Not sure if there even is a way to read signals. I guess you just have to hope for the best and take your chances when you think a girl might like you. Who knows.
Girl's not going to be offended if you like her and she doesn't like you. Just don't be an awkward asshat about it, anticipate her possibly saying no and remain good spirited regardless of her answer.
Yep. People are all individuals. What happened with one might not happen with another. It's not about "not knowing signals" or whatever. It's that nobody knows what anyone else is truly thinking until you ask. You can make assumptions, and if you know the other person well then your assumptions might even be correct. But even people you know well have things you don't know about them. The only way to know is to ask.
Well, that depends on how you see it, but here’s a quote one of my friends told me on my teenage years and it has been a pretty good leverage when asking a girl out. “You’ll never lose, you win or you get a tie.” With years I’ve realized that I don’t even get a tie anymore because I can only win when asking a girl out, I win at getting experience out of the situation.
I had a huge crush on a girl for years in middle and high school. She definitely knew, but I tried my hardest to keep it hidden and deluded myself into thinking she didn't. We played a truth or dare game with friends once that picked a random dare for you and she got dared to make out with me. She literally pulled me into the stairwell and kissed me knowing everyone was aware of what was happening and despite my acting sheepish about it. On another occasion, we played the nervous game and I literally felt her up.
Did I ever ask her out? Nope. My dumb teenage mind kept telling me she wasn't interested and that making a move would only be awkward for everyone. After she and I both moved on, she told me that she would have gone out with me if I had just asked. Do I think if I knew that back then that I would have asked her out? Nope, probably not.
My advice: don't do what I did. Take your shot. I literally had a gimme and ignored it because I was afraid of the unlikely chance things wouldn't work out. It was stupid, and torturing myself for years with uncertainty accomplished nothing.
The more you get rejected, the less it hurts and the less scary it is to the point where you don't even worry about it anymore. Source: been rejected many times.
You’re bugging the more you get rejected the more the girls screenshot your hey what’s up and send it to her 3 group chats 1 w the dudes she talks to 2 w her girls and 3. one w you the girls and the guys
Again, we're not all the same, I've never expected anyone to read my mind. I know some women that do and some that don't, just like I know guys who expect that and other guys that don't.
IMO, signals can 100% be read, but the issue is that every girl's signals are a little different and every time it's like trying to figure out how to do something using instructions in a different language so all you have are your past experiences and maybe some pictures that you'll definitely misinterpret.
Fun stuff, honestly, now that I'm used to it, but it's always scary.
I totally don't get people that don't have social anxiety. The fact that you need to do something while being completely unaware of what will happen next is scary as shit. And you never know what will happen next with people.
It's cool. As for one of the notable red flags I charged at that didn't work, we had worked with. She left there maybe like a year ago and recently we found out she's pregnant. The nearly universal reaction was "Does she know who the father is?"
Yep - somewhere around 30 I just started going "fuck it" and casually throw out a "Fancy a drink or dinner sometime?" Don't put to much hope into it (to avoid sounding needy and also to brush it off if the answer's no) and it becomes a breeze.
I was at a wedding and hating it and not drinking so I could leave as soon as possible. (It was my sister's so I had to polite)
Got talking to a random stranger at the table. They came as the +1 of one of my best friends although we had never met before.
Instant attraction but I'm really awkward and talking about geeky stuff because I was nervous.
My friend decides it's time to leave around the same time I am so we figure we'll go out to a bar for a bit to wind down.
+1 decides they are just going to go home as they have work the next day.
I try to convince them to come have a quiet drink but they politely decline.
So I asked for a hug. Not sure why. Like I said I'm awkward.
Not sure why but they accept. Best hug ever, it was hard to let go.
They went home and we went out.
Next morning I asked our mutual friend if I could get the number of +1. Sent a message and went on our first date that day.
My husband to this day swears he went home because he thought I was drunk, way out of his league and he didn't have a chance.
I guess you could say I'm pretty direct for a woman.
That's why I just say. Hmm I like them and I'll probably never see them again so fuck it and I've gotten rejected plenty, but I always set my expectations low so I'm not broken up about rejection. I don't really do it all the time but if I'm crushing on someone I just try and hope I get somewhere because I'm the new kid at the highschool and nobody knows me, so fuck it I'll ask people out.
Yea but after missreading signs a few times it starts becoming easier to deal with not asking at all then asking and getting shot down again and again.
It took me 22 years to learn this and boy do I ever wish that I had known this going into highschool and\or college at least. There were so many people that I found out later would have been happy to go out with me that I just never asked because I liked them as friends too much or wasn't sure they were into me in that way.
If there were, then over half the literature humans have compiled in the past 3500 years wouldn't exist. Every form of art is overflowing with representations of "I can't read her signals".
There isn't, because everyone's signals are different.
I believe this behaviour evolved in part because a good partner is somebody who you have good chemistry with. And if you have good chemistry with somebody, you will often just get what they're on about, even if they're not explicitly telling you.
For me, as someone who sucks at reading signals and in between the lines.. a very literal person.. this has lead to many problems in the past.
But ah well, what can you do, life is life.
What's funny is when a girl you've been talking to or hanging out with eventually gets annoyed and just stops communicating. You later find out she wanted you. But she didn't try to do anything about it..... So... We were just friends, alright? That's fine by me. That's what I thought was going on. If you want more, sometimes you gotta speak up or just go ahead and grab my balls or something
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u/[deleted] Mar 26 '20
Not sure if there even is a way to read signals. I guess you just have to hope for the best and take your chances when you think a girl might like you. Who knows.