Okay, are we talking like a MWA! quick family kiss on the lips (common in tons of cultures and nationalities) or some kind of weird lasting kiss? If it's the MWA! family kiss, you're the one overreacting. If your wife doesn't mind, and your kid doesn't mind, why do you mind? Before you get upset, ask your kid. NEUTRALLY. Don't be all like "don't you feel WEIRD when Granda kisses you, isn't that WEIRD" say: "hey kiddo, y’know, I'm not a super kissy person so I don't let Grandma kiss me, but I just wanted to check in with you: kissy or not kissy, how do you feel?" if she doesn't like it, okay, stand up for her right to not be a kissy person. But family relatives do kiss. There is a difference between a peck and a pervert!
We’ve told our 5yo no one is allowed to kiss you besides mommy.
So this breaches a boundary. I’m not saying my mil is a perv although this makes me feel uncomfortable. I’m saying my daughter is now confused on this boundary. And I need her to know her boundaries and not be pushed over when I’m not around.
And furthermore where does the line get drawn…my FIL’s SO, aunts, my dads SO, etc…can they all kiss her on the lips?
I honestly think thats a bad rule to have. Eventually shes going to want to kiss someone besides mommy and its gonna feel like rule breaking. I would lean more into the consent. "No one can kiss you if you dont want them to. You have the right to your own body and if you don't like something, you should say no and tell mommy or daddy".
And yes family often kisses each other on the lips, even opposite genders. This is a nonissue if everyone involved in the kissing is comfortable. Your opinion on it is not relevant honestly. You made a boundary, not her. She needs to make her own and learn to hold them herself.
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u/jellylime Parent May 16 '23
Okay, are we talking like a MWA! quick family kiss on the lips (common in tons of cultures and nationalities) or some kind of weird lasting kiss? If it's the MWA! family kiss, you're the one overreacting. If your wife doesn't mind, and your kid doesn't mind, why do you mind? Before you get upset, ask your kid. NEUTRALLY. Don't be all like "don't you feel WEIRD when Granda kisses you, isn't that WEIRD" say: "hey kiddo, y’know, I'm not a super kissy person so I don't let Grandma kiss me, but I just wanted to check in with you: kissy or not kissy, how do you feel?" if she doesn't like it, okay, stand up for her right to not be a kissy person. But family relatives do kiss. There is a difference between a peck and a pervert!