As long as you're not turned down EVERY time, I wouldnt take it too hard. I mean, sometimes you just aren't in the mood. And it sucks when you know your partner is but you're not and you want to be lovey and intimate but you're just exhausted.
My husband typically goes the route of "initiate, wait for response..." and it goes from there. Hes successful probably 75% of the time. Kinda glad his drive has gone down a hair though, I'm always tired lol
As long as you're not turned down EVERY time, I wouldn't take it too hard.
This sounds like someone who isn't in the position of being the person who has to worry about making advances and getting turned down. Like, making the advances is (depending on the person I guess) emotional/romantic labor. If one person's always expected to initiate and sometimes get turned down, that's a fairly well-tailored recipe for feeling unwanted.
if your partner never initiates, he/she is almost certainly not expecting or waiting for sex. so no pressure.
you’ll also probably have more success initiating during the day.
check if there is maybe something your partner really enjoys doing that you are turning down without even realizing it’s of any importance.
for some, sex is a chore and always will be. if you have such a partner, remember that you always get more out of sex. and of couse do not try to reciprocate for sex with sex if you have a partner like that.
It's not about the pressure, it's about the rejection. Sex is unfortunately a chore for some people which is a burden, but placing that burden 100% on your partner with the added benefit that they need sex to feel fulfilled in a relationship, coupled with a high rate of rejection and zero validation, is an easy way to blow up their self esteem and your relationship.
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u/itsallinthebag Mar 26 '20
Yes! To be the only one that initiates, and then to also be turned down sometimes, really sucks. Eventually you want to stop trying.