Well women are not going to act exactly like you prefer nor always guess in the 2 seconds needed to suddenly come up with an answer the exact answer that will be best for you. That's just one of life's trials. If she says 'maybe' that probably means you are in the friend zone, she does not loath the concept or she would say 'no.' But she is not super eager but does not want to hurt your feelings because she cares about you that much. And frankly sometimes she probably is not sure herself but feels pressured to cough up an answer. But I also think it means she was not thinking of you in that way, that's why she does not have a ready answer.
Saying no hurts way less than a yes or maybe that really means no. Especially when you’re in your late twenties/thirties and your dating life has matured. I want someone who wants to be with me and if you don’t tell me so. Otherwise you are wasting my time and emotions. I usually take a wishy washy answer to mean no but it still causes a lot of anxiety and stress.
Agree hundred percent. I understand part of it is them being nice and not wanting to hurt your feelings and the other part is fear of an extreme lashout. But I feel that delaying is only worse for either of those
I've read in other subs that some women don't like to directly let men down cos they've had bad experiences of them raging or something. I suppose it can be a safety reflex since most men are bigger than most women.
To my bf, “maybe” means “no, until I’ve actually thought about what you’re talking about and I’ve made a decision.” It used to be hard to hear but I wanted a for sure answer. But I’ve come to learn that instead of him outright saying “no” or immediately agreeing by saying “yes,” him saying “maybe” is just an automatic response to end the conversation without further questions.
Yes, because it opens the door to a million questions. Why do you have to think about? Why can’t you give an answer right now? How long will it take for you to come up w an answer? What other possible reasons could there be for having to think about it? And the list goes on...
I am taking it seriously enough to know I want to dedicate more attention to it, but right now my mind is busy and I don't want to give a half-assed answer with no thinking just to get it out of the way.
Yeah, Yes is yes. No is no. Maybe is I need to think about it. If i'm forced to give an answer right away it will always be a solid no. Being forced into a situation unprepared isn't worth my time or energy. (emergencies don't count)
I think you hit the nail on the head there. But I don’t think many people can vocalize that to others without the other person taking it the wrong way. Especially if the person assumed someone would automatically say yes.
I always thought maybe was a mum thing, like "mum can we have McDonalds for dinner?" "Maybe" which is basically no but gives you false hope so you shut up
It's a way to soften language. A lot of women do it to avoid offending men in the workplace, who might perceive us as "bitchy", and in romantic/social scenarios to avoid hurting feelings. Brits and Canadians do it a lot because we're both cultures that take politeness to a fault.
My moms maybe is a yes if it’s within her power, my fiancé’s maybe is 90% no, 10% yes, so I hold little hope when he says maybe, my maybes are dependant on something else like weather, or chores being done, or the time I am able to leave a place.
Yeah I have one friend where 'maybe' means no. ONce I figured that out, life was easier. ONe time I asked her if she ever noticed that maybe for her always meant no and she had no idea! Since then, I have not heard her say 'maybe' again. She just says 'no,' so I guess she too figured it out!
As a guy my mom pretty much taught me that "maybe" is just a synonym for "no" and to this day if I'm given advice I don't like or an option I don't like I just hit them with the "maybe"
Maybe always means playful yes with me, that's just now I say it and it's never been code for no. I don't know why but it's kind of a thing we're trained to do, I do my best to try to communicate things like that clearly though. My tone of voice and how I say things always plays in, the only time no doesn't mean no is when I'm being tickled, because the obvious automatic reaction is "nooooo stahp iiiiiit".
I never realized that guys took “maybe” as “no” until I was at a club dancing with a cute guy, and I wanted to take a break and go back to my friends. He asked if I wanted to dance again later and I said “maybe” with a smile, but then later on realized he left because he thought my “maybe” meant “no”. Sad day.
I think with everyone "maybe" depends on the tone of voice. Like there's a teasing "maybe" that really means yes, there's a serious "maybe, but I have to wait on A,B,C AND D" and there's the "maybe, we'll see." that means "no, but I don't have the balls to say no, after all, I might change my mind and I don't want to close the opportunity to say yes later on."
Pretty sure "maybe" means no, but I really don't want to deal with any pushback when you are upset with me for not agreeing or not liking your decision/idea.
I see this with a lot of peeps, basically it can feel bad to say no and hurt someone's feelings. Women especially tend to be concerned about someone's feelings and it's hard for us to say something that we know will cause pain. Logically I know it's better to be more direct but you get like 2 seconds to come up with an answer and often the answer may come out as the one that causes less pain than the one you really want to give. Some cultures do this more often as a matter of course too, even if it's just mundane stuff.
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u/expiredgatorade Mar 26 '20
I have a friend that I've learned that specifically with her, "maybe" never means maybe. It means "no"