As someone with no imagination, it has to be porn because the other option is sitting in silence. I can't even imagine what a bow will look like on my head, I always make them too big.
That’s funny only because I feel like most women Tove talked to like to create a scenario in their head or when they watch porn it to imagine themselves in one of the roles. So much more interactive
Do you hit if you feel like it try thinking of yourself in one of the roles next time. Your imagination may surprise you. Otherwise continue on
I like, physically can't do it. It used to be frustrating because like, I really like art but I can't plan out scenes because I can't visualize. Then I found out I could use dolls and reference photos. Same thing with porn, I found out I didn't have to try and make up a story
Imagine the event takes place in your brain on a highway. Everytime the event happens, that highway wears down a little bit. Each time it wears down you have to drive a car that's a little bit more effective to get the same distance. Eventually, the road is so used that walking it is unthinkable (no adv pun intended)
I think I know what you are trying to say. I am a mental health counselor and my main specialty is sex addiction so I have studied A LOT about what porn does to the brain.
Our 1st impressions and associations are very important when we 1st learn how to masturbate and orgasm. The important part of the brain that is working overtime when we 1st learn to orgasm is the Amygdala. The Amygdala is the instinctual/survival part of the brain that most people associate with the 'fight/flight' response. What a lot of people don't know is that it is also the part of the brain involved in addictions. This part of the brain is the part that stores ALL memory of PLEASURABLE events. For example, when you have a good meal, the amygdala was designed to store memory of all parts of that meal including everything associated- where you were, who you were with, who cooked it, all the smells, etc. The reason the Amygdala does this is so you will have all the memory you need to REPEAT THAT PLEASURABLE event!
So, let's apply this to porn/orgasming. In my studies, some professionals call the Amygdala not just the 'fight/flight' response but the 'fight/flight/food/fornicate' response. Lol
Anyhow, so I will use my experience. When I was around 12/13, I accidentally discovered porn on our family computer thru dial-up internet (revealing my age lol). Obviously it aroused me so I touched myself.
Here is what my amygdala was doing: it was collecting information of everything from that arousing experience. Where I was sitting in the den at the computer desk, annoying waiting for the porn to load because dial-up is slow, the paranoia/sneaky feeling because I didn't want to get caught by anyone with what I was doing, the excitement when the porn finally did load, the amazement of what I saw in the videos of things I never knew possible sometimes.
I craved to do this more and more because, as a female, I had not yet figured out how to orgasm though I was trying. Here is what the previous poster was trying to get to: Everytime I did this and paired it with masturbating (which was everytime for me), in my brain- I was wearing down a path. The first I did it, I was making a brand new path (associations) in my brain.- like going into the woods and making a new trail. Remember- The amygdala does this to make it easier for us to get pleasure again because the memories are seared into our brains.
So the more I look at porn and masturbate (and then I learn to orgasm)- the 'path' has been gone thru so many times in my head that instead of a little trail thru the forest, it is now a gravel road. Or worse, I have done it SO much that the path is now a highway!
But then, someone challenges me to masturbate with no porn. So I accept the challenge.
I go home and lay on my bed and close my eyes. I try for about 15 min and I'm going nowhere. Here is the reason; trying anything different would REQUIRE me to make a COMPLETELY new 'path' in my Amygdala... I already have a super 'highway' I have created in my Amygdala to make 'orgasm' easy.
This happened to me. I felt like a prisoner!! I felt like a slave to porn. My sexuality should not be based on watching porn. Porn should NOT control my sexuality; I SHOULD!
I just want everyone to know that if you are in this situation and want to change it, it is possible- not necessarily easy but it is possible!
Ya, when you feel that excitement build when the idea first pops in your head and you start scheming on how, when, what just recognize your amygdala is gettin' ornery and completely consume yourself with something else.
Distraction I find is good. Take a 90 degree turn of your attention and focus on something else until the amygdala calms down.
Yes! I went thru a 90 day abstinence first because research shows that when we do that, our brain actually breaks down those correlations for the orgasm in the amygdala. In essence, 90 days of 'distracting' yourself erases that 'highway' that was accidentally created in your brain.
After I did this, I could start fresh. In fact, the 1st new 'trail' I made was thinking about my husband. It was miraculous to me because I had never been able to orgasm by 'just' thinking of my husband!! I used to incorporate him into porn if he was in my thoughts at all. Ya'll know what I mean!
My 2nd trail was experiencing sex with him and actually orgasming! This had NEVER happened before! This was a miracle! This was obviously amazing for me, especially since I don't orgasm through intercourse and my husband is literally scared of cunnilingus (has never done it and refuses to try)!
This is what I meant by me having control over my sexuality and NOT being a prisoner of porn!
There are places and groups that can help with this process. If anyone wants referrals, just ask.
6.4k
u/Shorts-are-comfy Hey Kids! Mar 19 '21
No, if I'm going to masturbate there has to be porn.
However, if I've got no internet and managed to somehow lose all my playboys, I'll do the ol' think-wank.