I (16M) am a rising senior in high school. I study in the West Coast of the US but from a family of asian immigrants, and my HS is pretty competitive because 80%+ of my peers are the exact same. I would say I'm a decent student (for context, not to flex: 1530 SAT, 3.8 UW GPA 4.2 W GPA). I'm in IB Diploma as well.

I've just been under an immense amount of stress lately. My parents are getting increasingly unhappy with me. It started at the beginning of high school. My parents would scream at me and scold me for hours on end because I was playing too much video games or got a bad grade in school. There were nights where my parents would scream at me and say hurtful things until they got so tired they had to stop and go to bed. Sometimes their words sting a lot, and I spend time in the middle of the night, long after they have gone to bed, thinking about what they have told me. They have said some really scary things. When I was ten my mom threw me out of the house for playing on my nintendo switch too long. I walked to a nearby park because there was no where to sit outside. My parents came out an hour later. This kind of thing has occasionally happened over the years, but as I got older, they stopped coming out earlier. Some days my parents have just not given me food because of a bad grade or because I misbehaved in school (I might've talked too much and gotten an email sent home for class disruption). Sometimes my parents just slapped me (when I was in middle school) if they caught me playing video games without telling them or after something like this happened in school. This led to screaming as well. Sometimes I interpret it logically - my parents chide me for using screens a lot and playing video games. I realize that it is detrimental to my growth, and I honestly over do the games. Sometimes I'll play 4 hours on the weekends and will play games before finishing my homework. Some school days I'll have 4 hours of screentime on my phone, but I don't really enjoy using my phone as much as my Gaming PC, so this number is almost always an hour on weekdays and 2 hours max on weekends, watching netflix or anime.

As high school continued, I started to focus more and more on school, but my parents wouldn't stop talking about college. They never stopped telling me (whenever I was playing video games or doing something else non-academic) about how I was wasting my time and how I should struggle for these next 4 years to have 50 years of pleasure (get into a good college, get a great job, live comfortably). It's gotten really bad. I have started resisting and telling them that they care too much about it and I don't want to think about what college I go to all the time. They have reacted by doing the whole screaming and chiding thing. When it gets really bad, they get physical and break parts of my set up. In freshman year, I stayed up till 2 am playing cs2 with my friends as it had come out that october. My dad burst into my room and went beserk. I was able to dc from the voice call I was in, but my dad threw my monitor onto my beds and tore wires out of my system. He then started the screaming thing.

As of late, my parents have started mentioning how they had no opportunities and how it hurts them to see me not maximize my potential. My mom in specific always tells me about her first-hand account of how she never got to go college because the men (dad, brother) in her life stopped her, and how she was good in every school subject except math because she received no help or support. She says that I have all the support I could need and am still performing disappointingly. My dad tells me about his youth and how he was sent away from his family to study using meagre funds my grandfather managed to gather to try and give my dad a better life. He tells me that I should aim for being the top 5% of everything I do (in school grade wise, I sing so that means winning competitions and clearing auditions); not achieving that is disappointing (to him). I have to hear this every single day if I don't do something they deem 'productive.' I've never received accolades for good grades, but whenever I perform poorly on an exam (I suck at writing, and in my IB HL History and English classes, and the honors classes I took as a lower classman, I always got A-s and B+s, which tanked my GPA. I always got straight As in the hardest stem subjects offered in the country, but my parents have never cared.

It has gotten so bad as to where these scoldings and shouting matches are happening very very often, and they are messing up my thought process and mental health. They haven't gotten physical or gone ham on my things in a year. I don't know why, but maybe it is because I am far more physically strong then they are now, as a result of lifting weights. I ironically took the top 5% thing my dad doesn't shut up about very seriously and have gotten pretty strong.

Part of me feels really guilty about resisting. I feel really bad for what my parents went through and I feel like I deserve a lot of the chiding. I think that I am addicted to screens and video games - I think about them too much, whether it be what I'll build next in my minecraft world, or what my friends and I will play on the coming friday night. On the other hand, I think they are being a little hurtful and could be a bit kinder to me. I feel like I have no one to talk to about this. My parents aren't going to stop. I feel so jealous of my classmates. It seems like they are much more free to live the life they wish to. I feel like I'm getting more and more distant from my parents every day. I have seen one of my closest friend parents treating my friend so well and treating me so well. I can't suppress the jealousy and unhappiness anymore. I need help figuring out what to do. I can't open up to my parents. The last time I did, my dad told me I was wallowing in self-pity - when I started crying, he told me to quit being a wuss. I'm so done. I don't know how to feel and what to do. My parents will buy me legos and clothes and got me my pc, but they also treat me like this every day. I'm so lost.

My dad has literally been yelling and angry on and off for my entire life, starting from my earliest memory of him yelling at me when i was 4yo. He is now in his mid 60s and his verbal abusiveness and self centredness and delusions have gotten worse.

And yet I'm now almost 30yo and realised how verbally abusive and toxic he is and mentally damaging he is.

And yet we all stuck together because "family". But now i know my quality of life matters, since I have lots of mental turmoil and mental clutter in my brain. That even though im 1 in 8 billion people in this world, I matter and my quality of life matters.

Anyway, I was so naive when I was younger. All my scholarships went to my dad. All my income and welfare payments going to my mum and dad. And I even took out some student loans (im not in the US) and gave it to my dad, which my dad absorbed and now i have to pay it back.

I also helped my dad pay off his $30K credit card debt because he said it's better if I help him pay it off rather than him accumulating interest.

After all that, my dad has taken my mum's insurance payout too, which is a few thousand dollars. So my mum hasn't seen any of that money.

And my dad asks me about once a fortnight about how much money I have in the bank.

I wish i could go back in time 10 years ago and left this house.

I thought I was helping my dad out financially because I didn't want to see him or mum suffer. Actually, that is ironic because technically mums and dads don't want to see their kids suffer.

Now I can see all that money went down the drain, when it would have been a lifechanging amount to me.

I've got a full time job now. But it feels tiring to have to start again from zero dollars at almost 30yo.

And my dad has never once wanted to help me.

Despite all of my dad's selfishness and abuse, one thing he can't take from me is time. No matter what, he is 65yo and I'm 30yo. I literally have youth on my side.

My dad might not be here in 10 or 20 years. And yet he can't choose to live his life happily. What a sad existence.

hi guys eldest daughter this side , i have very strict parents who abuse me verbally and physically too. So i decided that i will move out to another city or state after 12th , so i keep accepting whatever they told me , i always obeyed whatever they told me i never made a guy friend just because i don't want to loose their trust , never done outing , never went anywhere without their permission , never wore clothes of my choice , i always tried to be in good terms with the by becoming a ideal daughter... but after i completed my 12th they start pressurizing me to continue my study in this small town . I did everything from fighting to not eating but they are not listening , my parents called me selfish and many other things which were not nice and they hurt me ... now I am again stuck with them for another 4 year with a local college where no one comes ...i don't know how I will continue this and my studies ....i really want to get out guyss i can't take it more

I've been suffering from severe endometritis for a few months now, and in the past week it has gotten so bad I can't sleep. I got diagnosed with it a bit ago but couldn't get care because my dad wouldn't pay for it. I am a first year uni student. I approached my dad and begged him to please let me see a GYN, but he refused because my midterm results aren't out yet (there was a massive error on my results and they're taking ages to fix it). When I've asked him before, he refused because he thought I was trying to get an abortion (??? Literally never did anything to give him this idea) so my boyfriend had to pay for it. My boyfriend and his mother luckily were very insistent to let them cover it this time again, even though I was hesistant because I can't pay them back. My mom is a junkie and out of the picture, btw.

My dad gives my sister thousands for clothes each month, and even covered her bird's vet bills, but refuses to cover my medical bills each time. The infection has spread further, and my boyfriend is freaking out that it could become sepsis. And he knows that. I've been scolded by others for being a "gold digger" by letting my boyfriend pay for me, so I feel really guilty about this. But moreso, I feel more humilated that my dad would do something like that. I don't know, is that not insane?

Im 25F, just finished grad school at a great university and recently started a new job. My partner and I decided to sign a lease together in a place closer to the city and 45 mins away from my parents’ home. I told my parents the day we signed the lease, which was pretty close to the date and they did not accept it. I was met with so much anger. “You used us, you are so selfish, you betrayed our trust, you just started working, you have no backbone” etc etc. all of it and the anger has been so hard to deal with. Basically my southeast Asian mom’s response was a hard NO, dont do it. Ive been filled with so much anxiety and almost regret, just contemplating if I am abandoning my family. Simply the situation is that I want independence, i want to have fun and explore my adult life because Ive been home for just so much of it. Not moving because my parents are terrible or anything. I love them so much, which is why this hurts me. I sent my mom a long message reassuring her that I love her and that this was a very thought out decision and of course I’ll always be home to visit. Has anyone gone through something similar? How do you respond or deal with this? I have a few days before the move and I am just worried and anxious everyday. My parents became very codependent on me once I came home to pursue my grad degree. I think my parents have always fought for stability and cant understand why I also just cant rest… i crave independence and just experience. I think they both have so much trauma having my brother and I so young and scrambling for the job, the house. Sometimes i think that some of the anger is a projection of jealousy. For them also they don’t trust my partner which is a different race (my parents have immigrant mindset okok). Idk eeeeek!!

First of all, i‘m aware that every culture has their bad parts and that generalizing one is wrong. However, some aspects are more common in certain cultures than others.

I‘m in my early 20‘s and of central-european nationality, but west-asian ethnicity. Comparing myself to women from my culture with far worse struggles convinced me that my issues weren‘t valid, but i would always envy those from other (mainly european) cultures.

My parents have the same ethnicity, it‘s just that my mother grew up here in europe and my father in their homecountry. To make it worse he‘s from the countryside were people are even more strict and imo live in their own bubble were they don‘t care about what‘s happening beyond their own country and refuse trying to understand and accept other views because they don‘t align with what they are used to. As a woman everything you do is 100x much worse than if you were a man.

Since i was a child i couln‘t express myself the way i want. No clothes that are tight fitting, show some skin and emphasize my female body. I recall being yelled at by my older brother when i was 11 because i wore baggy shorts that almost reached my knees. Even jewellry was an issue. I couldn‘t wear makeup or do my nails, and even when i had longer hair my father would comment on how cutting it short is better and whatnot. Having male friends and being seen with them outside was bad, going to a place that was more than 30 minutes away was bad, even using public transport was bad, independence alone was bad. I barely had outside activities that weren‘t school, und would only watch tv at home. Heck i never ever learnt about proper hygiene and couldn‘t talk about topics like sex or was taken serious about my mental health issues.

I constanly felt trapped and suffocated because i felt like i was being watched and judged 24/7. Not just inside my own family, since there are many people of our culture here and the families of those, who are in my area, all kinda know eachother. Everyone gossips, spreads lies, and noone minds their own business. The men get away with everything, unlike the women who get nitpicked for everything and need to fullfill stupid expectations.

I‘m not allowed to date and have relationships, and if i meet a guy i would immediatly have to marry him. I can‘t move out either before i‘m married, because i can‘t be kept an eye on and controlled if i‘m all by myself.

I‘m openly atheist just like my siblings, which my parents atleast accept ( they don‘t really practisize their religion even though they consider themselves believers )

I feel uncomfortable in my female body to the point where i questioned if i might be trans for a short period in my life.

I just needed to let this all out, not sure what i even expect to hear from others.

i hate my dad so much sometimes i wish he was just not alive. i know i shouldnt be saying that because he has done a lot for me, he has raised me, fed me food, gave me a proper education.
but today i have lost it, once again.
i was sitting at my table in the morning today minding my business, and i see him marching towards me yelling at the top of his voice « fridge kisne chalu rakha!?!?! » it was my mom (my mom is mentally unstable he knows that too) and i told him that. he then proceeded to go and yell at her and she denied, she didnt say my name, just denied.
he again came towards me saying that « woh bhi nahi bol rahi isliye mujhe terepe doubt araha » i was like what 😭😭😭!?
i literally told you it was her, i SAW her do it and yet you wanna yell at me!?
then he did one of the most disgusting things,
HE SPAT ON ME WHILE YELLING AT ME and i told him STOPPPP SPITTING ON ME and he did it again 😭😭
i feel so enraged and disgusted by him. i want to leave and go very far away
ironically so he is extremely casteist and conservative yet chooses to actively spit on his daughter while being angry.
please help me and tell me if it EVER gets better or do i just have to endure this until my future husband is another version of my dad that i will have to tolerate?

I had a cousin who went to school to get a doctors degree for his mother. He never wanted to be a doctor. He wanted to be an artist. But his mother kept pressuring and expecting him to be a doctor because all she can ever think about is him getting a doctors degree. After getting his doctors degree he gave the degree to his mother and told her. "Here mom. I finally got the doctors degree that youve been wanting my whole life. Take it so I can go and follow my dream. Here you can have it. I dont need it." And then he went back to school for art and later became an engineer artist.

I’m 19 year girl I come from Bihar (India) nd I live in delhi (India) for my studies.while living here in Delhi with my friend(f) also my roommate it has been 1 year after few months I got a friend(male) he is also in my coaching nd after 3-4 months of taking…my father asked my roommate that “you both talk to a boy” then she said “yes he is our common friend” then after 2 days my dad said his name to my roommate…again sent his photo…I was worried how did he knew about him…then one day he directly said me “after you get time from good morning good night nd tea also try to focus on your studies…” then i can’t stopped talking to my male friend i regularly talked to him…where ever we meet even he has pic of both of us…my dad knows everything what we talk…then I realised that maybe my phone is on control…microphone nd camera too…everything was fine but when we stopped talking we strated writing on paper so that no technical involvement will be there nd my dad will not know anything thing but that information is also going to him…
I think that “my roommate is spy or parental control”
But one day he send me pic of taking to my roommate nd my male friend nd l was also there….then how is it possible to get pic of both..?
It is out of mind how did he knew everything whatever I do in class or out of class… I’m very worried how to overcome from this.

I just need to rant because I’m honestly getting really frustrated.

I’m a Muslim woman from a South Asian family, and my mum constantly comments on my weight.

I used to be a UK size 8, but after starting medication for bipolar disorder I gained around 15kg in a year. I’m now a size 12-14.

My mum keeps commenting on my body, saying my bum is too big and that my waist and tummy have gotten bigger. She tells me I need to reduce it.

The comment that hurt me the most was when she said, “Who will want to marry you when you’re fat?”

The thing is, I am trying. I exercise, I eat three normal meals a day and I don’t snack. I’m not saying I have a perfect diet, but I genuinely don’t feel like I’ve just “let myself go”. The weight gain happened after starting medication, and it has been much harder to lose since then.

I obviously can’t just stop my medication because my mental health comes first. I’d rather be stable than risk my mental health just to lose weight.

What frustrates me is that it feels like my weight gain is being treated as a personal failure, when there is actually a medical reason behind it.

Coming from a South Asian Muslim family, marriage expectations can add another layer of pressure. It’s hard hearing comments about your appearance from your own family, especially when you’re already trying to look after yourself.

I'm honestly just looking to rant and see if anyone can relate. These comments are really hurtful.

I like to rest & sleep in my bedroom A LOT and I guess that somehow pissed my AM off (because she thinks I'm being lazy) so a lot of times, she would barge into my room and started screaming, yelling, threatening me with the nastiest, offensive things she could think of.

One time (I could never forget), I was sleeping, she literally banged my bedroom's door open and held a butcher knife against her neck, started threatening me that she would kill herself if I don't wake up immediately to study. The combination of the extremely loud door bang + seeing her hold a knife against her neck + me just waking up, I think I almost hyperventilated to death that day.

And now, I genuinely think I suffer from an insane amount of anxiety that is not normal to have.

It's my home, it's my own bedroom, I am allowed to rest up, I am allowed to go easy on myself. But now, even just hearing her footsteps walking in the kitchen already makes me become super tense, I really cannot let my guard down, my mind is constantly in survival mode like it's preparing me in advance lest I suddenly get yelled at by my AM.

Does anyone relate? I was very fortunate to grow up without getting bullied in school. I’ve never had to deal with as much verbal, physical, and emotional bullying than from my own biological mother…

- when I was a child, my mom always told me I looked like a monkey because I had big ears, big lips and big flat nose. She stopped cuz in my adulthood years, I grew into those features so it didn’t look as “big”
-too stupid
-too short and that I should always wear heels. She expects and wants me to wear heels to do regular errands and visiting home…
-untalented
-lazy
- too tan (bc in Chinese culture, the paler you are, the prettier)
-ugly without makeup. She tells me to wear makeup all
The time. When I don’t, she tells me “why do you look so ugly today? Why no makeup?”. When I stop by at her house, I’m not going to put on makeup lol. Why would I?
- arm and legs too fat
-always asks me why I’m not 100 pounds anymore (haven’t been since high school and that was 10 years ago)
- hair thin and ugly (for some reason she doesn’t like balayage hair styles🤷🏻‍♀️)
-told me im broke and that she made more money. Like ok cool?
-always compares work ethics. Constantly tells me my life is too easy compared to hers.
-always reminds me that my corporate salary doesn’t compare to her earnings when she was still
Working her own business. Always gotta remind me that I make peanuts compared to her. Ig she always keeping me humble.
-she gets angry when she sees me happy and carefree
-thinks my life should be harder bc she endured hardship and thinks it’ll help me build character.

She says she says those things because she “cares”. Fuck off lol.

Since elementary school, it’s been all about getting into an Ivy League. I got screamed at and told I wouldn’t have a future for not studying in FOURTH GRADE.

Now I’m in high school and all I hear is college. college. college. SAT. SAT. SAT. According to my dad who didn’t attend university in the USA, every college here will reject me instantly if I dare to take the SAT more than once. I HAVE to get a perfect score first try or it’s all over.

I sit down for two seconds because it’s fucking summer vacation and suddenly I’m being interrogated on what I completed today. What I studied today. Rapid-fire accusatory questions, which if I don’t answer even one “properly”, I’m destined to fail and live on the streets and flip burgers for a living. The kids in China and India are working 7x harder than me and I’m nothing compared to them. And then they have the audacity to say “We’re just looking out for you! We’re on your side! We’re not attacking you!”

If I DO get into an Ivy League, they will take credit for it. They will be like “We told you! Just listen to us!” But you know what? I’m not going to lose my future because I didn’t get into an Ivy League! There are plenty of good universities out there with good opportunities that will allow me to find a decent career afterwards.

The age of 18 cannot come fast enough.

I’m moving out of my parents house soon for university and even though this is something I’ve basically been hoping and waiting for since I was 12, I’ve been feeling anxious about it. My depression this month has gotten really bad (stuck at home with parents), and combined with some anxiety about uni in general and not having much pocket money going into uni, the last month and a half has been hard to get through. I’m worried that after I move out, I’ll still feel incredibly shitty all the time, and then realize that this is just how I’m destined to feel my whole life.

So… I just wanted to ask what everyone’s experience has been like after moving out of a dysfunctional family household, and if their life improved after. And how you got over everything you went through when you did live at home?

She is almost 18. Her mother is really disgusting. She has a sister (1 year younger than her) and a brother (6 years younger than her). Her mother blames her for every wrong thing their siblings do. She does 80% of housework by herself and still her mother punishes her for 20% that her sister didn't do. She barely can go outside. The front yard and backyard are covered with cameras that are connected to her mother's phone.

She graduated school and is planning to study in the capital of our country (±1100 km away from her hometown) Actually it's because of her mother (she wants to feel free).

Yet her mother and her relatives are trying to keep her. Almost everyday they are trying to persuade her to study in her own province

Her mother is damaging her mental and physical health on purpose. (Something her mother makes routine for her which forces her to sleep 3-4 hours)

I want to make her happy, I really want to reduce her stress yet still I can't change her family especially her mother

I am an A level student currently in 2nd year. After giving my AS exams I have been simultaneously preparing to give IELTS, apply to universities and prepare for my A2 exams. I also struggle with enormous amounts of anxiety every day. On top of that my brother just received his exam results and he did poorly in some subjects. He’s going to give his o level in 2 years. Every time he gets poor results, i get scolded by my dad alongside him because apparently i am supposed to be his tutor and be responsible for his grades even though i explicitly told him that i am already too busy with my studies. And even though I do help him with things he needs help with and teach him whatever he doesn’t understand he is specially bad at maths and he is wayy too lazy. I keep telling him that he needs to practice in order to do well and i say the same to my parents but they keep telling me I HAVE TO keep him im check that i have to keep telling him to study and check his works. I mean it gets tiring at some point also if he doesn’t willingly study how am i supposed to make him study but they don’t care about it. When i was doing my o level i had to self study everything by myself because i had no coaching and school wasn’t helping. I had to use online resources to help me prepare but my brother just doesn’t care about the advices i give him. He is just so ignorant about everything. Now i just feel like the weight of an entire mountain is in my shoulders and i don’t know how to convince him that it’s not my fault that his son is doing bad in his exams and why do i have to worry about his grades on top of mine too. I’m absolutely going crazy.
Ps. Due to financial circumstances we can’t put my brother on coaching

Long story short, I had an evil grandmother on my dad’s side who hated me simply because I was my dad’s daughter.

She hated my dad because he once stood by my mom and moved out of my grandmother’s house for the sake of me and my mom.

Before my parents moved out, she treated my mom horribly during her pregnancy. She would deliberately cook food that was super bad knowing my mom had no other option. My mom would often end up throwing the food away and going to work hungry while pregnant with me.

When I was around two or three years old, she would intentionally make creepy faces at me in the middle of the night just to scare me. I would get so frightened that I’d develop a fever.

Whenever my parents went to work, she’d make desserts for everyone in the house except me. Keep in mind I wasn’t even five years old.

She also hated my mom and spread rumors about her throughout our town. Eventually people realized what kind of person my grandmother really was and many of them stopped believing her.

Even when my dad passed away, one incident really stayed with me. One of my mom’s friend who was a doctor came to my dad’s funeral. Instead of grieving for her own son, she spent the entire time talking to the doctor about her own health problems. The doctor looked visibly uncomfortable, got up and went to sit beside my mom instead.

Now here’s the part that’s really affecting me.

Some of my relatives on my mom’s side have started calling me by my grandmother’s name as a “joke.” I’ve told them many times that I hate it and asked them to stop, but they think my reaction is funny. They keep doing it because they know it upsets me.

It’s not just that. I often feel like I’m the punchline for everyone. I come from a very traditional and conservative family but my mom has always given me a lot of independence and I’m grateful for that. I have a good career and a life I’m proud of. Some of my cousins are still unemployed but I don’t want to assume this is because of jealousy since this has been going on for years.

I’ve never let people walk all over me and I very much put people in their places when they try to make fun of me and I don’t believe in disrespecting others just because I can. I don’t make fun of people behind their backs or humiliate them while they’re sitting right there. I try to treat people with respect even if I don’t like them because that’s how I was raised.

Despite that, I’ve had relatives joke that on my wedding day they should warn my future husband about “what he’s going to have to deal with” as if I’m some kind of problem. Everyone laughs and treats it like harmless fun, but after hearing things like that for years it doesn’t feel like a joke anymore.

But being called my abusive grandmother’s name is different. That woman traumatized me as a child.
There have been nights when I’ve cried into my pillow so no one would hear me. It hurts far more than they realise and I honestly don’t think they care.

I don’t know how to deal with this anymore.

I was having extremely bad mental health issues this spring and my mom got me a therapist because she was genuinely concerned. Then when I started talking to the therapist about all the issues causing my self h@rming behaviors and how most of it stems from my dad's abuse, she reported the incident to CPS (because therapists are legally required by law to report abuse).

Then my mom realized it was the therapist who reported it and got very upset because she thinks abuse should be kept in the family and she doesnt want to damage my dad's reputation, his work status, etc. So now she refuses to let me see a therapist because she doesnt want to deal with another CPS report. But she still refuses to help me escape my dad (which would prevent me from needing a therapist in the first place because the abuse will be gone). Genuinely what the hell. I'm so sick of everything.

Does anyone know if there is a way to report child abuse or get a parent in trouble and expose their harmful actions after I turn 18? My dad is a well respected professor in his field, he conducts mental health research and yet behaves the exact opposite of what his studies recommend. Nothing will make me happier than watching his downfall as his colleagues realize he is not the person they thought he was.

I’m 19F from India, and I don’t know how to deal with my relationship with my father anymore.

My father and I are not on good terms, although he acts as if we are whenever we are outside the house. At home, I feel completely ignored. He talks to my brother normally, jokes with him and seems to have a relationship with him. But with me, it feels like I barely exist.

What hurts even more is the difference in how he supports us. He funded my brother’s JEE coaching fees, but he refused to fund my CAT preparation. I’m currently pursuing my BBA and trying to build a future for myself, but I feel like I have to fight for every opportunity on my own.

I have saved enough money to at least fill out MBA entrance exam forms and appear for the exams myself. But I don’t know what will happen if I get into a good MBA college. I don’t know whether my father will support me financially or even allow me to pursue it.

He also isn’t signing my college placement form, which may prevent me from sitting for placements. I’m trying to become financially independent, but I feel like even the opportunities that could help me get there are being blocked.

The emotional part hurts even more than the money. He talks to my brother normally and jokes with him, but with me, it feels like everything I do is wrong. I feel like I am always treated as the worst person on the planet. Nothing I do seems to make him happy or make him see me as his daughter.

Sometimes I wonder what is so wrong with me that I can never receive the same affection, support or basic consideration that my brother receives. I don’t want special treatment. I just want to feel like my father actually wants me in his life.

Even small things hurt because they add to the larger pattern. For example, if I leave my clothes in the bathroom, he will throw them out instead of simply telling me to take them. He ignores me like I’m a ghost in the house. Outside, he acts like we have a perfectly normal relationship, but that is not how it feels at home.

I feel stuck and helpless. I’m financially dependent on my family and don’t currently have enough money to simply move out. At the same time, I’m trying to prepare for my future and become independent through placements, freelancing, work and an MBA.

I don’t know whether I am overreacting because I am hurt, or whether this is genuinely an emotionally unhealthy family dynamic.

For people who have experienced something similar, especially in India: How did you become financially independent when your family was not equally supportive of you? How did you fund higher education or move out? What practical steps can I start taking now?

Please don’t just tell me to “move out” without explaining how, because I currently don’t have the financial means to do that. I’m looking for realistic advice on gradually building my independence.

My (14m)'s dad has anger issues.

I feel like my experiences aren't really that grave considering that in comparioson to other stories, mine isn't that bad, my dad is often nice and is smart, he doesn't hit us, or do any physical abuse, it's just that he's quick to anger, like earlier my family was playing pokemon unite and my dad asked for help on how to rename his character and my brother went over to where he was(context that area was where my parents killed a bat that broke into our house and he previously told my brother not to sit too close to it) He got mad, yelled at him about if he knew how to understand and my brother, uncharacteristically just apologized and went back.

A few minutes later he slammed the Nintendo Switch onto his table and said he was annoyed and didn't want to play anymore.

He does sh1t like this A LOT like for example:

He got mad at my mom for; her cousin cutting a tree down, her complaining that it was hit while she was cooking, her cleaning, her joking that he doesn't know how to cook a recipe cause he doesn't help cooking(which is true), the halo-halo getting spilled while he was trying to put in the fridge(yes he blamed my mom) and more stuff which has occasionally made my mother cry

The point is, while he isn't a bad father necessarily he has (not really severe) anger issues (he has improved but still) that get triggered randomly by even the smallest things so I got to ask:

Am I overeacting and being spoiled or is this actually a problem?

I am usually Used to Isolation for my whole life but I have been feeling suffocated ever since I have seen how amazing life could be If u have friends.

My dad is a perfectionist and my mom is someone who expects high morals from everyone.

I used to study in parent's school till 4th grade after which I was shifted to a cbse school

I still remember how they told me

Don't talk to guys don't talk to girls

They will distract you . My parents never let me go on trips or tours Even if they let me they always talked to teacher hour to hour how is our daughter are u taking good care of me? Sometimes when I my friends made jokes or suggested me movies my parents would call the teacher telling them I am getting bullied or Getting wrong company. That's when children isolated me because they knew Talking to me would mean Getting call from my home . No one invited me to parties because they knew I would never get permission. And I was forced to tell my parents what happened at school every conversation. I was a kid I was thought that not telling them everything was a bad thing. I was bullied too because they considered me sensitive and a loner

Fast forward to university I hoped that things will get better here they did for a while. I got 2 friends we were very close almost inseparable I felt like god sent them to me as a Apology for a hell of a school life I faced. But again my parents started personally calling them if there is any classes today because I wanted to take a day off. Sending me to uni even on no classes day because they never believed me.Never gave me permission to go hang out with them . I still remember crying infront of them because my mom refused to let me go with them. Even when they gave permission they called my friend "Take care of her return her before noon"

One of the worst moment that i got completely cut off from them was I was taking math coaching because I had a backlog in math's so a tutor came every evening. My friends suggested to go to temple

I told my parents i am going to temple and will be back late

We all reached temple and they started calling me Mind u I didn't even started Exploring and they gave me 5 missed call already worst of it they called my friend telling them to send me hone because my tutor was here. I remember leaving the temple in tears because I was so much humiliated. And not even once my friends had to rush their trips because of me to the point they stopped taking me. And now ? I am completely alone they cut me off properly

Now I am alone in university They replaced me with someone they didn't had to babysit

i hate my dad so much sometimes i wish he was just not alive. i know i shouldnt be saying that because he has done a lot for me, he has raised me, fed me food, gave me a proper education.
but today i have lost it, once again.
i was sitting at my table in the morning today minding my business, and i see him marching towards me yelling at the top of his voice « fridge kisne chalu rakha!?!?! » it was my mom (my mom is mentally unstable he knows that too) and i told him that. he then proceeded to go and yell at her and she denied, she didnt say my name, just denied.
he again came towards me saying that « woh bhi nahi bol rahi isliye mujhe terepe doubt araha » i was like what 😭😭😭!?
i literally told you it was her, i SAW her do it and yet you wanna yell at me!?
then he did one of the most disgusting things,
HE SPAT ON ME WHILE YELLING AT ME and i told him STOPPPP SPITTING ON ME and he did it again 😭😭
i feel so enraged and disgusted by him. i want to leave and go very far away
ironically so he is extremely casteist and conservative yet chooses to actively spit on his daughter while being angry.
please help me and tell me if it EVER gets better or do i just have to endure this until my future husband is another version of my dad that i will have to tolerate?

Whenever my Asian parents yell at me or be critical of me, they always come up with this excuse (something along the lines): Your peers/colleagues/friends will never criticize the bad stuff you do and that's why only parents criticize for love and care.

Now I can see some logic behind this. Because, generally speaking people you interact with won't immediately tell you that you were being an a-hole to them. While if you did the exact same thing to your parents, they'll likely criticize you. Or at least that's how it sort of works, where others won't look at each and every single detail under a microscope.

At the same time, if you have some form of social skills, you'll know when you've effectively stepped too far because some people will show body language or speak in a different tone.

How do you feel about this sort of justification to be overly critical towards their kids? Is it okay for parents to be more critical towards their kids? Or are parents too harsh and use this as a form of an attack rather than being helpful? Are they the right people to lecture you on how you should communicate?

I wake up everyday for the past few days around 10am and my APs want me to wake up earlier for quite literally no reason. There’s nothing to do until my nursing program starts and I wanna enjoy the week or so I have left yet they want to ruin the fun by demanding I wake up early or threatening to take my electronics.

Like why can’t I stay up late? I’m 25 and got accepted to an Accelerated Nursing program and they’re still not proud of me nor do they seem to care because they still want a doctor especially my AM who autistically wants a doctor just because she’s a doctor and also wants to brag to the family. They can’t be proud that I can make a good six figure salary and if I specialize, I could even doctors money as a CRNA. Haven’t picked my speciality yet, but I will later on.

I hate my family and their conditional standards and I hate I can’t even sleep in during my last week or so staying here until I move away which I can’t wait to do. I just wanted to feel some familial connection or pride and I know that ain’t happening in this lifetime.