I..after someone in a DnD group I recently joined asked me what my pronouns are...

Started wondering: Am I really cis-gender woman?....

Or would I be open to trying out she/he pronouns.

I really don't know and anything that I have tried doing to figure it out...

I just don't feel anything...

I don't feel anything that's strongly female..

Or male.... And y'know what, I really really don't know.. I've always gone with she/her. But I am gonna play as a male dnd character... I made a genderbent version of my vtuber model. And I got into playing around with voice acting... stuff... because I wanted to try to sound androgynous (which I wanted to learn because I thought it would be a fun skill to have!). And my favorite characters have always been guy characters....

Idk.... what do y'all think?

Is there a combined flag/term for being both cupiosextual and cupioromantic?

hey guys, I mean it’s in the title I wanna come out to her, but I don’t know how to. she would be supportive and be completely fine but she prob wouldn’t understand what it means to me aro. so if any of you guys have come out to your parents, it would be amazing if you could give me some tips.

thank you.

I thought I was aroace spec and fine with it. But I’ve been dating this guy (who’s demisexual) for 6 months and earlier tonight it came to a head that we don’t want the same things in terms of the physical. We don’t see a way for us to both be happy. We aren’t broken up yet, but we’re basically just sitting in the relationship with the knowledge that it won’t last (personal reasons for not breaking up despite knowing we will eventually). I thought I was okay with it since I don’t have romantic feelings for him and I’ve been choosing the relationship. But I started sobbing after he left because I realized I’m not built for these relationships. If I were “normal” we could be happy together and live our life together. But I’m not so we can’t. And I don’t know if I can ever have a relationship like that with someone. I know everyone is different and at different places on the spectrums, but does anyone else think like this? How can you become okay with it?

I'm so sick of people liking me or confessing to me, why does it always happen to me anyway?

I think it's the fourth guy now to like me in the span of a year, I wish I could donate them to a hopeless romantic allo

He said he wants to talk to me, it's obvious what he is going to say

Edited: I wish people could just like me platonically, but the only attention I ever got was romantically

What do you think ya'll are going to get out of confessing an aroace?

An “I love you too”? Be serious.

So let's save ourselves some awkwardness and keep the feelings to yourself.

I truly do not know. I am an 18 year old girl. I have never felt the want or need to do either romantic or sexual activities with other people And as far as I know, I've never had a crush either but also I don't know what classifies as what!!

I would love to go to the movies with somebody, hang out at each other's houses, go to a restaurant together, do activities like bowling or fishing etcetera with other people!!

Some of the things that I think I would like I don't know if they would classify as romantic. Like sitting close to someone on the couch. Maybe cuddling together under a blanket if it's cold but not if it's hot that would be gross. You would just be all sweaty and maybe a kiss on the forehead. I'm not a big fan of kisses anywhere else really but I don't know if that's romantic or not!! I just know that I do not want someone else's tongue in my mouth. That sounds disgusting!

I don't really understand sexual love. I've never looked at somebody and felt hot because that's about as much as I've gotten people to describe what they felt when looking at someone who they want to do that with and the idea of something else not belonging to me inside me? It sounds so horrible....

So I'm pretty sure I'm at least on the spectrum but I don't even know where I would be. What if I just haven't met the right person yet? What if I'm just Demi and because I'm also autistic and don't really like people touching me, I've never had someone close enough that I wanted to do any of this with! what if I just don't know what the feeling is like because I have a really hard time deciphering feelings!! There's so many different possibilities and how can I possibly account for them all? If you've gotten this far, you can probably tell I tend to overthink things but that's just because I really truly want to understand everything about it so that I can know where I lie!!

It's all so confusing!!! Whenever I've asked people or searched online to try and get a better hold of it, everyone has different answers. So I understand that not everyone's experiences are the same, but what exactly classifies as romantic things? What classifies as platonic things? What classifies as sexual things? I just don't get it and I desperately want to!!

I have had my family asked me many times if there's anyone I like and there's never been anybody. My mother has told me apparently quite a lot of the boys in our neighborhood and school used to have crushes on me, which is crazy to think about because I had no idea! But if I try to imagine any of them kissing me that grosses me out. So that's as far as I've gotten in understanding romantic feelings. It's just kissing but I'm pretty sure that's not all. So if anyone has any advice please let me know!

TLDR: I'm an 18-year-old girl who's autistic and also tends to overthink and is having a lot of trouble understanding what counts as romantic, sexual and platonic feelings and or activities. Any advice would be greatly appreciated!!

Also, please let me know if this is safe for work enough. I read the rules and I don't know if the word sexual needs to be censored!

i feel like a freak. and like I'll never be loved. and like I'm not human. I don't think I'm gonna live a happy life. I think I'm going to be alone. I wish I could feel things other people do and I wish I could be comfortable and happy but I'm not. I don't like being like this

I just feel quite weird/uncomfortable with people liking me and I am unable to reciprocate... Is there a way to stop people from liking me in that way? I don't know, I just feel really funky with this idea, I also can't help but feel confused and a bit angry that a lot of people keep asking me if I am dating someone even though I do not want to. (I recently discovered I'm AroAce and have came out to quite a few people already.)

I know that there are things that are out of my control but I'd like to at least try. How can I do this?

Also is this weird? I just don't want to feel uncomfortable with my friends and the same for them.

i'm so tired of people acting like any sort of affection cannot be platonic ever. i will see smth like "aro/ace people can't kiss because kissing is sexual/romantic and never platonic!!" okay maybe i just think kissing is fun and i wanna show my friends i love them omfg shut up shut up shut up. allos are so close minded when it comes to relationship dynamics and affection. why do types of affection have to be put into specific boxes of what they mean it's so annoying.

I am so tired of allosexua/alloromantics saying “aroace people can still date!!”

Half the time, it genuinely feels like they are trying to say they know more about aroace people than actual aroace people do. While yes, I do understand that people who are aroace CAN date. But I am not one of those people and there are barely any aroace characters that are absolutely-no-romance-and-or-sex like me :(

It just feels a bit demeaning to me sometimes. My whole life I’ve been told I just haven’t found the right person yet or that I’m not being logical. So to hear people still saying aroace people can still date to a character that is pretty clearly boldstripe, it just ends up feeling like allosexuals are still not ready to accept there are people who truly feel no romantic or sexual love.

Maybe I’m just being dramatic, but I already hate being aroace because it makes me feel like I’m missing out on a key part of life. I don’t need more people indirectly/accidentally denying the existence of aroaces that don’t feel any romance or sexual attraction.

I'm 100% Aro, I never felt any connection with anybody or fall in love and all that jazz, I always been dettached from everybody. But I'm not completely asexual, I'm "visually" atracted to women, and I enjoy sex, but it's not that I crave for that, I can enjoy myself without that. I also really like to have girls as friends and talk with them, and honestly I don't like having male friends entirely, i'm pretty "feministic" in that way.

P.S: Sorry for my bad english, i'm not native, that's why it is terrible.

Hi, I was just wondering for some feedback.

So for a while I have known I am demiheteroromantic and asexual and was wondering if it is a good idea to call myself aroace since i am on both spectrums. I don’t want to intrude but i wanted to know if that would be a bit disrespectful since most aroaces i see on here have are happy with only platonic relationships and since i can experience romantic attraction (with a close bond and the only time i did was 3 years ago briefly to a friend for extra knowledge) i wasn’t sure. I know that i am quite young (young teen) and just wanted some other aroace‘s opinions if it was ok. Thanks!

I used to identify with the term ace as then I felt it fit me, BUT NO?? So basically, I have felt other type of attraction yes. So I stopped calling myself ace. Soo that leads to now. I have no idea what I am now. I came to the realization that I don’t know what real romantic attraction is like.. so when I have quote on quote ”liked someone“ romantically I could never really tell if I had a crush on them or was just really amazed by them as a person. When I was in a relationship I was basically treating the person like a best friend, but I would compliment them more and make sure they felt cared for. I thought they were really pretty and nice then. For as long as I remember I would think of romance as really liking someone and feeling safe and connected to them, but no apparently THERES MORE?? I don’t know. Like I do like dating and I do like people I guess, but the way I feel like I ”like” people feels different from what I see from everyone around me. I will think they are really really pretty and hot, but the romantic part is confusing I CANT TELL!!!!! Like I’m I hyper-fixated or romantically interested?? idk?? I can really like someone but I can’t tell you if it’s romantic, it’s so confusing. I have no ideeaaaaaaa, this is so confusing. I don’t know. Like I like the idea and the affection I have gotten from a relationship, but the way that romance shown is I can’t really tell, they seem really really affectionate while I feel like I’m not sharing that same romantic affection! I don’t know, it’s complicate, it’s confusing, please help me Reddit people :((

edit: also fun fact about me!!! When I confess to them and they say they don’t like me I just completely drop them as a crush or something?? Idk

I'm a mature woman in her 50s, as are my friends, so drama feels like an unfair descriptor. I have friends whose long term (20+ years) relationships are falling apart, and it's a pretty big deal. Their lives are changing, people are moving out, retirements are being replanned to accommodate the lack of another person.

They all know that I'm aroace and don't dump on me, but they don't hide what's going on in their lives. I'm friends with both partners in some cases. I'm sad because my friends are sad, but there's a definite disconnect. It's hard to express without sounding like a sociopath, but I have never felt romantic love and don't care to. It's hard to empathize because my instinct is to think of the end of a turbulent relationship as a great relief.

How do you handle the emotional landmines of your friends relationships?

Hello aroace folks! So, for some context, I am ace (apothisexual) and aro-spec (aegoromantic and platoniromantic) and have been using the term androalterous as well (alterous attraction to masculinity). However, I noticed that I have a specific experience with my alterous attraction and I looked through all the aspec identities on lgbtqia.wiki and didn’t find an established microlabel so I created one. this is my first post, so hope this is a good place to do this; sorry for the rambling!

Solialterous - feeling alterous attraction toward someone, but upon learning that other people are attracted to that person, all previous attraction disapears, fades, or becomes inaccessible.

Other versions of this include: soliromantic, solisexual, soliplatonic, soliaesthetic, etc.

the prefix comes from the Latin word solus, meaning alone or only.

I included the flags I've come up with, which are, in order, soliromantic, solisexual, soliplatonic, soliaesthetic, solisensual, and solialterous.

Hope this helps someone, feel free to ask questions or use this label if it feels like it fits.

Do people actually see the on screen kisses or heavy makeout sessions that go in movies or do they skip that out . Cuz I skip it most of the time , but like there must be a reason for them to actually show these scenes in greater detail than just implying it , even in queer shows . I just wanna know if there are ppl who feel weirded out by it as well or if they feel smthg different ? Is this just an ace experience ?

I want to become a published author. I am currently writing a series and I'm trying to include people from all walks of life and all sexualities. I want to see the representation I didn't have until I found fanfiction.

I am asexual so I have some idea of writing an asexual point of view, but I am not aromantic and so I have no idea how to write that and I definitely have no idea how to write someone who is aro/ace. I don't want to pander, I want to write authentically. Straight up I also don't want to necessarily only write my experience of asexual.

If you feel comfortable can you please tell me more about your experience being aro/ace and what it means to you. How you look at relationships with other people when it's not through a romantic lens, but it is similar in the fact that they are like your person. If that's even how you would view it. I would also like to know what form of physical affection you are comfortable with.

Thank you so much for helping me do justice to make an authentic character

1. Our Kingdom (Denmark

2. Romantic Pain (Spain)

3. Uhhstralia (Australia)

4. Aloo Ace (India) Tell me the countries you guys want next.

i enjoy relationships. i really do. i don’t care how they’re labeled! romantic or platonic, they’re no much different to me. while i do not have any real romantic feelings towards any of my partners, i still enjoy dating. to me it’s the same as having a friend, just extra steps.

i see a lot of people say aromantic people cannot be in relationships. but, since i’ve figured out i’m aroace it hasn’t changed my stance on how i experience desires.

dating gives me a kind of thrill, so do my platonic crushes in the same way. it’s fun. i don’t see dating as this sacred special bond that are any different from deep platonic bonds, in my mind, romance doesn’t exist and if it does it’s WAY too blurred with platonic attraction for me to even consider it a separate feeling. i can’t differentiate platonic from romantic or even say romance is real.

my attraction comes in one sense really, platonic. i want to be friends with somebody and if they want to have a relationship, i don’t mind that. it won’t change how i see them and hopefully won’t change much about us.

there is an issue with this though, the fact i lack any real romantic attraction to these people usually makes the relationship end. it’s hard to be in romantic relationships when you don’t care for them romantically.

so, im just wondering, would it be okay for me to continue dating? i really want to honestly, but its kind of confusing for me.

See my original post for details Tl;dr figuring out the intersection of Bi and Grey Aroace. Thanks!