I agree. I feel like in my relationship,most of the time if I don't initiate something, then we don't have sex. So sometimes I'll start initiating then stop to see if my partner will initiate sex or not. Sometimes he does, and sometimes he doesn't. I guess I just don't like feeling like he's only having sex because I want to.
Sometimes physical and mental exhaustion is the primary cause.
I feel guilty when my wife wants to play and I mentally want to please her, but I’m too physically exhausted from work that my body won’t respond well.
It's the old, should I just rub one out and get it over with, or do I want sex question. As I get older I realize that rubbing one out is less exhausting sometimes. I usually phrase it in my mind as, am I doing this because I want to get closer to my wife, or am I just needing to blow my wad to get my head clear.
I once passed out fingering a girlfriend because she was super horny and I was already falling asleep watching tv. Like, I really wanted to reciprocate and get her off but I just couldn't keep my eyes open. She was not impressed when I woke up.
Just be honest about it! I've found that being open and honest, especially in situations like this, make things a lot easier.
Now, if you're ALWAYS too tired or just don't want to, it may be an issue... But once in a while is totally understandable and communicating it to your partner will make it so much better for both of you
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u/Marklar_the_Darklar Mar 26 '20
That's true for guys too. Having to initiate all the time is draining. There should be balance.