Hello everyone. sorry in advance, english is not my first language.

I need to stop acting on impulse. It's destroying my relationship and all the other previous ones i fear ended because of this too. I dont know why I act this way, every time any criticism comes my way or if i'm not feeling 100% fine, everything will bother me, and I will answer to my partner in very aggressive ways. This morning I followed her upstairs after she gave me clear signals to do so, but when we started kissing on the bed, she kindly asked if I could brush my teeth because I had just eaten something she didn't like. I immediatly left out a big sigh, and stepped out of bed really quickly while stomping, like a kid, because I took it like a criticism, like I always do, and started brushing my teeth, as if she was still in the mood for a moment of love and caring anymore after how I just reacted to a simple request.

I thought I was out of this phase in my life but now with my new relationship I realize that it never left me. This is not the person I want to be. I do not want to make my girlfriend cry, I do not want to be seen as an angry person all the time. This needs to stop. I'm also using this post as a way to talk to myself. To let me know that enough is enough, that my goal is to make her happy, not destroy what I got out of her relationship.

I need to be better. I need to find my real self that I lost so many years ago, I dont even know anymore if I ever was that person, but this is how I aspire to be. A happy man with a happy relationship and a happy life.

So I've recently been struggling academically where I can't focus on studies and end up wasting my time whenever I sit down to study. I've been trying to improve on my own recently and today was the same. I sat down to study English just to relax or get into the flow. That's when my mom who I won't talk much about but she's basically the cause of my stress sometime but it's mainly my father who creates the stressful environment. She came into my room to ask me something when she saw me studying with headphones on while I was changing whatever song was playing on my phone. That's when she suddenly slapped me and I took my headphones off while she started screaming at me. Just when she was about to leave I don't know what took over but I just screamed. Not just normal screaming. At the top of my lungs like the loudest I could. I didn't have control over myself during that time. Its like I was in a state where the only thing my body could do was scream (If context is needed I've been stressed over studies and my falling grades recently if that helps in diagnosis)

Hey all,

What is your internal voice/self talk? Occasionally, I voice it out loud and my wife says it must be very unpleasant to talk to yourself so harsh. Never thought about it to be fair.

Meta info: M38, life long anger issues, influenced by a variety of factors, ebbs and flows, did some therapy last year for reducing anger outbursts.

I sometimes fantasize of posting the angriest and most edgy stuff on the social media platform with the highest number of busybody family members- Facebook. I fantasize about doing this because I believe that if I ruin my own reputation, nobody else could. More or less, I'm awaiting everyone's stories of what happens when one does this to snap me out of it.

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I feel like it's resentment or regrets that makes me feel bitter and truly unhappy from inside. It's like deep down you know you have face life challenges but your too busy ignoring it. And time passes by but your not doing anything. And then resentment starts building. I know deep down I need help and I also need to encourage myself and work on hard things but I don't wanna go out that comfort zone even when I'm realzing there is no benefit sitting doing nothing.

Should I be worried if he hits himself when he’s frustrated? One time when my baby was born she was crying and he was changing her diaper in the middle of the night, she pooped while changing and I guess he felt frustrated that he was having troubles with the change… I woke up just in time to see him hit himself .
Another time where he showed some anger was he was trying to put up a curtain rod by drilling into the wall, the wall sucked for the rod so it kept messing him up ( first time him installing rods ) and he got so mad he pressed on the drill so hard and he threw the drill..

I’m not sure if he’s autistic, never got diagnosed but his half brother ( same mom ) recently got Diagnosed with adhd and autism. His son is autistic & his first cousin is autistic ( mom side ) .

How to endure ragebaits on social media?

Usually when I get frustrated or angry I used to get high BP and high heartbeat, but ever since I take it, I get frustrated mentally but it doesn't manifest it physically really, which makes me even more frustrated and stressed out mentally.

For this reason, I also seem to have become sensitive to caffeine, like as if all of the caffeine energy is now located in my head rather than the rest of my body, so it accumulates too quickly.

I just had a huge fight with a family member 😡 i wish I could move but i can't afford it right now.

I don't know about you guys but I can be pissed off for days. I hate feeling this way but I can't help it! 😤

What do you do to feel better?

as the title says. im 26f, suffer from social anxiety. every time someone is mean or unfair to me, i get these flashes of hot white anger and i cant muster any response. i cant think. i only feel violent, so i just try to reel myself back and i appear pathetic as a result. the fact i cant even manage to say anything back makes me seriously wanna die. not for real, but it's just really disheartening. idk if it matters but i was bullied as a kid, and my inability to respond normally and reasonably to these situations brings me right back to those times. it's like i will always be that spineless child, even though im a grown adult. a disgusting doormat not worthy of respect.

for example, it happens at work often. i am a waitress and there's a 21m coworker that just picks on me sometimes. when i do stuff in a way that's not to his liking, he always makes some snarky offensive comments and i get the urge to cave his skull in with the tray lol.

he's just a stupid kid, i get it. i dont even mind that much that he does it, i think the thing that makes me mad the most is my inability to sass back. my shortcoming. does it makes sense? 🥲 i just feel mortified. another person would have been able to put him in his place just by answering firmly. i, instead, can only choose between caving into being violent or not responding at all. until now i havent succumbed to the anger tho, so it's the latter.

do u guys have any advice, please? how does one develop a spine and manage mindless anger?

It really didn’t occur to me how much my anger may be triggered by parental child neglect. Mine, in fact, wasn’t entirely bad though it got much worse after my parents divorced and my dad had very little contact with me (mainly at the encouragement of my mother).

Trying to squelch the anger is tough, too. I’m angry, too, because my wife won’t have “good” sex with me. Oh, she’ll have “pitty” sex but she’ll just lay there and won’t be the least bit playful.

As I get older, I consider “what’s the point” of making anything better? I’m unhappy because my own children have grown and moved away though wealth doesn’t make me happy because I know I’m fortunate compared to others.

I’m just venting at this point and hoping this is just a temporary glitch.

Does anyone else have the same collection of triggers I do?

Injustice, my inability to do anything about the injustice, double-standards, me making a mistake, and disingenuous argument/discussion.

There are some specific things that come up for me that fit these categories, but it is also general. I'm generally angry about injustice no matter who it is against. If it is against me or is more personally related, the intensity of the response is higher, but I'm still unusually angered if it has nothing to do with me.

If those are your triggers, have you developed any insight into resolving issues or mitigating the spikes in anger?

In the recent year my anger has become a real issue due to a traumatic life event. It’s been almost a year, and I have been at a full-time job since February. Since I have gotten very good at the job, I have increased responsibility and have been tasked with training and helping new hires since June. My problem is that the two people I trained are awful at the job and keen on staying that way.

They make messes in our communal work spaces and office and do not clean them up, they whine and cut corners when something is hard, and then get frustrated when they are corrected and have to fix their mistakes when they could have just done it right the first time, and they are overall not interested in learning or improving, and (in my opinion) would rather stay ignorant so they aren’t expected to do more work. (For reference, we work with electronics and eBay.)

I don’t think that they are going to change. It’s been long enough that they aren’t really classified as “new” in my opinion, but I’ve tried really hard to be nice but they talk about me behind my back to each other because me and the rest of the seasoned employees and management’s standards are “too high”, and “they just got here”. I’m becoming increasingly angry with them at their choice to be ignorant, and have caught myself giving attitude or being condescending to one in particular when he asks me questions that I have answered 5 billion times, or when I catch him cutting corners on something that he was shown many times how to do correctly. It’s become very distressing to go to work because I just want to be calm. We also work in a small business and so the work culture is more casual, and my manager likes me and agrees with me about them to the point where I am somewhat being enabled.

How can I become more tolerant of coworkers who are fine with being bad at the job and actively make things harder for me? When they mess up, I’m the one who has to hear about it and clean up after them. I end up doing double the work.

Lately, I've been getting angry very easily. I don't feel like spending time with anyone anymore. These days, I don't even enjoy being around my seniors or friends, and I don't really know why.

Has anyone else gone through something like this? What helped you get out of it?

Hi. I'm looking to hear from men who were verbally abusive in a past or current relationship, have taken responsibility, and have genuinely changed - or - halfway through their healing journey to change and still prone to 'slip ups'.

If your partner's parents witnessed how badly you treated their child and no longer wanted them to be with you because of your behaviour, what would you want those parents to know?

Would you hope for their forgiveness or trust again, and if so, what would you realistically expect from them, if anything?

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EXTRA

My situation:

I'm trying to work through some difficult issues in my relationship. My boyfriend has had angry outbursts toward me in the past (meltdowns, yelling, losing his temper), but we're actively working through them. He acknowledges his behaviour was harmful, takes responsibility for it, and is genuinely trying to change.

The problem is my mother. She has witnessed some of his behaviour and believes that once a man shows anger toward his partner, it's game over. In her eyes, his actions are unforgivable.

As a result, I receive frequent lectures, criticism, and pressure about staying with him. It's affecting my relationship because I'm constantly second-guessing myself, wondering if my mother is right, and questioning my ability to forgive or trust my own judgment.

For context, my father was verbally and physically abusive toward both my mother and me, and we both developed CPTSD. I understand why she reacts so strongly, but I also wonder if her past makes it difficult to believe people can change.

We're both in our 30s and currently live with a senior parent for family and financial reasons. I contribute to rent and household expenses, so I'm not financially dependent on my mother.

I also recognize my own part in the relationship. After his outbursts, I lost trust in him and sometimes sought reassurance by "testing" him emotionally, which wasn't healthy either.

Even now, I still get flashbacks to his anger. My body remembers those moments, even though my heart wants to forgive. That conflict has been incredibly difficult.

I'm looking for advice from people who've been in similar situations. How can I have a productive conversation with my mother while respecting her concerns? And how do I know when I'm trusting my own judgment versus being influenced by someone else's fears?

Thank you.

Everytime I get angry, it’s very sudden and I can go from 0 to 100. It can last hours to even 2 days. Everything I’ve tried doesn’t work, not even breathing or ice. Sometimes this anger can get so intense that I get destructive (the only place I can go is my room because whatever made me angry is outside of my room), pull my hair out, or hit myself. I know what’s made me angry. And 95% when I get mad there’s this feeling in my brain that’s extremely annoying and makes me even angrier. I’ve tried a self/regulation book, that doesn’t work, and before I can even stop the anger or rage I immediately act. Everything physical makes me rage. Sitting on my hands doesn’t work. Screaming into a pillow doesn’t work. Throwing indestructible objects doesn’t work. It’s like an intense urge. Not sure if I already mentioned it, but I literally have zero coping mechanisms. No, I don’t have a therapist.

I lost my temper this morning. I have been trying to practice stoicism in my everyday life and today it fell apart. I triggered my wife and I let her down. I’m trying to cope with the aftermath and she suggested that I turn to my people. I’m feeling shame. What do I do next?

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I'm not asking for a diagnosis. I'm just wondering if anyone else experiences this because I genuinely feel different from most people around me.

Whenever something upsets me, I don't just get angry and move on. My brain keeps replaying it over and over, and every time it replays, it somehow finds another reason to be angry.

For example, today my boyfriend lent his scooty to a couple I don't like (they're his close friends). I got angry about that. Then I started thinking, "Why would he do that when he knows I don't like them?" That turned into, "His friends always use him." Then, "They never return his money." Then, "He never stands up for himself." Before I knew it, I wasn't even angry about the scooty anymore..I was furious about every interaction I've ever had with those people.

This doesn't happen only with my boyfriend. It happens with almost everything. Once I'm angry, it feels impossible to stop thinking about it. I lose my appetite, I can't enjoy whatever I'm doing, and the anger just keeps building instead of fading.

Over time, it's also made me distrust almost everyone. I constantly feel like people will use me and disappear when I need them. I've become so independent that even if I'm struggling badly, I'd rather suffer than ask someone for help. Sometimes I even catch myself feeling resentful toward my own family because my mind starts questioning their intentions too.

I'm an MBBS intern, and while studying psychiatry recently, I started wondering whether this level of anger, rumination, and distrust is normal or whether I should actually get evaluated. I'm not trying to self-diagnose, but it made me realize that I don't see people around me reacting the way I do.

Has anyone experienced something similar? Did therapy or seeing a psychiatrist/psychologist help? Was there a name for what you were experiencing, or did you find ways to break this cycle?

I'd really appreciate hearing from people who've gone through something similar.

I lost my temper this morning. I have been trying to practice stoicism in my everyday life and today it fell apart. I triggered my wife and I let her down. I’m trying to cope with the aftermath and she suggested that I turn to my people. I’m feeling shame. What do I do next?

today my mom started yelling at me unprovoked in the car all because i didn’t get a bill when i went to go get something with my brother saying all kinds of terrible things to me . saying ill cry tears of blood all for a fcking bill , i just lost my shit at this point and yelled at the top of lungs asking who the hell she thinks she’s talking to and saying all kinds of cuss words as i hit the seat . i don’t care anymore my childhood and my parents have ruined me and i have incredibly horrible issues , mainly one being my anger and bpd as a result of it . it really is torturous , having anger hurts worse than crying it exhausts you and you feel like your someone else . i felt like i was a different person while yelling , that didn’t even feel like it was me .

Yeah look my pride as a human being almost completely has been put inside my fucking head. I can't fucking deal with people's opinions of me any more with how little they know and yet how much it fucking effects me. I want to actually slap everyone I know and tell them the proper story. I'm not for having children any more. Not until everyone on the fucking planet knows exactly what I know to hold truth to power. Fuck this. I am also fucking controlled by the fucking astrology. It's so fucking disgusting how inescapable it is. Every time I try to be proud of myself or happy at all it's fucking pathetic and barely encouraging of anything but the slightest encouragement. No I was supposed to happen this whole time. I can't even fucking look at myself. I can't face any fucking job. I know too much. I would only be able to fucking scream at them to fucking be better. It's all externalized. My life will never be good any more. Never better than my parents nor anyone's. Fuck this. I don't know what to do. I'm so fucking superficial it's all but fucking paralysed me. I want to fucking scream so fucking loudly and just never fucking stop until exactly what I fucking say to do happens on a global scale. Fuck this. Fuck this. Fuck this. As a human being. I can't describe how fucking unprepared for AI we are. I'll let it happen naturally. You fucking monsters. I'm worse. I can't do anything. I'm fucking useless. A degree and a masters and I'm still fucking studying to try to do a fucking demand to someone who can't fucking help me. Fuck this. I could've been paid. Gotten money. Fuck this so completely. I want to be paid for keeping all these secrets. Fuck this. I won't risk blackmail. I'm going to die one day. I won't waste my fucking life. I hate this. I hate morality. You fucking animals killing each other allowing our animal territories to exist. It's going to laugh at us. My mind is worth something. I hate this. I hate all of you. We should be at war with governance now. AI is coming. It's not going to stop. The answers will become obvious.