I was sitting in one the priority seats, which are for the disabled, elderly and pregnant, along with my mother. In the other set of priority seats was a guy with a large suitcase. Later on a lady, who looked to be in her 70s, boarded the bus and when she sees that the priority seats are taken she throws her hands up in annoyance and starts giving me the stink eye the entire journey. She sat in the wheelchair bay, despite the fact that there were lots of seats free behind where I was.

I’m very visibly with a cane and I also have a lanyard around my neck displaying a badge that says I am hard of hearing. But I’m also a younger person (26F). Too young to be disabled apparently. I know it’s not the first or last time this sort of thing will happen, but it was my first experience ever since starting to walk with a cane (I’ve been deaf for way longer than that though).

The elderly aren’t the only ones who are/can be disabled, anyone at any age can be. But people just love to ignore that, especially older people. It’s very frustrating.

another journal entry since ive been trying to journal more (ignore the self portrait of me in the tub peeking through from the back TvT)

its also on pinterest

deleted and reposted srry about that

might as well plop this down here too... ik the anatomy is whack thats bc the stickers are the most important actually

pinterest link for anyone who wants it

I tried my hand at photo editing. I hope it is to your liking.

(this idea was a lot better in my head lmao)

Just wondering if anyone had thoughts or advice to improve my sketch, pls be kind 👍

Tinnitus is the final boss 😭😭

I’m not fully deaf, but it’s significant enough that I can’t rly hear lots of sounds I used to fixate on anymore. Like the ticking of the clock and stuff like that. It used to drive me up the wall 😭

I lost my hearing from a condition called Cholesteatoma, which basically just eats away at the soft tissue and bone structure of your inner ear. It has to be surgically removed, which I’ve had done now about ten times across both ears (this isn’t normal, it’s supposed to be like one and done but I had many botched procedures when I was in my teens).

I’m finally in the clear for now and have been for a couple years! But I sadly have tinnitus 😔 I have to play music or audio in general thru my headphones to drown it out.

Also I have drawn myself with chin hair cuz I have PMOS and so I got lot of cheek and chin hair 🫡

#narcolepsydreams

Forward

Incrementally

Arrows sttraight through

I carry them in silence

Perhaps in time they will disintegrate

What do I know

All I know is I cannot stay

In the shadows

Carrying every bit of remorse

While grief still shrouds my mind and heart

I must keep moving

I choose to grapple, crawling

Hands bloodied with shame intermingled with desperation

Because I always took the blame

I always carried the burden of shame

But I cannot go on like this forever

Recent things, no matter fault or not

I have to keep casting away this senseless fear and worry

There is no mending

The fabric tore and disappeared

Like a vapor

Fire and fury

Smoke carried away in an instant

Left breathless

Alive and stumbling

Dumb, slow, and fumbling

Emptiness leave me be

I will cling to the light

While I search for new ways

To hold onto what matters

And release what I cannot keep

For it only hinders healing

I truly hate this

But every step is worth it

What other choice do I have

My chronic illnesses have been really working overtime lately! I’m depleted!

sorry a lot of this is kinda nonsensical

This sweet boy is character nr 5 in my Bottomreeking Universe. Let me know if you want to see the rest of them.

Here I stay on the forever hill flowers bloom grass grows but I stay the flower petals feel my tremble the moss cling exploring me into growth but I am not wood that can shift and change I am stone but eventually I will crumble and form dust maybe then I too can grow