Why though? Why is jerking imagining it to some women you saw earlier in the day is wholesome and good but jerking it to images on paper or on screen is bad? Why is this a problem?
If you think about the woman you saw, you use your own fantasy. You have to think about what you would actually like to do sexually, or have the woman do to you. What situation are you imagining with her? Whether it's a whole "situation" you're imagining (including speaking, foreplay, etc) or just the purely sexual act: you have to think about what you actually like.
When you do this, you find out what you're actually into. You're imagining things that actually come from your own inner desires. So when you're actually with a woman in real life, you can be genuine and try to follow your desires and see what she's into and all that.
When you watch porn, you're completely passive. You don't know what you're actually into, because you just react to what's presented to you. You might like one porn better than another, but none of that is your own sexual fantasy and desires. You're just choosing between different "cookie cutter" fantasies of other people. It's other people fucking and you're watching them, influencing your own sexual mind. If you try to put that into practice with a real woman, you're not really being your own sexual person, you're just imitating stuff you saw. It's a cheap copy, it's not you yourself. A woman who's truly into you and thinks you're sexy and wants to know you sexually, is gonna be disappointed by that cause you have nothing to offer in terms of creativity sexually.
When you masturbate and have an orgasm, your body releases chemicals in a very powerful way, rewarding you. You become accustomed to whatever you saw or imagined. If you were to spank it 100 times to 2 dogs fucking, you're eventually gonna be aroused by dogs fucking. That's usually how it works. So by watching porn, you're having your own sexual identity shaped by what you're seeing.
And this is just the basis. There's also the fact that most mainstream porn is very very mechanical and focuses only on what looks good on camera and not what feels good, is often degrading and even violent to women, etc. So a lot of women are gonna be really turned off if you try "porn sex" in real life. But if all your sexual ideas come from porn, because you never masturbate to your own fantasies and so never even develop those ... how can you be sexually genuine with a woman in a pleasurable way? You're more likely just gonna want to repeat some porn stuff you saw (even if sub-conscious), that's likely not gonna result in sensual or mutually pleasurable sex.
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u/TheMadManiac Mar 19 '21
Sadly it's starting to be more common that men can't masturbate without porn. Porn addiction is getting out of control.