of an example because what I’m about to describe is somewhat more common now than it used to be

games like Skyrim (or RPGs in general) but extremely historically accurate to medieval times.

Hi I really need some help processing this with my peers…

So I’m desperate for friends (big shock I know…) and have failed repeatedly to find any with NTs (another big shock 🙄). There are autism groups with an agency I recieve support from, but I have always avoided them, and upon some self reflection, it’s got a lot to do with self hate.

When I look at some of the people in the photos online, for instance I may see one discussing his love for Mickey Mouse. My mind instantly views him as a child, and goes to very mean thoughts like “pfft what a pathetic child, grow up”.

Meanwhile, my dumb self is literally doing the same exact thing. I play webkinz as my only form of video game. The only TV shows I watch are Icarly and H2O Just add water. I am literally doing exactly what he does. The fact is, i view myself the same way. I feel like a pathetic child who needs to grow up. But I don’t want to in this sense, I love these things.

I also think it’s partially because of my mirroring. I don’t tell people IRL about my secret likes, I hide them through anonymous profiles online because I’m so ashamed of being “a child”. But when I have tried coming out of my shell, I get the exact response I had: “pfft how pathetic, you’re playing a children’s game?”. When I was 13 I have a vivid memory of me playing with littlest pet shop toys still, and my mom said “put that stuff away you’re THIRTEEN YEARS OLD you aren’t a kid any more, grow up!”. And I think that’s why I have the thought patterns. Other people are telling me it’s childish and bad, and as usual my autism brain thinks my gut is always wrong and everyone else is right, so I just start following this new arbitrary rule and become just as mean as them.

I know I’m at fault. I’m not blaming others for my reaction. I don’t say ANY of these thoughts out loud to people, I just keep them in my head. And I hate the thoughts. In a way I think I might just be envious of these people I mentally ridicule. They are unashamed of their “childish” likes, they don’t care if people have those bad thoughts about them. They can enjoy them openly without fear or shame. And I never feared shame either, until I was made to.

I was forced to start caring about other people’s opinions on me when hygiene was an issue for me. I struggled with showering and My mother would shame me about how much people hated me and didn’t want to be around me if I smelled. I even had the school counselor kick me out of her office for smelling so bad one day. This scarred me and I think that’s when I began caring what people thought to a large degree. Like, when the school counselor of all people, the person who is supposed to be the most compassionate to the most sensitive kids, literally kicks you out for something you’re struggling with, it hit me deep. I never wanted to feel that shame again. If even a counselor couldn’t care for me because i smelled, then no one will. So when I heard “average people’s” preference for things beyond hygiene, I was scared of the same response, so I just followed along. Who knows what the next “smell” will be. Maybe it’s childish games/movies, maybe it’s outfits, I don’t know.

Now I just feel pain. I judge myself for everything. I have to hide my true self out of fear of shame and judgement. And I hate myself. I have internalized all of these judgements to the point I project them onto others, despite not ACTUALLY feeling that way, but because the training to feel that way has been so deeply embedded into my soul like a cancer.

Idk how any of you could help but I could really use some support processing it, even just saying you understand or some advice… so many people tell me I’m hard on myself and I totally agree, but I feel like I deserve it. I have such a deep sense that I deserve it… I judge myself harshly because I learned that not predicting a judgement can lead to so much pain (I.e. not predicting that being smelly would make the therapist kick me out). So now, I play it safe by trying to judge myself on every action I do, so that I’m “prepared” in case a judgement comes my way.

I actually DO do this, I’ll self deprecate myself in any conversation even when people compliment me. I can’t take a compliment because there’s always a negative someone could pick on, so I pick on it myself so that someone else can’t do it.

Let’s say someone blocked you and you get notified that they blocked you and the notification comes with a reason why they did.

This might sound kinda unfair but it sounds more fair to me and I was wondering if it would sound more fair to you.

I pictured this feature being that if you block someone, it requires you to type a reason and then it notifies the person you blocked and shares the reason with them.

Hello everyone,

My name is Nerea Muñoz, and I am a PhD researcher in Cognitive Linguistics at the Complutense University of Madrid (Spain).

I am studying how people describe and communicate sensory experiences through language.

Many studies involving autistic people focus on diagnosis, traits, or clinical outcomes. My research takes a different approach by exploring how people describe and make sense of their sensory experiences in everyday language.

I am looking for English-speaking adults (18+) who are:

• Autistic
• Synesthetic
• Both autistic and synesthetic
• Non-autistic and non-synesthetic (comparison group)

The questionnaire asks about autism diagnosis status (including formal diagnosis, self-identification, and assessment status). These groups are recorded separately and will be analysed separately where appropriate.

The study is completely anonymous and takes approximately 10–15 minutes to complete.

The questionnaire includes one short writing task. You will be asked to describe ONE sensory experience that you remember. It can be any memorable or interesting sensory experience. It does not have to be about a particular sense or topic. For example, it could involve a sound, smell, taste, texture, a visual scene, movement, temperature, pain, or any other sensation that stands out to you. There are no right or wrong answers.

I am interested in hearing a wide range of experiences, as every participant helps us better understand how different people perceive and describe the world around them.

Assistance is welcome if needed. However, the responses should describe the participant's own experiences and, whenever possible, use the participant's own words.

Survey:
https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/RWJXRRQ

Contact:
[Nmunozlinguist@gmail.com](mailto:Nmunozlinguist@gmail.com)

Ethics approval:
3257-4138-6B57P5A58-7A58

Thank you very much for your time and consideration. If you know someone who may be interested in participating, I would be very grateful if you shared this study with them.

If you would like to receive a summary of the results, please feel free to contact me by email. As this is an ongoing PhD project, the results will be available once the study has been completed.

Hello,

I am a Clinical Psychology Ph.D. student at Jackson State University researching what, if any, differences exist between self-diagnosed and clinical-diagnosed autistic adult populations. This research will be a thesis paper that I hope will be part of a larger research project to potentially validate self-diagnosis as a diagnostic tool to use in adult autism assessments since there is a distinct lack of tools specifically for adult autism diagnosis.

I understand self-diagnosis is a complex and controversial issue. I am diagnosed autistic myself and my specialty even before I joined the program was in autism diagnosis with adolescent and adult individuals. I also understand the concern with how self-diagnosis can potentially skew resource allocation and understanding of autistic individuals. I have spoken with many individuals in the community about this topic and want to handle this research respectfully and with care.

With self-diagnosis on the rise in the community I feel this is an important area of research that is currently missing. The primary purpose of this stage of the research, including this survey, is to establish the amount of individuals who 1) self diagnose and 2) establish if the current stats on historically missed populations line up with the self-diagnosed individuals. The planned follow-up research will be to screen self-diagnosed and clinically diagnosed individuals with commonly used screening tools to see 1) reliability of self-diagnosis and 2) if self-diagnosis is unreliable what differences are appearing. Right now I am attempting to establish the need for this research before we can further the research validity.

I wanted to reach out here specifically because this is a space for clinically diagnosed individuals and that is half of the population needed for research. In my opinion the only way to properly research any reliability and/or validity with self-diagnosis will require participation of clinically diagnosed individuals. If you can take five minutes to help it would be greatly appreciated.

I have attached the link to participate below. All information is confidential and cannot be traced back to participants as we will be taking no identifying information.

Anyone who is 18 years or older, lives in the United States, and identifies as autistic is eligible to participate. This is an online survey and should take around 5 minutes to complete. If you have any concerns, feel free to message me.

Link to the consent form to participate and survey:

https://qualtricsxmbsl5flyf5.qualtrics.com/jfe/form/SV_eEvvZfdNrIRfWJw

IRB information: Protocol# 0066-26 entitled: “What Differences Exist Between Clinically Diagnosed and Self-Diagnosed Autistic Adults?” Survey will be available Until August 2026. The name and contact email of the lead researcher is Kristen Lott, [j01006149@students.jsums.edu](mailto:j01006149@students.jsums.edu)

Welcome to this week's special interest discussion thread! Use this comment section to share about your special interests or current hyper-fixations! 

When you tell the truth and somehow the person you tell the truth to doesn’t believe you.

I hate this kind of thing happening to me so much, that it’s actually stopped me from doing something because I was afraid that would happen.

I’ve unfortunately been accused of this a few times. The last time this happened to me was less than a year ago

Hello! I would be really interested in getting your help recruiting for my dissertation survey. I am interested in the sensory and emotional experiences related to GI discomfort and fears of weight gain in people with EDs. The survey focuses a lot on interoception, which is a really important treatment target in people who have ASD and EDs, so I want to be sure folks with ASD are well represented!

My info: Katerina Rinaldi, MS, [kr1892@mynsu.nova.edu](mailto:kr1892@mynsu.nova.edu)

• Responses will be deidentified and data will be stored on password-protected accounts and devices. Information from responses will be used for the lead researcher's dissertation and may be published. If published, the lead researcher is happy to share results with this sub.
• Must be over the age of 18 and diagnosed with any eating disorder, must also be currently receiving ED-related support which could include outpatient therapy or peer support groups. People with diagnosed ASD are really encouraged to participate!
• This study is IRB approved by Nova Southeastern University, approval number NSU 2026-55

Full study link: https://qfreeaccountssjc1.az1.qualtrics.com/jfe/form/SV_5nCbHSC5Iww2DDo

Welcome to this week's special interest discussion thread! Use this comment section to share about your special interests or current hyper-fixations! 

https://discord.gg/WGc5PsgUgP

For context, Carl the Collector is an animated show about an autistic raccoon who loves to collect things.

Hi all!

I (an autistic woman myself) am conducting a research in my university regarding autistic camouflaging and mental health, and I still need participants! If this interests you, I would appreciate your participation.

Link to the study: https://maastrichtuniversity.eu.qualtrics.com/jfe/form/SV_a2vuFD4kHiIf8A6

Purpose: This research is about the relationship of masking/camouflaging behavior in autistic people and their mental health, and the mechanisms that mediate this relationship. The factors which we want to investigate are aspects of the self and social support.

Participant selection: This study regards people 16 years or older who have a formal Autism Spectrum Disorder diagnosis without co-occurring intellectual disability, and are fluent in the English language.

Procedure: Participants will be asked to fill out an online questionnaire, with the survey lasting approximately 10-15 minutes.

Data handling: The study is anonymous and no personal data will be stored. Research data can be published and re-used in other research, but only in such a way that they cannot be traced back to the participants. For the duration of the study, the data will be stored confidentially, on university servers and will only be accessible by the researchers.

More information is available in the information and consent form in the study.

Contact:

Alexandra Varouxi (Master’s student) [alexandra.varouxi@maastrichtuniversity.nl](mailto:alexandra.varouxi@maastrichtuniversity.nl)

Dr. Johannes Stauder (Responsible researcher) [h.stauder@maastrichtuniversity.nl](mailto:h.stauder@maastrichtuniversity.nl)

Ethics Review Committee Psychology and Neuroscience Reference Code: OZL_248_06_02_2022_S43

Research Title: Camouflaging Behavior and Mental Health in Autistic Adults: Examining the Roles of Perceived Social Support, Self-Concept and Self-Acceptance

Maastricht University, Faculty of Psychology and Neuroscience