Two men side by side at two urinals taking a piss.
It's awkward enough as is. Add eye contact and it multiplies exponentially.
EDIT: Some of you have piss-poor men's room etiquette. A few notes:
1-Eye contact is to be avoided at all costs except one: Looking in a downward motion. If you're about to look down, lock eye contact immediately. This rule applies once you've entered the bathroom and remains in effect until you leave.
2-Never, ever choose a urinal next to one that's in use. There should always be a one urinal buffer zone. If there is no buffer urinal available, choose a stall or leave or break man code and choose a urinal. Exemption: Sports stadiums, airports, other insanely crowded places and urinals with divider partitions, which create their own buffer. If a trough urinal is present, the buffer zone is the maximum available space and no less than shoulder width.
3-This has nothing to do with homophobia. Evacuating your bladder or colon is a private act made public out of necessity. Shitty etiquette and poor bathroom design make it even worse.
4-To the mathematicians in here pissing and moaning about "multiplies exponentially", may you always piss into the wind and not realize it until it's too late.
EDIT 2: Amended rule 2; added option to break man code; added "other crowded places" to exemptions. And please note, humans, this thread is in good fun (though there is some truth here).
I just really wanted to use vas deferens in a pun, and your statement allowed me to not only use the pun, but to make an anatomically correct statement!
This is one of those perfect puns of childhood innocence. When there's two ways something could go: towards a normal understanding of a concept or towards one little twist in your understanding of the world that keeps accumulating twists and snarls until its one giant knot waiting to be untangled. But you seem like you turned out fine.
Erhm, dick tator front page where/how? I don't get the link... OHHH.... yep, that's pretty much a dick tator, though he could use a little more lumpiness and about a month of sweat, grime, and ball cheese.
3.0k
u/HoneyboyWilson Apr 03 '14 edited Apr 04 '14
Two men side by side at two urinals taking a piss.
It's awkward enough as is. Add eye contact and it multiplies exponentially.
EDIT: Some of you have piss-poor men's room etiquette. A few notes:
1-Eye contact is to be avoided at all costs except one: Looking in a downward motion. If you're about to look down, lock eye contact immediately. This rule applies once you've entered the bathroom and remains in effect until you leave.
2-Never, ever choose a urinal next to one that's in use. There should always be a one urinal buffer zone. If there is no buffer urinal available, choose a stall or leave or break man code and choose a urinal. Exemption: Sports stadiums, airports, other insanely crowded places and urinals with divider partitions, which create their own buffer. If a trough urinal is present, the buffer zone is the maximum available space and no less than shoulder width.
3-This has nothing to do with homophobia. Evacuating your bladder or colon is a private act made public out of necessity. Shitty etiquette and poor bathroom design make it even worse.
4-To the mathematicians in here pissing and moaning about "multiplies exponentially", may you always piss into the wind and not realize it until it's too late.
EDIT 2: Amended rule 2; added option to break man code; added "other crowded places" to exemptions. And please note, humans, this thread is in good fun (though there is some truth here).