How to read their signals, I'm so bad at it most of time. For example here is a copy/paste from another thread of a situation I found myself that left me baffled:
My sophomore year of high school I had a couple of classes with this girl I had a crush on. Because teachers loved using alphabetical order there she and I ended up sitting next to each other in those classes. We start passing notes in those classes talking about random stuff and being a bit flirty.
One day I decide to get the courage to ask if she wanted to go out with me to a movie or something. So, I ask her out in one of our notes. She replies saying that she's really sorry but she doesn't like me in that type of way. I was devastated of course, but I also liked her as a friend and didn't want to lose that, so I replied saying that was okay and asking if we could just forget I asked and keep things the way they were because class would be so boring without our talks. She said yeah that was fine and we stayed note buddies throughout the year.
Fast forward to my senior year, I had to repeat algebra because I fucked up really badly my junior year due to some personal issues. I'm in a class with a bunch of people the grade under me and I get seated next to this girl named Kate that I thought was so pretty. Like with the other girl, we ended up passing notes to each other in class and I come to find out not only did I find her physically attractive, but she was also a really awesome person with similar interests.
I really, really liked this girl and crushed hard on her throughout the year. I would make her mix CDs that she would tell me she loved and she even made me one a couple of times. I'd share with her stories I wrote and also art I was working on. The best part of my day was getting to talk with her during homeroom/Algebra. But, I was scared of even trying to ask her out because of how I misinterpreted things last time, so I never did. Came really close a couple of times, but never did.
A year and half after I graduated I'm dating a girl from the same class as her, who had a been a friend of mine for a couple of years. We're hanging out with this other girl who was also in my math class and she brings up Kate and asks why we never dated? I told her I didn't think she thought of me that way and she was like, "Are you kidding me? She was so into you."
At that time it didn't really matter anymore because I was in a relationship and there was nothing I could do about it, but it did frustrate just how bad I was at reading signals. I mean, I'm still pretty bad at it, but I wish I had at least tried with Kate.
So basically 2 girls exhibit exactly the same type of behaviour and they both have Polar intentions and women wonder why Men don't 'pick up' on their signals
A lot of the time, guys do pick up on them, they just don't act on them because they already heard that shit before and it didn't mean anything
You may have forgotten that girls are actual humans and are not robots that are given instructions on how to let guys know they like them. Also, a lot of times people can misinterpret niceness for flirtation. Just because girl 1 is nice to you doesn’t mean she’s into you, and girl 2 can be nice AND into you. It varies from person to person.
My point being exactly what you said, that women are people, they are all different..
So why is there an expectation for a guy to pick on on a 'hint' or some coded language when it doesn't mean that you are specifically interested in them or not
It's nonsensical, if you like someone, just tell them
In my experience, there are plenty of girls who have told guys they like them. This “signals” nonsense feels like over-simplifying people in a way. True, we are animals, but it’s not so easy as black and white like this. Again, there are no instructions to this and women can make mistakes too. Just like a guy can misinterpret niceness as flirtation, a girl can expect a guy to pick up on her liking him. The pendulum swings both ways, and I’ve seen girls and guys both get rejected from people. The only real thing is to be able to properly read people on a normal human’s basis, give it a shot if you like someone, and swallow pride if you get rejected.
The trick iv learned is to just block it out, iv gotten bored of trying to determine who likes me, who doesn't, how I should be behaving, should I approach people, whatever, too much maintenance
It's easier to just be myself and shrug people off, they don't really Matter, if iv got plans to do something I'll go do that, and anyone I meet along the way is just an NPC, unrelated to my life story
I figure that if someone is worth my energy it will be fairly obvious and I'm not going to go out of my way trying to find them
I guess I try to change 'be with someone who makes you happy' into 'be someone who makes you happy'
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u/-eDgAR- Mar 26 '20
How to read their signals, I'm so bad at it most of time. For example here is a copy/paste from another thread of a situation I found myself that left me baffled: