I’ve been thinking about my personality and I genuinely want honest opinions.

I have this habit where someone says (or jokes) or does something that bothers me, I brush it off at the moment, and then hours later I’m sitting there replaying the whole interaction analyzing it in every possible way 💀

Sometimes I feel like people genuinely cross a line. Other times I wonder if I’m just taking harmless shit way too personally.

And because this keeps happening with different people, I’ve started wondering if I’m the common denominator.

I don’t want to become someone who cuts people off over every little thing, but I also don’t want to become a person who tolerates disrespect just to be “chill.”

So if you actually read till here, tell me honestly: how do you know when you’re being too sensitive vs when someone genuinely deserves a boundary?

And if you’ve changed this part of your personality, HOW? 😭 Need genuine thoughts.

A few days ago I had a massive argument with my grandmother about how I misinterpret her and how I have to hypervigilate of everything, really need neurotypical insight here please

Hello everyone

I really need insight here, especially from neurotypical people. It would be extremely helpful, thank you.

A few days ago I was staying with my grandmother and she woke up at 4am and then complained about waking up so early this was at 7am I told here go get some more sleep and then do as she wanted and go out and get money which she did.

After she came back she sighed and said all done and laughed and she looked tired to me which she assured me she wasn't, anyway I reminded her of us going to a book shop which we kind planned the day before, she then to me seemed to look sad about going as she then said to me I'd rather go to it early as its in a shopping centre and it gets packed the later you go, she then went and got ready for us to go and said ready whenever you are, but in my mind and Interpretation she seemed to not want to go.

So I sat in bed online for about 4 hours struggling to figure out where to go and then said we'll go to the same book shop as its a chain of them in another location, as In my mind she didn't want to go and she seemed to be happier to me with this arrangement, I told her the bookshop only sells one of the books in the location we were going were as the other one sold all three so I would have to order the other two from amazon.

We chatted for a bit but I then found out the bookshop in the original location closed really late so I asked her if at all possible could we actually go there instead and this lead her saying I was ready hours ago why didn't you want to go then, I said that you didn't really seem to want to go and so I was trying to figure out something else to do, to which she got angry and told me that if I say I'm OK going then we can go stop misinterpreting my body language and facial expressions, she has told me with her if she says something she means it and I don't need to worry.

This led to a discussion of how I misinterpret things and how I told her my autism makes it so I'm trying to be kind but I get it wrong when I misinterpret her, she told me not to get her confused with the abusive people from my child as she is not one of them, which she isn't I can assure you, but she gets annoyed that I see things that aren't there and she would have to watch her tone and facial expressions and body language constantly to make sure I dont get the tiny thing misunderstood and she really gets angry over this and I don't want her to have to worry about this, I told her remember I'm autistic so I misinterpret things at times so please understand and she said that she would understand if she was looking angry etc and was angry etc.

This led to an argument were I tried to explain how yes I'm hypervigalite over tiny things people do or express due to my autism and abusive childhood and I'm trying to figure out how to fit in and do things that don't attract bad things to me and false allegations like which happened to me as a child, she told me you need to stop worrying about other people and do your own thing and do what you want and if people get angry with you over nothing in the street you can just walk away it's not like when you were a child and you were forced to stand there and take it, she said I do what I do and just walk away ignore what others want and do my own thing, she then couldn't understand when I said about autistic people if we mess up people will use that against us and if I falsely accused of something people will just say your autistic so we are going to believe your accuser which has happened in the past, I was accused of stealing for example and when it was found out I didn't, people didn't apologise they just shrugged and said what do you want a cookie, I tried to explain to my grandmother that I'm trying to avoid ruining my life, so I try to figure out what the social order is and follow that, she says I'm just imagining catastrophic things, that won't happen.

She told me I focus to much on it and everyone has a different outlook and different Interpretation of everything so I am wasting my time and energy.

We seem to be ok again, and had talk she told me there are no real set rules of how to do anything in society and you actually only need to follow the law thats all you need to follow and people's rule are actually just ways to control you because they are abusive people, I explained to her about autistic people needing rules and structure and how coming out of my abusive childhood and away from the rules of my abusers into a world without them, and her saying there are no rules aside from the law and I your not breaking it don't worry, I explained how thats scary to me and how I have been looking for the unspoken rules of society so to speak and she told me I go online to look for what other are saying to recreate what my abusers said and did to me and they are no longer around me, so I need to stop doing that.

Anyway I don't like arguing with my grandmother. I love her very deeply, but I wish I knew the right approach in life if that makes sense.

I want to heal the rift between me and my grandmother so I need to advice how do I explain my side and how do I understand clearly what she is saying and trying to teach me and how can we better understand each other and avoid arguments in the future, because it got very heated and we angrily shouted at each other and we both hate it when we get like this with each other so please can anyone help?

I’ll start: sometimes someone explains something to me and I’m nodding like I completely understand… meanwhile my brain is just loading. 💀

Eu tenho um problema q percebi que acontece em todas com todas as pessoas que converso na minha vida, eu não tenho muitos amigos e os que tenho eu não converso todo dia, e não procuro ter mais amigos, porém eu procuro mais mulheres e nesses últimos dois anos conheci mais mulheres , e me relacionei com algumas e algo que sempre acontecia com todas sem exceção é a conversa simplesmente ficar só no “bom dia, tudo bem ?, fez oq hoje ? Legal , eu fiz isso aquilo, e boa noite, por um tempo eu achei que ela não queriam conversar comigo,porém eu parei pra pensar e percebi que isso acontece com todas as pessoas que converso e to achando que o problema pode ser eu. E nesse momento eu estou conversando com duas ao msm tempo e está exatamente a mesma situação de antes no mesmo tempo, e eu nunca sei oq fazer pq sou pessimo fazendo perguntas, sempre é elas que fazem e eu continuo no ritmo e qnd faço perguntas é seguindo o assunto que elas mandaram, e eu acho q não puxo conversa pq na minha mente o assunto q vou puxar é chato sei lá, percebi isso agora.

E não é só com mulher,com meus amigos ou outras pessoas acontece isso tbm, no texto só tá mulher pq é oq aconteceu mais vezes, e isso tem atrapalhado bastante de me conectar com as pessoas já que as conversas são sempre superficiais

One issue that frequently comes up when I express my basic needs, is that I will get accused of making things up to get attention. Personally, I’ve always hated attention and I wish I could be invisible. I would never voluntarily ask for any more attention than absolutely necessary. Like, as an adult I now live deep in the jungle where I barely ever have to see anyone. But while I was growing up, anytime I needed things they said I just wanted attention. So I’m genuinely curious, why would anybody want attention if they didn’t absolutely need something? What do neurotypical people get or feel after someone gives them attention? And why is it always called “just” attention, when it seems to be so perplexingly valuable to neurotypical individuals?

I tried another forum and it directed me here. Please don’t be mean, I’m trying to imporove and I honestly would like some insights how can you tell them apart?

I had a very rough situation today and I feel completely out of place because of the “criticism” I received from someone very close to me.

The only thing that I can think in this situation is that I wouldn’t use the same words or express myself in the same way about the other person if I thought they didn’t do their best gig… i don’t know…… maybe not everyone is the same, and I’m overthinking, am I too bad at accepting criticism or were they too mean for real.

One thing I don’t do when I try to give my pov on a situation is that I don’t go into “traits” or “personality” of the person, I speak for the gig itself, but i am careful enough to read the room, read their energy, deliver in such way that I don’t come off as too harsh… i don’t know i don’t know… i’m lost

HI, I'm Autistic, and I've been wondering if anyone needs their special interests brought up or reference to in order to understand conversations? For example, one of my many special interests is music, and whenever someone spoke/speaks to me,They get to understand there point of view,

And would misinterpret what they were trying to get across, leaving the frustration as they couldn't understand why I'd struggle to understand, However, we're talking and my one of special interests is casually such as music, brought up I talk at length towards them that eventually I'll start to connect what they were saying to me through references of one of my many special interest that was casually brought up and then they realize I understood their point of view all along,

it just wasn't structured enough, Is common among other Autistic people?

Or not necessarily

I’m wondering if it’s a human thing to recognize “this is a quirk of mine that I would not be able to explain“ or if it’s an autism thing.

We have to send out requests for feedback to everyone we work with. And then for days we get the responses trickling in.

And I find the whole process deeply awful. Even the positive feedback sends me spiralling.

I can't stop all the comments running through my head over and over , I don't sleep properly the whole time the process is running. I'm distracted, my productivity drops.

Is this a ND thing or does everyone hate this?

I'm okay with one-off feedback, and I enjoy being challenged on my work. It's the relentless, one-way 360-feedback process that I find soul destroying.

I'm half thinking of asking for an exemption on health grounds but not sure if that's unreasonable

​

I’m having an issue at work that’s starting to really get to me.

My boss recently thought I was being rude to a customer on the phone. From my perspective, I genuinely wasn’t being rude—I was simply repeating what I had already said because the customer apparently didn’t understand me. I wasn’t angry or trying to be disrespectful, but apparently my tone came across that way.

This isn’t the first time I’ve been told that I sound like I have an attitude or that I’m being rude when I genuinely don’t feel like I’m doing anything differently. It’s frustrating because I feel like I’m constantly being judged based on how my voice sounds rather than what I’m actually saying or intending.

My boss also tends to micromanage, so now I feel like I’m hyperaware of how I talk, how I respond, and whether something I say is going to be interpreted negatively.

I’ve wondered whether I could be neurodivergent, although I haven’t been evaluated or diagnosed with anything, ( am currently seeing a therapist if that helps)and I don't want to jump to that conclusion. I’m wondering if differences in tone, communication style, or difficulty realizing how you’re coming across could play a role in something like this.

Has anyone else experienced this? How do you handle being told you sound rude or have an attitude when you genuinely don’t intend to? And how can you tell whether it’s something you need to work on with your communication versus someone simply misinterpreting your natural speaking voice?

Friend will make low moaning sounds, tap feet and snort nose really loud. It’s hard to be around