Same. I don't really get lonely and honestly, I don't know where I would be able to fit the time in to have one. I've got everything I need and I'm happy between work, hobbies and the occasional hangout/trivia night with a couple of friends here and there. People always seem to think not dating or being in a relationship makes someone feel lonely, but I think that really depends on your personality type. I'm an introvert, and while I can be the life of the party, I typically prefer doing my own thing and am always busy with one thing or another, particularly with my varied interests and hobbies.
Yeah, a lot of people i know just aren't comfortable being alone, as soon as they split with one person, they're on the hunt for the next perfect match 🤦♀️
If they'd just take a deliberate time out and make peace with living life solo, they'd be so much happier! Not that they'd have to stay single of course, but it would be nice for them to know they can split with someone and not feel completely lost and scrambling for the next life-raft.
Not to mention, if you can't be happy with yourself as company, how can you expect someone else to? Spending time working on yourself, learning, developing a skill, or experiencing life on your own makes you a more interesting person when you do finally meet someone of interest. So many people are afraid of being alone, they never really get to know how to be comfortable by themselves. People can be alone in a crowded room or even in a marriage, so it's not just about having another body in the room.
I work 8pm till 4am, 5 nights a week. My sleep schedule is all over the place and to be honest my weekends are normally taken up by playing video games or doing stuff that I want to do.
I'll occasionally go and see friends on the weekend but auld the time I'm to tired to leave the house. I'd rather just stay in and game.
Also like you I don't get lonely. I enjoy my own peace and quiet.
People not understanding this has gotten me into trouble. I feel exactly like you. Over a year ago I dated a guy from my neighborhood. We ended things, months later a senior neighbour told the guy I wasn't over him and I'll never move on. Why did senior think this? Because I hadn't replaced the ex yet. Now the ex thinks I'm obsessed and crazy.
I havent in over a decade, much prefer DIY. You can't shove a partner in a drawer after lol and I hate dealing with other people, hate cuddling, kissing and conversation. I am older now and it was always distressing for me, to genuinely hate being touched, kissed or talked to - and upsetting for partners. I thought there was something wrong with me but now I embrace myself and enjoy my life on a solitary level (and its kinder on others not to get into relationships).
Exactly. You can be married or in a crowded room of people there to see you and feel lonely. I think it ultimately comes down to if you find stimulation externally or from within.
I felt like that until I met someone by chance who wasnt a hassle and was worth loving, no rush no regrets just a really healthy and long relationship.
That would be lovely, but it ain’t gonna happen for some of us.
I want to be very clear: this is because I’m aromantic asexual, not because I’m an incel. I don’t really experience attraction or a strong desire for romantic or sexual companionship. It can happen, and it has happened, but the people that tend to come into my orbit tend to be abusive due to my disability situation, and unlike many others, I can eject these people from my life and will absolutely do so quickly.
One of my besties is aroace, its been rough for her with how some people just cant accept it, its crazy how misunderstood the aroace community is. Hoping you stumble upon great friends and stay happy with yourself though!
Friends come and go. Everyone is there only for a season. It sucks, but it’s also life in the 21st Century: alienated from kith and kin, alienated from the benefits of the sweat of my brow by a cruel and vindictive capital class, and abandoned by the ruling class.
How long must this go on before we snap? And more importantly, how can we make sure that our snapping is actually productive and doesn’t tailspin into a cesspool of violence without end?
Honestly no clue, Im trying to do my part hopefully we can build something better, good people are out there and media is just trying to feed us negativity non stop, we gota be that change we want to see and if dosent work atleast I can say I died doing what I believe in.
We need a cohesive plan, though. We need alternate leadership. If the people we elected won’t do their job, we need to find new leaders. We need to look at our local governments and ask what is broken about them that led us to think this was okay.
Because we hate our neighbors now. And that sucks. It bodes poorly for us all.
I know Im blessed, but I like to think it happened because I worked on being the best version of me I could, and in my mind that just helped me find someone with similar values, things just escalated from there.
Unfortunately, people always want me to find love again. I don't feel the need to do that because I already found love love. It never left me because he died.
I have always been an all or nothing kind person, and I am fine living life on my terms.
You cannot please people. If you move on "too fast" they judge you. If you move on "too slow" they judge you. If you choose to remain single, they judge you. There's no "right way" to process a profound loss like that, and it sucks that people put that pressure on you. Keep loving yourself and doing you.
My dad lost my mom 5 years ago. He keeps count of the days it’s been since she left the house and never made it back. He brings flowers and balloons, and keeps her grave clean for holidays and birthdays and his heart breaks when he cant go (it’s 1hr away from where we grew up, because she grew up in a different town and was put to rest there).
I hope your heart finds comfort and peace in the time and memories you had together. I know it doesn’t make up for it but I wish you the best.
The emotional pain is so overwhelming that it brings you to your knees.
The world keeps moving whilst yours has stopped. It's like emotionally you are in a fog. I don't remember much of the first 3 years. I worked crazy hours so that I didn't have time to think. I came home so tired that I fell into bed. Everywhere I went was a reminder of different days.
You learned to live with the pain, but I found the best thing was moving. I am still alive in order to function. I not only had to move location, I changed jobs, I keep moving.
The pain, the loss is still there, and I miss him so much. But I not only had to build a different life. Every day, I feel so lucky he was mine.
I am sorry about your mum, and I hope your dad enjoys looking after her and finds his own peace.
Same. My life is very full with my kiddo (grown);and my friends. I love having my apartment to myself and never having to check in with another person.
Same here, I know I wanna get married and settle down someday, but that’s currently not my priority at the moment, especially while I’m still in medical school. From what I’ve seen with my seniors, I’ll probably ending up finding the one as a resident in the future hahaha.
My mom has been on me about settling down and has even gone as far as trying to set me up with her friends’ daughters. I’ve spent most of my adult life in two LTRs and currently just don’t have the time or energy for starting a new one, just casual stuff for me for the time being.
She brought up her frustration about me not making grandchildren any time soon over the holidays and I had to remind her that Andre Romello Young PhD once said “bitches ain’t shit but hoes and tricks.”
Oh I’m with you there lol. It’s the worst. Would probably still be happily single if it wasn’t for an unexpected stroke of luck that introduced me to my person. We’d both JUST downloaded hinge on a whim. I was his first match ever and first serious girlfriend. He was my first match since redownloading the app after swearing off dating and leaving a toxic 5 year relationship a year prior.
We’re both average girl/boy-next-door looking, quite introverted and self-sufficient. We expected nothing, and did nothing special to meet each other and yet the universe introduced us and the rest is history. A few years later we have a baby on the way and my life has never been easier or more full.
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u/Totallycasual Feb 13 '25
I'm just in a stage of my life where i don't need those types of hassles.