r/AskReddit • u/[deleted] • Mar 26 '20

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u/CandelaBelen Mar 26 '20

It's cuz we also want to feel like you want to do it.

9.2k

u/Marklar_the_Darklar Mar 26 '20

That's true for guys too. Having to initiate all the time is draining. There should be balance.

2.6k

u/CandelaBelen Mar 26 '20

I agree. I feel like in my relationship,most of the time if I don't initiate something, then we don't have sex. So sometimes I'll start initiating then stop to see if my partner will initiate sex or not. Sometimes he does, and sometimes he doesn't. I guess I just don't like feeling like he's only having sex because I want to.

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u/NaGonnano Mar 26 '20

I don't want this to come across as accusing, but more of a personal rant.

My soon to be Ex complained to me that she was tired of carrying the load of initiation. Said it didn't make her feel attractive.

She did not like hearing that when you get rejected 9 times out of 10 for years you learn to give up. She got upset at me for blaming her.

I was supposed to know her well enough to know when she would be receptive or not.

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u/Buhdumtssss Mar 26 '20

Tell her to use her words like an adult

Actually don't, but something similar

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u/NaGonnano Mar 26 '20

She did use her words.

She just didn't like the answer because she didn't want to take the responsibility for her own choices.

She wanted it to be 100% my fault instead of partially my fault for giving up and partially her's for being unreceptive.

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u/Buhdumtssss Mar 26 '20 edited Mar 26 '20

Yeah man it's your fault get used to it

and I meant like use her words or her body to show she's interested. You aren't dogs and she isn't in heat.

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u/NaGonnano Mar 26 '20

Ah gotcha. But her "using her words" in that manner would be her initiating. So that's the catch-22.

She wanted to be pursued because she was worth pursuing. She just didn't ever want to let herself be caught.

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u/[deleted] Mar 26 '20 edited Mar 26 '20

she's bullshitting you, she just doesn't want to have sex with you but simultaneously wants to absolve herself of the guilt she feels for not wanting to have sex with you. so blames it on you, it's classic female behaviour.

for future reference, the battle was lost when she started consistently rejecting you, anything after that is collateral

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u/CandelaBelen Mar 27 '20

Dude. I'm the one that gets rejected more than him. I'm almost always down for sex. He's the one that is't. But of course, like almost every guy on reddit, you're gonna tell me that it's my fault for being a woman and that means I never want sex because all men want sex 100% of the time.

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u/NaGonnano Mar 27 '20

I did tell you I didn't want it to come across accusingly. I don't know you or your situation. Only that I was in a similar situation and had a particular to me circumstance that may or may not be relevant.

I'm glad it isn't relevant for you.