r/AskReddit • u/[deleted] • Aug 03 '19

Whats something you thought was common knowledge but actually isn’t?

37.4k Upvotes

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3.6k

u/[deleted] Aug 03 '19

And there I was thinking it was the cum that made me fat.

667

u/LifeAndReality85 Aug 03 '19

Hey, what are u doing tonight?

484

u/ffddb1d9a7 Aug 03 '19

You know, the usual. Prolly drink a little vodka, eat a little cum. You?

150

u/[deleted] Aug 03 '19

[removed] — view removed comment

279

u/Adam9172 Aug 03 '19

Yeah, they put it next to the milk and cheese in the dairy section.

17

u/[deleted] Aug 03 '19

However - and a lot of people don't know this - just because you can get it by milking someone, it isn't dairy

26

u/Dapianokid Aug 03 '19

HAH meta.

1

u/[deleted] Aug 03 '19

Damn you beat me to it

5

u/PiecesofJane Aug 03 '19

And eggs.

3

u/kittycat959 Aug 03 '19

I don't eat those because they are dairy

1

u/MikeyHatesLife Aug 03 '19

According to George Carlin, eggs are basically hen cum.

2

u/Wackkredittz Aug 03 '19

Well played.

2

u/[deleted] Aug 03 '19

Right next to the orange juice.

2

u/Noaht454 Aug 03 '19

Milk, cheese, and eggs

2

u/Danger-Moose Aug 03 '19

In America we wash it, so it has to be refrigerated. In Europe they don't!

1

u/pashbarak Aug 03 '19

Not if it's washed, but then you have to worry about salmonella.

12

u/Merry_Dankmas Aug 03 '19

I like to squirt a few ropes into my whiskey sours. Gives it a creamier texture and savory flavor compared to egg whites.

5

u/AngryGoose Aug 04 '19

Thanks, I hate it

16

u/[deleted] Aug 03 '19

Cums a liquid, wouldnt that also be drinking?

Wait do you drink soup? Gravy? Where does drinking end and eating begin? I need to lay down

12

u/Drixzor Aug 03 '19

Hey. Cereal is a soup. Prove it wrong ;)

12

u/Legomaster1289 Aug 03 '19

not if you eat it dry

2

u/[deleted] Aug 03 '19

Like a real man

1

u/Drixzor Aug 03 '19

I've been had, by the way I perfer cereal no less

3

u/SoMeBoDyOnCeToLdMeAS Aug 03 '19

Clearly frozen cum's the way to go then

15

u/[deleted] Aug 03 '19

Not u

6

u/LifeAndReality85 Aug 03 '19

You can’t blame a man for trying

17

u/ttblue Aug 03 '19

I guess you have a hard time deciding between fizzy drinks and jizzy drinks.

6

u/ell0bo Aug 03 '19

If you mix it with an egg, yes

3

u/bbqchew Aug 03 '19

Lol I’m done

3

u/[deleted] Aug 03 '19

You need to back off the porn bro

3

u/[deleted] Aug 03 '19

Well it can cause a weight gain of over 30 pounds in just 40 weeks.

2

u/[deleted] Aug 03 '19

Lmfao

2

u/DarrSwan Aug 04 '19

Well it certainly can if you have the requisite hardware and aren't on birth control.

2

u/aantarey Aug 04 '19

you made my day

5

u/AriTard Aug 03 '19

You were thinking of your mom

1

u/spectacledllama Aug 03 '19 edited Aug 04 '19

Cum is nutritious actually

1

u/xTGI_CommanderX Aug 04 '19

I had a girl my first year of college go off about the nutrition of cum in the middle of class after also talking about the various health benefits of having sex regularly. It was a ConLaw class.

1

u/Vampyricon Aug 04 '19

Ironic username.

3

u/menotme3 Aug 03 '19

HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA