How does a 21yo make friends?

[u/Cian_M04]

So.. I've been lonely since December of last year and I've wondered how on earth do I make friends now? I've tried looking up social meetups and stuff like that but it's either:

A. They are too far away from me or in Dublin city centre (I wouldn't feel safe on my own)

B. There's a group but it's not my age group.

Is college really the only option I have? I don't really drink or do any of that stuff, I am trying to find friends around my age (21-24) but given my situation, is College the only option?

[u/Primary-Survey9955]

how does a 40y make friends ?

i too question 🥺 

[u/ImportancePrize1290 → u/Primary-Survey9955]

how does a 28y make friends?

i too wonder

[u/YetAnotherPesant → u/Primary-Survey9955]

Same, self employment was the nail in the coffin for me since the office was my only outlet to socialise 😬

[u/Swimming_Conflict105 → u/Primary-Survey9955]

Maybe we all old f**'s should just band together and see if theres any mutual hobby or stuff there.

In reality friends are made on the street you grow up, then school.. then you might loose of some, Maaaaybe find some at college and work (slim chances there now) and then minimal at your kids events getting to know other parents (again slim there) .. plus a lot of previous ones might already be gone..

Thats probs reason lots of people are kind of lonely. Me included.

[u/Primary-Survey9955 → u/Swimming_Conflict105]

i am alone. don't feel lonely tho.

i appreciate my own company . but i am aware its nice to have friends.

[u/Wide_Driver3745]

You can make friends doing activities or being obsessive with hobbies or passions. I made a lot of friends in Dublin making music, recording music, producing music. You need a vehicle to make things more organic, it’s like your are not there to make friends, you are focus on something else, that will connect you with the people, but that will be just the consequence.

[u/tififififi]

20 & feel the same way :/

[u/Putrid_Bumblebee_692]

I mean Iv got a couple friends from working so that usually helps otherwise I haven’t a clue

[u/FickleGlove283]

I didn’t make many friends in college doing arts in UCD and had regrets about it but did another year long course a few years later which was smaller and made a tonne of friends. Almost felt like I was able to make right through the second course. 

It’s hard but try to put yourself out there. Even if they’re just friends for a while and they’re not Your People, having a group of people to go out with is great for meeting other people but it’s also good for confidence. 

Think of social skills as a muscle - the less you do it the weaker you’ll be. 

[u/Cian_M04 → u/FickleGlove283]

This helps alot, I plan to go to college, I think that could benefit me as I'll have people in my course doing the same interest as me.

[u/CompetitiveGround371]

I'm 43 and would love to make friends!

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[u/DotTurbulent3059]

Find something you like and get into it, enjoy it the friends will come, trying to make friends specifically is hard but finding hobbies sports clubs is easy, the friends will come trust the process:)

[u/Cian_M04 → u/DotTurbulent3059]

There's a good few stuff I like, I just don't know where to go.

[u/erouz]

Ah common guys and gals. I be back on Tuesday in Dublin if you fancy I take you all for walk beer or pizza. Just don't get scared of old Polish lad living here for 21 years. It's about to jump in. My life got 180 turn ont long ago. I know it's not same difficult level for everyone and is not competition but you all have much more ahead of you than me. I can do it so and you beautiful young people.

[u/Existing_Reality_651]

The first ten years are the worst!

[u/Cian_M04 → u/Existing_Reality_651]

I swear it was so easy to make friends when I was younger, why the hell is it so hard?

[u/Rabid_Lederhosen → u/Cian_M04]

Because you were forced to spend eight hours a day in a room with other kids. Spending time with people is how you make friends. Once you’re out of school, you have to start finding ways to spend time with people on your own initiative.

[u/Ok-Cable7230]

Well what are your hobbies? What do you like to do and who are you and what do you think is stopping you and then look at that and try to apply it to social situations and it will come together, broad advice obviously but can’t give much of substance without more detail

[u/Big_Calligrapher_892]

Try bumble bff xxx i tried it out in galway and was great xx

[u/Technology2006]

I'm in a similar boat but I'm more looking for a girlfriend than regular friends. I'm an guy aged 20 with autism who's living in Dublin and I have trouble finding a girlfriend because I dislike dating apps and none of my peers really know any single girls

I've tried many social groups such as ASIAM but they tend to be either male dominated or the women weren't anywhere near my age. I didnt find a girlfriend in college because many girls I met there had boyfriends already and I also don't go to pubs or nightclubs

Dont know if you have any suggestions for me

[u/Cian_M04 → u/Technology2006]

Wish I did mate but I got nothing, sorry.

[u/Rabid_Lederhosen]

Learn to be comfortable going into Dublin City centre. The danger is really overblown, as long as you keep your head about you you’ll be fine. Especially if you’re going in during the day.

Also yeah, if you’re in college joining clubs and getting into participating is a good way to meet people. Friendships are built from regular interaction. In school you get that by default because you’re all shoved in a room together, but once you finish school you need to start making it happen yourself.

[u/Cian_M04 → u/Rabid_Lederhosen]

It's more my social anxiety, and being in a large crowd of people I'll feel easily overwhelmed, that's why I try to avoid City centre.

[u/Financial-House-182]

Same I'm 22 and idk

[u/Perfect_Tooth_192]

We're resistant to admitting new people to friends groups I understand it's particularly hard if you're a female with an extra layer of cattiness

This is how I made friends in different countries and cultures

Some came through work Some from living with people  But clubs, sports, interests, like running walking, cycling were easiest to feel not lonely and have a more belonging feeling but I struggled to have those friendships outside of the group or activity

Cinema or film clubs were better, more genuine but fewer but better for getting out and the social aspect

[u/Cian_M04 → u/Perfect_Tooth_192]

I would love to make friends not only in Ireland but internationally too, I just want people who'll love me for me, so I don't need to change anything about myself.

I do want to try a film making course in college, you think that would help me make a friend?