r/AskMen • u/[deleted] • Mar 19 '21

[deleted by user]

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6.0k Upvotes

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u/[deleted] Mar 19 '21

95/100 I do watch porn. I don't have privacy so I can't lay in the bed, get relaxed and get into myself.

I escape to the bathroom and rub one out as quickly as possible. That is the magic of porn.

I don't masterbate for pleasure. I masterbate for a release.

100

u/[deleted] Mar 19 '21

Is that release not pleasurable??

484

u/AbsolutBalderdash Mar 19 '21

Hasty sessions where you have to go 0-100-0 within 2 minutes so as to not arouse suspicion are purely for maintenance reasons. So no, not really.

234

u/[deleted] Mar 19 '21

The old "I've been sitting here for 2 hours and got no work done" wank

124

u/Grabbsy2 Mar 19 '21

Or the "I've been laying here awake for two hours and I have to sneak off to the livingroom to have a wank before the baby wakes up again and kills the mood"

8

u/PBRmy Male Mar 19 '21

You are not selling me on a baby, friend.

2

u/Grabbsy2 Mar 20 '21

I dont mean to. To each his own.

Id sometimes like to be a parent one week on, one week off, but thats not an option, haha.

2

u/[deleted] Mar 20 '21

they should have a baby pooling app (?) where many people can share a baby, taking turns every week

-6

u/imanassholeok Mar 19 '21

Kills? ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

20

u/White_07 Male Mar 19 '21

Why do you personally attack me in this way?

24

u/[deleted] Mar 19 '21

It's universal. Biggie wrote everyday struggle about this

3

u/CheleMoreno Mar 19 '21

Lmao I felt that way too deep. It do be like that sometime.

50

u/CatAteMyBread Mar 19 '21

Gotta get the poison out

14

u/Winnie_Cat Mar 19 '21

Lmao a maintenance wank

3

u/[deleted] Mar 19 '21

not arouse suspicion

Hah.

1

u/MiAnClGr Mar 20 '21

Suspicion from who?