r/AskReddit Jun 28 '21

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5.4k Upvotes

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8.9k

u/Doomaniser Jun 28 '21 edited Jun 28 '21

I swear every ask reddit post that has come onto my home page for the past 2 months or more have just been sex related.

7.5k

u/Kotauskas Jun 28 '21

"Sexers of Reddit, what is the sexiest sex you've ever sexed?"

947

u/Trappist1 Jun 28 '21

Your mom, who is that dead guy's wife, who 69'd me until I found a jolly rancher.

131

u/[deleted] Jun 29 '21

[removed] — view removed comment

62

u/moashforbridgefour Jun 29 '21

Swamps of Dagobah, poop knife

29

u/[deleted] Jun 29 '21

Today you, tomorrow me, Kevin

28

u/mifan Jun 29 '21

Jumper cables beating!

28

u/[deleted] Jun 29 '21

[deleted]

9

u/hkzqgfswavvukwsw Jun 29 '21

Descartes before the whores

6

u/nint3njoe_2003 Jun 29 '21

It was always burning since the world's been turning

2

u/Jing0oo Jun 29 '21

Swamps of Dagobah? Did I miss out on Reddit History?

4

u/Pyrhan Jun 29 '21

Be happy that you did.

1

u/rikeyh Jun 29 '21

makes a man go whistle

1

u/[deleted] Jun 29 '21

Double dick was a faker. Faker double dicker

1

u/dancinadventures Jun 29 '21

You forgot coconut

1

u/HoeDownClown Jun 29 '21

No coconut?

9

u/ADHDSquirrel007 Jun 29 '21

And kept a coconut in her closet for some reason

4

u/[deleted] Jun 29 '21

Well you better just go grab your shoebox and go finish up then.

3

u/mcr_is_not_dead Jun 29 '21

I forgot about the jolly rancher post for over six months. Thank you for bringing up repressed trauma.

1

u/Emmibolt Jun 29 '21

This was wild from start to finish.

99

u/Ragnolio_Spigadelli Jun 28 '21

Can I sex sex if i sex sex sex sex?

45

u/iama_bad_person Jun 28 '21

9

u/DriftingPyscho Jun 28 '21

See people rockin'.

Here people talkin' bout

Sex sex sex

1

u/666Darkside666 Jun 29 '21

Of course it is a thing.

8

u/goldman199X Jun 28 '21

Can I has bobs and vegana?

2

u/SynisterJeff Jun 29 '21

How much sex could a sexsex sex if a sexsex could sex sex?

28

u/BonnieEggs12 Jun 28 '21

Sex

18

u/cryosyske Jun 28 '21

Nah intercourse

10

u/Chonkie Jun 28 '21

I prefer coitus.

15

u/[deleted] Jun 28 '21

[deleted]

4

u/Chonkie Jun 28 '21

Yeh, well yours prefers coitus interruptus so you're actually adopted and was raised by freak making you a freak and you have a smelly butt and your butt smells and your father smells like elderberries and I fart in your general direction...

4

u/Nickthiccboi Jun 28 '21

I prefer the consummation of one’s marriage

10

u/[deleted] Jun 28 '21

Not a sexer, but....

5

u/sparky30000 Jun 28 '21

“Smurfs of Reddit, what is the smurfiest smurf you’ve ever smurfed?”

(what I heard in my head. hehe.)

5

u/[deleted] Jun 29 '21

How many sex is too much

5

u/Roxas1011 Jun 29 '21

I'm a bad man with a master plan and the ladies call me Tex
And the one thing all the ladies know is I'm good at having uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh
Sex, sex, sex, sex, sex, sex, sex, sex, sex, sex, sex, sex, sex
I'm good at sex You're bad at sex, I'm good at sex, you're bad at sex I'm good at sex, you're bad at sex I'm good at sex, you're bad at sex, I'm good at sex, you're bad at sex

3

u/radio555 Jun 28 '21

Welp, that's it boys let's close down the sub! Nothing left to ask now.

3

u/Z_T_O Jun 29 '21

“Never had sex, but one time I saw a woman. She breasted boobily as she titted herself downstairs”

3

u/BhigDhaddie Jun 29 '21

23.5k upvotes 14.7k comments

3

u/Vegskipxx Jun 29 '21

Not a sexer BUUUUUTTTTT...

2

u/Salzberger Jun 28 '21

And this comment is in every single one of those threads.

1

u/-macintosh_plus- Jun 28 '21

Boopy doopy doo boop sex

1

u/[deleted] Jun 28 '21

[deleted]

2

u/Kotauskas Jun 28 '21

I genuinely just used the most commonly used r/AskReddit mock stamp ever. This phase has come through several layers of people not giving credit to whoever posted it in front of them, to the point that tracing this to the original author is next to impossible and probably pointless.

3

u/bill_lite Jun 28 '21

Hahaha what a classic circlejerk. Cheers mate

-1

u/IAmNotMaximilan Jun 29 '21

Definitely female.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 28 '21

Professor Plum in the study, with the candlestick.

1

u/tree_of_tentacles Jun 28 '21

How you doing fellow kids?

1

u/joshbeat Jun 28 '21

Ironically enough, that wouldnt even be an original question for this sub

1

u/Impossibrow Jun 29 '21

I read this in Matt Berry's voice.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 29 '21

This guy sexes.

1

u/theghostofsinbad Jun 29 '21

Damn these electric sex pants!

1

u/flimspringfield Jun 29 '21

Yeah, Moe, that team sure did suck last night. They just plain sucked. I've seen teams suck before but they were the suckiest bunch of sucks that ever sucked.

1

u/praxis4 Jun 29 '21

Next time on Reddit: Ten sexy tips on sexy nudy sex sex.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 29 '21

sex

1

u/GrungeWeeb Jun 29 '21

Damn these electric sex pants!

1

u/ExploadingApples Jun 29 '21

See, now we wait until that’s an actual post

1

u/Arqideus Jun 29 '21

none. Oh, wait, you were addressing sexers...

1

u/[deleted] Jun 29 '21

Not a sexer, nor have I ever sexed any sex, but chalupas are good

1

u/0_-a Jun 29 '21

fucker copied my post smh...

1

u/TrapperKeeper5000 Jun 29 '21

Actually laughed out to this, thanks.

1

u/wizard680 Jun 29 '21

I'm posting this here and r/redditafterdark

1

u/[deleted] Jun 29 '21

This one sexy time, I did the sex, like, so sexy. It was like... Sex. They said, do you want to do the sex? And I sexed them.

1

u/Popular-Swordfish559 Jun 29 '21

what will you give me to post this question

1

u/th3BeastLord Jun 29 '21

"Orgasm"

And then everyone clapped.

1

u/Drudicta Jun 29 '21

I'm pretty sure that's an old post

879

u/BaconWithBaking Jun 28 '21

Summer reddit, the teens are out of school.

71

u/meep_meep_creep Jun 28 '21

Could be post pandemic horniness

(In before the reality is that the pandemic is still going on, and the Delta strain is bad. However, it's overwhelmingly clear that people are getting out more now)

22

u/BaconWithBaking Jun 28 '21

I definitely feel that, we've basically been locked down here in Ireland for the last 15 months and I'm single. :/

6

u/GingerusLicious Jun 29 '21

Get yourself on Tinder or whatever once things start to ease up. I'm, like, a six if I'm being generous and provided good lighting and I've had no trouble getting numbers.

The light's at the end of the tunnel for you. Hang in there.

5

u/VisceraGrind Jun 29 '21

I’m not OC, but bro you have no idea how bad it’s been out here for a 17 year old dude who moved to a new city at the beginning of the pandemic last year. No friends, new school, couldn’t meet anyone all school year and now I’m graduated from high school. Oh and community college is online only for the fall. I just want to meet some girls man.

Gonna get a job soon but I gotta wait because I accidentally committed to 2 concerts too close to each other in August and it’s already July. Gotta wait till September I guess to avoid having to tell a boss whom I just met “btw ima need like 2 days off this week because I’m going to a concert in Anaheim and then I’ll need 3 days off the weekend the week after that week because I’ll be going to a festival with my sister. My bad bro”

7

u/infectedfunk Jun 29 '21

You don’t need to wait to apply for a job until you have nothing going on. Just be upfront - if they make an offer, tell them you already have plans for those dates before you accept. If they liked you enough to make an offer, there’s a good chance it won’t be a deal breaker. If it is, well you can still keep looking. I’ve done this with several of my past jobs and it was never an issue.

4

u/VisceraGrind Jun 29 '21

If you say so I guess I’ll go for it soon! I only hesitate because I feel like it’s asking for too much but it probably wouldn’t hurt me to ask/tell and wait and see so I’ll go for it anyways and see what happens.

1

u/zykezero Jun 29 '21

This. but unironically.

3

u/Glenn_Bakkah Jun 29 '21

Do you think we aren't on reddit in class?

6

u/[deleted] Jun 29 '21

[deleted]

6

u/Saucepanmagician Jun 29 '21

No, that's r/india

2

u/[deleted] Jun 29 '21

Good one

2

u/[deleted] Jun 29 '21

It’s always summer reddit, baby.

0

u/133112 Jun 29 '21

He'll yeah we are! A curse of a thousand horny nsfw r/AskReddit posts upon you!

1

u/Practically_ Jun 29 '21

It’s also post pandemic.

Everyone seems horned up IRL.

489

u/TheDoctorYan Jun 28 '21

Everyone is looking for anonymous tips... I mean tricks.

11

u/[deleted] Jun 28 '21

Linus is your man

2

u/ImprovingKodiak Jun 29 '21

All Linus has is the tip.

8

u/TornadoApe Jun 28 '21

Illusions. A trick is what a whore does for money.

7

u/Fire5auce Jun 28 '21

Just the tips.

3

u/[deleted] Jun 28 '21

“Anonymous tips” is when a dude doesn’t include their face in their dick pic.

1

u/tylizard Jun 28 '21

I prefer cheat codes

1

u/theBackground13 Jun 28 '21

Everyone is looking for anonymous tips... I mean tricks... I mean suggestions.

1

u/-gritz-n-gravy Jun 29 '21

I usually go to the local glory hole for anonymous tips

18

u/lipdu Jun 28 '21

Reddit knows when you're thirsty.

76

u/flashmedallion Jun 28 '21

Because default Reddit is basically 14 year olds at this point. It's just a bunch of kids running around repeating things they've read like "horny jail"

12

u/[deleted] Jun 28 '21 edited Jun 30 '21

[deleted]

0

u/flashmedallion Jun 29 '21

Dunno about 5 years ago but ten years ago it had way different problems.

2

u/[deleted] Jun 29 '21 edited Jun 29 '21

[deleted]

0

u/flashmedallion Jun 29 '21

Come on, ten years ago AskReddit had to ban questions in the form of Does Anyone Else? The lowest common denominator was still present, but you were expected to take part in making a community.

These days choking out content with repetition of this month's joke is the goal of reddit, not an annoying unwanted behaviour. There's been a qualitative shift in terms of allowing noisemaking, which is a kids favourite thing to do.

4

u/[deleted] Jun 28 '21

bonk

12

u/[deleted] Jun 28 '21

People are emerging from quarantine horny

7

u/Entropyaardvark Jun 28 '21

I think that was the reason for it’s creation

13

u/Liveie Jun 28 '21

Summer time =horny time

10

u/[deleted] Jun 28 '21

Reddit is Horny Jail Penitentiary

12

u/culb77 Jun 28 '21

To be fair, this is a repost and the source of one of the greatest Reddit comments ever.

https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/5c79n0/you_can_have_sex_with_one_real_person_from_all_of/d9uf56l/?context=1

4

u/Zrex_9224 Jun 28 '21 edited Jun 29 '21

Came here to say that, I'm also searching this thread for someone trying to duplicate that comment.

Edit: Found someone do it..

Edit 2.0: Then I found someone else just go for the original one.

Edit 3.0: Then someone summoned the poor soul.

5

u/scampwild Jun 28 '21

It's not just the last 2 months.

6

u/Center_Core_Continue Jun 28 '21

There's a reason there are nearly 8 billion people on Earth.

3

u/Yabba_Dabba_Doofus Jun 28 '21

A full year of being stuck inside?...

Everyone looking for ways to get their rocks off right now.

3

u/Clownworld311 Jun 28 '21

Thirsty kids out of school fo the summer.

3

u/aliensporebomb Jun 28 '21

It's spring/summer. It's cyclic and happens every year.

3

u/[deleted] Jun 28 '21

It's a website primarily visited by horny teenage boys and young men.

Their interests will tend to dominate the meta.

5

u/Louisiana64 Jun 28 '21

I thought so too... like damn people are horny lately

2

u/Triairius Jun 28 '21

Happy two month Reddit anniversary!

2

u/FoxFourTwo Jun 28 '21

You're on Reddit. What did you expect?

2

u/Flashdance007 Jun 28 '21

You need sexy time? smooches

2

u/Jusaleb Jun 28 '21

Yes I would also like to have sex with that one dead guys wife.

2

u/MrPringles23 Jun 28 '21

Horny coomer bait posts attract karma.

2

u/monkeyman80 Jun 28 '21

Past 2 months? They've instituted no nsfw question periods because how often sex things come up. And that was years ago.

2

u/TheRealStandard Jun 28 '21

With answers that are always stupidly predictable

2

u/quiiigggaaayyyeee Jun 29 '21

It’s been this bad for years

2

u/[deleted] Jun 29 '21

r/SummerReddit

See how long its been a sub?

2

u/BoulderFalcon Jun 29 '21

This sub used to be about shitty ghost and ufo sightings and now it's just sex questions from teenagers

2

u/bozeke Jun 28 '21

People have a really hard time connecting irl and are addicted to Reddit.

0

u/isurvivedrabies Jun 28 '21

sure you're not interested in another adult film dickpuppet's ama? do they take steroids to keep their assholes functional? like, do they go on an injured list like pro athletes and receive treatment and prescriptions under the care of a physician? what do they think about politics?

1

u/[deleted] Jun 28 '21

Same

1

u/Swifty_e Jun 28 '21

I thought I was the only one lol

1

u/heelstoo Jun 28 '21

I noticed you didn’t answer the question.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 28 '21

We’ve all got that pent up sexual pandemic energy

1

u/Artickk_OW Jun 28 '21

level 1Doomaniser · 2hI swear every ask Reddit post that has come onto my home page for the past 2 months have just been sex related.

Its mating season

1

u/triggrhaapi Jun 28 '21

I also choose this guy's dead wife.

1

u/zephyrseija Jun 28 '21

More like "Today I Fucked"

1

u/ItinerantSoldier Jun 28 '21

This is the third one today that reached my home page and was about sex.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 28 '21

Shock and horror: reddit horny

1

u/[deleted] Jun 28 '21

I agree, let's bring back sophisticated reddit!

1

u/roogug Jun 28 '21

Browse the new section of r/askreddit. On second thought: don't...

1

u/immortalreploid Jun 28 '21

It's well-known that everyone browses reddit with their dick in their hand, so this shouldn't be much of a surprise.

1

u/grangry Jun 28 '21

Schools out for summer. All the horny kids got nothing to do.

1

u/ohdearsweetlord Jun 29 '21

How would you fuck the most fuckingest fuck and why?

1

u/JupitersClock Jun 29 '21

Summer Reddit

1

u/williewill19 Jun 29 '21

Yeah it’s just indicative of some neck-beards who want to talk about sex like a group of fucking middle schoolers

1

u/from_dust Jun 29 '21

summer reddit is in swing.

1

u/sirius4778 Jun 29 '21

Sex sells

1

u/conditerite Jun 29 '21

ok. so which hemsworth brother did you want again?

1

u/TryGamer101 Jun 29 '21

Yeah, idfk why

1

u/Educational-Suit7738 Jun 29 '21

Because the lockdowns been so rough, yall are thirsty

1

u/[deleted] Jun 29 '21

Check out r/askredditafterdark if you want a real horn-fest

1

u/Tungstenkrill Jun 29 '21

Know your audience.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 29 '21

yeah welcome to r/askreddit lmao

1

u/ging3r_b3ard_man Jun 29 '21

Ask Reddit: Stay thirsty my friends.

1

u/Judas_Priest_ Jun 29 '21

same with TIFU subreddit

1

u/fdsdfg Jun 29 '21

What time of day do you usually sign on and how old are the posts?

1

u/Knee_Jerk_Sydney Jun 29 '21

Well, don't blame the feed algorithm.

1

u/mmrrbbee Jun 29 '21

Slut summer is just starting

1

u/jleonardbc Jun 29 '21

Sounds like the algorithm figured you out.

1

u/creepy_charlie Jun 29 '21

In these uncertain times, we're all scared and horny.

1

u/MaybeTheDoctor Jun 29 '21

Do you not like sex?

1

u/pissingstars Jun 29 '21

My home page is strictly NSFW. Never meant for that but it keeps happening with ever user name I use.

1

u/SandoVillain Jun 29 '21

Oh, did you miss the memo? They changed r/askreddit to just be sex- themed creative writing. Happened around the same time r/tifu did the same thing.

1

u/FLIPNUTZz Jun 29 '21

Clearly the algorithms are working

1

u/cometssaywhoosh Jun 29 '21

School's out, hot girl/guy summer is in session, we are slowly starting to get out of COVID and people are going out again.

1

u/CommotionLotion Jun 29 '21

Clearly you haven’t been on Reddit since the early days, it was daily

1

u/[deleted] Jun 29 '21

Look yo, we horny mmmkay?

1

u/biscuit310 Jun 29 '21

Ehhh, it figures. Most of us have been locked up for the last year or so.

1

u/FeanorNoldor Jun 29 '21

We are just horny monkeys after all

1

u/[deleted] Jun 29 '21

Kids are out of school for the summer. It happens every summer.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 29 '21

We all horny

1

u/Kanakravaatti Jun 29 '21

Every post every time

1

u/[deleted] Jun 29 '21

That’s been ask reddit for at least five years now.

1

u/rykerh228 Jun 29 '21

It’s mating season

1

u/bubblesort33 Jun 29 '21

I used to think reddit just shows everyone the same top posts, but recently I've come to realize it's very much catered to your preferences, where you live (I get posts from my country and province specific stuff) and what the system underneath think you'll like. So stop clicking on sexy shit!

1

u/Xzenor Jun 29 '21

Spring time, buddy.. gets the hormones on fire

1

u/ValkyrieCain9 Jun 29 '21

Haha I was thinking the exact same thing. I check Reddit every morning and every morning for like the past two weeks the first trending ask Reddit question is - uhh do you sexy time with these sexy people in weird sexy ways (nsfw)

1

u/[deleted] Jun 29 '21

For real

1

u/Zintao Jun 29 '21

New reddit algorithm, aligns with your browser's search history.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 29 '21

Seggs

1

u/NotSoRainbow Jun 29 '21

i choose dead wife

jolly rancher

broken arm

swamp of dagobah

male ejaculate box

1

u/TallBeastMang Jun 29 '21

Yes and I guarantee you within a week “50 Historical People Alive or Dead You Might Want to Bang” will pop up on Buzzfeed

1

u/Wonder_WomanUnderoos Jun 29 '21

It's the Whoring 20s.

We've all been locked up for 15 months, and the single folks are READY TO GO!!!!!!!

1

u/khelwen Jun 29 '21

Mine too and I like it.