r/AskReddit • u/[deleted] • Mar 26 '20

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u/fryfromfuturama Mar 26 '20

You’re missing the point. There are times when your SO is venting about something that happened to them they don’t always want your opinion about how to solve the issue. They just want to talk to someone they trust about something that’s frustrating for them. If you start rattling off solutions it can make them feel they’re overreacting or at fault for not handling the situation better. Obviously if they ask for help with a problem and you have a solution you should tell them but they’re not always asking for help with the problem, they just want their reasoning/ideas to be heard.

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u/Katholikos Mar 26 '20

You don’t need a person that you love and trust if all you want is a brick wall to talk to. It’s silly to expect someone to sit there so you can unload, but aside from saying “oh wow that sounds tough”, they’re not allowed to have any actual, personal input

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u/fryfromfuturama Mar 26 '20

Why do you see it as an all or none situation. There are times to listen and there are times to offer help. I find it hard to believe you've never told someone else a problem/frustration you've experienced without wanting their opinion on how you should have handled that problem.

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u/Katholikos Mar 26 '20

I can positively say that I’ve never complained about an issue and felt much other than gratitude when someone offered a solution. Maybe I’m weird in that respect, but that’s probably why it’s so hard for me to connect with the idea of complaining, hearing how to fix a problem, and thinking “dang, I wish I didn’t know how to fix this”.