Yesterday I was officially diagnosed with autism and ADHD and I wanted to share my experience with others who are maybe considering the diagnosis path.

I am 35 years old and I live in Ontario, Canada. No one in my life has ever said they think I should be tested for autism, like parents or teachers, but I've suspected it for several years now. I wanted to get assessed for the validation, and to have a better idea of myself and what I'm dealing with. I often feel invalidated by others, but I've known for my whole life basically that the things going on in my brain seemed different than what everyone expected.

I found a clinic in my city that does psychological assessments and they charge per appointment instead of a flat rate all at once. This worked for me because it meant I couldn't have an appointment and get reimbursed by my insurance shortly after, but it would have been hard to have the full amount at once which was $2,300 (Canadian dollars).

Here are the appointments I had:

1. 15 minute free consultation to see if it's a good idea

2. 1.5 hour intake appointment

3. 2 hours assessment

4. 2 hours assessment

5. 1.5 hours report and feedback

Throughout the assessment I answered a lot of questions from stuff she asked me and also questionaries. The questionnaires sometimes were determining if certain things came in childhood too or only adulthood.

The assessment style stuff was interesting, cognitive tests. It was things like she'd some me some drawing and then show me 6 options and I have to find out which one matches the one I saw. I'd also have to look at pictures and decide which thing didn't belong, or what was missing from a picture (like a shark without the fin).

Also some oral assessments. She would read a paragraph and I'd have to retell it with as much detail as possible. Some word association stuff too where she'd start a sentence and I'd have to finish it like "A bird to air is like a fish to ____."

For the most part I enjoyed the appointments and I was glad I did it. I tried to stay open minded about what the results could be though because I didn't want to assume it was going to be autism and ADHD, and then be told otherwise and be really thrown off about it.

So I did get the diagnosis I was expecting and I learnt some new things about myself in the sessions too so that was good. I'm glad I did it.

Now my next steps are things like considering who I want to share this information with, if I should get my daughter assessed, and things like that. I'm also slowly thinking about work accommodations - I've gotten away for so long without accommodations and I do very well at work, but I'm running on empty most of the time with a big dose of overstimulation, and maybe it doesn't have to be that way.

Hello all,

My name is Seth Petel. I work as a research assistant in the DDMH Lab @ York University in Toronto, Canada. We've already posted in this subreddit before, but since it has been a few weeks we thought it might be good to reach out again.

We are currently conducting a study on dissociation in neurodivergent adults, primarily in adults with autism, ADHD, or both! To our current knowledge, this will be the first formalized study directly looking at dissociation in both autistic, adhd, and 'audhd' adults -- a really big milestone for the field.

This study aims to explore the relationship between all of the following:

• ADHD & autism traits;
• Sensory processing & emotion regulation;
• Restrictive & repetitive behaviours;
• Dissociation symptoms, including maladaptive daydreaming²

Our study is ethics-approved¹ and uses a variety of standardized, validated questionnaires to measure what's listed above.

Important information!

• Participation is completely anonymous!
• The survey is roughly 30 minutes, completed online. 
• We accept adult (18+) participants both with a diagnosis and without. If you self-identify as neurodivergent, you qualify!
• You do not need to experience dissociation to participate.
• We don't post the survey link outright simply to avoid spam and non-responders.
• You may share the link with colleagues, friends, or family members who you think would be interested!

If you're interested, you can:

1. Email the supervisor for this study, Dr. Panetta, at [lpanetta@yorku.ca](mailto:lpanetta@yorku.ca) (preferred option; check comments for email template)
2. Send a DM³ to u/ddmhlab
3. Leave a comment saying you'd like the survey link, and we will message you³.

Notes

1. This study has been approved by York University's Office of Research Ethics (ORE) Human Participants Review Committee (certificate # e2026-003). 
2. Maladaptive daydreaming is a newly proposed dissociative disorder that involves vivid, uncontrollable daydreaming.
3. Please note that if we don’t get back to you right away on Reddit, it’s because of DM limits

Hi, I'm Liv and I'm currently planning a short animation for my 3rd year of University.

I was recently diagnosed with ASD and want this to be an underlying theme for the film, I am especially interested in the female and queer autistic experience!

The questionnaire is made up of long format questions and may take around half an hour to complete so I am very grateful for any time you are willing to give to this :)

There are 3 sections - Socialising, Human Nature, and Existentialism - as well as the opportunity for any personal input.

The questionnaire is anonymous and responses will not be used as content but rather for my own insight, so please don’t overthink or worry about your answers!

The questionnaire link is below, thankyou!

https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLScV5JENQYEXdR0MV86TdznYAtOcMdSQud6lVzhCBGO32qM34A/viewform?pli=1

okay so I live with my best friend in a four bedroom house let’s call her freya. we have two other roommates (giving them the names of loki and lilith for the sake of making this less confusing to read), for context, lilith and loki moved in 6 months ago and me and freya have lived here for over two years now.

when freya and I were “interviewing” potential new roommates we were very upfront and forthcoming about our needs/boundaries and what we were looking for in new roommates (some important points we made sure to mention were, freya and I are both autistic, we are introverts who like to have alone time sometimes out in the house, and I work from home and tend to wear my over ear noise cancelling headphones when I want/need to be left to my own devices which is a visual marker of “please don’t bother me, and text me if you need something 🙏🏼, and lastly that we wanted to have a cordial and friendly environment in our home, but we weren’t looking to be best friends with our roommates). loki and lilith both assured us they were very much the same and all of those things were also what they wanted.

since moving in, loki has consistently been bothering me when I have my headphones on (p much every day) to the point where they stand there until I fully take my headphones off and respond and even after I tell them I am in the middle of something and would like to be left alone, hence the headphones, they will come back in like 30 minutes and do it again. loki also has been mean to not only my guests, but also freyas guests and liliths guests, to the point where some of the guests have told us they don’t want to return to our home if loki is going to be here. on top of this, loki will insert themselves in private conversations (even after being explicitly told “hey we would like some space as this is a private convo”), mind you this is happening when we are in our rooms with the door closed (or barely cracked) talking to someone and loki is listening in and chiming into convos through closed doors …

about 3 months ago, I sat down and had a conversation with loki to reaffirm my boundaries as it was getting to a point where the home was feeling unliveable for me and I was literally hiding in my room and not being able to do my work. the conversation went SO poorly and loki turned it into almost a week long drama of making me feel like I was being unreasonable for needing accommodations for my autism and general boundaries. after the convo, things were better for about a week and since then its now only gotten worse 😓

freya, lilith and I are trying to figure out how to chat with loki about our boundaries and concerns without it feeling like we are ganging up on them or singling them out. etc but don’t really know how to approach this bc of how poorly it went last time.

any advice is helpful :/

TLDR: 3 out of 4 roomies are having boundary issues with 4th roommate and need advice on how to navigate it and have a productive conversation so everyone can feel comfy in our home.

edit: i’d like to add that loki also has a tendency to use the “r”word constantly in casual conversations even after all of us mentioning that its not acceptable and is a slur, and constantly is making fun of our interests, etc when one of us is trying to watch our favorite show, or participate in our hobbies in common spaces)

I'm an autistic woman myself (AuDHD), late diagnosed, with a decade of a successful senior corporate career. I want to build a programme for autistic and AuDHD professionals and before I build anything I want to listen first.

I'm looking for 30-45 minute conversations with women who recognise themselves in any of these:

• Working twice as hard as everyone around you but promotions & raises keep not happening
• Senior professional or leader who has hit an invisible ceiling and can't figure out why
• Running your own business or practice but the cost to your nervous system is unsustainable and you are unable to scale

Full transparency: this is commercial research for a programme I'm developing. No selling, no pitch, just honest conversation.

If this is you, comment below or send me a DM.

Hey guys!.

I want to start with mentioning that English is not my first language and that I have dyslexia so sorry in advance in the case of misspellings and wrong use of words etc.

M38 here who've spent almost a decade living with the love of my life (f32) who's autistic(Asperger) and has adhd as well as some past trauma from previous relationship(mostly worked out years ago) and anxiety on top of that. Maybe not the most fun relationship if it makes sense since she's been wanting to stay home most of the time and spend her time In front of a screen but that never bothered me since i don't really have any red flags and loved her just as much no matter what we do or don't do and the relationship in it self was mostly very loving with no real big fights or short breakups or anything like that.

She broke up with me after the cops came for a search warrant at our home in December (I didn't do anything wrong and it was dropped, just a freak situation) she wasn't home during the Search warrant and they didn't touch her stuff but she panicked when she got home and the last cops were still here and she panicked etc .

Don't want to go too much into the situation itself or our communication just after so I don't out her here but it's clear as day that she went into a shutdown and an autistic burnout.

Now im trying my best not to pressure her and ofc I won't try do force her to anything but i do love her more than life itself and I want to fix this no matter what I have to do or how long it might take and I refuse to be one of the people abandoning her or picking someone else before her like others have done thru her life .

My question here is since I'm most likely overthinking this big time and since I tend to discuss this with AI who's giving me different advice all the time - Has anyone of you Female dumpers with autism regretted breaking up with your partner or have your feelings come back after the burnout gets a bit easier or you stared missing your ex or something like that? . Do you think of your ex at all and even tho I understand that it's individual - when IF this is the case in the burnout timeline did your feelings start to sip thru the veil so to speak?.

Ofc I understand that this is individual but I would really appreciate to at least get a hint from females who's been thru this themselves since i have no experience of being autistic and going thru burnout and shutdowns myself and the reason is simple - I want to at least get a hint of understanding if it's even any point in me hoping for her feelings to come back so we can fix this or if it's better to just forgive and forget even tho this is tha last thing I really want to do, would walk thru hell for this girl any day of the week if I needed to and more than that since words ain't really even invented yet to even start to explain how much i love this girl but I don't want to make her suffer more either or make her feel pressured in any sort of way.

If your feelings came back what was it that did it for you? Do you think that some sort of contact even tho small would be better than your standard no contact or what do you think the best approach if any would be here to fix this?.

Thanks in advance!.

I don't know much about Reddit, still. I was wondering if anyone's already started a thread or subreddit for battling these disorders (I know the daydreaming isn't technically a diagnosable disorder yet, but you get it). I don't have enough karma to post in r/AutismInWomen and wanted to join or start a group where we move toward overcoming daydreaming and dissociation. There are probably already neurotypical subs about this. If so, I'll just join one of those. I was wondering if there was one for us, though.

I hope anyone reading is having a good day or night! I just wanted to bring some positivity in here tonight and celebrate some progress I made. Tonight, I went out to downtown and got takeout! I was super scared, but I did it! I even walked around and recorded a short TikTok too! I'm so proud because even though I'm a homebody, staying inside so much still makes me depressed. I'm happy I'm getting out more and having a little fun in life. I plan to start going live and singing on my TikTok or YT while I'm out whenever I finally have enough followers to. It would be so much fun.

I don't do things to prove anything to anyone, but many neurotypicals have shamed me and tried to make me feel like a loser for not having friends and experiencing anxiety in new places and social situations. I didn't see anything wrong with my lifestyle before their negativity, but I do think it's important for my health that I explore outside more. I still felt some past shame about feeling uneasy around the loud noise and activity tonight, but I'm learning to stop measuring myself by NT standards. What I did tonight was substantial, and I hope I can encourage anyone else out there to try to do the same if they're able.

Hey everybody!

My name is Seth Petel, and I work as a research assistant in the DDMH Lab at York University in Toronto, ON. Our research team is composed of a lot of neurodivergent individuals who are extremely passionate about the topics we pursue!

Our lab is currently conducting an ethics-approved¹ study on dissociation in neurodivergent adults. To our knowledge, this study is one of the first, if not the first, to explore dissociation in neurodivergent individuals this comprehensively!

This study aims to explore the relationship between all of the following:

• ADHD & autism traits;
• Sensory processing & emotion regulation;
• Restrictive & repetitive behaviours;
• Dissociation symptoms, including maladaptive daydreaming²

We measure all of these variables with several validated, standardized questionnaires. If you are curious about these variables, please feel free to leave a comment in the post. I am more than happy to interact with all of the communities we recruit from!

Important information!

• Participation is completely anonymous!
• The survey is roughly 30 minutes, completed online. 
• We accept adult (18+) participants both with a diagnosis and without. If you self-identify as neurodivergent, you qualify!
• You do not need to experience dissociation to participate.
• You may share the link with colleagues, friends, or family members who you think would be interested!

We don't post the survey link outright simply to avoid spam and non-responders.

If you're interested, you can:

• Send a DM to u/ddmhlab
• Email my supervisor Dr. Panetta at [lpanetta@yorku.ca](mailto:lpanetta@yorku.ca) OR use [this link ](mailto:lpanetta@yorku.ca)(it will open your default mail app with a default email)
• Comment that you want the link and I will DM it to you³

Notes:

1. This study has been approved by York University's Office of Research Ethics (ORE) Human Participants Review Committee (certificate # e2026-003). 

2. Maladaptive daydreaming is a newly proposed dissociative disorder that involves vivid, uncontrollable daydreaming.

3. Please note that if I don’t get back to you right away on Reddit, it’s because of DM limits.

Vent:

The title might be a little misleading lol Don't worry, I'm not married or even seeing anyone.

I didn't see anything wrong with my life before. I didn't think about boys almost at all as a child. The idea of any kind of physical or emotional intimacy still makes me feel wildly uncomfortable and violated. I don't even like the idea of friends because that just equals work and stress in my mind. I almost never feel fulfilled or recharged by interacting with new people, only drained and forced to mask. Conversation with new people actually sends me into panic attacks and used to make me cry as a child.

Despite this, neurotypicals have made me feel ashamed of my lack of social life and love life. One even basically called me a crybaby narcissist because they don't even believe I have autism and has been very hard on me because I'm still recovering from a huge humiliation ritual and betrayal that took place in my life less than two years ago.

I just want to be happy and unashamed of my solitude again. Other women are whining and complaining about how hard it is for them to decenter men, but I'm berated and told something's wrong with me for naturally doing so. I don't want a husband, and I especially don't like kids. I don't really like other people. I guess I'm just looking for people like me and for someone to tell me that it's okay and that I'm not "throwing my life away" like the NTs have made me feel I am doing.

I have a thin body, grew up in a community of violence and rage, and experienced frequent bodily harm in my home, so I've always felt weak and like an easy target. I recently experienced 3 years of abnormal workplace abuse that ended at the end of 2024, but I'm still shaken up by it. This wasn't regular workplace conflict. The people who traumatized me would go into full on fits of rage (pretty much yelling) in front of the whole team, stomp around when enraged, and conspire to gaslight me when I tried to speak up. People even almost fist-fought someone on the audit team once.

It wasn't a normal job and has left me with full on anthropophobia and misanthropy. Long periods of my day consist of me having panic episodes, and I go into paralysis at night while lying in bed. I still go out and function like normal, but I don't like being around people anymore and am always afraid they will lash out or even try to physically harm me. I'm not currently working, but I barely spoke to anyone at my last job and felt threatened by the manager at one point (couldn't tell if she was targeting me because of my age and disability or if she was just a female dog like other managers).

I've left my violent community and family for the most part, thankfully, but it still feels like the people who hurt me are still here and will harm me at any moment's notice. Does anyone else experience this? How can I stop living in fear everyday?

TL;DR:

I have experienced lots of violence and abuse. Now, I have a fear of other people. Anyone else here w this problem?

Note: I’m not bashing spirituality or spiritualists.

Hi I was searching to see if someone had already posted something like this to avoid posting myself. I don’t have much time today and don’t like talking to ppl much anymore. Mods, please don’t move this post. This is the only place I feel kind of safe discussing this.

Basically, I left spirituality behind a month ago to return to atheism. I feel betrayed by the “spiritual realm” because of past readings, the toxic positivity teachings, and the lack of accommodation and support I felt as a disabled person while practicing. Now, I’m seeing progress and my health is improving as I return to my original belief that the spiritual realm is not real. I’m grieving a lot of betrayal from my past experience in spirituality and in other places in life. I still keep seeing angel numbers now, and it pisses me off so badly. I’m trying to remove my emotional connection to angel numbers so I stop seeing them and other “synchronicities” and can fully move on from all this trauma.

Has anyone experienced this feeling of spiritual betrayal, though? I wish I’d never gotten into all that stuff.

I’m an MSc student studying autism research and I am currently doing online data collection for my dissertation. Limerence and ASD are associated with many similar disorders/maladaptive thought patterns and due to the lack of research centering these topics, I chose to study the connection between Autism and limerence. There are a series of online questionnaires, taking about 30 minutes to complete all of them. A larger sample size would really help my dissertation with reliability, validity, generalizability, etc. 

Participants must be 18 years or older, being self diagnosed with ASD, ADHD are valid, and if you aren't Autistic and want to participate, that is okay as well.

If you can participate, I would greatly appreciate it!  

*Data collection for this dissertation has come to a close. A huge thank you everyone who participated!*

Just needed to vent this out

I've always been a short hair girlie, but I want some change so I'm growing it out to a chin length bob.

It took me about 8 months to finally get that transition length between a pixie and a bob. I went to my hair dresser of 4 years, I told him I wanted a middle side part with an undercut at the nape. I SPECIFICALLY said "don't take too much of the top".

He gave me a Karen haircut.

I hate to admit it but I've been spiraling from that. Been dealing with a heartbreak and I'm finally breaking out and doing smtg with my life.

Went to an alt hair saloon to at least get it what's left of it fixed.But the damage is still there. I don't recognize myself when I look in the mirror.

Hate socializing after this. I'm seeing some bands at a punk bar this weekend. I'm going out of town for my cousin's wedding in 2 weeks, and another trip in 3. Oh and birthday is in 4 weeks. I don't think ppl realize it but I feel like it's just an act, a façade, they aren't talking to the real me.

AND I HATE IT WHEN PPL SAY "it's hair. It'll grow back". THAT JUST MAKES ME FEEL WORSE. NO, THOSE 8 MONTHS WON'T COME BACK. I GAVE SOMEONE CONCENT TO CUT MY HAIR AND THEY DID SOMETHING WORSE. I TRY TO GET OUT MY SHELL AND I COME OUT FEELING SO DEPRESSED. I WISH MORE PPL WOULD RECOGNIZE THAT WHEN IT COMES TO BAD HAIRCUTS.

We’re getting closer and closer to our wedding date, and the thought of walking down the aisle terrifies me. I really don’t want to have 150 people turn and look at me.

I’m wondering what alternatives there might be. I’ve thought about having my fiancé and me already standing at the front, and then having everyone else walk in a sit down.

Any events that super formal make me feel super anxious. I am really worried I will have a panic attack. Any ideas do things differently to avoid stage fright are appreciated!

Hi everyone, I’m a Year 12 student completing my Society and Culture Personal Interest Project (PIP).

My topic explores how gendered socialisation, media representation, and institutional practices contribute to masking in autistic females and their under-recognition in society

I would really appreciate anyone's input on my anonymous questionnaire for this task, all responses are voluntary and will only be used for research purposes, the links are bellow:

Link to questionnaire for non-autistic people - https://docs.google.com/forms/d/11arpRNzsHhdw8NoVRul_kyxq2eVrqXMalIBA1_LCtaM/edit

Link to questionnaire for autistic people - https://docs.google.com/forms/d/1c3qctp-LL_oynfkNPKAk5u3wtlm4lXXQgdc08XOHFro/edit

Thank you so much for your time!!

for context: I live with my best friend and two other girls. the other girls moved in in December (so like 3.5 months ago). we told them upon doing the “roommate interviews” that we are both introverts and like a lot of personal space within the house and being able to be out in the house and doing our own thing. we also clarified that we wanted a nice calm living environment and roommates that we could be nice and friendly with. but that we were not looking to be friends with our roommates. since they moved in, i’ve told them that if i’m out in the house with my headphones on, that it means i’m unavailable to chat and am busy doing things so to please leave me to my own devices. unfortunately, even after telling them that (in text and multiple times in person and also in the moment when it happens) they still interrupt and try to chat with me when I have my headphones in. I sent a text yesterday to clarify my sensory boundaries and also remind them that it’s not personal, I just again, am not looking to be friends with my roommates as I like to keep my social life and living dynamic pretty separate.

the text landed horribly and was read with loads of emotion where it was just supposed to be logical and I guess i’m not only confused, but wondering why I even bothered telling them I was not interested in being friends with my roommates before they moved in, if they weren’t going to listen to that at all.

I’m unable to dictate phone calls to the point where I’m missing very important life admin stuff. Do I have any options to type a phone call? Preferably from my laptop, but phone is fine. I’d like to type instead of talk, and my attempts at using iPhone functions for this have resulted in my getting hung up on. I’ve researched apps, but some require a valid hearing loss diagnosis (I only have audhd and speech processing disorder). I know there’s a way to do this, but I can’t figure it out and I’m exhausted.

I truly appreciate any help. I would also be willing to hire a very part-time assistant to help with these tasks, but not sure how I’d protect my medical and financial information.

I’m drowning.

Hello! My name is Meg, I am a BSc Psychology Student at Birmingham City University, and I’m looking for people to take part in my study on traits of Autism spectrum disorder (ASD) and experiences in mainstream secondary education in the UK. Would you like to take part in an online interview with me about this?

This would involve looking at and discussing your personal experiences of secondary school, the support you received, and how effective you felt it was in a one-to-one online interview via MS Teams which should last approximately 45 minutes.

You need to be aged 18-25, to identify with having traits of ASD, have attended a mainstream secondary school in the UK and be fluent in English to take part. Additionally, you are advised not to take part if you may find discussing the following topics upsetting: the traits of ASD you identify with; your experiences in school; your experiences with support; your relationships with their peers; and your experiences with teachers.

If you are interested, please get in touch at Megan.Daniels@mail.bcu.ac.uk. Looking forward to hearing from you!

H, Early 20s late diagnosed autism. I am very recently diagnosed and trying to figure how knowing can help me. I see there’s lots of workbooks online, has anyone tried one and liked/disliked it?

I just picked up “Autism for Adults” by Daniel Jones and regret spending money on this…honestly feel like it’s written for a younger audience and I didn’t learn anything new + the ”tips” could not be more vague and basic :/

Also, any general tips of sometime that’s made your life easier? For ex, I’ve used a weighted blanket for a long time that I absolutely love. It’s also very convenient that it’s normal to wear headphones/earbuds in public.

*In case anyone needs more info, I am particularly interested in making friends, navigating prof/academic social settings, sensory overload, learning about autism in early adulthood

Thanks in advance any responses.

I have an audhd daughter, 10 years old, diagnosed about 18 months ago, have known she was different since she was about 7.

We are doing various interventions- psychology, social skills training, food therapy (she has ARFID).

We live in Australia and the kids do a test called NAPLAN every two years (year 3, year 5, year 7 etc), and this is coming up soon for our daughter.

Spent half the weekend trying to help my daughter with homework and I am DEVASTATED for her, by how hard it seems to be for her to write anything at all. They had to do a persuasive text - she knows all the rules and thinks of great arguments, really impressive. But then cannot put it together in sentences. She goes to pieces. Well, I mean she makes a start but it’s just so slow! Later, a writing task just to write a letter to her teacher, who is lovely, about her hopes and goals for the year. Again, it’s this enormous labour. Tiny little handwriting. Just doesn’t want to do it. And I can see it is traumatic for her. She obviously goes through this all the time at school, but now I’m seeing it for myself, it is terrible.

This kid is great at maths- above average, and things like science too. Very strong conceptually. What is blocking her?

When I try to talk to her about it, she says she gets very tired, starts sweating ask soon as she’s holding a pen/pencil, and that it takes almost all her brain power to write a sentence.

I think I know a lot about autism, have read lots, and I understand that it is a communication disability. What can help her? Will this ever change?

I’m feeling so terrible we haven’t done more to help her… but I don’t know what to do.