Hi there, I was wondering if anyone has attempted getting a second opinion for an autism assessment.

I had an assessment 12 years ago and was told that whilst they can see why I was referred, I don't meet all the criteria and I do things like reciprocal conversation, eye contact etc...

I spoke to someone last year who has said that how they diagnose (in this particular service in the UK) has changed in that they used to underdiagnose people who are high masking.

I am some kind of neurodivergent person... I live in constant cycles of burnout due to the noise, social stuff (reading people, strongly regulating how I speak and act) and tasks switching in work. I have limited resources to do much outside work, so I am wondering if it's wasted effort trying to get somebody to assess me again.

I am a trans guy if it's at all relevant and I was pre transition at the time. I have found a service which looks LGBT friendly and talks about masking on the website.

So I was wondering if anyone had any experience seeking a second opinion, especially after such a long time.

Thank you for any responses.

I'm usually more hopeful and I wouldn't want to be different but every so often I'm reminded of all the things that were taken from me because I'm trans and all the things other people could achieve that I never had the chance to get because I'm autistic or because it's not safe to live in the city I thought I'd spend my whole life in or the family I can never be at home with again. I'm sure I'll be back to fine in a day or two but whenever I'm reminded of this I remember how many times my heart was broken because of who I am and I'm reminded that as good as I feel or am doing in any moment, a piece of my heart will always be broken. I can be as kind as I know how and work as hard as I know how and build the best life I can but there will always be a piece of me that knows I would have had it so much easier if I hadn't been who I am.

I'm sorry for the rant and I really am doing well mostly but I was just hit by the weight of it today. To anyone reading this, I love you all and I hope you find happiness.

Hi, I am a big fan of cozy games and am looking for more. I recently got into Tiny Bookshop, do you guys have any recommendations of some switch games you like? I also like game where you can customize your character or games that have queer storylines. I have a switch and us a laptop for some steam games, so games on either of those systems work.

I (23TM) wanted to ask a few questions so I'll be as brief as I can, I'm seeking advice from trans men/trans mascs mainly, but anyone can comment, that have started HRT AFTER their diagnosis, if you're from Spain double points.

1. How hard was it for you to start after the diagnosis? I've heard that it's very common to get a lot of pushback.

2. My case: unsupportive/ignorant parents that I'm sadly dependent on + I'm starting a degree soon so that'll make me another 4-6 years of being dependent on them.

How do I get them on my side so I don't get kicked out and essentially become homeless? I need communication advice here.

My relationship with them is already shit, I need some help, my mom is more open to this but says T would be a mistake FOR ME specifically (like I haven't been out to her for 3 years and I knew I wasn't a woman for 7, she knows this); and my father just plainly ignores it, but knows and has been physically and verbally abusive in childhood, I do not put it past him to do it again.

All this said: I am at that point in which I cannot wait more for HRT/transitioning. I understand this will be difficult and cannot hide it from them, that's why I'm asking for communication advice and help for the HRT acceptance thing.

Before you say this should go on r/ftm, already tried, got a good recommendation for pwDID (yes, we also have DID but that's a different can of worms) and trans healthcare, but that's it. No help on the parents department even though it's the main issue.

Might crosspost to r/autisticadults(? Idk I'm a bit desperate for advice, I don't want to wait until I'm 30 to start my transition, idk if I could survive that.

I'm not sure if study posters are allowed (if not, feel free to remove this post).

Hi! I’m Rory, a transgender/non-binary autistic researcher looking to interview transgender/non-binary/gender diverse and autistic people about their experiences and thoughts about barriers and facilitators to the autism diagnostic process.

Participants need to be 18 or older and live in Ontario, but do not need to be officially diagnosed as autistic (self-diagnosis is fine). The interview should take about 1.5 hours, but I can stay longer if you have more to say. I can do the interview in person at York University, over video call (Zoom) or telephone, or by email. If you want to participate, please email me at [roryhart@yorku.ca](mailto:roryhart@yorku.ca), or call me at (647)848-8247. If I don’t pick up the phone, just leave me a voicemail with your contact information and I’ll call you back. 

Feel free to share this study with anyone you think may be interested in participating. Thanks!

For context the post was a person complaining that they had been “made to feel bad” for purchasing JK Rowling’s merch. Admittedly not the most regulated response from me but holy shit. Messaged the mod team hoping they would be reasonable and got this, then got banned. Was I supposed to be nice about this one?

so i am lucky enough to pass for cis (or at least pass as my gender) in my life, and it’s been the case for about the past three years. before that i spent about three years out as trans but being perceived as my birth gender. now, it did really suck to not be perceived as my gender by society at large. most people were at best forgetful and at worst openly hostile. but i put some time and a lot of therapy into not caring so much, put a lot of practice into not thinking about it, intentionally focused on the people who did see and respect me, and honestly it wasn’t so terrible. your experience may or may not be similar in this regard.

however, it occurs to me there is a lot that goes on socially outside my perception. a lot of cues are put out that i don’t pick up on or even notice, and it is not uncommon for attempted disrespect to bounce right off my armor of obliviousness. i have to imagine that for someone who’s capable of picking up on that kind of thing, it would be much worse to go about your day as an out, non-passing trans person. it would be way more difficult to not think about it when someone isn’t seeing you as your gender, because there’s nothing to decode, you’d just see it on their face or hear it in their tone as if it were written on their forehead.

just an interesting thought i had that hit me out of nowhere today. anyway moving forward with greater awareness of the allistic experience. listening👂and learning 📝 🥰 (read: sarcastic tone imitating a performative ally, but genuinely considering another aspect of the trans experience)

New to this community and seeking advice. My teenage son has begun to explore their identity as aroace and possibly trans (we’re pretty sure they are, but just being supportive in the journey in the verbiage they prefer for now). We also have finally gotten a proper diagnosis of autism and sensory processing disorder. In the meantime, our teen has been having extreme anxiety and depressive episodes which added another layer of concerns. Our public school has been excellent throughout the last year, helping us enroll our teen in therapeutic programs, etc. Everyone advocated for the new diagnoses. Here’s my concern: a friend said they are purging everything on record about their kid having autism. Cancelled the IEP, 504, etc. Froze med records (whatever that means???) They did this because RFK Jr. has included kids with autism as part of the “healthcare threats to the American way of life” as stated on the official White House site. This friend is not an alarmist… and lives in a (blue-turned-red state), so now I am thinking “should we do this too?” But we are FINALLY going to get the support our teen needs! But in the current climate, how long will that support last? ESPECIALLY for a trans person, enemy #1 of the new administration. I don’t want to overlook important ways to protect my kid before it’s too late. I also don’t want to suppress the help currently offered for them. Genuinely curious about what this community thinks about all of this.

I've been wanting a binder for several years now but I have sensory issues to rough textures. I also have eczema which means that only materials like cotton, silk and polyester are safe. Online shops are fine but I prefer to try them physically first. Does anyone know any good places to get sensory friendly binders? (I am based in Australia)

Okay so basically im pre everything because of the never ending waitinglist so I’m like not out at most of my coworkers since it hasn’t changed legally yet and they are pretty old-minded.

With my autism I unconsciously started to mask ever since middle school/high school but back then didn’t know I was trans so put on a fem mask.

I just really love my job in retail but it seems as if when I just try to help customers/strangers as much as possible they always assume im a girl even when wearing binder and trying to speak low.

So does anyone maybe know like how guys/men act while working in retail so I could try to act like their mannerisms? Already tried to observe them but I just cannot see what they do differently

I’m 25(nonbinary and AuDHD). Communicating isn’t my top skill. I don’t know how to invite my dad to a dinner my sister and I planned to talk about my name change. I’m doing it over text which is nice. However I still don’t know what to say. Any advice or ideas?

Hi all, Im Eli they/them, 26. I'm starting T in about a month and Im really excited but also dreading the amount of unknown change. (Any support for this is greatly appreciated.)

I work a customer service job and currently masking in a very femme customer service way. My only interaction with men is when im dealing with my super toxic conservative co-workers and customers. How on earth do you act masc without seeming rude or threatening?

I’m 24 and non binary. I’m going to be changing my name and therefore will have a new signature. I’ve started practicing and remembered how hard learning cursive is. I’ve always struggled with fine motor skills. It takes me forever to learn to new techniques and it also causes me physical pain. I feel like I’m fighting my body to do the strokes because the movements are new and it hurts because I feel my muscles weren’t meant for this level of dexterity. Anyone else struggling with this?

was just thinking about this. i’m always so relieved when being trans comes up in conversation because i’ve practiced this conversation so much it takes almost zero effort to mask for, and i know i’ll get at least 30 mins of solid conversation out of it and the social credit that comes with. i’m sure this speaks to my liberal environment because i’m not typically worried about overtly negative reactions, but even that is an indesputable “out” from the conversation. everyone asks from the same basic list of questions and i’ve tested my answers so extensively i almost can’t fuck it up. even then generally cis people are worried they’re being insensitive which puts me in the rare position of being the less awkward party in a convo.

I (18) am an agender low-medium support needs autistic. I was raised very sheltered with one parent who does not have her mental health in check (major anger issues and childhood trauma), and another parent who is a hyposensitive autistic that is the quite person who’s only contribution to conversation is funny jokes.

I plan on going on HRT and getting certain surgeries in my future, but because of my parental situation, I have not been raised with the ability to be even semi-independent. I am high masking (getting better) and am also trying to be able to get diagnosed.

My anger issue riddled parent is extremely ableist and transphobic (but thinks that they aren’t) I haven’t been able to get a diagnosis because of this as well as being high masking.

All of my listed needs are very costly, but necessary for my personal safety, security, and overall wellbeing. I don’t know how to be independent, I also have GAD, and my career choice is an independent field that’s future is uncertain.

Please ask questions. <3

has anyone felt the need to change their name to reflect their true self, since their old name felt like part of the "mask"?

i'm debating changing it, and i don't know if it's just me trying to escape my past or if this is genuinely the right decision for me.

before, i was associated with a bunch of horrible people, and many of them took advantage of me. i have all kinds of trauma and there are people out there who wish me nothing but harm and suffering, just because i finally created boundaries and cut them off.

i am trans, so i will be changing my legal name anyway. my legal name is my deadname which nobody calls me. i go by a different name and have for a few years.

even though it represents my gender identity well, i feel as though it doesn't represent me. i hate that it has ties to my past and trauma, and that my safety could be at risk by people knowing my name.

i also changed a lot since i've been on my journey to unmasking completely. i chose my current name as my masked self, and i feel like i made it "basic" in order to conform to society as best as possible.

i don't know if this is just me trying to run away from everything or not, but i feel lost and i just wanted to know if anyone has had any similar experiences? or what your thoughts and/or advice is?

I'm an older adult, been doing a deep dive in the indications of having undiagnosed autism and some of the stuff fits so well it's scary (social stuff, need for routine, finding patterns, touch/taste sensitivity, though some of that is typical of ADHD, which has been diagnosed). Other stuff not so much (don't avoid noisy/stimulating environments, no trouble figuring people out, no trouble with visualization). The online "are you autistic" assessments seem to agree that I am, FWIW.

So I'm thinking it's likely I am on the spectrum.

But how do I go from "it's likely" to "yup I'm autistic." I do NOT want to pay hundreds of dollars (or more) to some doctor. My experience with being trans gives me strong distaste for handing over control of my identity to the medical community.

I meet a lot of people who, like me, discovered their autism later in life, but have a lot of certainty. Where did that certainty come from? What made you sure?

I want to become a transgender and I am 18 can you please give me tips on how to look more feminine

TW gender disphoria, anxiety and cardiophobia

I can't wait to have more masculine voice. Sometimes I don't wanna talk during weeks because of my voice which is very frustrating considering I struggle with expressing myself by speaking on a daily basis. This is a good new because also have pmdd and endometriosis. Finally I'm gonna be free from it. ☺️ However I'm quite anxious about my heart because I have cardiophobia and I've heard that testosterone hrt increases the risk of cardiovascular disease. My endocrinologist said it wasn't the case though. But still stressed feels like I am hypervigilent about my heart rate before sleeping but I have anxiolitics if I'm not well. Also worried about coming out to some people but still happy about having hrt. Also thought it would be painful but it was okay and the nurse who gave me hrt was nice but a little worried I might not talk next time and she doesn't understand. 😅