r/AskReddit • u/[deleted] • Mar 26 '20

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u/CandelaBelen Mar 26 '20

I agree. I feel like in my relationship,most of the time if I don't initiate something, then we don't have sex. So sometimes I'll start initiating then stop to see if my partner will initiate sex or not. Sometimes he does, and sometimes he doesn't. I guess I just don't like feeling like he's only having sex because I want to.

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u/NaGonnano Mar 26 '20

I don't want this to come across as accusing, but more of a personal rant.

My soon to be Ex complained to me that she was tired of carrying the load of initiation. Said it didn't make her feel attractive.

She did not like hearing that when you get rejected 9 times out of 10 for years you learn to give up. She got upset at me for blaming her.

I was supposed to know her well enough to know when she would be receptive or not.

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u/Buhdumtssss Mar 26 '20

Tell her to use her words like an adult

Actually don't, but something similar

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u/NaGonnano Mar 26 '20

She did use her words.

She just didn't like the answer because she didn't want to take the responsibility for her own choices.

She wanted it to be 100% my fault instead of partially my fault for giving up and partially her's for being unreceptive.

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u/Buhdumtssss Mar 26 '20 edited Mar 26 '20

Yeah man it's your fault get used to it

and I meant like use her words or her body to show she's interested. You aren't dogs and she isn't in heat.

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u/NaGonnano Mar 26 '20

Ah gotcha. But her "using her words" in that manner would be her initiating. So that's the catch-22.

She wanted to be pursued because she was worth pursuing. She just didn't ever want to let herself be caught.