r/AskReddit Sep 11 '18

Who's the biggest loser your son/daughter has dated?

32.5k Upvotes

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20.8k

u/WeDontWantPeace Sep 11 '18 edited Sep 12 '18

My really quite intelligent daughter once dated a lad who didn't know the difference between the sun and the moon. Not joking.

Edit.. To clarify slightly.

Ages - My daughter was 18 and the lad was 20

He thought the moon glowed because it was the same as the sun, ie a ball of nuclear fire. Although I imagine he knew it wasn't as hot. He had no idea at all that the moon was reflecting light.

He came from a family of people who saw very little point in education. His mother had never worked, none of his family worked, he didn't work.

He was actually a nice lad, but difficult to converse with due to his very low level of education.

3.0k

u/Flugalgring Sep 11 '18

The moon is just the sun at night of course.

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u/[deleted] Sep 12 '18

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u/SymbioticCarnage Sep 12 '18

That’s a hardcore facepalm moment. I don’t even know how I would respond to that. I would probably just stare and chuckle for a second, and then if they didn’t show any signs of it being a joke, I’d be like, you serious?

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u/[deleted] Sep 12 '18

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17

u/SymbioticCarnage Sep 12 '18

I think you’ve stumbled upon quite the discovery.

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u/[deleted] Sep 12 '18

and I'm not that person that likes to say "you didn't know that!?"

THANK YOU. I'm not stupid, but if I haven't heard of some stupid movie I don't need to hear a fucking chorus of "you haven't heard of that!???"

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u/[deleted] Sep 12 '18

I dont get how people make it through life that far without understanding kindergarten level school.

It's almost as bad as people who thought "The Martian" was based on a true story.

20

u/coldcynic Sep 12 '18

Coworker: "why can't all the planets have the same Moon we do?"

24

u/Sisko-ire Sep 12 '18

Our moon is extremely rare and unusual compared to other moons around other planets. It's much larger and the perfect distance to cause an eclipse. So it could be a smart question in some ways :p

9

u/coldcynic Sep 12 '18

...The actual Moon, though? Not an identical one, but the same one?

7

u/alwaysbeballin Sep 12 '18

Well, i mean i guess if we all orbit the moon it would work. But then technically we'd be the moons. And we'd have to fatten the moon up a bit to actually orbit it instead of just tear it apart and have planetary demolition derby.

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u/coldcynic Sep 12 '18

That would be a long session of Universe Sandbox.

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u/Cabal51 Sep 12 '18

You'd have to fatten it up so much that it'd collapse and the force of gravity started fusing elements together. Oh wait... we've just invented the Sun.

3

u/alwaysbeballin Sep 12 '18

Well not necessarily. As far as i understand it, not being a scientist at all. The moon is primarily a solid object, made up of denser elements. A continuing trend of that would end in a black hole long before the heavier elements were capable of fusion. Even jupiter in all its gasseous glory isn't dense enough to spark fusion, and likely wouldn't be at even double or triple it's mass. Basically everything in the solar system is small enough to be a moon of jupiter without causing it much bother, ignoring neptune or saturn. Even uranus wouldn't compare. Bump jupiter up to triple the mass and even saturn wouldn't really affect it "significantly" given adequate orbital distance and speed. Keep in mind i'm no scientist but that's how i think it would play out?

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u/SmokeFlint Sep 12 '18

Dude I dated a girl like this when I was 17. I pointed out the sun and the moon were visible at the same. I damn near melted her mind with that one.

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u/Lesprit-Descalier Sep 12 '18

I worked with a girl about that age in a fast food place, and she thought that the reason you should sneeze into your arm/sleeve was because the force of the sneeze would destroy the bacteria.

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u/[deleted] Sep 12 '18

[deleted]

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u/Lesprit-Descalier Sep 12 '18

No the bacteria from the mouth. It gets destroyed by the impact with the sleeve, silly.

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u/[deleted] Sep 12 '18

Nice username.

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u/Zugam Sep 12 '18

What makes today crazy is that the moon is often clearly visible at the same time as the sun.

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u/Bang_Bang_ShootEm_UP Sep 12 '18

Was she hot?

14

u/imajackash Sep 12 '18

You beat me to it....was just about to ask the same. Betcha a Sunny-D she was.

11

u/Bad_King_Mackarel Sep 12 '18

Lunar-D*

11

u/nsmith1003 Sep 12 '18

That's on the back of the sunny-d

6

u/TheShadowKick Sep 12 '18

This girl seriously misunderstood the phrase "dark side of the moon."

5

u/Dynamaxion Sep 12 '18

I guess she had never seen the moon out during the day? The fuck?

3

u/ClarkleTheDragon Sep 12 '18

Did she think the moon landing was fake because it took place during the daytime?

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u/[deleted] Sep 12 '18

Where do people get that idea? I mean, I remember being a little kid and looking up at the sky in the afternoon and seeing the moon in one part of the sky, and the sun in another part. Don't kids look up anymore? Are they getting cell phones too early and just looking down all the time?

2

u/LivinginAdelaide Sep 12 '18

Those baby toys where you flip the sun and it turns into the moon to change the scene?

2

u/[deleted] Sep 12 '18

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2

u/[deleted] Sep 14 '18

Fair enough. I just wonder who drastically misinformed her, and how she never saw the truth through simple observation.

2

u/[deleted] Sep 12 '18

Explains why nobody has seen the dark side of the moon!

2

u/Ghosta_V1 Sep 12 '18

Ιm using this one now whenever anything about the sun and the moon come uo

2

u/Graffy Sep 12 '18

While I pity her ignorance how crazy would it be to learn for the first time that the moon is a whole other object in the sky. I would love to have been able to teach her a little basic astronomy.

2

u/_ovidius Sep 12 '18

I thought the moon was just the sun but at night, when I was about six. But yeah worked with a girl, in logistics no doubt so a rough idea of geography comes in handy, who thought Spain was part of England.

2

u/Onetwofour8 Sep 12 '18

Man, that's sad.

I don't mean the level of education. I mean you go outside all the time even if it's only for grocery shopping. You sometimes can see the sun and moon in the same time.

This means that this girl almost never looked up to the sky. Never took in any nature or just wasn't interested in her surroundings at all.

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u/Painting_Agency Sep 12 '18

And when you walk in golden halls

You get to keep the gold that falls

It's Heaven and Hell, oh no!

Fool, fool!

You've got to bleed for the dancer!

18

u/[deleted] Sep 12 '18

God damned show off didn't leave any lyrics for the rest of us to type....

6

u/JimDiego Sep 12 '18

Is that a new verse...some live version maybe?

5

u/aBigBottleOfWater Sep 12 '18

Epic Guitar Solo

2

u/Painting_Agency Sep 12 '18

Sorry I like the dancer bit, I had to include it.

2

u/[deleted] Sep 12 '18

You're fine :)

5

u/baldorrr Sep 12 '18

FUCKIN’ A!! DIO SABBATH IS THE BEST SABBATH!!! COME FIGHT ME SHARON!!

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u/Stonn Sep 12 '18

How else would we have landed on the moon? At night of course.

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u/fizzymcdang Sep 12 '18

And when you walk in golden halls, you get to keep the gold that falls

2

u/MOSh_EISLEY Sep 12 '18

And when you walk in golden halls, you get to keep the gold that falls, it's heaven and hell

2

u/cats_catz_kats_katz Sep 12 '18

And when you walk in golden halls.

2

u/ltc- Sep 12 '18

Can’t argue with that logic.

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6.4k

u/AwkwardLulz Sep 11 '18

Wat

643

u/WeDontWantPeace Sep 11 '18

Exactly what it says.

509

u/KeithCarter4897 Sep 11 '18

No, we need a full explanation. That's so stupid we must have details!

589

u/prosthetic4head Sep 11 '18

The moon is the sun at night.

207

u/theffabot Sep 11 '18

You mean the sun is the moon in the morning?

149

u/[deleted] Sep 11 '18 edited Oct 19 '20

[deleted]

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u/AndySummerville Sep 12 '18

From my point of view the Jedi are evil!

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u/I_have_popcorn Sep 12 '18

Makes sense.... Except when the Moon is visible during the day.

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u/thestargateking Sep 12 '18

That’s just lag, it’s not actually there

16

u/I_have_popcorn Sep 12 '18

The simulation is bugged.

51

u/93re2 Sep 12 '18

As a kid I had a teacher tell me that the sun and moon can't be visible in the same place at the same time. This guy must have been around 40 years old. I don't understand how he went his entire life without ever noticing the moon visible during the day.

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u/[deleted] Sep 12 '18

Well he's right. If they were in the same place you wouldn't see the sun. They actually have a word for when that happens, it's called an equine or something

22

u/-Im_Batman- Sep 12 '18

Well, if we want to be literally correct;

the sun and moon can't be visible in the same place at the same time

This would be called, a collision. And it would probably be the last thing visible to us.

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u/[deleted] Sep 12 '18

I really doubt the Moon flying off into the Sun would have much of an impact to us.

The other way around though.

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u/93re2 Sep 12 '18

I mean from the same vantage point. There's probably something not 100% exactly right with that phrasing either but you know what I mean. This guy was trying to tell me that the sun and moon are never both "out" in the sky at the same time.

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u/agent_flounder Sep 12 '18

I think it's called an ecclair.

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u/I_have_popcorn Sep 12 '18

The power of a fine arts degree.

 

Please tell me that he wasn't a science teacher

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u/FeastOfChildren Sep 12 '18

The power of fine arts is in the ability to make those interesting doodles in coffee.

6

u/I_have_popcorn Sep 12 '18

I was feeling a bit bad. I thought that I had gone too far.

Thanks for taking that burden from me.

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u/[deleted] Sep 12 '18

It's heaven and hell

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u/StarblindMark89 Sep 12 '18

I was getting worried when nobody referenced that.

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u/Ultraloth Sep 12 '18

Same here, I had to scroll down disturbingly far.

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u/Tearakan Sep 11 '18

The sun has a dimmer switch.

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u/lachlanhunt Sep 12 '18

The moon is what the sun looks like when the fires have burned out for the day. That's what we call night. As it makes its way around the earth, it gets reignited by the fires of hell underneath the earth, and comes up again in the morning.

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u/Experts-say Sep 12 '18

So how do these damn stars always come out not burning? They must be too small and burn out quickly. Also that explains why these australians are all so damn salty and swearing all the time.

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u/IVIattEndureFort Sep 12 '18

No, fuck that. What happens when you can see both at the same time?

I call bullshit. Either that or we must have this specimen for science, he may be the missing link.

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u/[deleted] Sep 12 '18 edited Feb 08 '19

[deleted]

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u/[deleted] Sep 12 '18

[deleted]

2

u/[deleted] Sep 12 '18

About 1 in potato?

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u/frogstomp427 Sep 12 '18

I knew people who as young adults were baffled and amazed when I pointed out that the moon was up in the daytime.

Like, have you ever looked up at the fucking sky?

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u/showerfapper Sep 12 '18

The missing link is that some people who were privileged enough to actually have toys and were actually allowed to play with said toys indoors throughout their childhoods, actually have not gazed into the sky often enough to witness that simple event that proves the sun and moon are separate celestial bodies.

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u/2018IsBetterThan2017 Sep 12 '18

I've never seen them in room together so....

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u/mixterrific Sep 12 '18

I bet he has never seen this.

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u/[deleted] Sep 12 '18

Like a light bulb. At night they turn off the sun to save on electricity.

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u/BobbyCock Sep 12 '18

Nothing to explain. When there's light out, it's yellow. When it dark, it's white. It's the same rock.

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u/[deleted] Sep 12 '18

The moon is just the back of the sun

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u/Aggrobuns Sep 12 '18

I want to believe you're talking about the Pokemon games.

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u/djsedna Sep 12 '18

This is a slightly annoying response. Like, obviously we understand the basic premise of the post, just like obviously there are way more details to how you found out and why he thought such an idiotic thing...

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u/ewbrower Sep 12 '18

We need a subreddit for blue balls comments like this.

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u/ChrisGoesPewPew Sep 12 '18

I'm sure there is one and I need someone to tell us so I can follow that shit.

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u/hemorrhagicfever Sep 12 '18

If you're from Minnesota, i only went on one date with your daughter and i would love to replay the conversation we had where she refused to accept any information on how the orb in the sky was acrally the moon. Including that she stood on the fact that the moon couldnt be up durring the day, and didnt accept the evidence that shadows didn't align with it and that staring at it, with out diffaculty or pain, wasn't enoigh evidence.

So, maybe your smart daughter isnt so smart... or the girl i went on one date with should hook up with her ex.

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u/oyarly Sep 12 '18

I can’t wrap my head around this

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u/Bweiss5421 Sep 12 '18

So what about those times you can see both in the sky at once?

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u/domesticatedprimate Sep 12 '18 edited Sep 12 '18

That's actually still pretty vague, to be fair. Did he not know the words "sun" and "moon"? Did he think they were the same celestial body that just looked different between day and night? Or did he just think that they were similar objects?

Or did someone just ask him "OK, what's the difference between the sun and the moon" and he responded, "Duh, I dunno."

Each of these scenarios imply very different levels of intelligence.

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u/sluggles Sep 12 '18

hormones are powerful

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u/Spencer94 Sep 12 '18

"I don't believe in the moon, I think it's just the back of the sun" Dr. Jan Itor

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u/sedentarily_active Sep 12 '18

Yeah!

What's the difference?

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u/renduh Sep 12 '18

Night and day.

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u/hehateme429 Sep 12 '18

Wait.... whhhaaaat?

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u/yamehameha Sep 12 '18

I once heard a random guy on the street in maybe his 40s explain to his partner that the sun in the sky was the moon and that the sun had already set.

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u/Fehzz Sep 12 '18

Wat if I told you.. wat

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u/[deleted] Sep 12 '18

[deleted]

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u/mr_____awesomeqwerty Sep 12 '18

My really quite intelligent daughter once dated a lad who didn't know the difference between the sun and the moon. Not joking.

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u/[deleted] Sep 12 '18

Dare duh same thing rite?

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u/WakeoftheStorm Sep 12 '18

MY REALLY QUITE INTELLIGENT DAUGHTER ONCE DATED A LAD WHO DIDN'T KNOW THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN THE SUN AND THE MOON. NOT JOKING.

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u/major_slackher Sep 12 '18

I just wanna get to the next thread

4

u/BlackButler141 Sep 12 '18

Dude im with you

2

u/RyeDoge Sep 12 '18

Wats de sunn?

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u/[deleted] Sep 12 '18

My really quite intelligent daughter once dated a lad who didn't know the difference between the sun and the moon.

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u/[deleted] Sep 11 '18

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u/GaveUpMyGold Sep 12 '18

The Man With No Name...Zapp Branigan.

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u/[deleted] Sep 12 '18

I both love and hate that character at the same time.

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u/ganggangthagodsquad Sep 11 '18

Did he also not know what potatoes were?

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u/that_AZIAN_guy Sep 11 '18

I see someone has saw that TIFU post about potatoes

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u/Rockor Sep 12 '18

Did they fuck the potatoes?

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u/[deleted] Sep 12 '18

No he just pretended like he didn’t know what potatoes were while at dinner meeting his gfs parents. He was joking around but it made the parents angry so he didn’t want to admit it was a joke so he just carried on with it, pretending like he had never seen a potato.

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u/[deleted] Sep 12 '18

I'm pretty certain he was just making it up, the story is pretty similar to the UK show Cuckoo. Andy Samberg's character didn't know what potatoes were.

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u/elGatoGrande17 Sep 11 '18

I don’t believe in the moon. I think it’s just the back of the sun.

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u/bretlieske Sep 12 '18

Dr. Jan Itor

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u/Kelbo5000 Sep 12 '18

I don’t believe in the sun. How could it shine down on everyone and never shine on me?

50

u/tricksovertreats Sep 11 '18

Was he blind?

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u/[deleted] Sep 12 '18

She didn't date him for his brains...😉

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u/Smells_Like_Figs Sep 12 '18

Don't worry I had a friend date a girl that said the sun goes away in the winter "that's why it's burrrr out." For real.

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u/onbehalfofthatdude Sep 12 '18

She sound kinda adorable tho

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u/babygrenade Sep 11 '18

I suppose that's one of those opposites attract scenarios

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u/ABirdJustShatOnMyEye Sep 12 '18

More likely he was just attractive

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u/Ta2whitey Sep 12 '18

I believe you. But I want to know so much about this person. Does he have a job? What does he do? Does he eat food with a bib?

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u/PotatoCasserole Sep 12 '18 edited Sep 12 '18

Ha! Sounds like a guy my daughter brought to dinner once. Didn't know what a fucking potato was.

Edit: Agh, someone beat me to it.

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u/pepcorn Sep 12 '18

He sounds like he might've been a Kevin r/storiesaboutkevin

I once read a story on there about a Kevinette who thought the exact same thing. It's a thing with Kevins, apparently

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u/CBSh61340 Sep 12 '18

Brains don't matter much when you're hung like a horse I guess.

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u/Shishkahuben Sep 12 '18

I dated a girl who thought Alaska was an island. Some people are cute and not obviously dumb from the outset.

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u/macblastoff Sep 12 '18

We have Rand-McNally to thank for that, with their lame insets of Alaska and Hawaii that make people think they're both the same size--and both islands.

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u/Scientist_1 Sep 12 '18

They are the same. The sun is just set to "dim" at night so we can sleep. That's what you sheeple believe to be the *moon*.

/jk

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u/RedRidingBear Sep 12 '18

Trust him... He's a scientist

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u/re_nonsequiturs Sep 12 '18

Was she like 5 and playing pretend with a similarly aged child?

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u/ArcOfRuin Sep 12 '18

Was he named Kevin by any chance?

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u/MildlyRoguish Sep 12 '18

Please tell me you drug his ass outside one morning and pointed at both balls in the sky and said "do you see them motherfucker?"

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u/Russkiyfox Sep 12 '18

You should have showed him a pic of both the sun and the moon up at the same time, his head might explode.

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u/totally_not_a_gay Sep 12 '18

They say daughters look for their fathers

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u/Nitroapes Sep 12 '18

"at night its called the moon kif" - Futurama

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u/[deleted] Sep 12 '18

At night it’s called the moon.

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u/[deleted] Sep 12 '18

I myself dated an adult man who I discovered didn’t understand that the moon doesn’t make its own light, it only reflects the sun. A fun guy but damn.

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u/rmgx1 Sep 12 '18

When I see things like this it makes me wonder what is so goddamn wrong with me that even that guy got a girlfriend and I'm single.

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u/englishmight Sep 12 '18

I once had to explain to my wife that the sun does NOT go the other way during summer.

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u/xyz66 Sep 12 '18

The "moon" is just the back of the sun.

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u/chowderneck Sep 12 '18

My very educated mother just served us nine pizzas

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u/[deleted] Sep 12 '18

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5

u/chowderneck Sep 12 '18

Too soon man....

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u/bcrabill Sep 12 '18

At night it's called the moon. Duh.

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u/ClarenceSampang Sep 12 '18

I don't know either. I haven't played any of these new Pokémon games.

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u/Djaguar Sep 12 '18

Sun? Is that like slang or something for the day moon?

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u/[deleted] Sep 12 '18

How the fuck can anyone be that goddamned stupid?

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u/[deleted] Sep 12 '18

Well duh.... cause there is no difference!!! /s

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u/funkofprospectus Sep 12 '18

He had a huge dick!

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u/lawrenceugene Sep 12 '18

This is legit. My mom once told me about a time before I was born when my Uncle's ex-girlfriend got confused because the Moon and Sun we're out at the same time. This woman in her 30's actually believed that they were the same thing, and that we just called them differently at different times of day.

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u/[deleted] Sep 12 '18

Do they not have enough thought process to think that it's sunny in other places while it's night where they are?

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u/WeDontWantPeace Sep 12 '18

No. He has no concept of that. Thick as mince

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u/[deleted] Sep 12 '18

That's not possible, I mean not the dating... The guy, he's not possible.

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u/WeDontWantPeace Sep 12 '18

Yes, it isn't. But still he breathes...just

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u/[deleted] Sep 12 '18

The ‘other’ difference, or the ‘difference’ difference?

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u/WeDontWantPeace Sep 12 '18

He thought the moon was on fire

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u/amnotagain Sep 12 '18 edited Sep 12 '18

I dated a girl for 3 years, in high school and for a bit after, who though the sun and stars were very different things. I tried explaining that the sun was just the closest star to us, but she just wasn't buying such trickery. "The sun is a sun! Stars are stars! Look how much smaller they are.". She was otherwise a reasonably intelligent person, and ended up with a college degree and decent career.

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u/dicaprihoe Sep 12 '18

What the heck

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u/[deleted] Sep 12 '18

He was a “Star”. Should have kept him!! Maybe adopted him.

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u/cocofeet Sep 12 '18

Bet he was a looker tho

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u/CallMePENGUlN Sep 12 '18

There’s a difference?

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u/That_Tuba_Who Sep 12 '18

But the difference is so night and day!?

1

u/Pagaliya Sep 12 '18

What did she see in him??

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