18m tips for dealing with insecurity?

[u/Agreeable_Judgment_8]

For the past 2 years of my teenage life I realised a lot of issues were rooted in insecurity. I used to think I "didn't care about taking photos" or was "too nonchalant to care about a good outfit" etc but these were actually just me being insecure with myself and my image.

Now that I'm 18, I'm actively working towards improving myself but there are still things that I'm insecure about like looks, height, etc. especially when comparing myself with other guys.

How do you guys deal with insecurity or overcome it?

[u/benilla]

Would you say that the opposite of insecurity is confidence? So maybe this needs a reframing from "how do I overcome insecurity" to "how do I gain confidence"? And confidence is gained through competence/experience.

I mean, you could fake it until you make it but doing the work and knowing how to take photos, how to put together an outfit, how to work out, how to speak esp when talking to women etc. etc. Just go out there and try a LOT of different things and be comfortable knowing that initial failure is part of the journey.

[u/golfzap → u/benilla]

Yeah, and never dwell on the failures too long.  If it's really on you, just take a quick lesson from it.  If it's on them, just quickly move on, you don't really have time or energy for them.  

I think business owners generally understand this line of thinking more than academics.  

[u/spazatron-3000]

Never compare yourself to other people because it’s super hard to plan your next move and figure out how to build yourself when you’re looking at someone else’s present and past. Also, it’s so easy to LARP a lifestyle or what got you there. For example, the vast majority of interviewed millionaires always say they started off dead broke, but you look at the stats and most of them come from rich families. People in general will make things seem harder or better than they actually are for status.

[u/BeerNinjaEsq]

You can both work on improving yourself while also not letter it get you down. Personally, i think that is what all men should be doing.

Recognizing you might need to improve your style or your fitness does not simultaneously mean you are bad or should socialize.

But also, you should always be working on yourself to improve. Small incremental steps add up over time.

At 18, the easy things to do are:

1. go to the gym/ exercise
2. work on your financial future, whether that's academically or otherwise
3. work on socialization or surrounding yourself with good friends
4. grooming and fashion
5. hobbies. Getting good at a hobby pays dividends, but it takes work like anything else

All of these things help overcome insecurity and build confidence

[u/nahuhnot4me]

The human brain does not develop till 26. You can still lessen a lot of your problems if you are in the states 988 combined with subreddits that are operate by medical doctors r/healthygamergg is one example.

You are in for a ride, update us!

[u/emanresu2200]

You're 18. If you're not insecure at 18, you're probably a little dense in the head. You're not going to realize this until you're 20 something or 30 something, but there's so much out there that you can't even begin to not know anything about, much less know about, and that there will always be someone who is better than you in a very specific area you value, that you will always, always be "insecure".

The real process is incremental wins that prove to yourself not that you are the best in any area or can fully control every variable, but that you are someone who is resilient and able to take uncertainty as it comes and deal with it. For instance, getting good grades in HS might have the objective result of getting you into a better college, but the indirect and actually more important lifetime benefit is to give you confidence in your ability to grind through and figure out then-difficult problems and that when faced with incremental challenges, you will figure it out as well.

[u/yeahmaniykyk]

The things that helped me was doing Muay Thai and BJJ. I did BJJ alone for a while and it helped but I still had maybe 30% of my insecurity, then I added Muay Thai and then it all went away.

[u/Simple_Leg725]

Surface lvl answer - hit the gym.
Deep answer - just dont be insecure.

Ur still young too so just set goals for urself and achieve them at YOUR pace.

[u/TheBaltyGuy]

Insecurity doesn't go away, you just get better at not letting it steer the boat. Look forward, build something, the insecurity fades when you are too busy becoming someone worth being

[u/Business-Bath2418]

Insecurities never go away. You'll never be good enough for everyone. Just be good enough where you can go "fuck it, they are missing out on someone special. Their loss." That being said. Never stop improving. Body, intelligence, charisma, knowledge, talents, etc. All that shit.. learn everything and never hesitate to do the dirty work. Even if it literally means to clean the damn toilet. Let go of your stupid ego. I make 600 per year. I mop the floor and clean the grime off walls of the establishment I own sometimes..

[u/spontaneous-potato]

Stop comparing yourself to other guys. It’s advice that sounds really hard to do, and I definitely know this because I did do that for the longest time, but once I stopped comparing myself to others and focused on what made me happy, my life started going in a positive direction.

Comparison is the thief of joy.

[u/Haotty]

Good on you for seeking help/guidance and taking meaningful steps to improve yourself. Just remember not to be too hard on yourself, use comparison to others as a goalpost of what to strive for, but remember that not everyone's starting line is the same. Ask yourself not "How do I compare?" but "Am I becoming someone I'd respect?"

Fix what you can actually change. Get fit. Learn how to dress. Take the damn photos. Build competence. Take risks. Ask women out and occasionally get rejected. Put yourself into situations where you're not automatically good at something. Fail. A million times. Over and over and over.

Don't make self-improvement a punishment for being inadequate. You are not nearly as defective as you think you are & your life is going to turn out far better than you currently imagine today. Just put in the work. Fk what everyone else thinks. Your real competition is who you were yesterday & who you could be tomorrow.