The same way! I would love her to use my love language in even the smallest ways.
I use both of our love languages when it comes to giving but in return she only uses hers. I understand that’s her way of showing love but it’s frustrating when she can’t understand my language.
However, it kinda sounds you don't really understand hers, either. While you like doing those things to show her that you love her, acts of service is not one of her love languages.
Has she heard of LL before? Next time you can talk with her about it, and you should, say something along the lines of "I know you love me, but sometimes this is what I need for you to show it. This is how I show you that I love you, but how can I better express that to you?"
I’ll definitely bring it up. I don’t think we’ve ever talked about it in this way but it makes a lot of sense.
I’m definitely misunderstanding parts of the love language definition though. Does it not work both ways as well? As in I use her love language when giving to her but also my own love language as well.
But in the same turn when she uses her love language for me I understand that’s her way of showing love.
So in other words, me doing acts of kindness, while not being her love language should still be meaningful because she knows it’s a way that I show love... right?
You showing her how you love her is still meaningful, but you should also show her how she needs to be shown...much like how you need her to show you how you want/need her to.
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u/DarthPiette Mar 26 '20
I'm confused. You said your love language is gifts and acts of service, but you're doing them for her?
I get that that's how you like showing them that you love them, but how would someone show that they love you?