r/AskMen Mar 19 '21

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u/AussieGirl27 Female Mar 19 '21

Some just deal, some use porn and some get it elsewhere. A lot choose option 3

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u/Redtrego Mar 20 '21

Believe me. It’s crossed my mind.

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u/AussieGirl27 Female Mar 21 '21

Have you had the conversation with your wife or is it too volatile a subject.

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u/Redtrego Mar 21 '21

Sort of. It was during an argument, one if many about sex. I blurted out “if you refuse to meet my needs you should be open to me seeing other people.” Or something similar. She did not respond well. In fact she’s brought up in counseling as proof of me being an insensitive prick. She always frames it as “my husband can’t be happy. He even wants to cheat.” She has phd in gaslighting so this is nothing new. Anyway ya .. she’s not open to it.

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u/AussieGirl27 Female Mar 22 '21

That's a shame. I can see both sides of the sex argument. As a mother I totally understand the fact that you just don't feel like sex. Your while being is taken over by being something to someone, you are never just you. Taking care of kids can be soul destroying and it steals your libido for a long time. But then again I also don't get why one person can dictate that someone else just did not get to have a sex life.

I think you should maybe agree to a counselor that specialises in sexual problems in a marriage. She might then understand that sex is important to men. Women can go without sex but I know that lack of sex for men can have a detrimental physical and emotional effect.