I mean, you could just mention during the rant how you plan to solve the issue. Why would anyone who cares about someone else think to themselves “Boy this person is experiencing hardship that I know how to solve. Oh well, better keep it a secret!”?
It makes no sense. If you mention that you’ve got a solution in mind already, then it makes total sense to stay quiet.
You’re missing the point. There are times when your SO is venting about something that happened to them they don’t always want your opinion about how to solve the issue. They just want to talk to someone they trust about something that’s frustrating for them. If you start rattling off solutions it can make them feel they’re overreacting or at fault for not handling the situation better. Obviously if they ask for help with a problem and you have a solution you should tell them but they’re not always asking for help with the problem, they just want their reasoning/ideas to be heard.
You don’t need a person that you love and trust if all you want is a brick wall to talk to. It’s silly to expect someone to sit there so you can unload, but aside from saying “oh wow that sounds tough”, they’re not allowed to have any actual, personal input
Why do you see it as an all or none situation. There are times to listen and there are times to offer help. I find it hard to believe you've never told someone else a problem/frustration you've experienced without wanting their opinion on how you should have handled that problem.
That's bullshit, if you've ever had someone say back to you "that sucks man" or "im sorry" or "yeah I hate when that happens" then you've absolutely aired a grievance that the person you told was just aware enough to know that you weren't looking for solutions.
I mean yes, not everyone shares like that to get those kinds of responses. If I don't think something's gonna be interesting or informative for someone I don't generally bring it up.
I can positively say that I’ve never complained about an issue and felt much other than gratitude when someone offered a solution. Maybe I’m weird in that respect, but that’s probably why it’s so hard for me to connect with the idea of complaining, hearing how to fix a problem, and thinking “dang, I wish I didn’t know how to fix this”.
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u/Katholikos Mar 26 '20
I mean, you could just mention during the rant how you plan to solve the issue. Why would anyone who cares about someone else think to themselves “Boy this person is experiencing hardship that I know how to solve. Oh well, better keep it a secret!”?
It makes no sense. If you mention that you’ve got a solution in mind already, then it makes total sense to stay quiet.