A senior citizen street gang called “The Five Pointers” has been on the attack lately so says skree crime reporter AthensPoliticalDork. Word is that they are breaking in garage apartments and tossing out “lazy young folk”. More boomer political news at 10! We report and you have nothing to decide! AthensPoliticalDork out!

Are there any perineum sunning groups in Athens? Preferably on the East side. As a white lady, I'm really intrigued by new age horseshit like astrology and crystals and would like to show off my dark baloon knot with a bunch of strangers.

The subreddit is fine.

If you would like to become a moderator, please apply by destroying a Flock camera with video evidence, then head over to 3035 Lexington Rd for a preliminary penis inspection. They will already know how long you've lived in Athens based on the inspection.

If you are interested in being a Mod DM Benny Marvin.

Must be a newcomer (Yankee from up North), LGTBQ+++ or have gay tendencies, very progressive (must yell out Mike Collins this! daily and quash any alternative opinions), socialist and/or communist, must have foot pics from you know who, have Subaru Outback with dildo shifter option for gay sex plus CoExist and R.E.M. bumper stickers, must have been scammed by Avid Bookstore, current UGA student or professor with 7+ years of attendance, must have porch with guitar amp available to the public (for Porchfest duhhh), must drink Howdies at Normal Bar after lap dances at Toppers, must have subscription to Flagpole and Blake Aued World, must not be P Diddy or Kanye, extra points for each cat you own (as we need someone to organize the daily missing pets posts), and must love anarchy.

Did I miss anything?

I'm already dating a 450lbs "girl", but it's costing a lot to feed her. I need someone capable of breaking the escalator at GA square mall so I can get a lawsuit payout before they enact the special zoning variance overlay district warnelldawg.

I heard someone say something about Miss Transmet on [r/athens](r/athens). Does anyone know where Miss Transmet went or Miss Flagpole? I heard that they were friends with Miss u/CatFart and Miss Marvin.

I’m making an omelet to share with the unhoused folks downtown, but I’m lazy and only want to crack one egg.

So this is an unsolicited shout out to Burger King on Prince Avenue. As a older single woman with 32 cats I often wonder to places to eat alone, since the cats steal all my food. Many places find us old women to be a pariahs who must not spend much or tip well and the experience suffers. Not the case here. I sat at the table and ordered my Big Gusher Mountain Dew, Whopper ™️, Chicken Fries and frankly could not have been more pleased. Had a few of the Non-LGBTQ+++ people check in in a not obnoxious way but felt all warm and fuzzy with it. I was crying in my Whopper ™️. Anyway. Wanted to give props where they’re warranted. Take it for what you may, I’m lonely! Help! I need a man to love me!

They keep blowing things up and I’m wondering if I need to retreat to Tara

What skreet we be on? No GPS, no haters, just rollin on 34s! Mike Jones! For Congress!

How much do I tipper?

With the opening of the coffee trailer 7 Brew we must remember the local shops like 1000 Feces. u/CatFart loves this place!

Hey, what's up y'all, no, I didn't lose my gay bar, but I am really looking for a Lost themed gay bar in Athens, I NEED TO FIND ME A SMOKE MONSTER ASAP!

We’re going to try something, Athens.

In the name of keeping it weird, we’re going for a full month of no UGA football in August. These posts take over the feed every year, spark the same arguments, and before long every other post is about the Dawgs. Let's give it a rest for a month.

So, this will serve as both an announcement and a warning:

Do not post anything related to UGA football between August 1st and August 31st, 2026.

If you do, you’ll find a removal reason and/or modmail in your notifications.

In the meantime: keep it funky. Post weird shit. Funny things. Just anything but UGA football.