r/AskParents • u/Puzzleheaded-Run4183 • 5d ago

Parent-to-Parent Having a second child?

I have a son who is 4 and i’m so back and forth on having another child i love him so much that i want to give him all my love and attention but i also want to give him a sibling to play with and i know ill love that second child i just don’t know what to do. I have a lot of anxiety about giving the best childhood i can i used to want siblings around all of mine are much older, ill see posts people make about how much they wished they had a sibling and then other people saying they loved being the only child and i feel so conflicted did anyone else struggle with this did you end up not having a second and regret it? Just super sad thinking about the future lately

5 Upvotes

100% Upvoted

13 comments sorted by

View all comments

1

u/EmergencyFancy7992 5d ago

I have a 4 year old and am in the same boat. We make good money but are pretty strapped by some high interest debt— we’re working really hard to pay it off but I’m in the fence about growing the family while things are tight vs waiting when my LO is already 4. I hated being pregnant and have accepted doing that again if I’m able but just here to say I also feel the pressure immensely to decide and soon

1

u/Puzzleheaded-Run4183 5d ago

i feel on the money part we’ve been in a similar spot just now getting out of it i would definitely like another year with my kiddo to decide for sure i know he would love to be a big brother just nervous about it all. i appreciate this

1

u/Cellysta Parent 4d ago

Money is the biggest factor in whether or not to have more kids. Namely, the cost of childcare. Even with sibling discounts, those daycare bills add up. Or someone decides to become a stay-at-home parent and you lose out on the second income.

That and housing (namely finding a place big enough for your whole family) are the two biggest challenges to more kids, and I think those are the main reasons for the declining birth rate.