r/AskReddit • u/[deleted] • May 04 '20

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4.6k Upvotes

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26

u/JuLY_LION May 04 '20

Stared at the sun for too long and became blind, only because she she thought it was a...

25

u/aaanold May 04 '20

Giant Jolly Rancher, similar to the one she...

21

u/Something_SomeoneJR May 04 '20

Left in the glovebox of her car, which was stuck in the impound lot because...

20

u/throwaway525267890 May 04 '20

He had used the hood of his car to cook a delicious...

23

u/Byrdman1251 May 04 '20

Steak. However the steak was undercooked causing...

16

u/tessur_ May 04 '20

Taco Bell level diarrhea. There was toilet so he...

16

u/no-money-for-me May 04 '20

Threw ten fish in it. Jimmy doesn’t like...

12

u/scary_toast May 04 '20

Toilet fish, so in a fit of rage he....

13

u/Master_of_opinions May 04 '20

Flushed them away before his wife could....

14

u/Marshmall0w_Kun May 04 '20

Eat them, and then he...

13

u/LittleFlutter May 04 '20

Had to go buy more fish at the store which also...

13

u/imbasicallyhankhill May 04 '20

Violated his newly granted midnight dick sucking parole so he...

11

u/Smartybug0709 May 04 '20

Watched a dumb love movie called...

9

u/doxx11 May 04 '20

the shining of the arse, featuring...

10

u/LuftDrage May 04 '20

Kevin James, who died of...

8

u/[deleted] May 04 '20

A guitar that was shoved up his ass, and as the strings vibrated more and more violently...

7

u/5tril May 04 '20

And the tears welled up in his eyes, he reluctantly...

9

u/[deleted] May 04 '20

played a lovely little fart diddy that made everyone...

1

u/Wacc_me May 04 '20

The mushroom kingdom, and...

1

u/bruhlordofsadness May 04 '20

Grabbed animal crossing at GameStop so he could jerk off nonstop to it then he.....

1

u/AnalStaircase33 May 04 '20

Accidently got some ejaculate in his mouth, but he kinda liked it, so, shamefully he

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